Despite feeling like my world ended that night, morning had risen, only to reveal that the world insisted on spinning with or without me. Adriam, the most unlikely of friends, seemed to feel my pain on a deeper level than most. He had been the first to pull me out of bed, and he'd brought my children to see me as soon as he thought I was stable enough. Adriam refused to let me slip back into the comfort of numbing out all of this pain. 

My husband, as promised, stayed mostly away. We passed like ships in the night, and while he was unbearably kind, I couldn't bring myself to speak to him beyond what was necessary. Without needing to sleep, he was happy to leave our marital bed to me, and avoid coming into the room if he even suspected I'd be in it. 

Spring threatens, and the air is humid, bordering on a chill yet pleasant with the sweet smell of freshly cut grass wafting from the fields. I cross one leg casually over the other, attempting to reenter polite society with a small dinner party of what I would consider dignitaries in this day and age. 

While this was the last thing I wanted to do, we couldn't allow ourselves to fall out of relevance. I needed these people to be on our side, given Verando's unpredictable outbursts, we would need a community that was more willing to protect us than out us to any news station that might listen. I needed to assure myself that we weren't slipping in favor among the humans and users surrounding us.

Xavier runs after fireflies as Darrius seems to hang in limbo between us, playing casually with the landscaping stones as if he weren't trying to remain just out of reach. A few other children play on the large swing structure, yet Darrius feels little interest in playing with them. I struggled with the concept of leaving him to fend for himself, I knew he wished for me to summon him so he could be at my side, but this was good for him. 

Xavier had become a terror, knowing little of fear and too much of a superiority complex, he commanded every space presented to him. Meanwhile, Darrius preferred to hang back and observe, other children were often too loud for the gentle games he wished to play. 

These last two weeks had been a nightmare but I was proud of continuing on, despite the desire to fold, drowning in the pain of losing what was so precious to me. We were in and out of our family houses, and much as we tried to keep a sense of normalcy, the house construction and the replacement of the various walls, windows, and structures, had been slow going. 

Verando often opted to stay behind, remaining with the construction while I took the children to quieter places for the evenings. This was one of the first nights we would all be together under one roof for the night, save for the fact he'd already left for training with Steffan. 

The internals of the house were serviceable, I took the opportunity to spend money and customize the home to suit my taste a bit more, a petty bit of revenge for all the pain he'd caused me. But, the outside had faired well and it was a fine space for entertaining. The large seating area nestled on the stone pavers, well shaded by hefty umbrellas and comfortable plush chairs. 

Beside the fire pit and a dining space, it was well sectioned off to be removed enough from the home and allow and sense of privacy. Darrius sighs when it seems I won't be calling him over, making his way back towards the group of children, gathering Xaiver for he seemed more comfortable mingling when his little brother could break the ice. 

"Nicolas?" One of the women touches my arm, I'd jump if I hadn't heard her shift. 

"Sorry. It's been a long day." I admit, feigning interest in the goings-on of political gossip amongst bored housewives. A dinner party was a good way to gain interest and favor, while it seemed like it wasn't a common practice anymore, especially among strangers, it was nice to pretend that I had any sense of say or control in my own world. 

I was working my way up the ladder, trying to decipher just how far my husband's influence went and how much my own reign mattered to people. Not even a year ago, there was talk of a monarchy, now I was reduced to a housewife, myself. So, while it wasn't a court of congressmen and senators, it was nice to get involved in our local happenings. 

"Please, go on." I encourage. They didn't quite know how to take me, though I couldn't say I blamed them. They were all mortal, at least on the surface and from what they'd been willing to reveal. Much as I'd rather be doing anything else, I needed my own connections, I needed to plan for a life where my warlord might be absent for long periods of time.

The mayor's wife, Elizabeth, had brought a few of her friends whose husbands were influential men of local distributing facilities, large corporations, and medical firms. All things that could make our lives more comfortable without breaking the rules of our freedom, I needed to figure out what these people were passionate about. 

"It's fine, I imagine you're still trying to adjust after all this mess the last year. You know there are services for people like you, people who have gone to war.. you might want to consider looking into it." Elizabeth suggests, snagging one of the sugar cookies Legardo had set out. 

