Unedited
* * *

"What do you mean there's been an accident?"

"I mean exactly what I say, Mr. Ackerman," says the woman at the end of the line.

I could feel my heart quicken at an uneven pace as I slowly stood from my unmade bed and walked over to the bathroom to quiet the noise I was making. I did not want to awaken my sleeping boyfriend.

It was nearly twelve and I was about to turn over for the night when I received an unknown caller from my mother's phone. The woman identified herself as nurse Historia, a nurse at Trost Hospital, just a few miles from Sina University.

Historia soon explained to me that my mother had been in a car crash just a few hours ago, but was now recovering. She also explained that there was a companion with her, but she wouldn't give me any details on who it was. She said that it was my mother's job to explain further.

"Let me speak with her," I order in a slightly harsh tone, but I quickly add, "Please."

There was static at the end of the line as the phone was pressed against Historia's chest in order to muffle the sounds of their voices. My mother was soon handed her phone, her machines creating soft beeps in the background as she silence sunk in.

We sat there in the deep silence. I didn't rush her to speak, even though I was eager to have my questions answered. I bit my tongue as I waited for my mother's explanation, my heart now in slow, heavy beats.

"Buddy is dying."

It came so naturally from her lips, as if she were practicing the line over and over again. There was still some strain in her voice, the hitching of her breath when she finally spoke; but it was still so natural as if she knew it would have come down to this.

I wasn't prepared for it. My body automatically shut down from the sudden shock. My legs were stiff, voices inaudible, movement unavailable; but my heart quickens its pace once more, the whole thing was at the verge of thumping straight out of my chest.

How? How could this have happened?

It isn't his time, not yet. This isn't how things are supposed to be, he was healthy, perfectly normal when I left' but now he was about to leave me.

No.

I don't believe it. I can't believe it. I won't believe it.

"Levi, are you okay? Answer me," my mother's voice strains from the other end of the call.

I want to scream, but all that escapes my lips were inaudible wheezes as my breath hitches. Eren isn't awake, he is sound asleep in his separate bed; but right now, at this very moment, I need him.

My mother calls my name again, telling me to calm down; but I can't calm down. I just can't.

I swallow hard, but the lump in my throat is still there. I wheeze, trying to catch a simple breath. "Where is he," I force the words to escape.

"Trost Animal Clinic."

"If it comes to it, I need to be the one to put him down."

* * *

Arriving at the clinic, all I could do was pace in the waiting room while Buddy went under the knife. He was going under extensive surgery to remove the glass shards from his sides and repair his organs that had been severely crushed on impact. It was a risky procedure, and I was warned that he would most likely give out from blood loss and his old age; but I knew Buddy, and Buddy was a strong dog, no, a strong friend.

I escaped the dorm without waking Eren. I haven't even changed out of my nightwear. I was exhausted, but I was also far from sleep. I had called Farlan moments ago to meet me here at Trost Animal Clinic. He arrived with Isabel at his side, and by the looks of it, I had interrupted something.

"I'm sorry," I immediately apologize to him.

"Don't worry; I didn't rip the package so nothing happened."

I was somewhat relieved to hear that he hadn't slept with her yet, but it was bound to happen someday, after all, it's been over half a year since they officially hooked up.

"Are you okay?" asks Isabel who wore one of Farlan's oversized hoodies to cover the fact she had nothing beneath it.

"Not really," I say truthfully, the words difficult to say, "But he's going to be okay, he's always okay..."

Isabel gave Farlan a look filled with concern for she noticed distress in my voice, knowing that I was unsure of the outcome. She knew I wouldn't be okay, and that if Buddy were to not make it, it would shatter me from the inside out.

"Mr. Ackerman, we need to speak to you," says the nurse as she peaks through the operation doors, and then she disappears again. The way she spoke didn't send any good vibes; they were interrupted by the horrid truth.

"Babe‒‒" Farlan takes out his wallet and hands Isabel a few dollars "‒—why don't you go to the convenience store and buy us something to drink and Levi some skittles?"

Isabel nods, taking the cash and leaving out the front door into the warm spring night.

Farlan heaves a sigh, opening his arms for me. It had been a while since I last embraced Farlan. I had almost forgotten the smell of his awful cologne that Isabel seemed to love. The last time I let Farlan hold me was when my mother underwent surgery for her heart. It had surly been a while.

But, here I am. Releasing streams of hot, messy tears. It was because of this moment that I didn't want to wake Eren, even though I needed him dearly.

I sobbed, releasing my emotions in one bundle of sorrow. Slowly, they fell one by one then in pairs of two down. Slowly, my heart shattered because I knew the truth now.

Buddy was going to die.

"Sshh‒ there, there. It's going to be okay."

"No it won't..." I say between heavy breaths filled with messy sobs. "There's nothing worse than losing your best friend, Farlan. It's like if I lost you, I would never be able to live with myself."

"But you haven't lost me, and you haven't lost Buddy, not yet."

* * *

I've never been inside an operation room before, especially an animal operation room. The nurses had managed to tuck away the messy utensils and blood before Farlan and I decided to enter the room. We were guided to the far back where Buddy was held for recovery, though I knew that there was a secret being kept from me.

The doctor that operated on Buddy was by the elevated platform where Buddy lie, connected to several machines that kept him alive.

My legs felt like jelly again, my head in a different dimension far from here. I was explained that he had suffered from eternal bleeding and that several ribs were fractured; but he was alive, alive and suffering.

"You have two options, Mr. Ackerman," says Doctor Ymir as she strolled to the other side of the platform, "you allow your pet to receive the six months of recovery he needs, or you put him down."

The last words were so easily said, so uncared for and untroubled. She knew that it was the best option, and she wanted me to choose it.

