SIX

Tonight was the first performance. Phil was nervous, to simply put it. But to be more specific, he was on the verge of violently shitting himself. The only time he ever got up on a stage was for mathalons or other nerdy school activities that required his help. Never did he ever audition for any performance at all his whole life.

And now, as a young adult, he was going to sing in front of thousands of people in a place he'd never been to and a band he's only properly known for a week.

Phil was currently in the bathroom, training himself to breathe and attempting to do vocal warm ups without throwing up. The rest of the group was in the dressing room, finishing up their looks of the night. Phil sighed and sat down, running a hand through his hair.

The thing is, Phil had always been a pessimist, and that flaw never failed to ruin his barely-existing life. He always assumed the worst would happen, freaking out over nothing when it came down to it. Or he'd set people out to be mean when they're not and pushed them away, therefore losing the possibility of a relationship. The only reason he had managed to get so close to Max was because Max understood.

Him and Max were both full of anxiety and self-doubt, but Max was more outgoing than him and always encouraged Phil to meet people- that the world isn't such a scary place. Of course, that advice doesn't always work, like right now. He can hear the crowd chanting the band's name, hear his name morphing into the noise. He takes a deep breath, and there's a pounding at the door.

"Phil? Are you alright? We're on in less than five minutes. The opening band just finished. . ." It was Miles. Phil opened his mouth to speak but no words came out, and he gave up and held his head in his hands. "I'm gonna come in, okay?" The door opened and Phil looked up.

"Do you know how to pick locks too?" Phil flabbergasted. Miles sat next to him.

"No, your dumbass left the door unlocked."

"Oh."

Miles giggled and ruffled his hair. "What's up? Are you gonna be sick?"

"I don't know," Phil mumbled. There was a pause. "Miles, I don't think I can do this."

His friend was about to say something when Dan's voice came over the speakers. "Are you guys ready?" The crowd screams. "I said, are you guys ready?" He repeats louder, and the crowd responds with more volume as well. "Now, tonight is the first night of the show! I except all of you, especially you, to make this an admirable show! Can I count on you?" The crowd shouts again, and then the lights go out.

"That's our cue, bud. I'm sorry you don't have more time to calm down. After the show, you pick where we eat. That's my best offer. But you have to start believing in yourself. I know it's not that easy, Phil, trust me. But you have to take care of yourself, because at times, you're all you have. They'll love you, we love you, I love you. Now let's give them more than they bargained for."

Phil smiled and nodded, and Miles pulled him from the bathroom. They stumble into Dan and Cassidy, and Dan stares at him for a bit before responding, "Nice look."

"Thanks. I like your crop top," Phil replied sheepishly.

"Me too," Dan responded, and Phil held back the urge to giggle. "Welcome to the band, loser." They form a group hug, and walk out in the darkness, and Phil goes to the microphone.

"Hello everybody, I'm Cassidy, as some of you may know. Now I believe we've told you we have a new guest?" The crowd freaks out, chanting Phil's name. "I don't know, Miles, should we show them?"

"I think we might as well," Miles teases. And a light turns on, but a single one. A spotlight, directly on Phil and only Phil. The crowd starts shouting things.

"HE'S SO CUTE! I'D DIE FOR YOU!"

"ARE YOU SINGLE?"

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

"PAY MY TUITION!"

Phil laughs awkwardly, then feels an arm snake around his shoulders. And then, a kiss is pressed against his cheek. He instantly blushes when he notices it's Dan. "Isn't he adorable?" Dan says, squeezing his cheeks. He backs up "One, two, three!"

The music starts, and Phil is singing. And the crowd loves it.

  ♪

Phil's throat is burning when the show is over. The lights go back out and the band members thank the audience. His ears are still ringing from the loud music, sweat dripping down his face. He pushes his hair back with his hand, nearly panting.

The group shuffles into the dressing room, getting changed into less disgusting clothes while praising Phil. For once, Phil feels relevant, and his face hurts from smiling as he stares at himself in the mirror. For once, he's proud of what he sees. He's proud of himself. Zach, the manager, hurries into the room and [somehow] picks up Phil. He sets him back down, patting at his cheeks.

"You did great today, kid! I livestreamed the whole things! Addicted has got thousands of new fans just from this one show! They love you!"

"Thank you," Phil fumbled, chuckling breathlessly. "What do I do now?"

"Now you go say hi to your new fans. They're all waiting outside for pictures and autographs. If any of them ask for a kiss, just say you're taken. They'll freak out wanting to know who it is, but keep quiet. It'll stir some attention."

"But I am tak-" Dan cuts him off by pointing out the fans are getting restless, and once they're all ready, they shuffle outside. The crowd instantly starts surrounding them, asking for pictures and autographs and expressing their admiration. As Zach said, a few people do ask for a kiss for a picture, but he says he's taken. They ask who, he says it's a secret.

Afterwards they celebrate at a bar, Phil voluntarily getting drunk this time and dancing around with his new friends.If he said he didn't feel bad for keeping Max a secret, he would've been lying. But this was show business now, and that didn't mean he didn't really like Max.

Max. Phil takes a breath, realizing he hadn't said anything. He goes outside and calls him.

"Hello?"

"Max! We finished our show! They loved me!"

"I know, I saw the whole thing. I watched the livestream. You did amazing! But you sound a bit funny, are you alright?"

"I'm celebrating! I've had a few drinks is all."

"Okay well please be safe, Phil. You're really important to me and I don't want to lose you."

Phil replied simply and ended the call, not realizing that Max didn't really mean losing him physically. If Max had seen the entire livestream, he saw that kiss too. And Max knew he was already losing him.