Extra: Beware the Physical Exams Without the Fourth Wall!

Warning: This chapter includes mentions of fake scars. Please be advised that this is not making light of abuse. This is only intended to keep the chapter lighthearted and easy to read.

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Short Story: Excerpt from Chapter 4: Beware the Physical Exams Without the Fourth Wall!

Today, the host club was working in the garden. Haru-Chan, Honey-Senpai, and Mori-Senpai were dressed in adorable traditional wear. The twins, Tamaki-Senpai, Kyoya-Senpai, and Nii-Sama were dressed in waiter outfits. I was forced by the twins dress in a maid outfit, complete with a bow on my head. Why Author-Sama...? Why a maid outfit? Why not... a butler uniform, or a kimono? Why a maid? I sighed, hanging my head down as I made my way next to Haru-chan, my brother in between the twins and I. At least Author-Sama had enough sense to place me between Nii-Sama and Haru-Chan when we welcomed the guests.

I had no requests for today for the purpose of being able to showcase all the different hosts in this chapter, so Kyoya-Senpai put me to work serving the ladies. He said something about how Author-Sama made him do it so she can write all the different scenes. Nii-Sama had a few girls request him alone so I was on my own for today. Author-Sama, can you not make Nii-Sama that popular? I get that silver-haired anime characters are generally good looking, Nii-Sama among them, but it's hard for me as the younger sibling to see all these girls flocking to him for attention. I'll only accept the best of the best for my official Nee-Sama. Among his admirers for today, Miss Natsu wasn't in the group, not that she ever was, thankfully. I didn't quite understand, but Miss Natsu never requested him alone despite pining after Nii-Sama. Author-Sama, she won't be Nii-Sama's love interest right? If she is, I quit as the main character of this fanfiction. Find me another fanfiction immediately. If she's staying, I'm leaving and that's final.

"Onee-Sama, would you like some tea?" I asked politely with a cute smile as I approached Tamaki-Senpai's table. Gotta fake a smile... Gotta fake a smile... Can't let these girls know that they're all extras in both the fanfiction and anime...

"Oh, how cute~!" Some of the girls cried when they saw me give my facade of a smile.

"So," Tamaki-Senpai asked them, "which cup would my princess like her tea in? The Foley? The Worcester? Or perhaps the Susie Cooper Gardenia?" One guest examined all of the cups.

"Beautiful~!" She sighed. "These are all English antiques, aren't they? Oh, which one do you like, Tamaki?" The lady asked him with a soft voice. Tamaki-Senpai grasped her hand and brought his face closer to her's, his hand holding her chin.

"Which one do I like?" He repeated. "Well, none of these compare to my princess." Sparkles flew around him and the guest.

"Oh, Tamaki~ I don't really know what to say!"

I giggled as I watched the interaction. Tamaki-Senpai's different personalities with the hosts and with the guests entertains me. Personally though, I'd never fall for such a flamboyant personality as his. If he wasn't the main character of the anime and so hilariously oblivious to everything, I feel like his personality would be that spoiled rich kid in all those animes. I shook my head and set down a cup of tea and a tea pot quietly, so I didn't disturb them, before moving on to the twins' table. I have to get to all the tables in sync with the anime or Author-Sama will never forgive me!

"So you've never been to Covent Garden?" I heard Kao-chan ask one of the guests as I approached the table. Speaking of Covent Garden, I wonder where the anime and/or manga creators came up with the names for the tea sets and locations. Are they actual names?

"No~ all of our antiques are from Portobello Road." The lady replied to him.

"I think you'd like Covent Garden." Hika-chan suggested to the guest. "Most of our Victorian pieces are from there."

I didn't want to butt into their conversation, so I silently came over to set down a new teapot and to take the empty one away. But I was too silently, apparently, since Kao-chan didn't hear me and the teapot I was holding accidentally hit Kao-chan's teacup, spilling the hot contents. Kao-chan flinched, and I started to panic. Author-Sama! You're supposed to stay on script! According to the anime, Kaoru dipped his finger into the tea! How could you deviate Author-Sama?!

"Kaoru!" Hika-chan exclaimed in shock.

"Oh my goodness!" I cried out. "I'm so sorry~!" Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at Kao-chan's pained expression. I have to act for the sake of allowing the club to be blissfully unaware that they're simply words on a computer... I have to keep acting...

