Chapter 5: Secret (Emma's POV)

"Mr. Cole, I need to go check on him, please," Brandon groaned. 

"No," Mr. Cole repeated, "But if you're really that concerned, Emma can go check on him." 

"Me?" I looked at him wide-eyed.

"You were his partner after all," he nodded. 

"Not for life," I mumbled, "But Mr. Cole, I barely know him," I said. 

"Then remain seated, if you're concerned about him, just go and check on him," he shrugged. 

I sighed, looking at Brandon. 'Go' he mouthed. 

"Where?" I whispered while standing up. 

"Back of the building," he mumbled. 

I stood up, taking my stuff with me and walking out of class. "Damn you, Nathan," I said under my breath before running. And I mean, running. From the way Brandon was concerned about him, I was almost sure he had a panic attack. He left in a frenzy anyway. I got to the back of the building, huffing, out of breath, gasping for air by the time I got there. 

I pushed the door open and looked left, then right, then down, seeing him sitting against the floor, smoking. "Oh, for fuck's sake, must you always run out?" I gasped, sitting beside him, leaning my head back. 

He eyed me weirdly for a moment before handing me a water bottle. I eyed the water suspiciously. "Relax, it's not alcohol or a drug," he rolled his eyes. I opened the bottle, chugging nearly half of it. "You'll choke and die," he said, taking it away from me, "I'm not gonna be held responsible for that too," he mumbled. 

I decided not to question him on what he just said. It must be about the accident. 

"Why did you run out?" I asked after catching my breath. 

"I don't know, it was weird," he said, killing the cigarette while exhaling, "You figured out too much about me." 

"So you ran? Seriously?" I deadpanned. 

"Seriously," he admitted sheepishly. We fell into silence and moments later, he pulled out another cigarette. 

"Can I try that?" I asked, reaching out for it. 

"No," he said, pulling it away from me. 

"Then don't do it in front of me, it's very tempting, it looks cool," I lied. I just wanted him not to do it, at least while I was here with him. 

He huffed, putting it back in his pocket. We fell into a long silence after that. "How do you figure out so much about a person just by looking at them?" he asked. 

I didn't look at him as I answered with a shrug. "I guess I'm just good at reading people." I'm about to push my luck. "And uh, I know about the accident." 

"Do you know who was with me in the car?" he asked calmly. I expected him to freak out but thank god he didn't. 

"No, just that they didn't make it out alive. I'm sorry that that happened to you," I said, finally looking at him. 

"It was my fault, why are you sorry?" he asked, turning to me. 

"Was it your fault?" I asked, not finding that convincing. "You were what, 16?" 

He nodded, "Driving on a learner's license." 

I nodded in understanding. "Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to offend you," I started, turning to look at him, "But people live and people die. You can't always brood in their misery. Even if it supposedly is your fault," I said. 

"But it was my fault." 

"But it's already happened. And I'm sure it happened for a reason. Anyway, that's your thing, I won't interfere, it's none of my business," I shrugged, dusting my jeans. 

"It was supposed to be a secret," he mumbled. 

"What was?" I asked. 

"I was." I looked at him in confusion. "You figured out things about me, just by watching me, that a lot of people don't know." 

"That's cause you don't let people in, which once again, is none of my business," I replied, "But a person can't be a secret, only things about them can," I said, squinting as the sun shone down on us over the building, peeking through. 

"You're very good at finding out about secrets then," he sighed. 

"It's a gift and a curse," I shrugged. 

"A curse?" he asked. 

"It's mostly intuition and observation, which once led me to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend," I shrugged. 

"Ouch," he mumbled. 

"No, he was a dick, it's fine," I chuckled, "So it's a gift and a curse. But only a gift when I can help someone with it. I can help you," I said.

"With what?" 

"With getting your ass back to class," I laughed. 

He shook his head, "We've got 15 minutes left, what's the point?" I also remained seated with him, brooding in my silence and his misery. He really seems miserable with himself if anything. I don't like that for him. 

"You had a panic attack, didn't you?" I questioned cautiously. 

He nodded softly, "But I got it in control," he lied. He's a horrible liar. Or I just know when he's lying. 

"Cigarettes aren't a real solution," I said, watching him carefully. "How long have you been smoking?" 

"1 and a half years, I think." 

"Why do you do it?" 

"It calms me down." 

"During panic attacks?" 

