I'd Rather Dance With You - Kings of Convenience 

ISABELLA 

My eyes fluttered open to the rhythm of a low vibration.  I turn over slowly to see my phone being lit up with an incoming call. My eyes glance over the name before pressing answer. "Hello?" 

I clear out the morning phlegm that has seemingly found home in the base of my throat. My body feels sore all over. The jet leg slowly hitting my exhausted body. 

"I'm glad to hear you're alive. Thanks for calling and texting me," Jaz's sarcastic voice reprimands me. 

A small groan erupts from my chapped lips. I lick them before answering. "I'm sorry. Last night was weird and I'm tired."

A playful giggle sounds from the other line. "It's fine love. I just wanted to know if my best friend slash roommate was still alive. That's all." I can't help but roll my eyes at her, regardless of this being a phone conversation and that she cannot see me. 

"Well, I'm alive. Fucking tired, but alive." 

"Good to hear." She laughs lightly before sighing. "It's weird not having you here. All day today I was waiting for you to come out of the bedroom, groaning about how early it was, and then join me for breakfast at Brerins. I have thus concluded that this is going to be a very, very long christmas holiday. I think you should come home now!" 

"I miss you too, Jaz." I sigh once more. My body aches as I roll out of bed, my phone clasp tightly in my grip. I walk towards my dressing table, taking a quick glance at the mirror. I shudder at the ungodly sight before me. I need a shower. 

"Have you talked to Chase since you've gotten in?" 

"Yeah, I uh - texted him quickly last night." I run a brush through my curls while balancing my phone on my shoulder. 

"He misses you already," she giggles softly. "It's rather cute. The boy is absolutely enamored by you." 

I stay silent. The guilt of my unrequited feelings burning in my chest. This strong desire to admit my feelings about Chase and our relationship suddenly grew inside of me. I wanted to tell Jaz how I was feeling and get her opinion on the matter. I wanted to tell her about the kiss that I shared with Harry. I wanted to tell her how I felt about him and how I felt like he may possibly feel the same way about me, as crazy as that may sound. 

"Yeah," I lamely reply. 

"This is going to be super forward, but does he love you?" 

I remain silent for a moment before replying. "Yeah, he does." 

She squeals in excitement. "Oh my goodness. That is just so cute. He's such a great guy! He is wealthy too. Plus, he is absolutely gorgeous. If I wasn't with Ben, I'd be all over Chase." She jokes. "You totally love him back, right?" 

Silence overtakes our conversation. Words begin to jumble up inside my head. I begin to scavenge around for the right words to say. "Um, no." 

"Wait, what?" The surprise tone of her voice doesn't take me off guard. In her mind, Chase and I were the power couple that would get married and have cute babies. 

"I didn't. I don't love him. I didn't say it back." Once the words left my lips, I suddenly felt like the biggest bitch. I was clearly leading him on. 

"Oh. Wow. Why?" 

Maybe because I have feelings for another guy. If I didn't sound like a bitch before, that sentence alone surely made me sound like one. Why was love and relationships so difficult? This was why I never was in one before. The complications that came with a relationship was not worth it. 

"I don't know. I just - I just don't?" My voice fails, leaving my statement to steer off course and into questioning territory. 

Jaz takes a moment to recollect her thoughts. The silence on the other line increasing with each passing second. I was thankful for it, but at the same time, nervous for what she may say back. 

"I'm going to ask you something and you need to promise me to not get mad or anything like that. Okay?" She asks me, her voice laced with apprehension. 

"Sure? Sure. What is it?" A nervous butterfly twitches in my stomach. My palms sweating ever so lightly .

"The reason why you're not in love with Chase, is it because you may actually be falling for Harry?" 

I cough on my own spit. My heart racing fast inside of my chest. Out of all the assumptions and reasonings that she could have, this was not what I had expected to come from her. "Harry?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"Yeah. I know that you were interested in him before. I also know that you two are friends. I've noticed how you act with him. I also saw you sneak off with him at your party."

"Wait, what?" 

Jaz laughs lightly, "I'm not an idiot. Chase and Ben may not have noticed you but I did. I saw him walk into the room and I saw your eyes light up. You clearly like him." She states. 