It pleased me that nobody seemed to understand why our home was destroyed. I suppose on the outside it looked like I was simply remodeling. Shuddering at the thought, I find myself wishing my body wasn't so warm, it'd be nice to hide in the depths of a sweater. 

One of the other ladies, Janet, sips on the abomination known as sweet tea. Practically sugar water, I much preferred my own brew over the sweet syrup. "Liz, I don't think it's the done thing to tell someone to get mental help." She swats at her, shaking her head in disappointment. "Besides, anyone could be bored to tears listening to you prattle on. Nicolas, did I hear that you're set to take over the local diesel shop? I believe I saw it on the news, your husband has been speaking to mine about a contract. 

Frankly, it's why I thought you invited us over- to talk about it."

I tilt my head, ignoring the suggestions for my mental health. "Diesel shop?" Was that what it was referred to?

"Your shop, honey. She's trying not to talk about the fact that your husband bought you a business, seems suspicions are confirmed, you didn't look like the kind of girl who wants to get their hands dirty." One of the ladies, Delilah, quips, lighting a cigarette without bothering to ask. Everyone had nicknames, I struggled to keep them straight as I attempted to remind myself what the leather-faced elder went by.

 Hesitating at the fact they referred to me as a woman, I remember Adriam doing much the same. Was it commonplace for a man with my interests to fall into suit with ladies? To identify as them? I suppose I had called them, and not their husbands, but it always seemed as though the lady of the house held as much, if not more, power in the passion projects that I was interested in. I wanted their loyalty, not necessarily their money.

"Heck of a gift... I'd have been furious, seems like something for him more than for you." Delilah grumbles, earning a chuckle from the other ladies. "Next time tell him to buy you a vacation."

"I wanted it," I interject quickly, stiffly, attempting not to fall back into my breeding in finding offense for idle commentary. "I have a fondness for cars, when we were mobilizing against Gabriel, I developed an affinity for it. There's a niche, the cars here nowadays are horrid. War machines and rattle boxes, I want to design sleek sports cars like what are in the museums." I allow, plucking absently my shirt. 

The incision on my abdomen had long since healed, yet it still ached from time to time. I cringe quietly to myself, adjusting my seating. 

They fall quiet, caught off guard by my response. 

I sigh at myself, running a hand through my hair. "They're loud and they stink, I want new cars that are less so."

They seemed as uncertain of me as I was of them. Any straight male inviting a bunch of women to dinner would have been questionable, but an outwardly gay man was acceptable, yet I wasn't acting much like the personality I'd seen displayed on television. I was a curiosity to them, something they hadn't had much access to. 

"Well, my husband was pretty disappointed that we lost a local business, not that y'all are bad or anything. It was just a shock that the place had been purchased, none of us had even known it was for sale. We ran a lot of our trucking out of that place but, the owner was getting old, you know-" Janet engrossed the others back into her stories of grandeur, how the previous owner had done them so many good deeds, that it had been owned by the same family for two generations, and how their daughter had run around with a local butchers son. 

I find myself wondering why we'd decided to live here, and what the gain would be from being in such a small community. But, one glance around told me exactly what I needed to be reminded of, it was the perfect place to disappear, and that had been the goal. I was the one breaking the rules by inviting, even low-level, dignitaries over for dinner.

This dinner had only suited to prove me right, that there was plenty of ill-will floating around our decision to move here and take over this farm, along with the various businesses Verando had bought into. They felt like we were outsiders inserting ourselves into their lives, uninvited. 

Along with the fact that, with our presence came a mountain of trouble. Proved by the state of my newly repaired house, we had been confirmed on multiple occasions as dangerous. 

Yet, they didn't seem to question my magical upbringing nor did they worry about the obvious cameras, weapons, and general fortress-like feel of my home. 

It was mostly our air of disassociation with anything to do with the community. 

So, it would be up to me to return peace the best way that I knew how, and that was through food, alcohol, and gossip. 

