"I want to become a fan."

"Huh?" Konata was sure she didn't hear right.

The heat waves were vibrating into the house and struggling against the drawn curtains. The cozy living room of Konata's house was dim and the sunlight made the curtains' blue fabric glow, creating an almost ocean-like appearance. There were indeed fans blowing from every angle of the space but they were fighting a losing battle against the treacherous desert heat.

Suzume was sitting at the coffee table with her upper half laid on the top, her chin resting there as well in a position where she could be face to face with a fan. Her eyes were closed and Konata almost thought what she heard was sleep talk before Suzume opened her eyes to prove her wrong.

The girl's eyes glazed over as she continued her train of thought.

"Must be nice, being a fan. Especially because we live in the desert, people want fans so much they end up a necessity. In each household, there's either a fan for each family member or for each room or both. If someone stole even a single fan, they'd probably notice. It's not like being an umbrella. Nobody needs an umbrella. Umbrellas are useless in the desert. That's why I want to be a fan. Must be nice, being a fan. Going round, round, round, and round. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..."

"Suzume-chan." Konata's eye twitched. "Have you been skipping your hibernation?"

Bam! and Suzume was on her feet. "Please don't call it that."

Konata's hand shot to her mouth when she comprehended her mistake. "I apologize. Just out of habit..." She silently cursed herself. How was she supposed to explain that one?

But, fortunately, Suzume was too sleep deprived and drunk on her emotions to grasp what Konata let slip and the girl excused herself from the room to wobble unsteadily out of the house.

Suzume plopped herself down on the ground with her back to the wall of Konata's home and rested her head on her raised knees.

She was nauseatingly lightheaded, her body felt cold compared to the rigid heat compressed around her.  She was so irritated and she didn't know why.

She wanted to sleep...

A wet nose pressed against her skin and hot pants hung in the air. The dog whined and licked her playfully. It nudged at her hand, trying to make her pet it.

Suzume clicked her tongue and roared, "Leave me alone!"

The stray dog yelped and scampered away. Realization at what she's done crept into Suzume and her eyes flew open, jumping to her feet and craning her neck in the general direction the canine fled, searching. Seeing no sign of it, shame made her drop back on the step and claw her hands through her hair, weeping and whispering.

"I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...!"

Why was she like this?

. . .

Konata found Suzume back inside the kitchen in a daze after night fell. The old lady lowered herself silently in the seat opposite the girl and waited.

"Do you know a way to stop thinking?" Suzume asked through her teeth. "Make it go away."

"You can tell me what you're thinking," Konata offered. "Then we can share the burden."

She could tell Suzume was hesitating but her frustration won over.

"Should I have accepted Kankuro's hand in that alley? Was this all for the better?" Her eyes went out of focus and her fingers rubbed fanatically at the surface of her cup of water. "Would this have been easier if I wasn't what I am?"

"It's no use, it's no use." Suzume shook her head, her mouth twisting. "Saying it out loud makes it worse."

"Keep going," Konata coaxed.

Suzume's face paled and she looked like she was about to vomit; and she did, "I'm weak, I'm weak, I'm weak. I can't last a day in their world. If I can't protect myself, I can't be with them. If any of them die because of me I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. But if I leave, I don't think I'll ever be happy again. But that's so selfish of me, it's disgusting. It's like I'm risking their lives just so I could be happy. And I don't know what to do, it's so hard to—"

Wrinkled, veteran hands surrounded hers around the cup and held fast, cutting off Suzume's rambling. Konata's hands gave a comforting squeeze.

She released a shaky exhale. "Aa~ah... I'm trapped."

_ _ _

Twice. This was the second time Suzume's run away from home only to end up at Konata baa-san's. Of course Temari knew where her little sister was, she's Temari.

She expected this would happen and previously installed protection seals around the building with the old lady's permission. But there's no way to tell if Suzume would also leave the perimeter of the property, then there'd be nothing protecting her. She should've put a seal on her sister too, dammit!

"Wow, it's true."

Temari whipped around to glower at Kankuro who was sitting on the couch. "What?"

"Your nose." Kankuro pointed at his own nose. "It's crinkled."

She noticed the strain on her face and slowly relaxed her nose. "Didn't notice."

"You tease Gaara about having a sister complex but I think you've contracted the more serious malady," Kankuro wiggled his eyebrows cheekily.

She scowled. "You tease him too and don't pretend you're not itching to run over to Konata baa-san's and drag Suzume back here."

"But I'm not going to," her brother stated proudly. "Isn't my resolve impressive?"

Temari scoffed. "Yeah, yeah."

Gaara arrived in the living room.

"Yo," Kankuro greeted. "Finished the report?"

"Yes." Gaara sat down in the armchair. "Although, I could've finished it earlier if you hadn't spilled ink on it."

"Sorry." Kankuro smiled meekly.

The sound of the back door opening and closing.

"I'm home," called a familiar voice.

The three of them all froze and they stared at each other and watched as their expressions spread into disbelief.

They all rushed the door and spilled into the mudroom where Suzume was seated taking off her shoes and neatly placing them next to the rest.

She stood and slipped her feet into her house slippers. She looked up at them staring at her. "Is there something on my face?"

"Don't just walk in through the front door so casually, you runaway!" Temari and Kankuro bellowed.

Suzume blinked and tilted her head questioningly. "Then should I do it dramatically?"

Temari sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She jerked her head toward the rest of the house. "Tatami mats?"

Suzume nodded.

The four of them sat in a circle in the middle of the sparring room and the sun setting outside painted a golden varnish around them. The shinobi sat expectantly, anxious to hear what Suzume decided. Suzume sat resolutely and stiffly.

"I did research while I was gone," she began, "I can be something else I'm better suited for. I can work as a civilian doctor, teacher, or manage a business. Better than that I can be a codebreaker for the shinobi, or researcher, or hawk caretaker—which is a pretty good idea, actually." Suzume took in a deep breath and her eyes grew tired. "But, as I was looking through all of these alternatives it just felt more and more like running away.

"There are strategic retreats, but a retreat isn't an option. If I retreat, I'll lose, and this isn't a battle I can afford to lose.

"So, that's why I'm going to stay at Konata baa-sama's place," she stood rigidly, "until I'm strong enough to stand beside you."

The three of them opened their mouths to speak but Suzume talked over them. "But in order to do that I need to train and to train efficiently I need first-rate teachers, right?"

Temari was the first one to get the implication and she let loose her laughter. Suzume went pink-faced while the boys caught on. Kankuro beamed at her and Gaara gave her a proud look.

She bowed down, partly to hide her flush. "Please look after me, senseis!"