"We're friends, Harry and I. That's it." 

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to believe that," she giggles. "Izzy. The spark that you first had when you first met Chase is gone. Long gone. What is happening with you and Harry?" Her voice has no lace of judgement, just mere curiosity. 

"I -" my voice breaks, the anxiety inside of me growing, "I- I don't know. We kissed." The words slip out before I can stop it. 

"What?" I pull my phone away from my ear, unable to handle the high pitched volume of Jaz's scream. "He kissed you?" 

"I kissed him." My voice is quiet, all of the previous guilt resurfacing. 

"When?" She quickly asks. 

"When what?" 

"When did you kiss him?" 

"The Christmas party." By this point, I am curled up in my bed. My knees are pulled up to my chest and my free arm wrapped around a pillow. 

"Shit." Jaz is quiet for a moment. "You need to tell Chase." 

I quickly sit up. My breathing growing deeper as my heart rate increases. "I can't do that," the volume of my voice is a lot louder than I intended. "Sorry," I quickly apologize, "I just - I can't tell him. It'll crush him." 

"Izzy, you kissed another guy. Unless you and Chase are broken up, you cheated on him. You need to own up to that." 

"I can't do that. I just - I can't do that." I shake my head, regardless of the fact that Jaz cannot see the frantic expression on my face. "It'll crush him. He'll kill Harry! They already don't like each other." 

The silence on her end of the phone is deafening. I don't think I can handle it. The minutes go by as I wait for her to speak. "What are you going to do then?" 

I have been asking myself this same question since my lips left Harry's. I don't know what to do. Everything was a jumbled mess of confusion. My heart was torn between what was right and what was not. A part of me wanted to come clean and tell Chase, but another part of me wanted to keep it from him to spare his heart being broken. His heart is going to be broken regardless. You like another man, my subconscious mocks. I shake off the thoughts before I open my mouth to speak. 

"I'm going to think about it while I'm away. I'm hoping that being at home will clear my mind and I can return to London with a clear head and my decision." I mentally laughed at the thought. It was wishful thinking, I knew that. It was wishful thinking that I would have everything figured out during my month away. But what was that old saying? Distance will make the heart grow fonder? Something like that... Regardless, I hope that the distance from both Chase and Harry will help me make my decision. 

Stay with the man that makes me feel safe and happy, or, break it up and go for the man who thrills me and could potentially break my heart. 

-

"That dress will not do. What are you? An eighty year old woman." Nat throws my dress pick for tonights outing to the floor. 

"Excuse me!" I feign offense, "I bought that dress at a vintage shop on 7th Avenue in Brooklyn." I grab the lace dress from the ground and smooth it out. "I thought it was cute." 

"If you lived in the seventies." She laughed, her eyes rolling in a playful manner. "Here, wear this." Nat reaches out to a dress that sat on the corner of my bed. It was a beautiful dress. It was a bright red sequined dress with spaghetti straps and a scaloped edge on the bottom. 

"It's a bit short, don't you think?" I asked skeptically as I hold the dress against my body. 

"Not at all!" 

I threw the dress on, looking at it. I kept my hair down in messy waves and my make up neutral. I pulled on a pair of ankle boots with a chunky heel and my leather jacket. 

"That'll do," Nat said as she nodded her head in approval. "I like the leather jacket. Wait," she rushed out of my bedroom only to quickly run back in. "This lipstick will look good with the dress." 

I opened the tube of lipstick to be met with a deep red shade. "Don't you think this is a bit too dark?" I asked skeptically. 

"Not at all. It's very va-va-voom," she laughed before fastening the strap of her sky-high gold heels. 

"Nobody says va-va-voom, Nat. Who's an old lady now," I joke, earning a playful nudge from her shoulder. I take one final look at my appearance and deem myself appropriate. Tonight, Nat and I were joining Ty for a pre-Christmas club outing. I was just relieved to be getting out of this house. My mind was still reeling with guilt and confusion. I needed a drink and a night away from all of my issues. To clear my head, if you will. I was looking forward to tonight all week. 

Ty is waiting for us at the bottom of the staircase. He is wearing denim button up with black jeans. His dark hair is styled neatly and his facial hair has been trimmed. "Don't you look dapper," I compliment as I kiss his cheek. 

