Moving to gather the sleeping bags, I hesitate, kicking dirt over the fire as my attention drifts back toward the woods. The mention of the chain flickers on the edge of my consciousness, a quiet reminder that he wished to find the chain and mentioned that Fenrir was itching to get out. With an exhale, I thanked Rosu; the beast seemed to like to please Verando even more than I did.

If he were to confront Tiberius tomorrow, I'd prefer him to have a clear head.  Listening, I expanded my range to see if I could hear any indication that the children were awake, but only silence echoed from the house. Picturing him waiting for me, sprawled on the bed or perhaps even standing in the doorway- 

Flustered, I can't prevent the bubble of laughter because I know exactly where he'd be. Showering the filth of the day off of his body, no doubt.

I accepted that he could do without me for a few moments. My body felt tight and rigid; the wolf had had no time to run since he'd been gone, not that I'd made it a habit to exercise this side of myself. With so much focus on my gifted cycles, I'd hardly even addressed the emotionally starved creature save to allow the reminder that my clock was ticking.

 Rosu pawed to escape, and I let the wolf come forward. It never ceased to amaze me how excruciating the shift continued to be. Every bone in my body snapped and cracked, my form changing into something it was never meant to hold. To my surprise, the canine turned to look towards the house, a flurry of excitement coursing through my body. 

"Alpha." The creature beckons, but I forcefully steer us towards the scent of water. Despite how desperately I wanted to see him, I wasn't quite ready to go inside; uncertainty clouded my haste.

Before I could think about it, I bound across the grass, haphazardly stumbling through the brush as I ran towards the lake. One of the red ears flicks back towards the house as my paws slow, a reminder that I'd left a glorious man to entertain himself while I came digging for hell's chain.  Reaching the sandy bank, I find myself wishing it was further, that I'd have more time to process.

Rosu's eyes glint at me in the flickering push and pull of the water's edge. "I miss him, too, you know. He belongs to me as much as he does you; I don't want to be out here." The lycan presses, making me hesitate. 

Sex was always something I'd been good at; it'd be a source of comfort and connection and a means for Verando and me to find each other in our darkest times. Despite the trials we'd faced, it'd been a constant for both of us, our mutual love language.

Now, my body betrayed me with its fear of the unknown, a fear that what I'd been promised might never be. Expectations and disappointments beyond the flesh, a possibility of something I'd desperately wanted, and the potential for soul-crushing disappointment. 

Being here, seeing him after being apart for weeks, was a harsh reminder that he was changing. It hadn't been lost to me that Verando was effectively- Much as I wanted to pretend as if he was alive, his return had confirmed the mounting fear. He was cold, solid, and becoming more pale by the day; my opportunity to gain anything from him in the organic sense was ever dwindling. 

"I don't want him to think the only reason I want him back is to make good on Bastet's promise. But... I also don't want him to see how disappointed I am that he's dead." I murmur to the wolf who sees every side of me whether I wish it or not. "If he realizes that I'm upset by this-" I can't even fathom how he'll feel. "We can't change it."

"Then don't change it. You know he's a sensitive creature; he probably thinks we are upset with him. There is no way he did not notice you running away."

A glint in the sand catches my eye; I unearth the chain with a frustrated sigh. It was a sign that I needed to go back, to not hide from the man who loved me so dearly. "I think it's time we let this dream go; a child would complicate things immensely, and I'm unwilling to put this pressure on either of us right now. Two children is plenty..." I'm uncertain if it's me or the wolf I'm trying to convince, but all the same, the creature seems to agree. "This is my excuse; this is why we ran off."

Snagging the chain between my teeth, I hold onto the notion that I didn't run out here to avoid giving up on my dream.

The run home felt even shorter than the dash to the water's edge. Shifting mid-stride, I stumble into the house and move quickly to the downstairs bathroom to assess the damage the time in the outdoors had done to my raw materials. I must be concerning him, tumbling through our home like a toddler more than a practiced veteran. Addressing my hair, scrubbing a few stray leaves out of the weight of it, and attempting to tease it back into some order, I look more like I went for a romp than a run. 

Had I gained weight?

I twist from side to side, regretting the pizza as I brush my teeth in a last-ditch effort.

Naked, baring all to this unforgiving mirror, it was an emotion I hadn't held since I was a teenager. Inadequate, self-loathing, and loss all rolled into one; I cursed at myself for dredging all of this head trash up now when what I'd wanted only an hour ago waited for me upstairs. Holding onto the sink, staring back at this person who was now a parent, attempting to fit in, I wonder if this was the life we envisioned when trying to fight for freedom. 

