Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift ft. Civil Wars

ISABELLA

A cool breeze fluttered through the bay window that I had found myself sitting at many times. It was wide open allowing the sounds of Brooklyn sing throughout the room. There was something soothing about the cars honking and the chatter of people around mixed with the heavy muskiness of cigarette smoke that lingered inside the living room.

I sat against the pillow that laid against the wall. My legs curled up against me. The long sleeves of the oversized sweater that I am wearing keep my fingers from growing cold. As I sat on the bench, I watch the people roam the streets below. Everyone seemed to be so sure of their lives. They had places to go, people to see. They seemed confident in who they were. It didn't seem to matter to them their social status or if they had money or not. What mattered to them was life. One of the most beautiful things about Brooklyn was how carefree everyone seemed to be. Regardless of where they stood in their lives, they carried on with their days. I admired it. I longed for that.

Suddenly, two strong arms wrap around my body and pull me close. My senses are heightened by the strong scent of tobacco and pine. I lean back as lips begin to attack my neck. A moan escapes my lips as his hands slip underneath his sweater. "Just my sweater? Baby, you know what that does to me." He whispers into my ear. I turn around and am met with a pair of lustful eyes.

"Underwear is so unnecessary." I say against his lips. Ty lets out a low growl. His lips crash against my own. It becomes a battle of lips and tongue. He bites down on my lip and a loud moan escapes my lips.

I wrap my legs around his naked torso as he lifts me up without hesitation. He continues to kiss me fervently as he leads us back to his mattress. Ty trips on my jeans that are strewn across the bedroom floor. "Shit!" Ty falls back and I land on top of him. A giggle leaves my mouth.

-

Ty Bach - boyfriend? No. Fuck buddy? Yes. Did anyone know about our relationship? No and that was something that I was going to keep. We had met at school our freshmen year. He came from the same life as me. The life of high class society and country clubs. We bonded over our hatred for our parents taste in lifestyle and the desire to run away from it all. He was my Christopher Hayden and I was his Lorelai Gilmore.

When we first met, I was still hooked into the idea of pleasing my parents and living a "good girl" life. Even though deep down, I desired to be something different. After a party, we found ourselves in the back closet of some rich kids parents house and he showed me a new world. Granted two double vodka shots had given me the extra boost that I needed. But he was gorgeous and he got me. He got my family and my life. It was safe to say that I didn't care what happened between us as long as I was able to escape from where I came from.

I lost my virginity to him. Sleeping with him felt like I was giving my parents the middle finger to all of their morals and rules for me. I felt liberated in myself. I felt free. However, I never physically showed any signs of my rebellious lifestyle. I began to change from being Lorelai and into Lane Kim. The back of my closet was where my leather jackets and cigarettes hid. It was the knowledge that I was doing something that my parents did not approve of in which I felt truly badass.

Yet, regardless of the freedom that Ty had shown me and in a sense gave me, I still felt trapped. I still feel like I am living a lie. My little hideaway to Brooklyn was no longer enough for me. Ty was no longer enough for me.

-

His lips continue to work down my neck. His plump lips begin to suck on the sensitive skin underneath my ear. His teeth bite down causing a hiss to leave my mouth. "Fuck," I moan as his fingers slip underneath his sweater and make it's way to my heat.

"Always so ready for me," his voice is full of lust and longing. Heat radiates throughout my body as he goes in and out. As he pulls out he quickly re-enters.

"Fuck. Always so tight." I wrap my legs around his naked body. My fingernails dig into his back as we reach our highs. My voice is staggered as I yell out in pleasure.

Ty was the only man that I had ever been with. I had nobody else to compare him to. Sex with him was always good. I never had one complaint. But I couldn't deny that there was something missing when we were together. It was hot but it didn't feel passionate. There was lust but it lacked love and desire. I knew that Ty was not my soulmate I knew that we were never going to be together. I had mentally scolded myself long time ago for developing feelings for him. I didn't love Ty. I cared for him but nothing more than the man that I slept with.

I knew that he cared about me too. But our feelings for one another in the romantic sense of the word was, and would always remain, platonic. That was why I knew it would be okay for me to leave. He wasn't holding me back. He wasn't holding me down to truly find all of me. Not just the little snip bits that I have been shown over the past twenty-one years of my life.

Ty's sweaty body rolls off of me. I stretch my body; relieving myself of the post-sex aches that lingered against my muscles. He pulls the sheet over our sweaty bodies. He leaves a chaste kiss against my forehead and wraps an arm around me. That was one thing that I appreciated about our arrangement. Even though this was nothing more than sex between us, he still showed little intimate gestures. It was these gestures that made me feel less cheap.

"I have something to tell you." As I say this, I trace small patterns against his palm.

"Mmm?" His forehead nuzzles against my hair as he pulls me closer to him.

"I'm moving."

