Chapter 27: Darkest hour (Emma's POV)

I was looking for my phone when there was a knock on my door. "Come in!" I said while throwing the blanket around. 

"Hey," I heard his voice. 

"Hi," I said without turning to look at him. 

"What are you looking for?" he questioned. 

"My phone," I groaned, lifting the blanket, witnessing my phone fall out of it, heading for the floor. He caught it in time. "Thanks," I grinned, taking it from him. 

"No problem," he smiled. 

"Did you need something?" I asked, plugging my phone on charge. 

"I wanted to talk to you." 

Oh? 

"What's up?" I asked, standing in front of him. 

"What's up? Uh, I wanna get to know you," he shrugged. 

I chuckled, "Are you serious?" 

"Yeah, I'm serious," he nodded, taking a step closer to me. 

"Okay," I said, biting back a laugh but taking a step back. He grabbed my shirt and pulled it forward, using it to pull me closer. I looked at him in disbelief. 

"You said we need to know each other better in order to kiss each other. So technically, I'm just trying to kiss you." 

"Rome wasn't built in a day," I retorted. 

"No, but we've gotta start someday, right?" he arched a brow at me. 

I sighed, nodding at him. "Okay, what do you wanna know?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed when he let go of my shirt. That was uh... weirdly... hot. 

"I wanna know... your biggest secret," he said, plopping down beside me. 

"That's just unfair if I don't get to hear yours," I said, shooting him a pointed look. 

"True," he nodded. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine." 

"You will? Really?" He nodded again. "Okay, my biggest secret is... Even though I act very happy, and I am. I'm not saying I'm not. I get very... lonely. All the time," I said, not looking at him, but staring at the carpeted floor instead. "And it used to be so bad that I had to take meds. From a therapist." I took a deep breath, turning to him. "Your turn." 

He stared at me for a minute before sighing. "My biggest secret is that... I actually really hate myself and I've done a lot of things wrong. Some of them, I can never make up for. And that really makes me hate myself," he shrugged. 

"Next uh... next question?" I chuckled awkwardly. We're not gonna comment on what the other person just said, that's a given. 

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"Nathan, we should go to sleep, it's almost 3," I whispered, rubbing my eyes sleepily. 

"Hmm, it's the darkest hour of the night," he chuckled. 

"And we just had the darkest conversation of the millennium, come on, get to bed," I said. We just spoke about... everything. Our fears, our likes, our dislikes, what we've been through. The only thing he doesn't open about is Chloe. 

I know so much more about him. In this one night. I know his favorite and least favorite food, I know his favorite and least favorite type of music too, I know pretty much all there is to know. I hope. He told me a lot about how things were for him while growing up. 

I learned that his parents got divorced when he was around 3 years old. His mom lives in London but she's always traveling back and forth between London and Paris where she runs her company and works in sync with a modeling agency. I learned that he goes to visit his mom every so often but it's been reduced lately because he felt like if his mother doesn't make efforts to see him, he shouldn't be putting in the extra effort either. 

And I agree. 

It's kind of how things are with me and my dad but both of us go see each other whereas his mom doesn't try and now he doesn't feel like he should either. 

"Nathan, I think we've gotten to know everything we want the other person to know, all right? I think you need to go to sleep," I chuckled. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Chloe," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

I turned to him where both of us lay on my bed. "I'm not asking you to tell me about her, you don't owe it to me. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I replied. 

"I do though," he groaned, "I do wanna tell you, I just can't bring myself to do it." 

"Then you can tell me later. When it's not so hard for you to talk about it, hmm?" I asked. 

"It'll never get easy," he scoffed. 

I sighed, thinking about what to say. "Then you never have to tell me." 

He looked at me in disbelief. "You'd be okay with that?" 

I shrugged, "It's part of your past, and it seems like an important one at that, but if you don't want people knowing about it, or me knowing about it, then you don't have to tell me. I care about you and who you are now. Your past only matters because it makes you who you are, but it doesn't define you," I explained. 

He didn't say anything, just kept staring at me. "Emma," he sighed, shaking his head. 

"Nathan?" I asked. 

"I really wanna kiss you," he chuckled, running his hands over his face. 

"Hmm, maybe another time," I narrowed my eyes at him. We fell into silence and when I looked at him to show him out of here, he was already asleep. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I rolled over onto my side and closed my eyes, dozing off. 

I groaned, the sound of my alarm pouring through my ears in the morning. I rubbed my eyes, patting my nightstand, fishing around for my phone aimlessly. "Shut up," I said to my alarm, finally getting a hold of my phone and turning the alarm off. I sighed, ruffling my hair before I pulled it back in a ponytail once I sat up. 

I turned to Nathan who was still dead asleep beside me. I patted his arm but he was still knocked out. "Hey," I said, ruffling his hair. "Hello, sleepy boy," I laughed, doing it again. "Wake up," I said as he looked up at me, "It's time for school. And for you to get out of my bed before my mom sees you." 

"I don't have a problem with her seeing me," he mumbled, hugging the pillow tighter and rolling onto his stomach. 

"Hey, hello, hi," I said, shaking him. "We have to get dressed for school, your stuff is in the guest room, go." 

He groaned, looking up at me, squinting at the light pouring through the window. He ruffled his own hair while propping himself up onto his elbows. "I don't wanna go," he mumbled, collapsing back onto my pillow. 

"You gotta do what you gotta do, come on. It's only Tuesday, still got three days to go till the weekend." 

He cried, closing his eyes, "I'm going back to sleep." 

"No, you're not. You're getting up and ready for school," I spoke slowly. 

He complained but got up and climbed out of my bed. "Can I drive your car?" he asked while pulling his shirt over his head. 

"Sure," I nodded, heading for the shower. 

"Cool, see you at breakfast," he said, his voice hoarse as he left the room and headed for the guest room. 

I grabbed my clothes, a red crew neck with a pair of boyfriend jeans, and then hit the shower. I got ready, grabbed my stuff, and then went downstairs where Nathan was already sitting and talking to my mother. Can't wait to hear what their conversation was about. Knowing my mom and Nathan, she was probably saying something embarrassing about me and he was probably enjoying it and hearing more stories from her. 

"I seriously hope you guys aren't talking about me because one of you will be dead tonight," I said, walking up to the counter and grabbing a plate. "And it won't be you mommy dearest," I said, kissing her cheek and smiling fakely at Nathan.

"Oh, what? She tells me your embarrassing stories but I get in trouble?" he scoffed. 

"That depends on what stories she told you and how much you enjoyed them," I retorted, sitting beside him. 

"She told me a lot and for the record, I enjoyed them very much," he smirked. 

"Then you better sleep with one eye open tonight," I shrugged. 

Not too long after that, we headed out for school. "Emma," he cleared his throat while driving, his eyes trained on the road. 

"Hmm?" I asked while shuffling through my bag, making sure I brought my homework I worked on last night. 

"Can I take you out this weekend?" 

"This weekend?" I asked, looking at him. 

"Yeah, we can go to the fair." 

"This town has a fair?" I don't remember that. 

"It's the pre-October fair. You probably don't know about it, they started doing it like 2 years ago," he said. "But they organize this whole fair thing. It's the last week of September so it's meant to get the town in the Halloween spirit, I guess. They just call it the Fun Fall Fair, though. And it is fun. They set it up near the Ferris wheel and everything." 

"That abandoned Ferris wheel? They made it work?" I laughed. 

"Yeah, it works as good as new now."

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Chapter 27

I wish I lived in a small town that held Fall fairs like that.

It's a whole aesthetic of couples going to a fall fair, I'm telling you. and I want to live in that aesthetic so badly.

next chapter: cotton candy