I woke up the next morning at 9:42, I was sweating like crazy but still quite sick. I dragged myself into the living room to clean up after last night. As I was fixing the pillows, I leaned over the garbage can by the couch, and puked again. I don't know why I was so sick, I got back into my bathroom and brushed my teeth, and pulled my robe on, tying it tightly around my waist. I sat on the couch, curled up and leaning against the arm, checking my phone.

Dad:
Morning Peanut...

Mom:
How did you sleep darling? We'll be home a little late.

Mija:
Okay, I slept fine.

I turned on Blackish, from our DVR and let myself slip into the episode, about halfway through my mind started to cloud a bit, and I knew what was happening, I felt my leg start to shake, then my arm, then I pulled my legs onto the couch, curling into a tight ball, and let the memory overtake me, terrified.

I was sitting home alone, 9 years old, and watching Hannah Montana on Disney Channel. My parents were out at a party, but should be home any minute, I stayed up late, even though I wasn't supposed to, because I missed them. Finally I heard the door open, along with my parents loud laughter.

"Mommy! Daddy!" I squealed and shot up fro the couch, I sprinted into the foyer of the house and jumped into my dads arms, I smelled alcohol on him, right before I felt myself fly off of him onto the stairs. I extended my arm, and felt it snap as I hit the ground, I screamed, clutching my arm to my chest.

"Oh you little crybaby, calm down." He laughed a bit, and kissed my mom.

"Dad, I think my arms broken." I whimpered, sitting on the stairs.

"Suck it up. Go to bed." He shoved me a little and pulled my mother upstairs behind me. I cried on the stairs for a little while before I trudged upstairs clutching my throbbing arm to my chest.

I didn't sleep that night. I sat up all night, trying to deal with the pulsing pain in my right arm. I heard my parents in the other room for about an hour.

I came to finally, sobbing on our couch, I had to sit there shaking for a minute before I could really move voluntarily. I grabbed my phone to check the time, 11:02. I was out for too long. I unlocked my phone and called my dad.

"Mija, everything okay? Are you okay?" He asked, picking up the phone, worried.

"I..." I hiccuped, "I had, I had a flashback." I whispered, "I'm scared."

"Oh gosh, sweetheart are you okay?"

"Mmhm." I nodded.

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"No, I needed to hear your voice, can you put mom on?"

"Of course." I heard him hand the phone off to my mother and then I heard her pick up.

"Hi baby, how ya holding up?" She asked, concerned.

"I'm okay." I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"No." I admitted, "I'm not. I'm afraid, I'm alone. Come home." I whimpered the last part.

"We'll be on the first flight we can get, we'll come home to you, okay? Hang in there, we should be there in like, two hours." She reassured me, "can you wait two hours?"

"Mmhm." I whimpered, "thank you Mom, thank you so much."

"Anything for you. I'll see you in two hours okay?"

"Okay."

"There ya go, hang in there. Bye. I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, hanging up the phone. I moved the humidifier out of my room, and cleaned the bathroom, I put the trash can back, then climbed back onto the couch, under the thick blanket. I let myself drift off to sleep, hugging myself tightly.

•••

"Mija?" My moms voice and hand on my waist woke me up, "sweetheart? You okay? We're home." I blinked a couple of times, and pushed myself up.

"Mom!" I smiled, and wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Hi Sweetie, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry I asked you to come home." I whispered, my voice coming out weak and slightly raspy.

"No, no darling, don't be sorry, you were freaked out, anyways, you sound sick, are you sick?" She asked, pressing a hand to my forehead, "oh yep, you're sick," she said, and I froze.

"I'm not sick, I just, I just napped under the blanket." I lied.

"Okay. Do you want to go get dinner tonight?" She asked, gently rubbing my shoulder.

"Mmhm." I nodded, and pulled my legs up to sit crossed legged on the couch. "Thanks."

"No problem, your dad should be home soon, he's picking Seb up." She kissed the top of my head, "I'm going to go put my suitcase in my room, then I'll come back."

