My mom hates me I stg. Send help

Okay well first off she thinks I'm a full blown hardcore lesbian because she was teasing me saying I'll never find a nice man so I said "what if I don't want a man?" She hasn't let me live it down... Though I'm clearly not straight. Oops 😂

But she was making fun of my weight and telling me that I eat everything in the house.
"You never leave your room during the day but when I wake up the next morning I notice all the foods gone" (I'm not fat but lmao I do love food) and I asked her if she wasn't able to hear my door opening and closing at night AND SHE CALLED ME DISGUSTING. IM SCREAMING

IDK WHY THIS FUNNY

UPDATE: SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE I FOUND A BEETLE OUTSIDE AND TOLD HER TO LOOK AT IT AND SHES CONVINCED IM GOING TO THROW IT AT HER. LMAO I CANT BACK INSIDE. HELP 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I HATE BEETLES.