Roman x Emile
TW: panic attack, some kissing(nothing too intense), mentions of unhealthy relationship

"Emile, it's your turn," Roman called out to his boyfriend who was peacefully zoning out on the other side of the pool table. Sure, Emile looked adorable, but the winner was getting kisses. Roman, who was already winning, was looking forward to it. Emile shook out of his trance and smiled over at Roman with a giggle.

"Sorry babe, I was just thinking," Emile hit the white ball and missed his good one with a a small sigh, "I'm not very good at this, am I?" Roman chuckled and walked over to the new position, it was perfectly in line with his last ball.

"Not really, but it's okay. I'm still having fun." Roman hit his last ball into the furthest corner of the table with a smirk. "Now all I need is the eight ball, maybe then we could just ya know," he walked by Emile and playfully tapped the end of his stick to his calf, "sit down. Cuddle a bit?" Emile tried to hit the the white one into his ball in the center of the table, but instead, he made the white ball into one of the pockets on the other side. Emile groaned while Roman laughed, but Emile really didn't mind. All he could think about was the way Romans smile grew bigger the more that he laughed.

"Sounds great Ro." Roman took the ball and placed it in the perfect position.

"I know, it sounds really great." Roman won, and he did it quickly. Because all he could focus on was holding Emile in his arms and kissing his cheek(nothin dirty you pervs just cute cuddly stuff). "Oops, looks like I won." Emile giggled and put his stick on the rack neck to the table.

"Of course you did. I'm pretty sure we had an agreement too," Emile teased as he walked over and took the pole from Roman's hands. Roman lifted and eyebrow and smiled.

"I believe we did." Emile leaned the pole against the table and placed a gentle kiss to Roman's lip. He loved making Roman happy, but even though he was the one initiating it Emile felt everything in him tense up. It wasn't that he didn't like kissing. He definitely liked it once he calmed down. But he still was expecting something. He didn't want to-

"Babe? Is it ok if uh, do you wanna sit down?" Emile pushed his thoughts aside and smiled up at Roman.

"Of course." Roman's eyebrows drew together as he slowly lifted his hand and started rubbing circles on Emile's cheek with his thumb. Emile tried not to flinch away.

"Are you ok?" Emile nodded and smiled, not trusting his voice. "You look kinda pale love," Roman continued as he took a step closer. Emile forced himself to stand still. "And you're shaking." Emile smiled wider and pressed a kiss to Roman's neck. Roman forgot his worry as a tingly, tickling sensation ran down his spine. He backed up towards a couch in the corner and sat down, gently pulling Emile with him. It was too much. He could feel Roman's hand on his hip and pressed another kiss to his neck. He needed to forget what had happened. He needed to breath. Roman ran one hand through Emile's hair and kisses Emile's lips. Emile needed to forget. He needed to stop.

Emile, why are you stopping?

He cuddled in closer to Roman

Did I say we were done?

He ran his hand up and down Roman's arm and Roman sighed peacefully.

Come on Emile, stop being such a coward

Is it because you don't love me anymore?

What're you gonna do, tell someone?

"Emile? Em what's wrong," Roman asked when he felt Emile's shoulder tense up.

You're going to leave me aren't you?!

No, babe I won't

"I'm f-fine Roman.." Emile sat up and wrapped his arms around his torso. Roman instantly recognized the signs. This wasn't his first time comforting someone through a panic attack.

"Hey, it's ok to not be ok babe," Roman whispered as he placed a gentle hand on Emile's shoulder. "I just want to help you."

Lynn, I just wanna help you. Maybe you should talk to someone. I just want to help you

No! You want to leave me! If you wanted to help me you would just kiss me without retaliation!

"I shouldn't-I shouldn't b-be like this." When Emile leaned away from the touch, Roman let him. He knew not to push physical limits.

"Be like what?" Emile looked over at Roman and he was scared. His normally happy, goofy boyfriend looked exhausted and worn. Tired and hopeless. "Be like what babe?" Emile took a deep breath and looked away from Roman.

"It's sad."

"I can tell. But I still want you to tell me babe." Emile shook his head and chuckled sadly.

"I haven't even told my dad."  Roman shook his head too and placed his hand on Emile. He could feel him tense, but he stayed still.

"Do you want to talk to my dad?"

///

"Hey kiddos! How was pool," Patton chirped as he started placing balls of cookie dough on a tray. "Who won?"

"Dad?"

"Roman, we don't have to do this," Emile whispered as he backed towards the door. "Let's just go." Patton wiped his hands clean on a towel and walked over towards Emile and Roman.

"What's goin on here kiddos," he questioned, concern lacing his voice. Roman grabbed Emile's hand and gave it a light squeeze, and Emile remembered to breath deeply.

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk to me Mr. Sanders. I know you did in the past and..and it really helped so." Emile stopped talking and looked down at the ground.

"Of course kiddo..is Roman coming with us?"

"That's up to him." Patton looked at Roman and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Of course." Together, they walked upstairs in silence, past Patton's room and down the hall to a small office.

Books and spare papers were scattered all over the small desk in the corner and Patton's face turned a light pick.

"So sorry for the clutter. But you can still sit down over there." Patton gestured to a small love seat and all three of them sat down. "Well Emile," Patton stretched his back and pulled out a pen and notepad so he could keep track of the conversation. Roman squeezed Emile's hand one more time and offered a brave smile.

"Whenever you're ready."

///

to be continued