I rock Xavier against my chest as Verando sits on the den rug with Darrius. Legardo had long since gone home, not wanting to be a part of welcoming a lycan male home when he'd been separated from his mate. Little did Legardo know, we were too raw to even think about consummating. It was an interesting realm to live in, where I feared I might never want to risk such pain again. 

Yet, looking at my cuff, reflecting the image of me and Xavier, I knew I was on borrowed time to use the gift again. 

Verando takes the opportunity to run Darrius through the art of knot tying, the young unicorn seemed to enjoy things of a more logical nature. Explaining things to him and hoping he'd understand were usually beyond what the child could manage, he was a tactile youth who needed to keep his hands busy. Wise beyond his years, and yet still so young, it impressed both of us how good he was at mastering the different knots. 

"Do I get a knife?" Darrius asks, curious as he watches my warlord measure and slice another length of rope. 

Quickly retracting the blade that flips back down into its holder on his hip, Verando scoffs at the thought. "Well... I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it. You're awfully young, though I had one when I was about your age, it was for a different purpose. Do you think you'd actually need one?"

I give the man a hard look, threatening him with violence if he dared. "Reasoning with a child?" I keep my tone light, making Verando shrug halfheartedly as Darrius fiddles with the length of rope, running back through the bowline knot with an intense look. 

"You have one." Darrius points out, "More than one."

"Are you suddenly good at math?" Verando muses, smirking from his reclined position against one of the large bookshelves. 

"I am. Uncle Addy says I'm brilliant." Darrius reports proudly, sitting up a little straighter. "I can count to twenty. Maybe even a thousand."

"My, that is quite a number. It'd take ages to count so high." Verando exhales, exasperated by the thought, which seems to please the unicorn. "Darling, I have a knife because sometimes-"

I clear my throat, shaking my head but my husband looks disappointed at my lack of forthcoming. We were raised so differently, Verando had been shielded from nothing, meanwhile, my life was quite protected until I came of age. It was a conflict we hadn't quite dealt with yet, a difference in parenting styles at such a crucial point. 

"A knife is the proper tool for the job, and if I didn't have it, who else would? Surely not your Uncle Addy or Legardo."

This seems to appease the child who purses his lips, deep in thought. "Proper tool?" He repeats back, glancing from me back to the man he considered his father. "Does Tata have one?"

"I don't think so." Verando shrugs, "Maybe you should ask him?"

Both sets of eyes stare at me and I flinch under the scrutiny, do I lie? I wish my parents had been more honest with me.. but then how would I have felt growing up with so many things I couldn't control? 

"Only when I think I'll need one, like cooking." I respond flatly, "Cooking would be a good time for you to practice with one?"

"With Gary?" Darrius wrinkles his nose, making Verando chuckle as he gathers the boy into his lap, scrubbing the child's sides and making him giggle wildly. Darrius throws his arms around the man's neck, hugging him tightly. "I missed you, Daddy."

It's an odd expression of conflict and regret on the man's face, perhaps thinking back to the children he'd left behind and if they'd felt much the same. It must be a surreal sensation, getting to see the other side of what had waited for him back at home, only for him to never return. 

"I miss you dearly, Darrius," Verando reassures the boy, kissing the top of his head, holding onto him tightly as the unicorn seems reluctant to come off his lap. "But you know, Tucci and I are working quite hard to get the school up and running. Should be done by fall, I'd say. Wouldn't that be something?"

Considering this, Darrius sits up, taking one of Verando's hands quizzically in his own as he examines the glove. Tilting his head to the side, then the other, confused and yet curious. "Do I have to go to school because I'm different? Will Xavier have to go to school, too?"

Collectively, we flinch. "What do you mean, baby?" I interject quickly, wishing to get up, but I was trapped beneath the sleeping Xavier. Waking the tiny terror was not an option, I knew better than to dare get up and risk his wrath. 

As Darrius attempts to remove the glove, Verando quickly stops him, playfully resting his hand over the boy's and causing him to giggle, putting his other hand on top of his father's with a boyish grin. "I'm not a lycan." Darrius points out, "Sylvia told me. I tried to growl but it sounded silly... she said I didn't have to pretend to be a lycan." 

Once more we were conflicted, I wanted to protect him, and Verando wanted to validate that what he felt was true. He wasn't a lycan, he would never be like us, and it would become more obvious as Xavier's traits began to appear that the boy was not like us. I didn't think of it, playing with Sylvia seemed so safe, but the girl was very honest and outspoken. 