She quickly dropped her suitcase off and then came back and sat next to me on the couch, she pulled me into her side, so that my head was resting on her shoulder.

"Okay, talk to me darling." She said, once I was comfortable on the couch. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I just blacked out, and it was a memory of, well, um, when I was 9, my dad shoved me off of him and broke my arm. They didn't do anything about it until the next day, and then they did take me to the hospital, and it was awful? They lied to the doctors, I had to lie to the doctors and I was in a cast for two months." I whispered

"Oh." She sighed, "I'm sorry." She gently kissed the top of my head.

"I love you." I whimpered softly, "so much, mom I love you so much." I snuggled softly into her side, I felt myself start to cry, then wiped the tear away, feeling kind of pathetic about crying.

"Oh, oh little one, I love you too, I really do." She said giving me a hug, "both me and your dad, we both love and adore you, okay? We missed you, we really did." I felt her hand gently stroke my uncombed hair.

"I'm home!" I looked up to see my dad walk in, holding Sebastian, "how're you doing Peanut?" He asked, coming around to the front of the couch.

"I'm fine." I whispered, then he kissed my forehead.

"Oh, honey, are you, you have, you have a fever, cutie I'm sorry."

"No! I'm not sick, I swear, I'm fine, I'm just warm under the blanket." I lied, squirming away from him a bit.

"Okay, sorry, you don't have to get defensive about it, you're just warm, sorry." He gave me a hug, and I relaxed into it. "Are you doing any better? What happened?" He asked.

"Bad memories." I admitted, "from the time I broke my arm when I was 9. My... My bio dad shoved me off of him, and, it's just a bad memory I'm sorry, I overreacted."

"No, don't be sorry, I'm sorry, I should've been there to help."

"No!" I protested, "I'm fine, I just overreacted."

"It just makes me sad to think that you had to have a flashback alone, I've always been there, I don't know if I'm any help, but, at least I'm there when you come to, so you know you're not alone."

"It's fine dad." I whispered. "Don't feel bad, I'm fine, I'm really fine." I moved a bit, laying down on the couch, "I'm gonna take a nap." I said, and drifted back to sleep.

•••

I woke up and my parents were watching Modern Family, happily. I didn't move, but I felt a familiar churning in my gut.I realized what was going to happen, I got up from the couch, and ran to the the kitchen, I yanked out the trash can and puked for what seemed like the hundredth time. I puked a couple times after that, until I was just sort of hacking, over the trash can.

"Sweetheart?" Lin asked, coming into the kitchen, where I was sitting, my legs curled under me, and I was holding onto the trash, "you're sick, why, why'd you lie?"

"I'm sorry." I whispered, "I'm really sorry." I started to cry, and returned the trash to under the sink, I still sat on the kitchen floor, hugging my knees.

"No. No, Peanut, don't be sorry," he bent down and hugged me, my limpish body moving into his arms, "just, why? I'm not upset, but, it doesn't make sense, why would you lie about that?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me." I whispered.

"Oh. Well, sorry, but, are you okay?" He pressed a hand to my head, then cheeks, "I'm serious, are you okay? Have you been throwing up?"

"Mmhm." I whimpered and nodded.

"Okay, well, into bed with you little one." He scooped me up off of the ground and walked me into my room, pulling my blankets over me, and making sure I was comfortable. "Get rest, okay? Close your eyes, snuggle into the blankets, get some rest."

"Love you." I whispered, and closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead then left my room, I heard him outside of my door, on the phone.

"Hi dad," I heard him say, and I bite my lip nervously, "so, A's sick, she was throwing up, was she sick when you came over?" He asked, and waited a few seconds, "why didn't you tell me? She's my kid, I should know!" I immediately felt bad, then he said, "why? I would have! I would have come back!" He added, and I sighed, I ruined their night away. They hadn't had any time to themselves since I was adopted, and once again I managed to screw it up. I buried my head into my pillows, and softly cried, I didn't know what it was but, I was sad, and I cried myself to sleep.

•••

Thanks for reading!

- Abi