Farlan leans over Buddy, soothing his unkempt hair and cooing him with gentle words. I swallow hard, "What do you say I should do?"

"As a dog lover, I saw you keep him alive as long as you can; but logically, as a veterinarian, his heart can't take much more. If you were to keep him alive‒‒" she glances at Buddy with sorrowful eyes "‒‒you have two weeks with him."

Two weeks.

"Can I have a moment alone with him?" I ask aloud.

Farlan steps away, gazing at me with a gentle smile before following Yimr out of the room. I take in another breath; hesitant to release because I knew that time wouldn't stop for me, not even for a moment. I walk around the platform slowly, watching Buddy pant in a slow, steady rhythm. I let my lips curl into a quivering smile as I fought back the tears once more to only fail again. My breath is released in one, unattractive sob as my lips quiver in attempt to stay positive.

"Hey, Bud... how are you feeling? I'm not feeling so good, actually‒‒" I snort, shaking my head as I wiped away a few tears with my sleeve "‒‒I'm a mess."

Buddy whimpers, sensing my unhappiness. I never understood how dogs could do that– how they can sense how you're feeling without you saying a word. Buddy always knew when and what I was feeling before I could tell myself.

"I know, Buddy, I know... hey, it's going to be okay. Okay?" I stroke his head down to his side where I could feel the stitches trail along it. I nod, resting my hand right under his ear and softly scratching it‒‒his favorite spot. "You're going to a very nice place with fields of mom's daisies where you can run for miles and dig as deep as you want. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Not having to worry about mom scolding you for messing up her garden," I say with a laugh at the end.

"We won't be able to see each other for a while. You're going on a long trip, but don't worry. I'll see you again someday. I promise."

I purse my lips, the hot tears continuing to stream down my already stained cheeks. I let out a shaky sigh, my nose stuffy from the normal reactions to crying. I sniffle, wiping away the tears once more before leaning in to plant a kiss upon Buddy's head.

"Goodbye, old friend."

* * *

"Levi, please eat something," Isabel pleads from across the booth.

I purse my lips, swallowing my hunger away for I had lost my appetite. Farlan believed that having something to eat before heading back to the dorms would bring me some time to collect my thoughts; and that was exactly what I was trying to do.

"Levi, stop acting like a child and eat something," says Farlan, backing up his girlfriend.

"Excuse me, but who just lost their childhood best friend? Their lifelong companion? Their only pet that gave them peace of mind? Was it you? No, it was me, the guy that watched their dog slip away with their very own eyes," I blurt abruptly; and with that I push away the plate and storm out of the diner.

Farlan pursed his lips, lightly biting on the bottom one, and shook his head. He rubs his temples as Isabel stood from the booth saying, "I'll talk to him."

I was found out front, my hands shoved inside my pockets as I stared at my cellphone where Buddy was ironically the lock screen. I didn't cry anymore, I couldn't force myself to do it. I had almost forgotten what it was like to cry, to let out my feelings in such a physical way. It felt nice, but weak at the same time.

"Hey," says Isabel as she peers over my shoulder.

"Hey," I return, slipping my cellphone into my pocket. "I'm sorry I yelled at your boyfriend."

"It's not your fault, things happen."

I shrug, kicking the ground with no motivation to do so. I kick it again, stomping once before releasing an exaggerated breath into the damp, early morning air. I was angry now, the sadness still there, but coated with an unknown frustration.

"It's just‒ it wasn't supposed to happen, not this way. It wasn't his time to go‒‒" I kick the speed limit sign out of anger "‒‒Ugh, why doesn't anything ever go my way! I did everything right, I went by the book! I got good grades, a scholarship, a relationship, I am doing everything right and yet nothing goes the way I want it to go! Haven't I done enough to have one good day? Just one?"

"Levi, calm‒‒"

"I dedicated my life to making my mother proud, to following my dreams, to being someone important, and here I am: stuck at the bottom of the well with no one to understand me."

"Levi‒‒ listen to me for one minute!" Isabel clenches onto my arms, gripping my sweater tightly and forcing me to face her. "Listen to me," she says again, pause between each word. "Your life is great, you have mother still, a paid for education, a best friend that cares about you, a boyfriend to support you, and loving friends that only want the best for you. What more do you want?" her voice was strained, her words hiding more than just meaning, they held back her past, her own truths that not even Farlan knew.

"Levi‒ things aren't always going to go your way, you have to give into that and admit to yourself that you have more than you could ask for. You need to see that you are not as alone as you think you are, and that no matter what happens, you can overcome it.

Things happen, Levi. People disappear, crimes are committed, and people die, pets die. You can't change what happens, but you can make up for what happens by not letting it overcome you.

Farlan is in there, Levi. He is in there trying to make you feel better, and yelling at him doesn't help neither of you. Now let's go inside and have something to eat, we have class in the morning."

And with that, Isabel lets go of my arms, stepping away solely with a forced smile, a smile that could change the world. She leaves for the shelter of the diner as the raindrops of an early morning shower begin to trickle from the dark skies.

I stare up into the endless void of the early morning, the stars still barely visible. Then I see it, deep in the sky are the stars of a Canis Major, the "Great Dog". I smile bit, shaking my head.

"Thank you."

* * *

Author's Note:

Happy birthday to me update! 

Yeah, it's my birthday today (July 10th) (go cancer babies!)

I hope this wasn't too sad. Don't worry, the story is almost over, I won't torture you forever.

I hope you liked the chapter. 

Quick note: i entered my story in the wattys 2017, but i have little to no chance of winning an award ^^;; at least i'm giving it a shot, right?

anyways, i'll go now :)

Until next time~!

Vote, comment, and sell your gay soul to satan~~ (just kidding cx)

2,419 words