"Truthfully, I brought you here because we feel a bit like strangers in this town. We're both foreigners, obviously, but moving here was mostly for Verando's music and a place to raise our children. I feel a little alone out here when he's gone for work all the time, but it's hard to make friends given his status." It was time to swallow my pride and play the role I'd been given. "I suppose I'm just looking for ways I can be involved, see what you do for fun around here, ladies, this isn't a business meeting."

"Oh, then you must come to the club, and if you want to get on the men's good side, you better just go on and learn how to golf," Elizabeth tells me, pouring herself another glass of wine. "There's plenty of events for children and we have weekly gatherings to mingle, you should come next Saturday, you might get a good idea of the community and decide where you'd like to settle with."

Janet sighs, rolling her eyes, "Oh Liz, he can settle with whoever he wants. They're all good folks here, Nicolas. Don't mind us, it's just not often we are called to someone's home so you'd have to imagine it's a little surprising to us.. but I guess it's where you're not really from here. Is this common in your country?"

"Something like that. I'm most comfortable in my own home, given that we are all magical beings here. Frankly, I'm surprised any of you came." I retort dryly, tempting myself with the wine but opting to remain with my tea. 

"Well, we're mighty curious of you and yours." Janet scoffs. "Besides, we'd all be lyin' if we said we weren't hopeful that eventually, a friendship could result in us getting tickets to your husband's concerts."

"Jan!" Delilah hisses, sighing heavily, and shaking her head. I can't help but smirk slightly, shrugging dismissively. 

"Frankly that makes me much more comfortable to know it's mutual. You're not the first and certainly not the last to ask. How about you let me know when these events take place and keep me posted on charities and what have you, I'll see what I can do about tickets. He's not at all fun to meet though." Crossing my arms over my chest, I try not to sound too bitter and earn a collective giggle from the group. 

"Honey, if we were with our husbands for their personalities we'd be in a much different circle having a much different conversation. Y'all look so happy on television, good to see that you're more like us than we thought. Not that I would wish any sort of unhappiness on your family.. but.. it's a lonely life sometimes." Elizabeth checks her watch, slowly collecting her things. "We'll be in touch, Nicolas. Come to the club on Saturday, we'd be happy to introduce you around."

Delilah hands me over her card. "There's an art show in the park next month, I'd plan to pick an artist to sponsor if you want to make a good impression on these eccentric types. Makin' fancy cars that nobody in this area can afford is likely not going to make you many friends. Hire local and be kind, the best advice I can give you."

I thank them, leading them through the house to allow them to exit under my own power. While I didn't find them dangerous, I wasn't going to allow any chance for wandering. The children file after them, Xavier sniffles that his friends are leaving while Darrius looks as exhausted as I feel. 

"Tata, I'm hungry." Darrius yawns, leaning against my thigh, I glance over to see Legardo in the kitchen already starting dinner and I'm thankful the man hadn't left us here in the midst of all this. 

"Looks like Gardo is making dinner." I mouth thank you to the man who shrugs one should dismissively, Silvia and Briley were having a girl's day with Pascal so I imagine he was trying to keep himself busy. Sending the boys to get washed up, I slip outside for a moment to myself and clean up before the onslaught of entertaining two children till bedtime. 

When I'm alone, the pain is just as unbearable as that first night in the hospital, pretending to be okay was so much worse. I'd been tempted to ask him to rip the cuff off, to return it, and yet I hadn't been able to even bear to utter the words. As I collect the wine glasses, dump the tea into the grass, and gather up the plates, I catch my reflection in the gold of the cuff covering my forearm. 

"Just move on. Everyone else has." I mutter to myself, a silent scold that I should never have let myself hope that it could work for me. I was a man, my body wasn't meant- The thought makes me angry all over again, I nearly shatter the plate in my hands before I force myself to put it down with a shakey gasp.

I was doing it though. I had been fine, I'd been on track until the mistake. But, try as I might, begging myself to hate him so it'd give me some ability to escape this hell of endless guilt and blame, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to blame him, to damn him for what had been done. 

It wasn't a matter of what he had done to me, I couldn't let myself even consider that as an option. It was an accident, an honest mistake of a user trying to learn to use an ability, and any other magic user would understand that mistakes were bound to happen.