It wasn't her fault, she was also speaking the truth, nobody had told her to lie to the sweet unicorn boy. 

After a long period of silence, watching Darrius squirm uncomfortably, Verando's expression softens and he ruffles the light-colored hair. "Well, what do you think you are?"

Darrius touches his ears, where we had had them surgically altered to make him look like an elf. "An.. elf?"

"That's a good guess." I return, sighing, trying desperately to not look so devastated. 

Why did these questions have to come so soon?

My husband never looked more handsome to me than when he was fawning over one of our children, adopted or not. The look of endearment, his determination to protect this innocent boy from the truth, and yet never shield him from reality, melted and thawed out my frozen insides. 

My heart threatened to flutter just that much more, I held Xavier closer, kissing the smokey gray curls as the boys grumbled against my chest. Looking peaceful in his sleep, I was always amazed at how potent the Mercer genetics were. 

A carb copy of his father's nose hidden behind the youthful roundness of a child's face. The shape of his eyes, the way his little eyebrows almost seemed to knit together, threatened to make me cry every time I envisioned just what the life inside of me might have looked like. 

Disappointed with the lack of confirmation but spurred on by youthful enthusiasm, Darrius seems neither comforted nor put off by my lack of assurance. "Honey, why don't you get a drink of water, it's about time for bed?" I insist, tired beyond wanting the boy to rest his racing mind. 

Verando seemed just as reluctant to let the child go as Darrius seemed to leave. The large, dark eyes search from me to the kitchen, and after a moment his lower lip pokes out. I admire the attempt to look strong, to not cry, but he sniffles as he quickly spins to bury his face into his father's chest once more. "I don't want you to leave."

"Darling, I have to go to work." The warlord exhales, holding him, rocking him gently as he kisses the top of the boy's head. "How about you get your drink, then I'll lay with you for a bit, yeah? Haven't gotten to have a lay-in together in quite some time."

Testing the thought, Darrius eventually nods, rubbing his eyes roughly. "Stay right here until I get back." He demands, hoping up to race to the kitchen. 

I sigh heavily, attempting to digest all of these questions I'd not prepared myself for. Our time with Darrius as a youthful toddler, oblivious to the world, was gone. We couldn't hide from him that his world was changing, that our family was very different from other families, and the closer he got to going to school and knowing more children more that would stand out. 

It worried me, sending him to a place where children would question the normalcy of every aspect of Darrius's upbringing. He would be too analytical to understand that sometimes children were just cruel, and he would become untrusting of the responses of those who would understand his kindness. 

It was a fear that haunted me every day. I'm surprised Verando didn't come to me, yet when I look over I see that my husband is exactly where Darrius put him. While I'm impressed at his dedication, I spot the look of concern and tilt my head. 

"I can't move," Verando tells me under his breath, keeping his voice low. "I'm stuck."

"How? By your belt? You've already rebuilt the house, just break it."

"No. I feel like I'm frozen. I can't move." 

Blinking in shock, I almost leap up, but Xavier in my arms prevents me once more. "What-"

"Love, if I knew, I'd undo it." Verando's voice is hard, I can sense the growing panic and force myself to exhale in an attempt to not add more stress. 

"Alright. Alright. Just... hold on." Looking over my shoulder, I spy Darrius returning. "Honey, your daddy has been so patient but he needs you to unfreeze him. Can you do that for me?"

Giggling, Darrius sips his water, "What? Why?"

"Well you told him he can't move, it's like a game. Now you need to undo it, tell him he can move." I explain, slowly, patiently. The unicorn giggles once more, approaching his father with a look of curiosity. 

"You can move, Daddy." Sipping his water, he takes a calculated step back as Verando practically springs out of his seated position, pulling at his clothes as if he were about to come out of his very skin. "Silly. It's just a game."

My warlord was not nearly as amused, only horrified, he examined his body in a quick once-over before forcing a smile that didn't touch his eyes. "Come on, Dare, let's get you to bed, yeah?"

"Teeth!" I shout after them, uncertain if I was being unreasonable before following after to lay Xavier down as well. 

After over an hour, I made my way back upstairs, giving up on the thought that I'd be able to stay awake long enough for the man to return from his capture with our son. Would he come to find me? Would he even say goodbye? Unwilling as I was to miss out on telling him goodbye, I also needed to be realistic that I had to function tomorrow and Xavier woke up at an ungodly hour. 

Entering our bedroom, I jumped when I found him standing on the balcony with a cigarette, the rigidity in his back made my lips pull into a thin line. I knew that stance all too well, moving across the space, I cross my arms lightly over my chest as I step out into the night air and place myself on the other side of the balcony. 

