Letting go is like medicine. We drink it despite its bitter taste; in order to heal.

—Anonymous

❥⁠˙⁠๑

Him

He dismisses a breath of relief as he stands at the threshold of his home sweet home. Mist appears as the weather is cold, mixing into the air and disappearing in a moment. He enters the gates and is welcomed by a maid who bows before him as soon as she catches a sight of him.

Acknowledging her, he moves inside. His gaze remains on the stairs as he makes his way up to their room when Barak comes from behind, calling him.

He turns to smile at his boy.

"Welcome home, Daddy!" He comes to him with a drawing file. "How was your day?" He asks excitedly.

"Good. What about yours?" He leaves the strap of his bag and crouches beside his son to match their level.

"Very good! Today I made a drawing of our family and I wanna show you that!" He immediately opens his drawing file and shows Adam a page where he drew himself with his parents.

Adam stares at the picture. Barak points at the picture and says, "This is you." Adam smiles, watching his son proceed with another character. "This is me," he continues, putting his finger on the last character, saying, "And this is Mama!"

Adam caresses his son's cheek, adoring the picture in his eyes.

"How's it, Daddy?"

"Beautiful."

"Mama said the same." He grins, looking behind himself. Adam follows his gaze as Evalena comes to stand behind Barak, folding her arms on her chest. Adam smiles at her but Evalena returns it with blankness. Adam gets confused, however, Barak snatches his attention.

"I made another drawing and there's Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle An, and Aunt Elle, too! Would you see?"

"Of course. But lemme change first. Then I'll see your drawings, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy!"

He goes upstairs with his bag while Evalena stays downstairs with Barak, taking care of him. He comes after changing into comfy wear and asks Evalena for a cup of coffee while he sits with Barak to fulfill his promise of checking his drawing book.

"Daddy," Barak calls him softly while Adam is turning a page.

Adam hums, looking up from the page. He meets with the innocent bright blue eyes of his son.

"My teacher talked about a meeting at school."

Though Barak doesn't know how to explain himself, Adam gets the point in an instant and says, "Oh, I got it. Parents-teacher meeting, right?"

"Yes."

"So what's your wish?" Adam smiles gently, putting aside the book. He hears the gentle sound of Evalena approaching them. He knows she is with a cup of coffee as he asked, so he stretches out his hand to receive it like he does every time but to his confusion repeated, she puts the cup before him and leaves the living room without saying anything.

While Barak is busy fidgeting his fingers, contemplating how he should give out his wish, Adam looks over his shoulder at Evalena who is no more there in his sight. He frowns in distaste. Evalena has been behaving differently, after all. He needs to talk to her.

"Will you please talk to her parents?" Barak asks, getting his father's attention.

"Which girl?"

"My classmate." Barak shrugs. "Even though I'm trying to be good, she keeps teasing me. Today, she said that I'm not your son."

Adam falls silent for a moment while tears brimmed Barak's eyes. "Because I don't have dark hair like you or Mama, but blond," he continues, hiccuping, and soon starts crying.

Adam pulls him closer in his arms and strokes his back. "She's just a kid, forgive her. But you're my son, okay? No judgment should matter to you. You're my child whom I love dearly," says Adam, kissing his temple.

Barak peeks at his father through his big watery eyes. "Why does she do it anyway? I don't like her at all," he complains in anguish.

Adam smiles gently at the child. We all are somehow the same. He, too, used to complain in his childhood so he could stay away from Nora because she was such a talkative girl and shared a few similarities with Adam.

Seeing Barak always complaining about a girl in his class, he feels like he's watching his childhood being repeated once again. However, Nora wasn't cruel enough to judge him this brutally. But who can scold a naive child? He believes that the girl will learn by the time she grows up.

"Forgive her, Barak."

"How many times should I forgive her?"

"As long as you shall live," Adam says casually but seriously, "You have to forgive every time just like Jesus forgives you every time. Don't see the ways of others but see how Jesus walked on the earth. Be like Him, not like the people around you."

"But the more I try to be good, the more she annoys me."

"This is a sign that they don't want you to be like Him. And this is a sign that you're walking right because the world hates what's loved by God and the world welcomes what's disgusting in God's eyes. Unless they too see what God wants, they'll stand against you."

"And if they also start seeing God's will?"

"Then they'll surely support you. For whoever isn't with God is against God and whoever doesn't gather with Him, loses everything eventually."

"How can I make them want and see what God wants?"

"By loving them unconditionally because love covers a multitude of sins. What can't be conquered by anything can be conquered by love. Do it, without expecting anything in return because God also loved us the same way. Be selfless and give with a cheerful heart. Never get tired of loving because this is the only thing that makes you the child of God. Always return to the way of love. This is a fruit of His Spirit that you shall reap by time and Jesus will help you with it."

After Adam feels that he has spoken enough to be accepted by his son, he stops and wonders if he has spoken too much to be taken up because Barak remains silent.

He gently wipes away his tears and holds his cup of coffee to take sips. "And about talking to her parents, I'll do it for you," he says after a long pause, looking down at his son.

"Daddy," Barak calls, and Adam hums. He says, "Always speak to me the will of God so I never forget what He wants."

Adam smiles, agreeing in an instant because letting the Word and Law of God be written on the hearts is necessary so that you never forget Him and go astray, hurting Him. Even if He never forces His will upon us, we should let His deep love compel us to do His will that brings peace and joy in our lives because nothing can satisfy a human but God's presence in life.

❥⁠˙⁠๑

The same night after he and Evalena come out of their prayer room, and he knows that she will go to bed without speaking a word to him, he stops her by holding her wrist and turns her around, asking, "What's bothering you?"