Ty pulls away slightly. His eyes show that he is clearly confused. "To Brooklyn?"

"No," I say slowly, "To London." Ty pulls away completely and sits up. He runs his fingers through his short brown hair. He lets out a small huff and pulls out a cigarette. He offers me one and I take one from the pack. He lights them both and we lean back against the headboard whilst puffs of smoke escape our swollen lips.

"London." He says slowly. I nod. "Why?"

I inhale another breath of smoke and exhale slowly. "I need a change."

"So you're going to move to fucking London?" He laughs slightly. I chuckle and inhale another puff.

"Yeah. I- I need to get out of here T. I have nothing stopping me."

"What about me?" His voice is low as he continues to inhale the cigarette smoke.

"It's not like we're going to stop being friends."

"But who am I going to fuck when you're gone." He gives me a playful wink and a nudge of the shoulder.

"You're an ass, you know that right." I nudge him back with my shoulder. I give him a small smile and lean against his side. His strong arm wraps around my small body and pulls me in.

"Iz, if you want to do this... I say do it. But I'm going to fucking miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too."

"I don't say this often, but you are my best friend. I love you." He gives me a light kiss on top of my head.

"I love you too, T." I give him a small smile and put out my cigarette. I wrap my arms around his naked body and nuzzle into him. He wraps his arms around me fully and pulls me so that I am now straddling his lap. My arms wrap around his torso and I lean my head against his chest.

"Did you tell anyone else?"

"No. You're the only one."

We sit like this for a few minutes. Neither one saying anything. It was moments like these, when he holds me closely, that I am thankful that he was in my life. Even though we were not in love with one another, I knew that he loved me; as did I. He had shown me so much of this world. I wouldn't be able to lose him.

"When?"

"Hmm?" I hum softly.

"When are you going to move." I sit up so that our foreheads are just touching.

"I'm thinking next week."

"Do you have a place to stay up there? A job?"

"No." I didn't think that far ahead. Shit.

"You are lucky that I am your best friend, Isabella Maxwell." He reaches for his phone and dials a number.

I sit and listen as he begins to speak into the phone. "Jaz? It's Ty. Listen, I have a favor to ask of you." He stays silent as the person, Jaz, speaks on the other line. "Yeah, yeah - I get that. But this is important." Pause. "My friend is moving to London next week. Super impromptu escape type shit. Do you have a place for her to stay? Maybe a job you could hook her up with?" Pause. "This is why I love you, Jaz Hemmings. Thanks babe. I miss you too. I'll have to visit then since you'll be watching over my best girl." Another pause. Ty's eyes light up as he laughs at whatever Jaz says on the other end. "Talk to you later, bye."

I stare at Ty as he places his phone on top of his dresser.

"You're welcome." He smirks smugly.

"What the hell was that?" I laugh.

"Jaz Hemmings, we dated when we were eight."

"What?" My laughter grows louder.

"Our families were close. She's basically like a sister. Anyways, she lives in London. She has an extra room in her place. Her roommate just moved out, so she said you could live there."

"No, I can't put her out like that." The last thing that I wanted to do was become an nuisance to some girl that I never met.

"Where are you going to live then, Iz?"

"I'd figure it out." I say stubbornly.

"You're going to live with her. She's nice and shit. You'd like her."

"Fine." I give him a stubborn pout and keep my arms folded against my naked chest.

"Don't do that babe. I feel better knowing that you are with someone up there. I don't want to get a call and find out that you got killed or some fucked up shit. Just do this for me, okay?" He rubs his hands up and down my arms and gives me a childish smile. I am a sucker for that smile, he knows that. Dick head.

"Fine. Thank you, T. I appreciate it." He just gives me a nod and another kiss on the cheek. He then kisses my other cheek, nose, forehead and lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and scoot closer into him. I pull back slightly as my lips hover above his. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know." He gives me a cheeky smirk and leans in once again for another kiss.

-

It had been a three days since I told Ty that I was leaving.

It has been two days since I booked a one way ticket to London.

It has been one hour since I told Nat that I was leaving and I already regret doing so. Ever since I told her that I was moving away, she has not once stopped crying. I understand that it was hard to let me go. We are best friends, sisters - she was only sixteen and needed me. But as much as my heart breaks for her and this moment, I know deep down that this was what needs to happen. That I needed this.

"Why again? Why are you moving?" She blubbers between each tear that falls down her pale cheek.

"Nat, I need this for me. I can't live here anymore. I can't - I can't pretend that I'm happy. I'm tired of it."

"You're not happy?" Her eyes grow wide and she wraps her petite arms around my neck. "Why?" She whispers in my ear. I hated seeing her like this. I hated knowing that I was the cause of the tears that stained her perfect cheeks.

"Mom and dad, this house, society. Everything."

"Me?"

