Aurelia Winter

Sometimes I wonder why I even existed in this world. Like, why me? What if I didn't exist at all and remained unknown?

"Nurse Solar? Are you listening?" I blinked twice and realized I'm here at work. Masama na ang tingin sa akin ng Head Nurse.

"Yes po." Tumango ako at ngumiti. Pinagpatuloy niya lang ang sinasabi kaya nakinig na lang ako.

But as life goes by, I realized my purpose of existence. That is to be a good sister to my brother and a good daughter to my parents. Existing in this world is already a point of life and to better enjoy it, one must try to be happy and do things to fulfill the emotional and physical necessities.

“Nurse Solar, paki check ang chart ni Bed 13,” one of the doctors asked.

I am working as a nurse here at a certain public hospital. Since I was in high school, I am already determined to work in a medical field. At first, I wanted to become a doctor, but judging our family's financial state made me stop dreaming that big.

I didn't rebel. I didn't get mad. I tried to understand every bit of our situation and continued being contented of what I have. Pero ngayong nurse na ako, at least, malapit na rin ito sa pagiging doctor.

"Masakit ba 'yan?" A patient lying on the hospital bed asked me.

I chuckled and held his hand. "Hindi naman. Parang kagat lang ng tigre."

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at saka inilayo sa akin ang kamay. Naramdaman ko ang panginginig niya dulot ng sinabi ko.

"Ate naman..." pamamaktol niya at nagpa-awa sa akin.

I looked at him sharply and crossed my arms. He pouted and bowed his head when he realized I'm getting mad.

"Ano ba kasi iyang ginawa mo at puro pasa iyang nasa mukha mo? Ang tanda-tanda mo na pero nakikipagrambulan ka pa rin," I mumbled sharply.

"E, kasi..." Napakamot siya ng ulo at hindi na itinuloy ang sinasabi.

I gently grabbed his hand and started performing the cannulation. Napasigaw siya nang hindi inaasahang ituturok ko na iyong syringe.

"Sa bugbugan hindi takot, pero kapag sa injection parang bakla," sabi ko kaya umalma siya.

"Huwag mo akong isusumbong kay Mommy..." he begged when I treated his wounds.

I rolled my eyes at him. It's Marcus being Marcus again.

Nang matapos ay iniligpit ko na iyong kit na ginamit ko. "Basta siguraduhin mong hinding-hindi ko na makikita iyang pagmumukha mo rito." Nagtaas ako ng kilay.

Tumango siya ng ilang beses. May kinuha siya mula sa kaniyang bag kaya nagtaka ako. He then handed me a piece of small paper.

"Ate Lia, sorry na. Huwag ka na magalit, please..." He hugged me but I was fast to resist him. He can't just do that. Marami akong hinahawakang pasyente na may iba't-ibang sakit. "Admission pass iyan para sa isang art exhibition sa Flicks Museum. Ayayain ko sana iyong nililigawan ko pero ni-reject ako," pagpapatuloy niya, may halong ka-bitteran ang boses.

I was about to laugh at him when I saw his face filled with agony, I stopped.

When the doctor said he can now go, I accompanied him outside and paid his taxi ride. Nang maka-alis na siya nang tuluyan, pinagmasdan ko ang binigay niya sa akin. Napangiti ako at inisip kung paano ko ito magagamit.

Pagkatapos ng shift ko sa hospital ay umuwi na ako agad sa aking apartment. Because of tiredness, my eyes began to close and I immediately dozed off after lying on my bed.

WEARING A PAIR of boots and a thick pink jacket, my eyes wandered around outside the window. My lips formed a thin line as I saw snow started falling from above.

"Anak, classes for kindergarten are suspended for today. Halika, kumain ka muna ng sopas na niluto ni Yaya Meng." Mommy held my shoulder and we went together to the kitchen. Hindi na ako nagsalita at nagpatianod na lang sa kaniyang paghila.

It's snowing hard so they decided to cancel school.

"Mommy... cold," I said while pouting. I looked at my mother who is busy preparing my food.

She went to me and offered a hug. Pinaupo niya ako sa kaniyang kandungan habang binibigyan ako ng mga halik sa noo. Maya-maya ay may narinig akong doorbell. I got so excited since I expected that it will be Veles, my friend here in Canada. At hindi nga ako nagkamali nang makita ko siya matapos bumukas ang pinto. He is with her mother, Tita Jenny.

Bumati ako sa kanilang dalawa at ganoon rin ang ginawa nila. Nagmano ako kay Tita Jenny at nginitian naman si Veles.

"Ang laki mo na, Winter. How old are you again?" she asked.

"Five years old po!" I said with an excited tone.

She glanced at mommy and then asked me again, "Malapit nang manganak ang Mommy mo. Are you excited to meet your baby brother?"

Tumango ako. As of now, my mother is pregnant. Noong una ay naiinis ako kasi natatakot akong mahati ang atensyon ng mga magulang ko sa akin. But later on, they told me that's not gonna happen and they will treat us both fairly. After that, my worries began to vanish.

"Mom, stop asking her questions. Maglalaro pa kami. Let's go, Winter." Hinila ako ni Veles at pumunta na kami sa playground ng kwarto ko.

NAPAMULAT AKO AGAD ng mata at nagising dahil sa tunog ng alarm clock. It was just a dream!

Sa pagkaka-alala ko ay ipinanganak ako at tumira kami sa Canada noon pero hindi ko alam na nagkaroon pala ako ng kaibigang lalaki.

Veles... His name sounds a bit familiar to me. Siguro dahil bata pa ako noon kaya nakalimutan ko na. Marami na ring nangyari sa paglipas ng panahon.

I don't know if this is normal but, I can't remember some of my memories back in my childhood. I often ask my parents about it but they remained silent. It even brought me to the point that I thought I have amnesia, but Daddy said I don't have one.

I was just a bit uneasy because I can't remember Veles' face exactly in my dream. Mula sa panaginip ko ay malabo ang kaniyang mukha at kahit anong pilit kong alalahanin, sumasakit lang ang ulo ko.

I just shook my head and started preparing to go out.

I wore a white camisole, paired it with a pastel pink cardigan and a high waist jeans. Grabbing my tote bag and a white rubber was enough to complete my look.

Now, I am ready to go to the art exhibition. Walang isang oras at narating ko na iyong sinasabi nilang Flicks Art Gallery. Medyo maraming to pero keri lang dahil kaya ko namang makisabay sa kanila.

I was happy when I got inside. I think I have to thank my brother for giving me tickets. It is so refreshing to be in this place. Dumagdag pa sa kagandahan ng lugar ang mga painting na nakasabit sa paligid.

The whole place was a bit dark but there are lights to make the paintings visible and clearer. The floor was made out of marble and the interior design just looks so expensive. Even from afar, I can hear people murmuring about the paintings hung on the walls.

When I saw a bunch of people gathered at a certain painting, I got curious so I also went there. I tried to blend in with the crowd and looked at it.

"This one is the best so far."

"It is like a modern Mona Lisa."

Hearing the people around me talking about how exquisite the painting made me so curious about how it would look like.

When I finally set my eyes on the painting, my heart skipped a beat.

Am I still dreaming?

It can't be! I rubbed my eyes just to be sure of what I am witnessing right now. I felt goosebumps as I look closer at it because...

The woman in the portrait looks exactly the same as me!

But that doesn't end there. As I read the title written above it, I started breathing heavily and I don't know how to react.

"Admiring Winter..." I whispered while reading the text located on the upper side of the portrait.

❄️