War had been easy compared to this; nobody judged your front yard or questioned your taste in landscaping. This was so much worse than court, where you could assure yourself the person at your side was lying in some instance. This world felt so much more personal and cutthroat, all simultaneously, and my body had chosen now to crack under the pressure.

"Fuck." I mutter with a shakey inhale, rubbing roughly at my eyes, "Get a grip, Nic." 

Stark naked, I stride upstairs, only for my hand to hesitate over the door handle. The carefully constructed facade proves to be much more fragile than I hoped. Pushing the door open, I quickly close it behind me, barely stopping it from slamming. I grimace at the awkward gesture, attempting to straighten and look somewhat desirable while at the same time trying not to allow any grand reveal of my negatives.

 Verando paused mid-fold, going through the vast amount of laundry I'd allowed to pile up. Since he'd been home, all he'd done was clean and reorganize. It took everything in me not to take it personally, not to feel like he silently judged my shortcomings.

"You went to the lake? Are you alright?" Verando's voice clouded over with concern. "I'll admit, that's a first. I'm not used to people running away at the idea of having sex with me."

 I almost retreat, but I can sense the lightness in his voice, the attempt to coax me back out of my head. 

"Where did you go?"

Holding up the chain, I present it to him before crossing my arms over my chest as if somehow that might guard me from his gaze. "I didn't know when you were going to leave, but I wanted to make sure you had this tomorrow, just in case you need help reeling Fenrir back in-"

Verando grimaces, placing his palm against his temple and stumbling backward to grip the nightstand. "Fucking hell..." He manages, breathless at the discomfort as I quickly shove the chain into one of the top drawers.

"I'm sorry." I walk towards him hurriedly, hesitating before I can touch him, knowing that in times like this he wasn't in control. I couldn't risk another pushback; I was uncertain of just how practiced he was despite the story of his growing ability. My own magic wasn't like it used to be, and with our children with us full time I couldn't afford to become drained should I need to defend myself.

"It's fine. He's just... angry." Verando manages, blinking through the discomfort, dabbing at his nose with the back of his hand, and cursing about blood. I note the trickle of red staining the back of his hand, threatening to drip with its intensity. He moves to the bathroom to grab one of the darker towels and holds it against his nose. "Give me a moment, darling. I'll be right in just a bit. Bastard enjoys a good escape attempt."

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I can't help but chuckle, catching him off guard as surely what he'd said wasn't the least bit amusing. 

"Care to share?" He asks, leaning against the door frame, slightly canted forward in an attempt to save the lycra. To my surprise, he hadn't showered; he hadn't done anything, it seemed, but fold the laundry and make the bed. Trailing my fingers over the comforter, the taut nature suggested great care in how he'd fitted it down. I'd thought he'd be in here, totally ready to take me, and now I can't help but feel as though he'd be asleep by now if it were still possible.

I laugh once more, shaking my head at my own ability to ruin my evening. "I wasn't expecting you to be so domestic."

"Domestic," Verando repeats back, testing the word. 

"Would you believe me if I said I was feeling a little self-conscious? You talk a good game, Mr.Mercer.. I admit I was-" Thinking of the phrasing, I cross my arms, lightly rubbing my biceps at the slight chill the thought brought to me. "I was worried you'd leap upon me and maybe not like what you see. That I might not.. perform.. well, it's been hard since you've been gone and I feel so damned out of practice."

Once more, I'm laughing; the more I laugh, the better I feel, letting my anxiety out with it. "I just spent the last twenty minutes wondering if you find me attractive, and you're folding laundry." 

"Are you upset about the laundry or..." His voice trails off, he's before me quicker than I can blink, his hand hovering as he waits to catch my gaze. Once I steal a glimpse, he gathers my cheek, slowly brushing his thumb against my cheekbone and offering me a kind smirk that dimples his cheek. "Would it help if I told you I was feeling similarly?"

"Liar." I sigh, hooking my fingers in his shorts, pulling him to stand between my legs so that I can press my cheek to his navel, fondling his ass in my hands as if somehow the gesture calmed me. "You haven't seemed the least bit timid."

Tracing his fingers through my hair, Verando shrugs lightly, "It is not my role to show uncertainty. Seems a touch silly to worry about these things when my time with you is short these days. I want to be whatever you need from me; I can acknowledge that the majority of these feelings are one-sided."

Raising an eyebrow, I tilt my head back, resting my chin on his stomach as I glare up at him. "Are you saying you know that I think you're attractive?"