Lowering myself into the chair, I slump into my hands, propping my elbows on my knees as I try and gather myself back together for my children. 

Hearing the familiar jingle of wind chimes, I wonder if Verando had come home early but the scent is off. When I glance up, I see it's a new vessel standing before me but the golden eyes alert me that it was the lioness, Bastet, who came to pay me a visit. 

"You're a tricky man to approach given that your husband is hunting me."

I hesitate, trying to make sense of those words. "That doesn't make any sense-"

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as she twiddles her fingers, I notice one is missing. "I still haven't found my vessel, so these bodies are dying faster and faster. He's chasing down my trail of dead, not necessarily me as a person, though I'm sure Anubis is chomping at the bit to make me go back to Purgatory. I saw that our deal had been terminated and wanted to check on you, to see if it was intentional. Looking at your face, I'd say not."

"Why on earth would I do this on purpose?"

Bastet considers this and shrugs, "You tell me. Why haven't you made another one?"

Straightening, I sit back in my chair, staring at her as if she'd grown three heads. "Make-" The words won't come out. "My baby is dead." I almost accuse her, horrified. "This.. this whole thing... I can't just..." I might vomit, the thought had never crossed my mind, and yet I wasn't sure I could put everyone through this a second time, including me. What if he made another mistake? 

Could I handle another loss?

"Do what you want. The gift and my deal still stands, I'll help you conceive as long as you keep your hellhound off my tail. I get to stay here when the others go back to purgatory, I just want to hear it from you.. or, take back my cuff, because this is getting dangerous for me without protection."

So she wanted to make sure I was still on her side. I rub violently at my eyes, trying to come to terms with the entirety of our situation. "What makes you think I control anything Verando does as Death?"

Tapping her fingers lightly on the table, Bastet curls her full lips into a smile, with a melodic giggle. "You are his keeper, you hold the key. You're not dumb, and I know Anubis is famous for his speeches. I can recognize a key kept in plain sight, so perhaps do a better job hiding it. If you command that I be stricken from Death's list, surely there must be some weight behind that. If that's not enough, then I'd wager our deal could be kept intact by Death himself. Tell me... did Verando kill that child?"

"It was an accident-"

She raises her finger, grinning widely, joyous chaos dancing in her eyes. "Did Anubis promise you that you, and your child, would be kept safe?"

I think back, racking my brain for the exact words, but before I can answer she's before me, searching my gaze with hungry eyes. 

"Sounds like Anubis's minion, Death, caused harm to the charge Anubis is supposed to protect. I've been chased out of here by the devil's dogs more times than I can count. There must be a large collection happening or there would be no chance of me coming to you. Anubis would only place his guards here if you were granted protection. I'd wager that that protection involved Death, himself. Yet... it looks like someone got very hurt."

What was she getting at? That there was some possible way out of this? I resisted the urge to lean away from the scent of decay, her vessel was at the end of its rope once more. 

Straightening, she dusts herself off, sighing as she takes a slow sweeping glance around her. "My time's up. I'll leave my gift with you for a bit longer, you let me know what you decide. If your hound keeps chasing me, I'll know what your answer is. Think about what I said, the deal with Anubis has wiggle room, and I'd hate to see my brother get away with failing at something he holds as valuable as his word of protection. "

The eyes shut off, returning to a more human hue as the karambit strikes the woman in the throat, turning her body to ash. Verando curses, his nose twitching as he follows the scent before realizing where the hunt had brought him. Taking a few quick steps back, I know his hope was to leave, he was already muttering something unintelligible to himself as the skull mask fades from his temple to reveal his normal face. 

"I'll go before the kids see me-"

"Wait." I manage, stopping him, unable to hold back the plea. He was dressed in a suit, without the jacket, the waistcoat close cut to his body and his sleeves rolled up to prevent damage I would assume. There was blood spatter on him, but significantly less this time around. I would find it amusing if I wasn't so upset, so distraught. 

Only my warlord would treat the act of killing systematically like a business, and dress as such. 

"Have you eaten? Can you stay with us for dinner?" I offer, cautiously standing, not closing the gap between us but offering a look that at least wasn't hostile.