Our property truly was beautiful, with the expanse of woods and the cattle grazing across the cleared acres. I will always be grateful to Tyler's parents for selling it to us. In the distance, I can faintly make out the rush of the stream, my eyes scan the hazy mountains in the distance illuminated by the full moon. 

"Are you alright?"

"No." Verando almost snaps, but he stops himself, muttering lowly before taking another drag of his cancer stick. "Yes." He surrenders to his fate, leaned onto his elbows as he glowers into the distance, but mostly, he looks exhausted. 

"Yes?" I question, surprised. 

Much as he might like to look at the end of his rope, the reality was this was the least of his worries. The moon does interesting things to his eyes, illuminating them, and causing them to glimmer like silver pools only to be accentuated by the stark contrast of his hair against the blues of the night sky. 

The chain around his neck glinted off the lighting, despite hiding under his loosened tie and collar. I note the bruising around his neck, where he'd held back a shift. 

"I belong to him, I am his hell-hound. I guess I didn't expect it so soon, but I'm glad to know this now instead of when he's a pissed-off teenager." Verando summarizes, taking the last drag before crushing the cigarette out. "Darrius is the unicorn, if we like it or not, I think we're going to have to tell him sooner rather than later. He's to smart for his own good."

I knew this, but I didn't want it to be so. I wanted so desperately to protect him, to keep him from realizing that he would be taken from us the moment he turned eighteen. How could we prepare him for something like that? "I'd like to wait until he's thirteen if at all possible."

"He's an all-powerful being, who controls Death, and the fate of the universe. I think the longer we keep this from him, the worse it's going to be when we do tell him. There is a lot of responsibility that comes with all of this. What if he told me to hurt someone?"

It was that very reason that kept me from permitting his knowledge. "if he understands that he can control you, he will never let you leave. He's a child and he loves you so damn much, Randy. Until he can be reasoned with, he can't know that he can control you. We can't risk him doing something that will bring more attention from Anubis. It would appear your diety is growing sick of us as it is."

Grimacing, Verando runs his hand through his hair and pulls off his tie roughly, balling it up and shoving it into his back pocket. My eyes drift to the collarbone exposed at the popped buttons of his shirt. The defined lines of his sternum, peaking over the edge, and the base of his neck held the chain that acted much like a choker. 

My wolf whimpers, pawing at the edge of my mind, making me shiver at the thought. 

"Anubis is fed up with a lot of things. Fenrir is more of a concern nowadays." Verando grumbles.

 I wish to touch the dark circles under his eyes, yet he turns away to return to the bedroom. Unbuttoning his shirt almost robotically, his expression is vacant as he goes through the motions of pulling off the articles of clothing. My eyes rake over him, admiring him like fine art instead of something I wish to devour, I allowed myself to get used to the sight of him all over again. 

The unmarred plains of his back, his skin now a shade more pale and firm over his taut muscles. Folding the shirt, he moves to place it in the hamper but I quickly appear to snatch it, bringing it to my nose with a gentle inhale. "You said you'd be alright with feeding my wolf. This would be a big part of that, bringing me back things you've worn so I can smell you even when you aren't here."

Verando's lips part for only a moment, I flush when I realize the shirtless male is before me, and his pierced nipples are in my line of sight. Hiding my mouth behind the shirt, I snag another inhale and quickly divert my attention with a heavy flush of my cheeks. 

"Should I undress in the bathroom? I'm sorry, love, I didn't even think about this making you uncomfortable."

The problem was, I wasn't. His body was so familiar to me, that it would almost worry me more if he had hidden himself. "No, it's fine. I'm not going to surrender any time with you."

Pulling off his gloves, he sets them on the bed and works on removing his belt. The snap of the leather gathering in his hands makes my heart pound, it gives me relief to know I can still feel this way, that I still love him in this way. "Bastet visited me today," I tell him finally, drifting to sit on the bed, crossing my legs as I take long, slow breaths of that delicious shirt. 

"I know, I was chasing her." Verando retorts, keeping his voice even, unbuttoning his pants and stepping out of them. Tossing them in the hamper, he stretches, groaning as his muscles creak and his joints pop. "Slippery little bitch, that one. She's jumping vessels faster than I can keep up with her."