Perhaps making her speak would have become more difficult if they had not spent some time together in the holy presence of the Lord but right after a single question, he waits for an answer because he knows she will answer him.

"A few things about what I don't wanna talk about tonight."

She again turns to leave when he pulls her back, rather closer than before that only a gap of an inch remains between their faces.

Getting affected, she inhales a deep breath but Adam doesn't care even a bit. "Why?" He asks firmly, tilting his head to sink into her pupils but the intensity of the look in his eyes makes her lower her gaze.

"Because I'm t-tired. I haven't taken a rest the entire day at all."

Though she stuttered, Adam knew she didn't lie to him. He wants to know because somewhere in his heart, the change in her bothers him. He is getting used to everything. He is getting used to her. She is becoming a part of him and seeing your own piece rebelling against you makes you restless. Because not the world around, but your loved one's silence and pain affect you to the core and trouble your heart.

Hesitantly, he leaves her wrist and they part ways. She moves to bed while he goes to the couch, grabbing a book from a collection.

"Aren't you coming to sleep?" She asks, her voice is soft and low in silence.

"Not yet," he answers, indulging in reading after he wears his glasses.

❥⁠˙⁠๑

"I understand and I'll take care of her. Excuse me now."

The doctor nods her head and on cue, Adam leaves her presence. He goes upstairs quickly to check on his wife and as soon as he is in the corridor, he can hear the sound of her frustrated cry that worries him even more.

He jogs to their room and halts at the door when a sharp and ear-piercing sound of breaking glass meets his ears. Harmful shards of the broken glass shatter upon the floor, reaching his feet. Mixed with them, he finds spilled juice on the floor and as he lifts his head, he meets her pale face.

"Don't you understand at all? Can't you hear me? I don't want this all. Get out!" Nora screams, tears streaming down her pink face.

"Nora," Adam calls, getting her quick attention.

She smiles helplessly at the sight of his face. "Adam, you came! Please, make them leave. They're talking nonsense about my baby and they say that I'm ill but I'm not," she utters, pointing at one of the maids whose head is bowed down.

Adam doesn't follow her gesture at all but at his one command, everybody leaves. Once the door is closed, he walks up to his wife and sits in front of her.

"Nora, you have to understand," he begins softly, holding her weak hands. Nora watches him, a frown on her face as she is afraid he might repeat the same things she has heard from the maids.

"That our child is no more." As soon as he stops, Nora releases her hands with a jerk and pushes him on his chest. The force is very feeble to get away from him.

"Why are you lying to me?" She yells. "Stop lying! My baby's alright. Y'all are hiding it from me!" Next, she cries bitterly, begging him to stop doing it—hiding her child from her.

She holds her hands. "Please Adam, have mercy on your wife. Have mercy. Please, give me my baby."

"You saw her, Nora."

"It wasn't real."

"It was real," he says and holds her face, making her look at him. Eyes filled with tears attack his heart as the pain he was holding until now starts burning his insides.

"You have to believe it, Nora. Our child is no more." He swallows. "Your lack of belief will harm our future. Please, try to understand, love."

More tears roll down her cheeks, wetting his palm as the realization starts to sink into her. Small whimpers soon turn into painful sobs as she cries her heart out.

He hugs her, stroking her back while he cries silently. He can't let himself be shattered like others around him. At least for Nora. He is the only one who is close enough to hold her firmly while she's breaking.

"I don't want any of them to be around me, Adam. They're cruel," she complains between her cries. "Take me home. I wanna stay with Mom."

"I will." He promises.

Minutes pass and finally, when she feels light, she breaks his embrace. He takes care of her, giving her food and medicine. After she has gained some strength as a few days pass, Adam takes her home where his mother takes care of her.

Being home gives her comfort and she forgets the tragedy. They came back, but Adam had to give his resume to another place because he had to give up on his job in order to stay at home for more than six months.

Nora was guilty but Adam made her understand that for him, it was something very normal. Family came first for him and he believed that God would make a way for him if he had found favor in His eyes. All he had to do was to walk righteously.

"How was it?" She asks, giving him a cup of coffee for which he asked.

"By His grace, it went well. I can join from tomorrow."

"I'm glad to know." She passes him a smile. He smiles back, sipping his coffee. They sit silently, staring at the trees outside which are running leafless because of the coming of fall.

Adam puts an arm around her, pulling her closer, and caresses her cheek. "Something is bothering you," he says.

"How can you read me so easily?"

"Ask the Lord Almighty, Janem, why did He make humans like this. That when they come closer, they become one."

"What am I to question Him?"

He sighs, putting down the cup. "Then tell me what it is?" He tries again, running his thumb down her chin. Touching her feels soothing to his soul that just longs for a touch.

"The same feeling, Adam." She sighs. "You're such a nice man that I'm afraid of each coming second that it'll tear us apart."

She lowers her gaze, biting her bottom lip in nervousness. This is another time she has put her concern forth and she is afraid of his answer that he might scold her, even though every time, he made her understand with gentleness.

"Nothing can separate us but death."

"And if death comes?"

He falls silent because no insane or bookish answer can bring her comfort and satisfaction. After all, who can stand against something that's God's will?

"Why are you saying such things, first of all?"

She shrugs. "Promise me that you'll have a partner and live."

Even though they had none to disturb them, Adam did not answer her. He looked away, afraid of everything all of a sudden, especially the thought of losing her. He has loved her dearly, unconditionally. If this happens, forgetting her would be so hard but why would this happen in the first place?

But he never knew the next. The closest to his heart was going to be taken away. Loss to be born was waiting for him. Loved ones should be cherished each second. We never know when separation will come.