Through brokenness, He creates beauty. Why do we delay then?

—H

❥⁠˙⁠๑

Her

Her husband is a sight to behold.

She divulges it. She knows her spouse is very handsome and has that manly aura that can draw in anyone's gaze. Like the moon that summons you to look at it for once. Just for once? And you lose it. Your eyes betray. That's how his aura operates. He doesn't need to speak, his presence is enough that demand attention and they merrily submit to it.

She knows how we all are made.

With soil, we are made. But in his case, she thinks conceivably the clay was kneaded with rosewater.

He is amicable and warm. His smile is like a glimpse of the sun in winter days. His eyes accompany that smile. When he does, the skin around his eyes creases and the dip in his cheeks allures anyone to steal occasional glances.

She can't help but think of his eyes once again. Pools of honey in paradise.

Oh, her heart faints every time she thinks of them. Those eyes are enchanting. Will hypnotize you. Lure you into an idyll if you wonder if it even exists. Those honey spheres, dusted with gold from above will propel you into a charm of the first heaven, will show you a glimpse of the second heaven, and will put you before the very gates of the third heaven.

They are magical, so beautiful and so bewitching, that now Evalena feels envious of any stranger who would look into his eyes even accidentally.

She nibbles on her bottom lip, the sudden thought disrupts her.

How many would have looked into them already? Get mesmerized? Passed him a smile?

She feels a pang of jealousy hitting her heart just by thinking of it. And soon the pang vanishes as she learns she has no right to be jealous of others.

What right does she have on him? They are wedded for the world but only they know what goes between them behind closed doors. She wonders if Adam would give her a chance.

"Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"Have I... have I really l-lost your trust?" She steals her gaze to the ground as he turns to glance at her. Suddenly the book in his hand has lost all attention to Evalena.

Silence prevails between them as Adam takes some time to answer her. He sighs, the sound of which reaches her through the thick stillness. She waits for him as he turns back and she catches a glimpse of hurt in his eyes. However, the darkness around conceals it and his eyes fall back upon the book.

"Put a hand on your chest, Eva—where your heart resides—and then, ask yourself. You'll know the answer better than my words can tell."

And she knew what he meant.

"Lena?"

The call cracks her trance. She grips her mobile and steals a glance at her friend who is walking beside her. She hums, signaling her friend to continue.

"I said take care. What were you thinking?" her friend adds with a smile, patting her shoulder.

Evalena nods. "You too. I just zoned out."

"I see. But don't zone out often!" She waves her goodbye before parting ways.

Evalena walks out only to find her husband leaning against his car, waiting for her. His arms fold on his chest, sleeves of his dark brown jacket roll up to his elbows. Autumn has arrived and the chill breeze cuts through her fair delicate skin. She hugs herself, moving ahead.

Through the window of his car, she notices Barak who is grinning at her, waving his hand. She waves back with a grin.

"How was your day, Mama?" Barak chirps, gripping the window frame as his mother nears them.

"Very good." She cups his face, flicking his nose tip. "What about yours?"

"Mine too! My classmate was absent today. I had fun!"

Evalena chuckles. No doubt he talks about the same girl he claimed to hate once. He still does, trying to learn his father's ways.

"I'm so glad to know that my little boy enjoyed his day at school."

They get inside the car. Adam drives silently while Evalena and Barak talk to each other. A smile on Adam's lips tells her that he listens to their cute conversation but doesn't cut in.

After an intersection, Barak catches a food shop where he insists on a pizza. Adam doesn't decline. He allows him for that and goes to get him what he wants.

"You, Eva?" He asks, leaning forward as his elbow perches upon the window frame.

The side of his face glows under that tangerine tint of evening sun. His eyes are like a look of mouthwatering mango sap in summer. The smile on his lips faints her heart and a few of his strands fall over his forehead, the tips kissing his eyebrows. Her fingers itch to brush them away, yearning for skin-to-skin contact but she resists.

"Pizza," she answers, voice low.

"Okay." He walks away and comes back with two bear pizzas and two chocolate drinks. Soft and warm, what anyone would prefer on autumn days.

He hands them their orders but Evalena refuses to have a choco drink, preferring water after the pizza. Adam doesn't insist, on having the warm chocolate drink for himself. He enjoys small sips while driving and Evalena is stealing glances at him while having her small pizza.