Hika-chan then found the perfect chance for a brotherly love act. Taking Kao-chan's burnt finger to his mouth and kissed it.

"Honestly, Kaoru, you have to be more careful." Hika-chan stated softly to his younger twin. "From now on, keep your eyes on me, okay?"

"Yes, Hikaru~" Kaoru replied.

The guests were entranced by their performance. I saw the twins' act on a daily basis, as did most of the girls, but I could never fathom how they could act like this so calmly. The forbidden brotherly love act surely was a hard image to maintain, though I'm sure the twins' close relationship made it easier. I shivered at the idea of Kyoya-Senpai ever making Nii-Sama and I do these types of acts. It wouldn't be right... Author-Sama, don't think about doing it. I'm not into that kind of stuff...

"Oh~ I can't take it! It's overwhelming~!" A guest exclaimed as she looked away.

"You have to watch this!" The other guest told her friend. "You may not get another chance! Who knows when it'll happen again!" Well, it happens quite often, ladies. After all, that is their whole concept for the entirety of their existence in the host club.

Suddenly, Kyoya-Senpai saw a perfect chance to slip in a business opportunity and quickly approached the two swooning girls. I shook my head at the typical Kyoya and quickly cleaned up the spilled coffee as well as replacing the teacups and the teapot.

"You're absolutely right, mademoiselle. All beauty is fleeting. Just take a look at these cherry blossoms. You'll never be able to see them this vibrant again." Kyoya-Senpai actually looked quite charming standing there holding a small branch of cherry blossoms. It almost makes me laugh. The shadow king is sparkling under the sun. I wonder if he'll burn like a vampire...

"And that's why," he continued while pulling out a book with Hika-chan and Kao-chan's face on it, "I've compiled this picture book that contains photos that capture the beauty of each passing day. Incidentally, I've prepared similar books of the other hosts as well. And if you ladies are interested in collecting all six of them, I'll discount the full set for you." Kyoya-Senpai had a photo album of everyone in the host club, including mysef and Nii-Sama. Hey! Kyoya-Senpai! You're violating my photographic rights! I demand that you pay me back!! Someone, sue Kyoya-Senpai! How can you readers like such a law-breaker?! Faking innocence while controlling the police force... I bet he makes the laws of this anime series with that Onion squad of his...

The girls pulled out their wallets automatically.

"I'll take them!"

"Me too, please!"

"Well, now we know how the club makes extra money!" The two twins said in unison. "But I have to wonder..." Hika-chan started. "... When did he take pictures of us?" Kao-chan finished. I wonder when they get the chance to practice their synchronization when speaking. I can imagine the two of them backstage with scripts, rehearsing their lines together. I shook my head out of the clouds and quickly finished my task at the twins' table before serving a second cup of tea to their guests. After that, I scurried over to Nii-Sama's table, waving a quick greeting to him before I set down his tea.

"Karino!" Nii-Sama said happily as I joined them. "Did anyone hurt you while you were serving them?" He asked, pulling me into his arms as I got close enough. Nii-Sama! Careful! The makeup artists worked so hard on drawing on and sticking on the fake scars with makeup and what not. Don't rub it off!

"Oh~! He's so protective of his little sister! It's so cute~" a couple of Nii-Sama's guests squealed.

"I'm okay, Nii-Sama," I said with a close-eyed smile. "But I need to go serve the other guests and hosts, if you don't mind..."

"No~! Karino, stay with me~!" He pouted slightly, continuing his act as he held me tighter. The girls seemed to like this side of him as they squealed even more and hearts appeared in their eyes. My ears hurt. See, Author-Sama, this is what happens when Nii-Sama is too popular. The poor main character's eardrums are damaged. Can't you stop them, almightly Author-Sama?

"Nii-Sama..." I huffed while patting his arm that was wrapped around me. "Kyoya-Senpai will get mad if you stop me." He quickly let go with a sheepish smile on his face.

"Okay. Okay. Go do your job!" Nii-Sama smiled and pushed me lightly towards the cart. The girls around him laughed as I waved a goodbye towards his table and moved on to Honey-Senpai's area. Ah, the other main character of this fanfiction. I'm glad it's Honey-Senpai. Even without the powers of Author-Sama and the will of the romance anime and fanfiction, Honey-Senpai was so adorable.