Scoffing, Verando rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder he remains upright. The gesture has always been more dramatic than necessary. "Well, I'd surely hope so. Are you saying you don't?"

"No." I mumble, "but you could be less certain when I'm wondering how on earth you find me attractive at all." Jerking his shirt up, I expose the sculpted stomach with a pointed glare. "Look at you, you're damned flawless." Kissing his stomach, I sigh as I let his shirt fall over the top of my head in embarrassment, wrapping my arms around him to nuzzle against the abdominals I enjoyed so much. "I don't look like this, I don't look at all how I did when you met me."

"In your defense, you looked like a runty teenager when I met you, darling-"

I smack him on the ass, bringing a chuckle from his lips that makes me grin against his skin, kissing one of the dipped lines of his hips. "I just don't want to fall out of favor; you're running around with celebrities and gods; I think it's reasonable for my ego to be wounded. I was a damned king, now I'm practically a house wife, and not even a good one. All you've done since you've been back is clean up after us. Also, what is up with that? You clean more than any maid or servant, and I say that with as much adoration as I can spare."

"If you want clear answers, you're going to have to stop kissing me there, all I can think about is your mouth." Verando exhales, knotting his fist in my hair, pulling my head back to meet my gaze. I expose my tongue, earning a growl as he shoves my face into his crotch with a heavy sigh. I kiss him through his lycra shorts, feeling my libido starting to spark, remembering through this light-hearted conversation just how much he loved me. I'd needed this, to speak with him, to get to know him all over again, and remind myself of our dynamic.

"For starters, I've never been a fan of muscular-anything on a partner. Not to say that you aren't fit, but I like that you don't resemble Victor." 

Glaring up at him, he smirks at my defiance, making me grow bold as I kiss the bulge in his shorts. 

"Secondly, you still are a King, exhibited by what a spoiled brat you are in most instances. You're insufferable, but you're hot as fuck and it buys you a hell of a lot of grace." 

I grope him through his shorts, finding amusement in how outlandish he could be when he was indulging me. Licking over the length of his erection through the shorts, I grope him with one hand, massaging him while I kiss down the other side. 

"Lastly, I was raised by a woman who took great pride in her home. I've lived in poverty, but I know the feeling an orderly home gives in any situation. Pride in what you own, darling, it's a quirk of mine. Besides, I don't sleep and I can't possibly keep you beneath me all hours of the night. So, busying myself with the house seemed to be the most reasonable response. I can't rightly take you with children in our bed."

"So you're saying you're thinking about burying yourself in me when you're cleaning the house? Mr.Mercer, I'd say you're always in a state of organizing..." His confession pushes me back into the realm of desire, pulling me from the depths and reminding me exactly why I adored this man.

Gritting his teeth, Verando curses under his breath as I kiss the tip of his erection, hooking my fingers in his shorts. "Would you say you are satisfied with your answers? I'd very much like to jog your memory as to how much I desire you, but... if you must torture me longer to feel comfortable, I suppose I could endure."

"Don't you want to be clean first? We're both a mess-" 

"Oh for fuck's sake." Verando snarls, shoving his shorts down to spring free, pushing past my lips as he insists that I swallow him. I nearly gag, and yet my hands cling to his hips, bathing him with my tongue, sucking hard as my other hand grips the base of him. "Put your mouth to use; I've grown tired of your sass."

Releasing him with a gasp for breath, I'm about to retort when he buries himself into my throat once more, encouraging me with his hand as he exhales shakily. It feels as though I can hardly breathe, and yet it's as if I'm starved, taking as much of him as I can while trying to ward off the choking feeling as I feel him harden further in my mouth. "Nic.." He manages, cursing as I feel him quicken, thrusting down my throat to spill his release. 

I practically choke, pulling free as I cover my mouth to hide the attempt not to cough. "You better swallow every bit of that if you want more." Verando threatens, his voice low, hand still fisted in my hair as I glare up at him before obediently swallowing what hadn't spilled past my lips. Hooking his thumb in my mouth, he parts my lips, exposing my tongue with a smirk. "Good boy."

"Best thirty seconds of my life." I spit back, earning my favorite look as he pulls me to my feet, bending to kiss me. I shiver as his tongue invades my mouth, making me moan against his lips as I climb his body. Verando shoves me back onto the bed, grabs the bottle of lubricant out of the nightstand, and returns to me to meet my lips. 

I skirt my lips against his, invading his mouth, marveling at the taste of him as he strokes me with one hand. The other one supports him so that he may hover over my body, his hips between my legs as I quiver at the thought of him taking me. "Bold actions for a man out of practice." Verando challenges me, stroking my length, twisting his fist with each slide upward.