No matter how close he sits or how often he is before her eyes, she is not getting enough of it. Why does it feel so stupid? Because even if they are right in front of each other, their hearts are a mile away.

"Daddy," Barak calls.

Adam arches a brow, catching a look through the rearview mirror. Barak grins, saying, "Mama wants your drink."

Right there her eyes widen. Adam looks at her, wondering if she really wants the drink. Then Barak goes to clarify, "Mama's been staring at you. Nobody can deny choco!"

"N-No, I don't want that." She shakes her head.

A smirk adorns Adam's lips. He hides it, tilting his head.

"Oh! I thought so."

"It's okay, my love." And she hurriedly looks out through the window, not wanting anybody to catch the pink hues on her cheeks. How often others would catch her staring at her husband?

Taking a bite, she steers her brain through old memories. Either way, Adam is in her mind.

❥⁠˙⁠๑

"Sweetie, how long are you going to take?"

Her mother's call interrupts her. She looks behind. The door is closed and she knows her mother calls her from downstairs.

"Just a second, Mom!"

She turns back and continues combing her hair. Hurriedly. She tugs those dark strands behind her ear, running her palms through her floral dress. She pats her cheeks and then applies a layer of gloss. She smacks her lips when her mother calls her once again.

"Mom, another second!"

She dusts her dress once again though it is very clean but who can make this teen understand?

Sweet sixteen has arrived and the man next door is her childhood crush. She is going to fetch him something and just for that, she is checking herself over and over again. Her naive heart isn't letting her sigh in satisfaction.

Taking a deep breath after she thinks she is ready to meet him, she leaves her room. She walks downstairs, and finds her mother at the bottom of the stairs, holding a pastel pink-colored box that has the cherry pie she has made for him.

She baked for her family first but the idea of letting her crush taste what she has cooked makes her heart flutter and she agrees to it.

"You took so long!" Her mother throws a fake glare at her.

She holds her ear, mumbling, "I'm sorry. I was just... just wondering how I am so beautiful."

Her mother chuckles, knowing that her daughter has just cracked a joke, hiding something behind.

"Because your mother is pretty and father, a handsome guy." Her mother shrugs.

Evalena giggles. "So right!" She takes the box from her mother's grip. "Now I should leave."

"Of course. And take care."

Evalena leaves. Her destination is not so far away. It is just a few steps ahead.

Flipping her hair behind her shoulder, she makes her way to the Dawood mansion.

She pressed the doorbell and the youngest guy opened the door for her.

"Oh, what a pleasant surprise! How are you, ribbon girl?" He asks with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. He has that habit of teasing Evalena. Especially regarding her ribbons because she likes wearing them on her dark hair. Even though the boy is younger than her, he delights in teasing her.

"I'm fine. Very much. Is Adam home?"

"Why?" His gaze descends upon the box in her hands and he eventually catches the sweet aroma of pie inside it. "Brother isn't home. I can give your message to him."

"Oh." Her voice lowers in disappointment. "It's okay. Give this to him. You can have, too." She stretches her arms to let him hold the box.

"Why not," he grins, "Is it cherry pie?"

"How did you recognize?"

"My senses are sharp actually."

Evalena rolls her eyes at his cocky nature when the very next moment, she catches a glimpse of Adam behind the guy. He, too, notices her.

"Eva?" He removes the earbud from his right ear.

He unlocks his arms, letting his white cat descend gracefully upon the floor. Her tail sways in the air and she meows, walking behind him.

"You're home? But Ansel said..." Evalena mumbles in confusion, eyeing Ansel suspiciously.

"What did I say? That bro is busy somewhere?" He bites his tongue, getting caught red-handed.

Evalena narrows her eyes at him. "Liar."

Adam chuckles. "You can leave, Ansel." He dismisses him and the boy leaves.

He greets Evalena and the girl's heartbeats are skyrocketing. Her face blooms pink as he approaches her in a few strides, followed by his white fluffy cat. The tall guy makes her crane her neck to admire him because even though she is sixteen, he is in his early twenties. Matured up and muscular enough to get any woman weak in her knees.

"Eva," he smiles warmly, "I'm glad to have you here." He shuts the volume on his mobile. "I see you're doing fine."