He, Mori-Senpai, and Haru-Chan were sitting down on a mat beneath the beautiful trees. Honey-Senpai was making some kind of tea, grounding it up himself. I left the cart on the side away from the people before I quietly sat down by Haru-Chan.

"Haru-chan, Haru-chan, what's going on?" I asked her while tugging lightly on her sleeve. Curse my short height. I'm in a maid uniform aren't I? Don't they wear heels in all the animes? Author-Sama, where are my six inch heels to be taller?

"I'm debating whether or not to tell Honey-Senpai he should stop...." She quietly told me. I looked over at him and stared as he continued to stir it for a long period of time.

Suddenly, Mori-Senpai, who was sitting by Honey-Senpai, said "Mitsukuni, you over did it." His voice was, as always, surprisingly deep, but I wasn't focused on that at the moment. Honey-Senpai looked shocked at the fact that he had done it wrong. He stared at his small amount of tea in the bowl and tears formed in his eyes. I quickly jumped up and wrapped Honey-Senpai in a hug, one that he returned and buried his head into my side since he was sitting and I was standing. I gotta comfort my costar!

"Honey! I'll take it!" One of his guests exclaimed in an attempt to cheer him up. "It looks so yummy!" She quickly gulped down the little bits of tea left in the bowl.

"It's just the right amount for both of us. Any more would be too much!" The second guest said quickly, consoling the adorable little Lolita that I currently was hugging tightly. "How did you know? You never cease to amaze me!" I giggled in agreement. Yup! That's Honey-Senpai. My costar is so popular.

He brightened and lifted his head from my side, though he didn't let his arms leave my waist. I patted his head and smiled as I sat down next to him, letting him rest his head on my shoulder while he smiled happily at the guests' praise.

After a short break, I was going around serving the guests once again. Most guests liked my little sister character as I went around, complimenting the pretty 'Onee-Samas' and serving them tea. Ne, Author-Sama, can I stop calling them 'Onee-Sama' yet? I'm not even hosting... Looking around, I saw Haru-chan and Tamaki-Senpai chatting, but I was too far away to hear anything. I could only guess that Tamaki-Senpai was being his flamboyant self again. I giggled lightly as I watched Haru-chan's face turn into one of annoyance.

Suddenly, I was pulled away by Hika-chan and Kao-chan. They dragged me to Haru-chan and hooked their arms around her as well, before they started questioning us about our classes.

"So, Haruhi, Karino, have you decided your elective courses for this term?" They asked in unison.

"How about conversational French?" Kao-chan asked.

"I don't know..." Haru-chan wasn't that interested.

"Uh. I already know French... I commented.

"Ah, yes, I forgot to mention that." Kyoya-Senpai butted in. "The two Makoto siblings seem to have already mastered many languages, one of which is French. They're quite the prodigies, truly worth the graduation offer."

Kyoya-Senpai... forgot? The shadow king, he who is all knowing of everything related to this anime series... forgot?

"I think the four of us should take it together." Hika-chan commented. "It makes perfect sense. Karino can help us study." Sorry, Hika-Chan, Kao-Chan, but Author-Sama doesn't know French, so therefore I don't know French.

"We are in the same class." Hika-chan and Kao-chan turned back and gave Tamaki-Senpai an evil smile, sending him to his emo... Tree? Let's say emo tree since it really isn't a corner.

I slightly heard Tamaki-Senpai and Kyoya-Senpai having a conversation on the side, but was too focused on the subject of electives going through my mind to focus on it. What is the point of selecting elective classes if they're not even shown in the anime? Plus, if we all learn French, Tamaki-Senpai is going to insist we have conversations with him in French. Ne, Author-Sama, can you somehow take me out of electives with your author-powers? It's not really necessary is it? After all, this whole scene was just a set up for Tamaki to go in a rage about Haruhi's time with the twins wasn't it?

From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Tamaki-Senpai was struck by a lightning bolt after Kyoya-Senpai called him 'Daddy.' Ah, I remember the scene of Kyoya-Senpai flubbing up the 'Daddy' and burst in laughter afterwards. I glanced over and saw Kyoya-Senpai giving Tamaki-Senpai a lecture, completed with a white board and graphs. One graph showed the twins' time spent with Haru-chan and I while the other showed the time Tamaki-Senpai spent with us.

