I never thought I'd have to talk about this you know, I always thought that this book would be about how I'd be able to help others but then it helped me understand that I can't really help others when I myself ignore something's about me. Giving up isn't when you kill yourself, Giving up is when you decide that you are beyond fixing and that you will just ignore it.

From the past year, I've lost many things and one of them just so happened to be me, I got so caught up in being the perfect version of somebody else's expectations that I ended up hating myself. For the ones that don't know and that might be probably everyone that's reading the book, My sister jade killed herself two years ago because of the girls at her highschool bullying her and the teacher's giving up on her and I hate to admit it but for some reason I think that a part of me is responsible to. I gave up on her didn't I? I shouldn't have. I should have told our mom about how much she needs to talk to someone or at least I should have been there for her but I wasn't and I can't change that. And after that everything fell apart, My mom gave up and became distant from me, My dad became an alcoholic And I lived in a lie. All I did was go to school, Come back, Eat sleep and do the same thing again and then I discovered Wattpad. I liked the fact that no one here knew who I was or the fact that I don't have to lie over here but then it came crashing down. I had to leave for sometime and I gave up on me to. Everytime I see something that reminds me of the older me I end up throwing it or breaking it or just going back into the state of hate. I Just wanted a new shot at everything but then I realised that I have my friends, I have a book I can turn to I have a life to be Thankful of and then I started picking up the pieces of broken glass. 

But that doesn't fix everything does it? Just because something is broken doesn't mean it has to be fixed. I have to admit it that I still have parts of me that break down every time I see things that remind me of that time but now there are parts of me that know that without the past I wouldn't be in the present that I like. I want anyone that's reading this to know that just Because sometimes thing's go wrong it doesn't mean you should give up, You should take a step forward and then face the next steps with the best versions of yourself. And I know that sometimes you just feel that nobody will remember you or that nobody likes you, That's not true. I am here aren't I? I like you, And I am glad to know such a strong person. If anyone told me that I could go back to the past and fix whatever I did wrong then I would want to agree but then it would just happen in the present wouldn't it? The past does not define your present. 

What if you did give up? What if you gave up and no one even cared for that? It's not about what anyone else cares or thinks about you, It's about what you think about yourself. Do I still go and check my older profile and almost always cry because out of 509 Followers not one has remembered to even Post a "Hey? Are you okay" thing on my wall? Yes, And that is because that's my past and I don't hate it, I need to embrace my past in order to live in the present and so should you. Don't give up on yourself because of something that happened, don't give up on yourself because you think that you might be the reason that something happened. Don't give up on yourself cause if you do you will lose the part of yourself that might just never be back.

What about afterwards? The time that comes after the event, After you decided to not give up. That's for you to tell isn't it? It's you who gets to chose how you will write your story, The story where you didn't give up Or the story where you did but then started walking again. Remember, When you were a baby I don't think that you gave up the first time you fell down when you tried to walk did you? Nope. Your baby self decided that it's the boss and it shall walk and that's what your present self should think of when walking again.

Note: Hey, Me again. I know that might have not been really helpful to you but if it was then I am just happy to know that you didn't give up. If you did then remember, I am here for you and will help you to walk until you are able to walk again. I just want you to know that you are amazing, You Are a fighter and will emerge victorious. Always and forever ❤️