I stood there frozen so scared to say anything. So I was standing there like an idiot and Garret was sipping on his Starbucks. 

"Are you okay?" He asked after a minute of silence.

Then it hit me, I had no idea what to say. Nothing to say because all I wanted to say was, 'Will you adopt me' I wanted to get back to where I was before. I couldn't, all my built up anxiety started slowly seeping out.

It started with tears and me trying to not make a big scene so I just said, "nevermind," Looking down walking away. But as soon as I turned away, I covered my mouth to try and stifle my sobs that now started to come out. I didn't know if he noticed or not but I walked the other direction so I didn't end up going the same way Garret did.

I hid behind an abandoned building close to Starbucks, sobbing for a good few minutes mad at myself for doing that. "I'm such an idiot," I mumbled to myself.

"No your not," I heard Garret's voice say.

I froze, 'Did he just follow a crying fan?' I thought.

"It's dirty here, lets at least going somewhere else to be sad," Garret tried to joke.

'What the hell!'

I didn't say anything. I was currently now silently having a complete panic attack. I could feel my heart start to beat rapidly hearting my chest so much, I could barely get a breath in much less out, and I was starting to get extremely sweaty which is unusual for me. I was shaking slightly hard for anyone to notice unless they were looking at me to see if I was shaking, I felt like I was going to pass out and my hand losing the real sense of feeling starting to tingle  as though pin and needles were dulled and truly couldn't do any harm but still caused my hands to feel weird.

Garret could notice the onset of the panic attack but didn't know what it was and tried to be helpful but couldn't since he had dealt with this before. But not wanting to be rude he stayed with me until I came back to reality completely.

Since he did that I felt better but saying, "Will you adopt me," Isn't easy to say.

"You deserve so much better than the streets," Then I realized I had accidentally whispered out the question and had indirectly gotten an answer.

(I literally started crying writing the last part guys. Because panic attacks are really shitty and I've had three and they have no rhyme or reason but anxiety attacks do but like I kinda just mixed the two  because they have similar but not completely but honestly when finishing typing made me remember how shit the panic attacks were and literally one time it happened in front of my mom, (she saw me had one before), my dad, and sister. MY DAD SAID I WAS ACTING CHILDISH AND THAT WAS LITERALLY WHAT GOT ME CRYING BECAUSE I DID'T GET THAT SUPPORT FROM MY MOM OR MY FRIEND (i had my other one in front of them) AND IT SUCKED SO MUCH BUT YEAH IT"S VERY STRESSFUL TO REMEMBER BUT HOPE MY PAIN WAS WORTH IT. ANYWAY merci.)