"Listen, Haruhi, Karino! I want you guys to stop hanging out with those shady twins from now on!" He cried as he grasped Haruhi's shoulder and glanced at me every so often. The twins protested at his statement of them being 'shady twins.'

Laughing, I patted Haruhi on the back before slipping away to Honey-Senpai and hanging out with them instead. All I know from that is that Tamaki made a big fuss over Haruhi's gender and wanting her the become a girl again. Tamaki-Senpai sure was making a big deal about her time with the twins. He needn't worry. After all, this is a fanfiction based off of the anime where he and Haruhi are the main love interests. Smiling, I rested my head on Honey-Senpai's shoulder, who simply glanced at me and smiled at me before resting his head on mine and continuing his conversation with the girls. I heard them comment how adorable we were, but I wasn't too focused. I just sort of want cake right now...

"So do it!" Tamaki-Senpai yelled at Haru-Chan, catching my attention. "Change back, now! Change, right now!"

"You don't have to rush things. She's going to be found out soon enough." Hika-chan stated from the side, Kao-chan's and his head bobbing side to side like a pair of bobble-heads.

"Physical exams are the day after tomorrow," Kao-chan explained further after this brother.

"That's right, I forgot all about it." Kyoya-Senpai stated. I jokingly gasped. The Shadow King forgetting about something. This is a moment to be remembered! Readers! As the main character of this story, I order you to take note of this!

"Our shadow king, the brains behind this whole operation, forgot?I suppose there's a first for everything!" Nii-Sama said with amusement clear in his tone. In return, he got a glare from Kyoya-Senpai. Good thing I didn't say it aloud. Kyoya-Senpai can't kill the main character of this fanfiction or it's over! That Death Note of his better not be real...