"No!" My hands reach out for her and I place my hands gently on each side of her face. "I would never be tired of you sweetie. You're my best friend." She begins to cry once again but this time I don't hold back my own tears.

This was okay. I need this. I kept repeating to myself.

"You can come visit me. We will Skype every day and text. I will come back for your prom and your graduation. I'm not going to miss those things okay?"

"Okay."

I wrap my arms around her shaking body and pull her tighter against me. We continue to sit and cry. "Have you told mom and dad?" She asks me quietly.

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"Do I have to?" I laugh lightly.

"Iz. You have to tell them. They will kill you if you don't."

"They will kill me regardless. Their perfect little girl is moving to London and not staying in their perfect little house." I scoff.

"Iz, they don't think that."

"I went to university to study business because they want me to take over their company. And now- now I'm leaving it all. They are going to disown me." Shit, I hadn't even thought about how my parents were going to react to this.

"But, you're doing this for you right?"

"Yeah."

"Then who cares what mom and dad think. Go out and find yourself. You hated business school anyways."

I laugh at that because it couldn't be farther from the truth. I wanted to be an event planner but my parents had claimed that was not a job for a Maxwell. I was supposed to take over the family business doing god-knows what and talk mergers, investments and other fucking business talk that I loathed.

"Maybe this is what you need." Nat says quietly. She bites down on her lip in contemplation. "Maybe this is what you need to figure out what you really want. Find your purpose in life and maybe even find love. I don't know. But, maybe this is what you need Iz." Nat wraps her hands around my own and we sit in silence.

"Maybe you're right," I say after a while. "This is what I need! I am a grown woman. I can make my own damn decisions and mistakes." I giggle and so does Nat. "I'm moving to London!" I yell.

"You're moving to London!" She yells back. A fit of laughter echoes through our room as we fall back onto her king sized bed. This was going to be okay. This was right. This was needed. This was going to be okay.

-

The air in the room was heavy with tension. Mother sat on one end of the rather large dining room table and my father sat at the head. Nat sits in front of me as we silently eat our dinner. My appetite was sparse. The nagging feeling to disclose my upcoming move to my parents was eating me up inside. I had felt an extreme uneasiness and anxiety creeped up within me.

"Isabella. Why are you not eating?" My mother speaks from across the room. This table was too damn long for the four of us.

"I'm not very hungry."

"There are children in Africa that are starving and would kill to have that meal."

"I'm sure the children in Africa would kill for a bed to sleep in too but you don't see us sending our beds to them." I quip back. Nat lets out a soft giggle and my father has a small smirk on his lips.

"Just eat your dinner, Bella."

"Mom, please don't call me Bella. You know I don't like it."

"So! What about that sunshine we're having!" Nat cuts in before the air grows even more awkward than it already was.

"I'm moving to London." I blurt out.

My mother drops her fork on her plate causing a loud clunk to ripple throughout the silent room. "What do you mean you're moving to London?" My father asks me. His voice is level and calm, something that I had not been expecting.

"I decided that I am going to move to London for a year. Get away from here for a bit. I just graduated university and needed a change of scenery."

"You are not moving to London, Isabella Maxwell. I will not allow it." My mother's voice has somehow pitched a few octaves higher than normal. My blood begins to boil with annoyance at her.

"You can't tell me not to go, mother. I am not asking for your permission. I am simply letting you and dad know what is going on in my life. I am moving to London on Sunday."

"But that's two days from now!" She shrieks.

"Yes, I am aware."

"With what money are you going to be living off of?" She challenges me. I take a few deep breaths stopping myself from saying something I would regret. My father remains silent as my mother continues to ramble on about how irresponsible it is of me to just decide to get up and move away.

"I've been saving up from working at the coffee shop. Plus, grandmother Ritchie's inheritance that she left me after she passed away. I haven't spent any of it and that' s a good one-hundred grand in my account That is enough for me to move over and live decently until I find a job there."

"And where do you expect to live? Work?" She challenges me once more.

"I have a friend who's friend is letting me live with her. She comes from a wealthy home."

"What is her name?" My father asks, finally including himself into our conversation.

"Jasmine Hemmings."

"Hemmings. Very well then. Her father owns a sister company of ours in London. You can work for him over there until you are finished with your little escape."

I look at my father with disbelief. That was the last thing that I had wanted to do. It had defeated the purpose of my escape.

"No, dad. No thank you. I appreciate that but no. I do not want to work in the business. I want to do something else."

"We will not allow you to leave otherwise."

"Dad, I respect you and mother but I am twenty-one. I am a university graduate and an adult. I do not need my parents permission to move away. Thank you for the job offer but I will have to decline." With that I get up and walk away from the awkward tension that lingers in the stuffy dining room of my parents cold mansion.

This was it. This was happening. I was moving away and no longer a slave to my parents lifestyle and choices.

I think I may throw up.

-