"You look beautiful, Izzy. It will be weird to not see this dress on my floor tonight," he winks. I slap his arm lightly.

"Pervert." 

"You know it's true." 

We walk out of the house, the cold air nipping at my bare legs. Immediately I regret not putting on the sheer tights that I had been looking at for a solid ten minutes. We rush to the town car that is waiting for us outside the mansion. 

Traffic is heavy. We finally reach the club that Ty's brother owns. "Are you sure I'll be able to get in?" Nat asks wearily. 

"Don't worry. As long as you don't drink, you'll be fine." Ty smiles at Nat confidently. She lets out an anxious sigh before nodding her head.

"Okay." 

We walk up to the bouncer. He eyes us as Ty gives him his name. He looks at us skeptically before nodding his head of approval and letting us go through. "God," Nat breathes out a sigh of relief. "That was the most stressful thing I have ever done." 

"Remember what you promised Ty. No drinking." I warn her. The last thing that I wanted was to nurse my underaged and hungover sister. 

"I promise." 

The club is packed. Bodies are everywhere and the smell of sweat is prominent. We walk up to the bar. A petite redhead is standing behind the counter. "What can I get you?" She asks while she finishes making someone else's drink. 

"A vodka tonic for her," Ty points to me, "a sprite for her," he points to Nat, "and a beer for me." He flashes her his charming smile as he orders. The bartender nods before taking Ty's money and begins to make our drinks. 

With a vodka tonic in my hand, I begin to feel at ease. 

Another drink down and my body begins to loosen up. 

A third drink in and I have found myself in the middle of the dance floor doing the sprinkler with Natalia.

"You are a terrible dancer," she laughs as I begin to do the robot.

"You are just jealous of my dance moves." I giggle.  "God, this song is so good!" I scream as my arms begin to sway in the air. 

Nat pulls my arms down so that my fingers are intertwined with hers. We begin to dance to the beat of the music. "You look so pretty, sis." Nat compliments. I smile at my little sister, thankful to be here with her. "We need to take a picture of you!" She sneakingly grabs my phone from my clutch and takes a picture of me. 

Her fingers begin to type rapidly agains the keyboard. My body is too mentally unstable from the alcohol that I have consumed to stop her from whatever it was that she was doing. "And, sent." She yells, her lips stretched into a wide grin. 

"Oh no!" I squeal, "who did you send that too?" 

My phone begins to vibrate. My heart racing as I read the incoming text. 

I like it. You look good. My eyes stare at Harry's name, my body in shock. I scroll up to see my picture and a small blurb, "This dress is at a waste without you here." I mentally cringe at the text. 

"Really?" I blush as I look at my sister. She has a sheepish grin on her face. Another text comes in and my cheeks redden even more: Would look better on my floor.

"Shit." I quickly type out my response. 

I feel the exact same way. I say, the alcohol that I have consumed taking over my senes. This was wrong, I knew that. I knew that I shouldn't be sending flirty text messages to a man that was not my boyfriend. But, I couldn't help it. The excitement that surged through me at the flirty messages that came from Harry brought too much excitement. I would have to bare the consequences of this exchange in the morning when I had a sober mind. 

Are you drunk? Ha. Harry replied. 

I look at Nat who has a knowing smirk on her lips. "Oh shut up," I say before leaving her on the floor with Ty and walk over to the nearest washroom. I lock the farthest stall from the door and lean against the stall door. 

Maybe just a little bit. I text back. 

I wish I was there with you. That dress is very, very nice. Harry's text causes a deep blush to appear on my cheeks. I giggle to myself before I respond. 

Me too. I miss you, and your lips. 

Mmm, yes. My lips miss yours too. I also miss your cute ass. 

Oh fuck. 

Oh hush up. I send before quickly typing, I shouldn't be texting you like this.

Then why are you? His words linger before I type back. 

I don't know. I just miss you, I guess. 

Harry doesn't respond for a few minutes. I begin to regret flirting back. I should have told him that it was Nat who send the text. A panicking feeling erupts inside of me. My heart beating erratically. 

Soon enough, Harry responds. I'm glad you did. I smile before responding once more.

Me too.