Darrius is more on edge than I'm comfortable with, the boy was too perceptive for his own good. I fumble through lunch, keeping an ear out and wondering why Steffan hadn't come down yet. Darrius touches my shirt, making me jump, I was to far gone in my head and needed to snap out of it. 

"Tata?" he asks, thumbing the seam of my oversized shirt. Verando's clothes swallowed me, the arms too long, the length almost past my shorts, no matter how much I rolled the sleeves they continued to slip down my arms. I had buttoned it up to my sternum, but any hope of it fitting was dashed with the width of the shoulders. 

"Yes, love?" I ask, putting together some leftovers from last night much to Xavier's demands. 

"Is this Daddy's shirt?" he prods, wrapping his arms around my hips, pressing the full cheek to my side with a pensive look on his gentle face. 

Considering what the repercussions could be, I examine the pale shirt and reluctantly nod. "Yes," I admit, wondering where the conversation was going. 

"Why won't he come downstairs?" Darrius confirms my suspicion, the boy was too perceptive to be snuck around on. We weren't fooling anyone, not with a presence like that. Darrius had always been able to see Verando's essence- his light. It was as if they were meant to be tied together in some way and maybe, somewhere, Darrius's past ability to see the future was coming back to show him that the wolf would eventually belong to him. 

"Your Daddy is very tired from working all night," I explain gently, warming the plate of food in the microwave. It was not my preferred method but I was admittedly desperate to get to the man. "I'm sure he'll come down after he's had some rest."

The dark chocolatey eyes of the unicorn child flick towards the television as they speak about the train, what had gone wrong, and the mounting death toll. "Did he help those people?"

The hair stands on the back of my neck, I shiver at the thought of what Darrius had heard. "Were you listening, love?"

Darrius shakes his head, pointing at the screen. "No. He's right there."

Almost dropping the plate, I freeze, quickly grabbing the remote and running over to pause the television and fumbling with the remote to attempt to rewind it. Gospel chimes lightly. 

"Can I help you, Mr.Mercer?"

My heart nearly stops and I wheel around, but I don't see my husband. It must be talking to me as I clamber back to face the screen. "I um.. yes... I'd like to pause the television."

"Blue button. Then the arrows to go backward."

Do I thank it? I often forgot we even had Gospel in our house, but it had been a safety measure I was sure. Everyone had one as they had moved away from Artifice, using the arrows, I flick the screen to play backward and attempt to focus in on the details. "Dare? Show me, honey." I plead. 

They scan over the wreckage, I struggle to even look at it, even though there are no bodies shown, the train might as well have been a massacre splayed out before my eyes. 

Darrius approaches, standing beside me as he waits before taking the remote, using it expertly to go forward and then stopping the screen. I struggle to see what he's talking about, but he walks up and points to the man standing in the background when they show the woman being loaded into the ambulance. "Right there."

I struggled to make out what he was talking about. Darrius frowns, jutting out his lower lip. "I can see him, Tata. He's right there." He responds, hurt as if I didn't believe him. 

Darrius could see him but I couldn't. Even captured on film, he was blind to my eyes. Who else would be able to see him? 

"Oh, he is there, isn't he?" I manage, suspending my disbelief as I turn the TV off and lead the boy back to the table. 

"I want to see Daddy, too," Xavier complains, making me sigh as I pick the boy up and set him in the chair with the booster. Darrius sits at the table, half-hearted as he kicks his feet back and forth with a frown. 

"He had his scary face on," Darrius tells Xavier, making the boy growl and then giggle, but Darrius had little to laugh about. "I don't like his scary face."

"I know, honey." I bend to kiss Darrius's head and place the plate in front of him, trying to come to grips with my magical child. I knew better than this, I shouldn't be gatekeeping this information from the future of our planet and yet everything in me wanted to stop him and tell him to be normal. 

Unfortunately, Darrius wasn't normal. 

Looking around for his fork, Darrius frowns, lifting the napkin and adjusting his place. When the dark eyes land on me, I purse my lips as I hold up the fork. "How about we practice a little?"