"I have too many panic attacks in a day to only use breathing techniques to calm myself down," he scoffed, shaking his head. 

"So, don't use breathing techniques." He's gonna think I'm crazy for saying that. 

"What?" he asked. 

"Just... kiss someone." That actually works, I promise, I'm not just saying that from seeing it in movies or shows. 

"Are you out of your mind?" he laughed dryly. 

"I'm serious. When you kiss someone, you hold your breath, when you hold your breath during a panic attack, your breathing slows down and gets into control, and then because you can breathe, you don't panic. It works, I swear," I chuckled. 

"And who am I gonna kiss?" he questioned, raising a brow at me. 

"Whoever is around," I shrugged. He shook his head, biting back a smile. 

Why does he do that? Hold it back? 

"You should be friends with me, Nathan," I said, staring at my shoes, then his, seeing how much longer his legs were than mine. "You won't regret it," I smirked. 

"I don't make friends," he repeated. 

I rolled my eyes, "Stop with your shitty dialogue. You could use one," I said. 

"I have one, Brandon," he replied. 

"You could use one more," I turned to him, "What do you say? Friends? Come on, I even helped you right now." 

"No," he shook his head. He's a stubborn prick. 

"Come on, friends?" I asked again, sticking my hand out. 

"Don't push your luck," he said, giving me a subtle glare. 

"Why the hell does luck exist if I'm not supposed to push it?" I arched a brow at him. Silence. "Okay, if not you, then I could use a friend. I'm the new girl, have some sympathy." When one trick doesn't work, you explore other ones. It's basic math. Substitution. 

"I'm not a very good friend." He sounded like that's what he genuinely meant. Like he doesn't believe he's a good friend. 

"Well, we'll train each other to be the bestest friends anyone has ever seen. Come on, please, Nathan? Please?" I asked. 

He looked down at me, his eyes scanning my face. "How did you get that?" he asked, his finger brushing against my brow. 

"I hit my head on a table when I was 4, cut myself," I answered. 

"And the bump on your nose?" he asked, tracing that with his finger too. 

I gasped, "I hate that you noticed that," I groaned, "Uh, I ran into a glass door. Twice. When I was 3. Within 48 hours," I laughed, running my hand through my hair. 

"It suits you, I like it," he nodded. 

"I'm glad you like the bump on my nose? Friends, Nathan?" I asked, sticking my hand out again. 

"Am I gonna regret this?" he sighed. 

"You might if you fall in love with me," I grinned. 

He rolled his eyes in response, "Yeah, right." 

"Friends?! I won't take no for an answer and it's only a yes if you shake my hand," I huffed. 

He shook my hand, "Friends." 

"There we go, that's a start," I sang teasingly. 

"I'm already regretting it," he said, standing up and dusting himself off.

"You're gonna love me," I laughed, picking up my bag while he already went inside as I heard the bell echoing through the building. He kept walking, staring straight ahead of him. "You're gonna love me, Nathan. And by the end of it, hopefully, yourself too," I said to myself, dusting my hands before heading to my next class. Psychology. 

Let's see if Nathan shows up for this one because yes, I have this class with him as well. I stopped by at my locker to grab my books and went into class, taking the same seat I took yesterday. Someone else is also in this class with me. It's not Brandon or Kendall... it's Liam. Oh, it's Liam... 

I was sitting there, looking for a pencil in my bag. I groaned, throwing my hair up in a messy bun when it got in the way. 

"Is this seat taken?" 

"No," I said without looking. 

"Thanks." Wait, I know that voice. 

"Sorry, the seat's taken." I definitely know that voice.

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Chapter 5

Someone messaged me and asked me who my favorite romance authors are IRL so not from Wattpad and they also asked me for recommendations so:

1. Colleen Hoover- her books are a little more touching, a little sadder and heartfelt but they're super cute, the couples are beautiful, and the build-up is always worth it, especially because the characters have such good build-up AND she writes both POVs.

2. Christina Lauren- their books, yes, they're a duo, are a lot more funny, witty, have a little more sex/sexual tension between their couples but the characters are ALWAYS my favorite cause it's always funny and sassy and I love their books too.

Recs:

Colleen Hoover:

All Your Perfects

It Ends With Us

Ugly Love

November 9

literally all of them

Christina Lauren:

The beautiful series- all of them are AMAZING

The unhoneymooners

sweet filthy boy

Feel free to ask me for more by other authors IRL