I writhed against him; my body was shockingly sensitive. "It's going to take you an hour to get hard again, plenty of time." I retort, gasping as he moves to sink his teeth into my neck, making me fist my hand in his hair as I tug at the roots. "Asshole." I manage as he laps at the injury, kissing under the crook of my jaw. 

 "You're so cheeky." Verando teases, amused as I squirm. I am so close, yet I am trying desperately to hold off, for I know the taunting that awaited me. "Go ahead and come, darling; I'm not nearly done with you."

As he commands, I find my release, panting against his lips as he kisses me once more, stroking me beyond the point of oversensitive as I whimper for him to stop. "Hold on. Give me a second." I plead, earning a chuckle as he brushes his nose against mine. 

"All fun and games until at your expense." He muses, sliding a finger inside of me, making me jerk at the suddenness of it. "You came all over the place, you really haven't touched yourself since I've been gone."

"Why would I? It doesn't compare, and you know it." I nearly accuse him, attempting to relax; my thighs shake as I resist the urge to pull away from the torment. Everything in me felt as though it was ablaze, my body in overdrive, only to feel as though I was being pushed over the edge as he attacked my sweet spot. "Now who's being cruel?" I manage through my teeth, gasping at the discomfort as he adds a second finger. 

"You're the one pulling me in with every stroke; it's killing me." Verando's low voice makes my breath catch. I crane my head back with a low groan as he moves his fingers within me, his lips finding my neck and jaw, while one of my hands moves to massage his chest. 

My thumbs skirt over his nipples, earning a breathless gasp from him as he straightens on his knees between my thighs. My hands never cease their torment, thumbing over those sinful studs, twisting and groping over them as they stiffen. "You're such a whore for your chest." I manage, yelping as he slides the third finger within me. 

"I was thinking the same thing about a different region." Verando retorts shortly, applying more lubricant to his fingers as I arch my back off the bed, it was almost more than I can stand between the discomfort and the applied pressure to my most sensitive region. My body didn't know if it wanted to come again or beg him to stop, I pinch his nipple, earning a low growl as I rock back against him. "Now who's acting sinful?"

"I want you inside of me." I beg, "Before our children come in here and we have to stop."

"Here?" He asks, placing one of his fingers into my mouth; I sink my teeth into the digit, unwilling to play this game. "So mean." He teases with a chuckle, his fingers leaving me to pull his shirt off his head and toss it; I marvel at the glorious glistening creature before me and swallow hard as I lay exposed beneath him. "Gods, you're beautiful." Verando exhales, making me shiver as I slide my hand between my legs, slipping my fingers inside myself as I tangle my other hand in my hair. 

"Please take me," I beg, desperate for friction, disappointed with the lack of depth compared to his own hand. "I don't care if it hurts; I want you." Everything inside me screamed for him, his scent filling my nose; his body didn't feel so cold now that I was tangled with him. 

I know he was reluctant, his resolve wavering, he was at the end of his tolerance. "I won't be kind, for I want you so badly I can hardly stand it. I've thought about you every moment that I've been gone; being home has been torturous. To lay beside you and feel this body... knowing it belongs to me and I can't have it... "The sultry hum of his voice sends me over the edge, I grab onto his length, stroking slowly, grinding my hips against his in whichever way I can manage. 

I'm out of my mind with desire, yet seeing the weapon between my legs, a sane side of myself might have second thoughts. How did that thing ever fit inside of me?

"Randy." I plead, placing my hand over my mouth as I feel him slide partly into me. It's so painfully slow, yet I feel I might not make it if he moves another inch. My free hand moves to press against his stomach, yet my legs firmly wrap around his hips to prevent him from escaping. 

I hear the low moan leave his lips; he lowers himself to meet me, pinning my hand over my head to expose my mouth so that he can crush his lips against mine. "I told you you needed more prep."

"Shut up." I hiss against his lips; I liked the discomfort; I could think around it; the thought of being reunited with him was too much of an endorphin rush to wish to forgo the discomfort any longer. "Didn't you promise me no mercy?"

Uncertain, he looks down at me, kissing my forehead with a sigh as his hand moves from supporting himself to gripping one of my thighs, pinning it up by my side. "Call it if it's too much, darling. I might be absolutely out of my mind, but I'm not an animal. I'll stop. Give me your other hand."

Obediently, I remove my hand from his stomach, placing it above my head as I feel the weight of him pinning me into the bed. "Kiss me." I manage, gasping as he fills me so completely.