For The_UmbrellaSalesman

Save her soul

Seriously
----------
~The_UmbrellaSalesman's POV~

I pulled out the collar of my shirt as I pushed the doors of McDonald's open dramatically, my hair blowing in the air conditioning drafts.

"Table for two," I demand, slamming my fist on the counter.

"M-ma'am, this is McDonald's," the cashier sputters out nervously, avoiding eye contact, "w-we don't work like normal restaurants. W-we're f-fast food...."

"You're damn right you are." I pulled down my super awesome spy sunglasses slightly, looking at the cashier up and down. "One order of the Ten Piece Chicken McNuggets, stat."

The cashier trembled in my awesomeness as he rung up my order. I shuffled over to the left a bit, waiting at the other end of the counter for my order.

After a few minutes, the cashier brought my nuggets, and held them out to me with fear.

"Thank," I said grabbing the box and finding a seat anywhere.

I opened the box of glistening, crispy, deep-fried white filth and drooled in awe at the disgusting yet delicious nuggets. They were eye candy.

I carefully picked one up and felt a tingling sensation go up my spine as some grease was transferred onto my fingers.

I pressed the chicken nugget up to my lips and puckered against it. The crispy outer skin was rough against my lips, and my heartbeat sped up. They were delicious.

I let my tongue trail along the chicken nugget for a moment, picking up almost all the grease off of the outside before pushing it gently into my mouth, were I seductively sucked on it for a few moments before crushing it with the pressure of my pearly whites. I felt immortal.

The same process repeated with the other nine nuggets, and soon enough, I was finished. I sighed, leaning back in my seat. But no, it wasn't over yet.

A single, giant chicken nugget walked up to me and seemed to beckon me. Eat me, it called, it's voice as rich and like molasses as Morgan Freeman's voice. A shiver was sent up my spine as I gazed at the nugget with anticipation.

"Damn," I mumbled, quickly standing up and walking over to the giant white filth nugget. "You're going in my stomach." I poked my finger against the nugget's mid area and trailed along its crust sexually.

The nugget didn't move, but seemed to be telling me to continue. I moved my head closer, taking a soft lick at the crust.

"M-m-ma'am?!" The same cashier from before stood frozen with fear as I had begun to 'sexually assault' him. "Y-y-you're m-m-m-making t-the other c-customers u-uncomfortable, a-and frankly, m-m-me as well! P-please refrain f-f-from e-eating a-a-and d-doing such t-things!"

I narrowed my eyes in confusion and took a step back from the delicious chicken nugget man.

...Nope, still looked like a giant chicken nugget. A cashier's voice and a chicken nugget look. Huh, I didn't know that could arouse me.

Well, I was forced to leave and got banned from all McDonald's in the neighborhood.

Damn. I was stoned as hell, wasn't I?
----------
I feel like I just wrote food porn.

Oh well, are you happy yet?????

That killed me though.

I hope you're happy.

Bitch.