"Then that means..." Haru-chan started, "there's no doubt. They're going to know... I'm really a girl." She stated without much emotion. Everyone in the host club turned white and gasped.

~~~

All of us had changed back into our school uniforms.

Once I finished dressing, I made my way to sit with honey-Senapi to eat cake. He gave me permission, so while Nii-Sama was preoccupied with changing back into his uniform, I took advantage of it.By the time Nii-Sama got out, I was already happily munching on cake. Nii-Sama glared at me, knowing that I had planned it all out and I gave him an innocent smile in return. Ah, the powers of anime cake. If only I could eat all this cake without gaining weight and getting a hundred cavities...

Meanwhile, Tamaki-Senpai was sitting a chair by the window, clearly fantasizing about Haru-chan. I giggled. It's so obvious that he likes her. It seemed like he was in denial of his feelings, calling Haru-Chan his daughter and whatnot. I ship them; even if they aren't the main characters of this fanfiction, they are the main characters of the anime and manga this fanfiction is based off of. Of course we have to give them some screen time.

"He must be having a great daydream!" Honey-Senpai commented from beside me.

"He's kinda creeping me out..." Hika-chan stated right after Honey-Senpai. Tamaki-heard and gave Hika-chan a glare.

"Envious, Hikaru? This is all part of my strategy. While you wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I've foreseen the outcome of this charade." He smiled at all of us before sighing loudly.

"This anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are the main characters! So that means we are love interests!" he claimed with confidence. I froze with the cake half way to my mouth. Tamaki-Senpai knows too much about the anime!!

"Yea? Then what are we?" The twins asked. Yea... I'm sort of curious too.

"You boys, are the homosexual supporting cast." Well, that's not nice...

"Me too, Tamaki-Senpai?" I asked him with a pout as I hopped over with Honey-Senpai to join the rest of the group by Tamaki-Senpai.

"Oh, of course not you!" He exclaimed while attacking me with a hug. I expected it and meticulously hid the pain of his attack. "You can be the adorable side character that's there for cuteness!"

Wrong guess!

"Then Honey-Senpai too!" I stated before I pulled Honey-Senpai towards me and slightly away from the other group. Mori-Senpai, of course, followed Honey-Senpai over. Tamaki-Senpai quickly pulled Mori-Senpai back towards the other boys.

"Ah! But Tamaki-Senpai! Now that Honey-Senpai and I are both on the same side, we have to tell you," I giggled slightly and tilted my head to the right cutely.

"That's right! You and Haru-chan might be the main characters of the anime, but this is a fanfic Tama-chan," Honey-Senpai explained. Wait... Honey-Senpai also is breaking the fourth wall?! I looked over at him, only to have him smile back at me innocently. Author-Sama! Why does Honey-Senpai know?! Does he know the two of us are the main love interests?!

Tamaki-Senpai gave us a confused look, stating that he was the main character, the princely character.

"Tamaki, essentially, they're saying they're the main characters. You got your screen time in the 25 episode anime, and the manga. The author made this fanfiction based around Honey-Senpai and Karino." Kyoya-Senpai informed him. Honey-Senpai nodded his head in agreement. Now Kyoya-Senpai too?! I thought I was the only one... Now I'm embarrassed. Can't you give me a heads up next time, Author-Sama. I've been working hard to conceal it from them too...

He shook his head as if he understood, and then proceeded to separate Mitsu-senpai and I on one side together, him on another side, and the rest on a third side. Grabbing a stick, he somehow drew a line on the club room floor, separating him from the rest of us. He then drew a line that separated Honey-Senpai and I from everyone else.

"Please make sure that you don't step across this line."

I stared at the line before I walked around it and to the side that Tamaki-Senpai was standing on. He looked at me with a blank face before he picked me up and dropped me on the other side again. Well, I technically didn't step over the line.... I went around it. I remember that some of the readers say something about continuing to step around it if it were up to them in the last version of the book. So I stepped around it again, and he gave me a look that said 'stop.' I stepped around the line a third time and he went to the drastic measures of calling for a wall to be built between all of us. Granted, it never happened because Author-Sama can't let Tamaki do that. Otherwise, how would conversations continue through the walls? That and I mean, it would just mean another wall has to be broken. We can't have a fourth wall, or else how can I communicate with the readers and Author-Sama?

"Karino, you have your fanfiction side of the line. This is the side for the main character of the anime and the manga. You're simply part of the fanfiction." Tamaki motioned to the different sides of the lines he drew.

"You've gotta be kidding me..." Hika-chan and Kao-Chan stated with disgust clear in their voice.

"Hey, listen, boss." Hika-Chan started.

"I don't think you get it." Kao-Chan continued. Their voices and faces told me they were still ticked off about Tamaki-Senpai's words.

"If word gets out that Haru-chan is really a girl, the. She won't be able to be in the host club anymore!" Honey-Senpai concluded for the twins. Apparently, Tamaki-Senpai didn't think of this since he turned white and stiff like a statue. Ah! But of course, in the animes, the heroine usually doesn't get found out, and since this fanfiction is based on the anime, Haru-chan isn't going to get found out no matter what.

"Yea, disregarding her role as the main character of the anime and manga, and the requirement for that anime and manga that she stay in the host club, getting found out would be bad. The host club is for guys. Plus, the girls might feel lied to and be very upset, and then the readers will be VERY upset that the author didn't follow the original plotline of the anime even though she promised she would." I added to support their statements.