"Practice?" Darrius cocks his head to the side, wrinkling his nose as Xavier takes a handful of lasagna over using his fork. Seeing my harsh glare, Xavier forces himself to act civilized, though he still licks his fingers while he attempts to use the silverware. 

"Mhm. You're going to have to think about doing a specific task. I want you to take the fork out of my hand, but I don't want you to make it disappear. I need to be able to see the fork the whole time, make it come to you like I was tossing a ball." I explain, trying to be very specific. 

Darrius was very powerful, but he tended to make things vanish while moving them. Like the men who disappeared, we still had no idea where they'd gone or the various things he'd called to him. 

Making his face very serious, he stares at the fork and I stop him, warning him with my eyes. 

"Relax. It's easy, hold out your hand, and just think about it coming to you. Don't get too serious." I playfully lower my eyebrows at him, making him crack a small smile. "Easy and fun."

The fork begins to tremble before flying out of my hand, sailing across the room, and stabbing into the wall. Darrius ducks, Xavier squeals in delight as he chews on his fork before throwing it. "Me! Me!" He giggles, "I did it too!"

"I'm not good at this." Darrius frowns, slumping into his chair in defeat while I try to come to grips with the intensity of such a small boy. Quickly grabbing another fork, I hand it to Xavier before holding up one more to the unicorn child. 

"Try again, honey."

"I don't want to!" Darrius shouts back, crossing his arms. "I'm not good at it."

"Dare, how will you get better if you don't try? Come on, one more time, please?" It was all the signal I needed to remind myself that I'd been painfully absent in the boy's training. Much as I wanted to shield him, to keep him all to myself, if he was going to go to school for magical children these were things he would need to know and he was startlingly behind. 

I'd enjoyed him too much as he was, undeveloped and for the most part, normal. But as his abilities were manifesting, there was too much there to keep pretending that he was an average boy or a mid-grade magic user. 

Holding out his palm, he shuts his eyes, scrunching his face as he demands the fork come to him. Though it moves quicker than I would have liked, he peeks just in time to smack it out of the air and send it clattering to the table. 

"Good job, Dare!" I attempt, ruffling the boy's hair, much to his disappointment in the lack of perfection. I can see the fatigue on his little face, the knit of his eyebrows. He had a lot of raw ability, but controlling it was difficult. Focus was what he lacked, that was something we could build on. 

Letting them finish their lunch, I set to work assessing the damage while my wolf wagged its tail in the background. The creature seemed happy, content for once, though it kept dragging my interest towards the stairs. 

I wanted to see him, I wanted to be near the object of my affection again. 

As soon as the boys were finished, I cleaned up and got Xavier changed, before putting them down for their naps. Much as Darrius often complained he was too old for naps, he often passed out harder than Xavier and slept for longer. 

I sneak down the hall into our bedroom, spying the pair smoking on the balcony. I was shocked to see Stefan partaking, counting how many times I'd caught the man smoking now and trying to decide when it would be time to insist he pick a poison because I was uncertain if I could take it. 

Verando glances over his shoulder at me when I come in the room, dimpling his cheek, only to catch me off guard when he appears before me. I wasn't used to the man having the abilities that I used to, and he was getting better at them every time they surfaced. "You're wearing my shirt." He teases, scooping me up in his arms to bury his nose in my chest with a slow inhale. 

My eyebrow raises and I tilt my head at Stefan who looks apologetic. 

"What's wrong with him?" I demand, squirming as he lowers me just slightly to brush his nose over my neck. While I appreciated the affection, I wasn't quite sure I was ready for this level of commitment yet. The man held me so snuggly against him, his body so cool compared to mine, sending a tingle down my spine as I squirmed. 

"I might have given him something...." Stefan finally admits. 

Taking Verando's face in my hands, he kisses my nose with a chuckle only to hesitate, covering his mouth and dropping me. Thankful for my reflexes, I land on my feet, using my hands on his arms to stabilize him. "Sorry darling. No touching. Right." He repeats back the rules, taking my hands off of him, only to quickly retract his hands, though he seems to struggle with the concept as he obsessively folds one of my sleeves. "Sorry. Right. No touching." He repeats again.