"I need you to stop chasing her," I tell him firmly, keeping my eyes in my lap, feeling him before I see him. I know he's before me, the presence of him takes my breath away, yet I keep my eyes down. "She said she would take her gift back if you kept chasing her and I... don't want to give it up just yet. I'm not sure what I want, but she seemed to think that there would be a way we could try again. If you want to make amends with me, you'll stop chasing her, strike her off your list."

The words sound so final, so harsh, yet if I let him go now I know I could potentially lose my opportunity. She'd keep appearing on his list, and if he caught her, the gift would surely be over. 

"You want to try again?" His voice was hard and low, but I was relieved to find he still sounded like my husband. It was the most he'd sounded like Verando since he'd been turned into Death. The even tone of a warlord, the smoothness of carefully calculated restraint, I feel a flood of relief just hearing his tone. 

"Not now.. but eventually yes. Surely I will.. go.. into heat again?" I manage, flushing darkly, shutting my eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. "That's what that was, right? When we couldn't leave each other; when I couldn't think about anything else?" 

I couldn't look at him, not yet, not while I was so close to negotiating my terms. 

Verando honors my wishes, he doesn't touch me, or maybe he's too afraid to with his gloves off. "So you want another attempt and you want me to stop chasing Bastet."

Nodding once, I note that he doesn't add what he would like in all of this. 

"The book states that Death can barter life in extreme circumstances, Stefan and I have been trying to figure out what those instances would be.. I suppose this would be one of them. The barter would be this cuff, correct? I give her an extended stay, and she allows you to keep your cuff and this child?"

Stefan? The strigoi hadn't told me he'd been helping Verando learn. My heart throbs, jealousy rolling into my chest. 

With a slow exhale, he nods. "Alright. I'll write it, an extension for Bastet in exchange for the cuff. To give years, I have to take years... this means that someone is going to have to give up a piece of their life, it's not hard to find people wanting to make those deals but I want you to understand what that means. She can't continue to kill people, so I'm going to have to extend the life of her vessel. Nothing is given, there must be equal exchange."

Another blow. I swallow hard, pulling my knees tighter to my chest, wondering how I could be so selfish. How could I take someone else's life so that Bastet could continue to roam while I tried to defy nature and have a baby I was never meant to have? 

When I open my eyes, I see Verando knelt before me. My lips pulled into a thin line, trying to force myself to call off the terms, and yet Verando did not look the same as he had last time we'd spoken. He was collected, and calm, understanding the parameters of what I was asking, and was willing to execute them. It was me who was stuck with my trauma, it was my job to save people, didn't this make me the bad guy?

"Nic, I'm already going to hell when this is all over. If it's written in the book, if it's possible, I'm happy to do this for you. Something good has to come from this, I'm willing to let it be this. I just want you to understand the agreement and all its pieces. When her time runs out again, I'm sure she will be back asking for more time. She can make the exchange next time, not you."

"I just keep thinking how unfair this all is," I whisper, finally allowing myself to meet his concerned gaze. Carefully, I extend my hand, cupping his cheek and slowly brushing my thumb over the dark circles under his eyes. "Also, you've been hanging out with Stefan?"

Smirking, Verando allows a light chuckle. "That's what you're focusing on?"

"I'm jealous," I admit, which seems to warm him for his cheek dimples and he seems almost content with that knowledge. 

"I'd take residence with the man if I thought it'd make you pine for me again. Selfish as it is."

I drag my thumb over his lower lip this time, sighing at just how much this man affected me. "You're way too pretty to have so much self-doubt."

"So you think I'm pretty?" His tone is half-hearted as if he could believe his looks had suffered in this transition. Yet he was practically naked before me, save for his boxer briefs, and I was left with the conflict of just how much I yearned for him. To find him so appealing, and yet my body refused to ignite the way I was used to, it was an odd sensation. 

"You're the most beautiful man I've ever met. I'm ruined for men, sculptures don't hold a candle to how much you appeal to me. I'm going to come back to you, it's just going to take some time... I promise."

"I've got nothing but time." He sighs, resisting the urge to kiss my hand as I brush his tangled hair back out of his face. "I've got to go."

"I know." I exhaled, memorizing him, examining every inch of the man before me and yet he seemed to be doing the same to me. Taking my hand so gently in his, he brings my wrist to his nose, sketching over my skin with an almost pained expression. "I've got to tell you something before you go."

"Mmm?" Verando hums, intoxicated by my scent. "Gods I've missed you."

Shuddering, I swallow at the temptation of this sinful man. "Anubis broke his deal to you when our child was killed. He promised to protect our household and failed to do so, even if it was from you. I was hurt.. our child was hurt.. and that was a breech of contract."