"But," Honey-Senpai continued cutely, "if Haru-chan started wearing girl's clothes, I bet she'd be even cuter than she is now!"

"Honey-Senpai, she can't though! If she reveals that she's a girl, who knows what all the readers would do. In the anime, she never revealed her gender to the school. If she does it now, it creates a whole different story line and the author isn't creative enough to change the plot so much!" Honey-senpai nodded, eyes wide in realization.

"She dressed like a girl when she was in middle school, right?" Hika-Chan asked Kyoya-Senpai. "She must've been pretty popular with all the boys.

"Yea." Kyoya-Senpai confirmed." According to my investigative report, someone would declare their undying love to her at least once a month. Of course, this has never been proven through video proof, but since I'm the Shadow King, everything I say must be true. It's very unbelievable that none of the readers would ask to confirm any of my knowledge and how I got it. I'm surprised that people in America haven't attempted to sue me for unwarranted searches and stalking yet. Oh, but for all the Americans out there don't get offended. The author of this story is in America too."

"Oh~ I see!" Kao-Chan stated with a devious tone in his words. "So the boss wouldn't even be able to get close to her."

"But we'd be able to because we're in class with her all day long." Hika-Chan continued to tease the boss.

"No way~!" Tamaki-senpai whined. "Ah, but I was the main character of the anime right? That means that Haruhi and I MUST end up together. We can be separated by walls and love triangles, but we will ultimately end up together! That is true love!" Hika-chan and Kao-chan rolled their eyes in disgust.

"What about you? Do you get many declarations of love? As the main character of the anime, I must know if the fanfiction characters are getting the same treatment," Tamaki-Senpai turned on me and shook me back and forth before wrapping me in his arms and petting me like he would a dog.

"That's not a nice thing to randomly ask someone..." I pouted as I pushed him away from me. Author-Sama, can you please not make Tamaki more clingy than he already is? Nii-Sama decided to answer his question for me while I try to convince author-Chan here to stop.

"Yea. Karino is really popular, actually. Even here. In our old schools, people would come confess at least once in every two weeks. And here, probably once a month still. I've had to chase many of them away. It's probably 'cause she's a prodigy and really adorable. Either that or because she's the main character and if they date her then the boys will get at least some screen time."

"No~!" Honey-Senpai whined while he disentangled his arm with mine, only to wrap both of them around me as he pulled me slightly away from the group, as if taking me away from the boys.

"Karino belongs to us and only us!" I laughed and reached up slightly to pat his hair as he buried his face slightly in my silver hair.

"I think you wanted to say she belongs to you and only you." Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan commented with evil smirks.

"What? No!" Nii-Sama cried out in protest. Meanwhile, Honey-Senpai blushed heavily.

"Karino and I are the main characters! That's why this is an OHSHC fanfiction! She can't be dating some unnamed character from the anime. That's ridiculous. It might as well be called the Random-School-with-a-Host-Club-that-Isn't-Even-Part-of-the-Main-Plot Fanfiction," Honey-Senpai argued back.

"Mou, Hika-Chan, Kao-Chan, don't tease Honey-Senpai. Plus, I said no to all of them. If any of those boys can surpass me in either education, martial arts or music, then I can consider it. Until someone does, I'm free as a bird! Besides, we all know a relationship with them wouldn't last anyways. They're not part of the main cast. "

Honey-Senpai seemed pleased with my answer since he patted me on the head and released me from the hug. Nii-Sama pulled me to him quickly, but gently, after I was released and glared slightly at Honey-Senpai. I slapped his hand lightly to get him to stop.

"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm so late," Haru chan stated as she walked in, thankfully taking the attention off of Honey-Senpai.

"Don't you worry Haruhi!" Tamaki-Senpai said as he teleported across to room to Haru-chan. I would've asked how he did that, but this was from the anime, so anything is possible.

"We're determined to keep your secret. No one will find out that you're really a girl during tomorrow's physical exams! So please! Promise you stay our beloved secret princess!" He cried out desperately.

"Sure." She replied simply. I giggled at her short reply. Haru-chan sure is funny.

"You know what? I think both of us would be a little peeved if we had to watch all the guys flirt with her." Hika-Chan stated off-handedly. Ho~oh? I think I sense a love triangle! But of course, if we followed the storyline, Hika-chan wouldn't win over Haruhi... Maybe if we were able to convince the author to deviate a little bit it could make things interesting.....

"Then that settles it!" Kao-Chan finished.

Then Tamaki-Senpai appeared with a board and a plan to conceal Haru-chan's gender. Sadly, he didn't give me a part to participate in the plan. He just told me to rest and eat cake. I guess I know how Honey-Senpai feels now... Author-Sama, don't be so lazy and give me a part in the operation, please!

Haru-chan, on the other hand, didn't seem very interested. So then the goal was to get her into the plan as well, which Mori-Senpai accomplished easily by bringing up Fancy Tuna. Ah. The wonders of food. Anyone can be lured with food, myself included. The entire club, excluding me, teased Haru-chan about not having eaten fancy tuna before. Even Nii-Sama joined in. Tamaki-Senpai also gave her a creepy smile, taking this chance to convince her to go with the plan. Well, that's not nice... I could always buy her fancy tuna myself.... And who said we couldn't keep the fancy tuna in the fridge. Animation gods don't make sense. So much good food probably got wasted....

But it managed to work and Haru-chan was now on board with the plan! So operation Conceal Haruhi's Gender was a go!

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