"What did you give him?" I pinch the bridge of my nose, offering the man my wrist, "Here, it's alright. Will this appease you while I figure this out?" 

Verando examines my hand, "I mean.. possibly?" Taking my palm, he lowers it to his pants and I quickly retract with a flush, making him chuckle boyishly as his cheek dimples. "You offered, love."

"O...opium." Stefan hides behind his hand. "I thought it would help him zone out. He's lost his ability to sleep, he was exhausted.. I felt bad, and I've dabbled in it a bit myself. Opium has always helped me 'almost' sleep, it's a lovely drug for such a thing. But then... I realized after I gave it to him... that he had a history with it."

My lips part, I wonder what had possessed my friend to make such a call, but thinking back I knew that Stefan was one for vices. He'd given me my first sips of wine, he enjoyed his various partners with drugs in their system to enjoy their effects, and he was eccentric enough that recreational drug use didn't bother him. 

"He has to shut off somehow, Nic. He'll go mad if he doesn't." Stefan insists. 

Verando slides his hands over my hips, slipping them under my shirt as he pulls me against him and inhales the scent of my hair. "Already there, I'm afraid. Mad as a hatter, but you can keep me prisoner if you'd like. I need to be locked down, 'fraid I'm not fit for public display."

I shiver, forcing myself to think past the drug talking while I try to remember how long it'd been since he'd talked to me like that. 

"Shackle me?" He pulls me against his body and I slip out of his grasp with a nervous laugh. 

"Why don't you take a second.. and calm down? I need to talk to Stefan." I insist, making him shrug, indifferent as he flops back onto the bed and I grab the Strigoi to drag him onto the balcony, considering violence. "What the fuck were you thinking?" I whisper. 

"I forgot he had a drug problem! Don't yell at me, I'm trying to help. Who would have thought the straight lace, asshole, dictator had an opium addiction?! I'm assuming that's what you're so angry about?"

"No, I'm angry that you willing drugged Death!" I seethe through my teeth. "Do you have any idea what could happen?"

Stefan rolled his eyes, waving me off. "Oh honey please, he's entirely used up. He's practically mortal and probably will be until tomorrow. I thought he'd shut off and go comatose, I didn't think he would fucking frolic. If this works, he's a diety, for real this time. Opium could be a great way to get him some rest... they use it in advanced therapies now-"

Sensing my displeasure, he pursed his lips and crossed his arms, I know he was trying to help but I found myself wishing he would have asked me first. 

"I feel like I've made a mess of things." The strigoi finally murmurs, while I tended to agree, I was too overwhelmed to address all the things wrong with this situation. He was trying to help, he had successfully helped, but this was grossly overstepped. 

"Stefan, we haven't even worked through the whole baby issue and now he's out of his mind in our bedroom. This is more than just drugging him, neither of us is really in the right space to have him acting this way right now-"

Verando appears beside me, frowning as my sentence trails off. "You're upset with me?" He asks, devastated. 

"Lycan hearing." Stefan flinches. 

"Baby, we haven't had a chance to work through all that's happened these last two weeks." I attempt to reason, but his eyes search me, impossibly close as I carefully put some space between us. "I'm not upset with you, I'm just.. not in the correct mindset for all of this right now."

"You don't want me anymore." He insists, making me exhale heavily as I shake my head. 

"No, damn it, I love you to the earth and back. But-"

He'd changed his clothes, dressed in a soft shirt and his boxer briefs, Stefan had at least had the sense to make the man bathe before he drugged him. "But what? What more do I need to do? Just tell me and I'll do it." The slowness of his speech, the level of emotion he was feeling, I knew this was the drug talking more than anything but it didn't cease to break me. What impressed me most of all was that it seemed Fenrir was nowhere to be found, maybe all of this sentiment made him feel uncomfortable.

Or perhaps Verando was too much in his element with a drug he knew so well? 

Sliding to his knees, Verando slips his fingers under my shirt, reaching for my shorts as I struggle to intercept his hands. "Why won't you let me touch you?" He demands, hesitating as his fingers brush over my scar from the surgery. "Right, because I did this.. I caused this."

