TW: throw up, being ill, anxiety/panic attack

Virgil had already gotten sick, and it had been the worst twelve hours he has experienced in a long time. He had been so cold, nothing seemed to stop the chills running up and down his spine. And nothing, absolutely nothing would stay in his stomach. Even a couple days later he still felt weary around food; could still feel his stomach occasionally turn sour when he smelled what Remy was making for dinner.

But he was thankful. Remy so far seemed to have an immune system of steel. They had both worried that he would get it immediately after Virgil had it. But three days had gone by, and Remy still seemed to be in the clear.

Virgil rolled over, and stretched his arm towards Remy, but felt nothing. He grumbled and kept searching with his hand, running it up and down their warm sheet. He wasn't ready to open his eyes. Wasn't ready to leave their warm, comfortable bed. But he still didn't feel Remy as his hand slipped off the edge of their bed. "Babe?" He slowly sat up, and rubbed his eyes as goosebumps raised on his arms. He opened his eyes and glanced around their still dark bedroom, and he knew something was wrong.

He was always awake before Remy.

It was a miracle Remy even got out of bed sometimes.

But Remy was no where in sight. He wasn't in their bed, and the light to their bathroom was off.

"Remy," Virgil called out into the empty room, slowly getting out of their bed and slipping on a pair of sweatpants. "Rem, this isn't funny. Where are you?" He flicked on the bedside lamp and looked under the bed and in the closet, too tired to realize how ridiculous checking those spots would be. Remy was a 6 foot, 22 year old man; not a five year old.

Maybe he went to get a snack, Virgil thought as he opened their bathroom door, just to double check. He grabbed a sweatshirt off of his dresser, and shivered as he headed out toward the living room. Anxiety was swelling in his chest as he noticed that every light in the house was turned off. There was no sign of Remy in the kitchen connected to their living room.

"Remy!"

And that's when he noticed the light peaking out from under their laundry room door. He tip-toed over, breath catching in his throat as terrible scenarios raced through his mind.

Maybe someone was robbing us and Remy saw

What if he's talking to someone I didn't know about

What the hell is he doing in the laundry room

He took a deep breath to steady himself, and stared at the closed door, ready for the worst. Then he heard it.

The heart wrenching sound of someone you love deeply in pain. The sound he had heard himself make a few days before. This was far worse than anything his mind had thought of. There was nothing he could do to stop this. There was no way he could help. He just had to wait.

_________

"Baby," Remy whispered as he crawled back into their bed twenty minutes later. "Do you think you could get me some water." Virgil pressed his hand to Remy's forehead and frowned.

"You're burning up." Remy nodded and shivered as he pulled his sweater over his head. "When did you start feeling sick?" Remy shrugged and sighed as Virgil ran his hands through his sweaty hair. "I can get you water honey. Do you want cheerios or something? I think we might have-"

"Verge....Just water...Please," he whispered as he rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets up and over his head. Virgil could feel the tears fill his eyes as he pushed out of their bed. He didn't know why he was freaking out so much.

He wasn't scared of getting sick, he had just been sick. And he had never responded this way when Roman or his fathers had been sick. He just couldn't stop thinking about Remy; his thoughts were stuck in a rut, unable to move past the noise he had heard earlier that morning.

He shouldn't even be crying right now. Remy needed help and comfort; and he had been so strong and so supportive for him when he was sick. But he was crying. He was the one who looked like he needed comfort.

His hands were still shaking as he carried the water back to his room. But he had dried his face, and had gotten his breathing under control again. He felt like he could handle walking in there again, and that Remy would be none the wiser.

"I got your water baby," he whispered as he knelt down by their bed and removed the blankets from over his head. "Go ahead and try to drink most of this please."

Remy slowly opened his eyes and furrowed his brow. Virgil placed his hand under the small of his back, and gently helped push Remy up until he was sitting; apologizing as Remy let out a soft moan. They sat in silence as Remy sipped on the water, and Virgil knew he was staring. But he felt like if he took his eyes off of Remy something would go wrong. Even though he knew his gaze was not actually protecting his fiancé.

"Thank you," Remy muttered, as he handed back the glass and scooted back so he could rest on their headboard. "I appreciate it honey." Virgil nodded and placed the glass on Remy's nightstand; his hand had started to shake again.

"Maybe you should try to eat something baby," Virgil suggested as he tucked Remy back in. "I know it may sound bad but it won't hurt as bad when you need to-"

"Puke my guts out," Remy interrupted with a pained smirk and a short laugh. Virgil just nodded in response, before moving to the edge of the bed. "I know, but maybe not yet. I'm feeling a little bit better, so I'm hoping it's just a one and done deal." Virgil didn't have the heart to disagree with him.

"Why did you go out to the laundry room this morning Rem? We have a bathroom right here."

"I know, but I didn't want to wake you up, so I just used the sink in there."

"I wouldn't have been upset."

"I know....I've also just never been sick in front of you. And I'm a lot louder than I was this morning most of the time...So I was a little embarrassed to-" The color drained from Remy's face as he slid off the bed and pushed his way out of their bedroom and towards the laundry room down the hall.

"Remy! You don't need to do this honey," Virgil yelled as he chased his boyfriend down the hall. But the door was already closed, and he knew better than to barge in now. He would just have to wait.

So he sat on the couch, the shaking in his hands growing worse with every passing second. All he could see was his love bent over the sink, grabbing his stomach in pain, feeling the room tilt and sway around him as his body fought against itself.

Five minutes later, he heard it. Not just the normal sounds of someone throwing up, but yelling. Remy's screams filled the apartment as he threw up again, and again.

Virgil clasped his hands over his ears and started to cry as Remy's cries shook his hole being. It was the most heart breaking noise he had heard in his whole life. One he felt would follow him into his sleep, and keep him awake for years to come. He had never heard anything like it.

"Virgil? Honey, what's wrong," a voice called from far away, but Virgil couldn't focus; couldn't find the source. All he could feel was fear, and all he could think about was his Fiancés pain. "Virgil, please, I need your help...I need you to help me Verge...Please."

Virgil turned his head to the door, and his vision blurred around him. But he could see Remy, and he knew he had messed up.

"I'm sorry," he ran toward the laundry room, and placed a shaky hand under Remy's arm to help him to the bedroom. "I'm sorry, I'm here my love."

They slowly made their way to the bedroom; Remy's breath and Virgil's cries were the only sounds in the apartment.

"I'm going to get you some water and some crackers honey, you stay right here I'll-"

"Virgil."

"I'll be right back I promise."

"Virgil please." Virgil lowered Remy onto their bed and tucked him in tightly before kissing his forehead. "I'm going to be okay, Verge." Virgil forced a smile and gave him another kiss.

"I know you are..I'll be right back." Remy watched as his boyfriend leave, and sighed.

"I don't think you do," he whispered, rolling onto his side and closing his eyes. "I don't think you do."

AN: wow, 1516 words in two hours....not bad for a warm up....there will DEFINITELY be a part two with some fluffy ending

but please let me know if y'all have any ideas for stories you would like to see or any ideas for a second book (even if it is a different fandom)

thank you to those of you who read this even though i've been gone for so long :)