Trigger warning: self harm

If you think this chapter will trigger you in any way, skip the chapter.

I'm sorry
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Maddie's POV

I was sat up in my bed, tears flowing down my face. I stared down at my scar littered stomach, I felt sad and angry....
The voice in my head was saying, "they don't love you, you're just a waste of space.
You'll never be any good at anything"

I started scratching a blank spot on my stomach. I scratched that spot until it started to bleed, then I went to another spot and did the same thing. I scratched five spots until I couldn't take anymore.

I couldn't find my phone to listen to music, so I just stayed there and bled. I looked over at the clock and saw the time.

[4:20] a.m.

"'A' wouldn't be up, would they?" I whispered to myself.
I shrugged and got up, I kept my shirt up so that it wouldn't get blood on it and walked to the bathroom.

I cleaned my scratches with rubbing alcohol. It burned, but I really didn't care at the moment.
When I was finished, I changed into a pair of jeans and a different shirt. The blood had dried enough so it shouldn't stain the shirt.

I walked out of the house and across the street. Gerard, Frank, Ray and Mikey went on tour for a few months. I got to A's house and looked up at her window on the second floor.

I pondered on whether I should try and wake her up by throwing rocks at her window or if I should go back home.  "She wouldn't be up for another few hours, it summer break." I stated to myself.

I sighed, I could see the sun slowly comeing over the horizon. I walked down the street and around the block. I walked all the way to the woods that were at the end of the neighborhood.
I always liked coming here, I could listen to the birds and the rustle of the leaves in the wind.

I walked to a small clearing in the woods and sat down under a tree. I leaned back against it and closed my eyes. After a few minutes, I fell asleep.

---

I woke up to see Ace shaking me lightly.

"Maddie.... you're bleeding..." they said quietly and worriedly.

I looked down at my shirt and saw small blood stains. I frowned, I thought that it stopped. I sighed and looked up at Ace. She looked worried and almost scared.

"What time is it?" I croaked out.

They looked at their watch, "Almost five. we have been looking everywhere for you, Maddie"

"Why?" I tilted my head to the side a bit. Why would they be looking for a nobody like me?

"What do you mean 'why?' You are our friend, we didn't know-"

I cut her off, "You keep saying 'we', where is Carter?"

"He's coming, he stopped by his house for something, after he told me that you go into the woods to think. Well, in this case, sleep" she slightly laughed. "Why are you bleeding?"

"I-I...." I wanted to tell her, but the word wouldn't come out of my mouth.

I started to tear up. How do you tell your significant other that you self harmed, after being over a year clean?

I could tell they knew, they had that look of knowing.

"Maddie? Did you hurt yourself?" They sounded like they were going to cry.

I nodded, "I'm sor-"

"Don't be sorry" they said quickly and sat down beside me. "What's wrong?"