"Stop the spiral, bad trip..." Stefan warns me quickly. "Do something."

"Do what?" I snap back at Stefan through my teeth, gathering the man's face in my palm, "Randy, this is not-" 

I needed to let this go, I didn't have to forget and I didn't have to pretend it was ok, but I did have to acknowledge that he never would have done this on purpose. It had hurt him, too, absolutely devastated him for what he'd done to me and us. 

Taking a step closer to him, I run my hand slowly through his hair, waiting for the light gaze to meet mine. His arms encircle my waist, pressing his cheek into my thigh as he holds onto me and I brush my fingers through the thick silvering tangles. 

"Are you going to watch? Because I don't think I can get it up if you're going to watch..." Verando accuses Stefan, making the strigoi turn three different shades and I take a bit of pleasure in the man's shame. 

"Mmm, not so fun now, is it?" I tilt my head, sighing at my husband. 

"I don't like threesomes. I.. I don't know what to do with my hands." Verando explains to me, making me regret my smugness as I put my hand over his mouth as he examines his palm, as if hoping to learn its secrets. 

"Alright, that's enough sharing. Stef, why don't you hold down the fort downstairs? I'm going to stay with him until the kids wake up, then we can trade back until he's through this. Next time, don't drug him. Please? I'm begging you. "

Unimpressed, Stefan's expression told me he didn't necessarily find my perverted husband a bad thing. "We all need to find out what gets him some rest, this might be the best option until we can do that. The next thing he needs to learn is how to shut off, even if he's still conscious." Despite my protests, he holds up his hands, "I'm not going to get into your marriage... I'm just saying, it's a conversation we all need to have. I'll let you know when the boys wake up."

Stefan leaves and Verando sits obediently at my feet before brushing his nose against my thigh, nuzzling me with a contented exhale. "You're so soft."

Stiffening, I try not to take offense. "Mmm.. you've had a threesome before?"

"So many." He chuckles, dragging his teeth over my skin. "Only with women though, I like being used." Taking my hand in his, he kisses my palm, trailing up to my thumb and passing his tongue slowly over the skin while his eyes flick up to meet mine. "I want you to either choke me or sit on my face, dealers choice."

I'd choke if I wasn't so embarrassed, this seems to get the desired effect for he chuckles at me wickedly. "You're so cute. Virgin mary... I think I'm dirtier than you are."

"I'm just realizing what a whore you are." I retort shortly, fisting my hand in his hair to crane his head back. "You put on a good show, acting like a respectable man in front of everyone else."

My warlord on his knees before me was a sight to behold, and yet, I felt myself teetering on the edge of letting go. Beyond feeling conflicted, and that we hadn't worked through anything, I was also painfully aware of just how under the influence he was. I'd had him drunk, but high? 

Standing in a quick motion, I grunt as he lifts me, pressing me against the wall and making me cling to him to prevent from slipping. "However you need me, darling. That's what I'll be. Under or over you, I don't give a fuck, as long as it's you. I'm depraved beyond all recognition, but I'm entirely yours if you'll continue to have me."

Gathering his face in my hands once more, I trace my thumb over his lower lip, "I'll never want anyone else. You could burn me at the stake, Verando Mercer, and I'd still cling to your feet. You're my salvation, my entirety, no matter what."

"Fucking hell, I love it when you talk like a lunatic." Verando crushes his lips against mine, hiking my leg up onto his hip. "It makes me feel like I'm not so damn alone."

I kiss him back, hooking my arm around his neck as I cling to him. "You know, we're pretty fucked up.." I tell him sadly, making him smirk as he deepens the kiss, I shiver with the feel of his stubble against my skin. My broken other half, piecing me back together despite how out of his mind he was. 

"What're you going to do about it?" Verando murmurs, brushing his nose against mine, we're both breathless as he kisses me once more. So passionately, so desperately, yet I could feel that if I called him off, he would be obedient. I hadn't lost him, he wasn't entirely lost to the drug, and his respect for me would buy me that much in that he wouldn't force himself on me. 

What was I going to do about it?