"Y-Yeah, I am." She bites her tongue for stuttering. "This is for you." She puts the pink box under his watch. "Cherry pie," she almost whispers.

His cat meows once again, snuggling closer to his leg. She strokes herself through his blue denim jeans.

A smile comes to sit gracefully upon his lips. "Thank you so much." He takes the box, opening it right in front of her. It looks delicious.

"You made it?"

"Yeah," she tugs her hair behind her ear, "Mama helped me."

He smiles, eyes gliding down her flushed cheeks which are like the tulips in his room. "Thank you again," he mumbles, making her heart skip a few more beats.

Oh, Adam, this is nothing!

❥⁠˙⁠๑

Daylight comes upon the town when her eyes open feebly. They fall over Barak and then beside him as she finds the place empty. The sheets are simple, indicating that her husband never laid there down that night.

Confused, she looks around and finds him sitting on a chair. His body stance is loose, by which she realizes he has slept there. A book rests on his lap while his hand upon his stomach.

She leaves the bed. Her arm raises to amass her hair so she can twist it into a bun. The satin sleeves of her white nightgown glide down her fair skin because of the motion. She ties the knot around her waist.

She murmurs a 'thank you' to her God while ambling to her husband just to find a photo frame resting beside his chair.

The picture of his first wife Nora resides in it and it makes her lower her gaze back to her husband who sleeps peacefully even without a quilt.

For a moment, she has nothing to think of in her mind. Her eyes only rove over Adam, her heart squeezing itself inside her chest like getting stifled by seeing the face of his first wife.

She can reckon he was at the mercy of Nora's remembrance and she has no assumption how many times this has happened after their marriage. But she is sure it happened on the day of their wedding. He came late that night.

But she can't indict Adam.

She had seen them together and they were so happy. Nora was the woman after his mother whom he loved the most. Forgetting her would take some time, no?

Then what about the pain that gropes her chest?

Her husband is not aware of it. He has no idea of how a minor of a damage can turn into a lethal wound that would endanger her unless her mind is devoid of this memory.

Finding him thinking of his late wife when he has a diligent woman to give him contentment makes her quer herself if she is good enough to gain the first woman's place.

She wonders now what he thinks about her. Who is she to him now? Is she still a childhood friend to him or a woman who had betrayed his trust and now has become his wife?

Either title is born to hurt her. She hopes for a higher place in his heart. She wants him to call her his companion, his wife, his life partner, his other half, his woman who was made for him. But would he?

Without her knowledge, tears burn her eyes. Sitting heavily upon the lower set of her eyelashes, they threaten to spill out but she drinks them back, sighing.

"Adam?" She calls him, wanting him to go to bed and sleep there peacefully. How long has he been finding comfort on a chair?

But he doesn't respond. She calls again and there is no reply once again. She touches his shoulder to wake him up and this time, his eyes shoot open and his palm holds her wrist in a tender grip.

He hums, staring at her, mumbling, "Eva?"

He questions her like he was wishing for someone else. Now she doesn't want to discover that even in his dream he was dreaming of Nora but that thought has already unsettled her. Another pang stabs her heart.

"Sleep on the bed. How long have you been here?"

He hums and grabs his mobile to check time when his gaze tumbles upon the picture of his wife and he knows he has made a mistake. According to him, Evalena shouldn't have seen this.

She also notices his movements ceasing and listens to him murmuring, "I'm sorry."

Evalena never expected him of this. Never. Because she knows her husband is a man who obeys his Lord's commandments diligently. He is to cherish his wife, doesn't matter if she is second. He is to respect and honor her and give her what she is entitled to. Even though the night of their wedding he told her not to have expectations of him, she believed time would change things between them and God would send his divine healing.

But Adam lost it here.

Can she blame him now?

No, she can't rush to. Because she knows that the Sovereign Lord has given us freedom. Freedom to have emotions and feelings too. He cares about those who are brokenhearted and He is near to them but unless we ask for Him to heal us, and mend our brokenness, He can't do anything. He has allotted us superiority over ourselves, how can He then do anything against those rules?

But a human will be human.

In this race of proving ourselves, we are so tenacious to handle things on our own, that we overlook our Creator who can heal us more beautifully than we can even infer to get healed by ourselves.

We are so tangled in the apprehension and deceitfulness of this world that we forget to run to our Father when we are damaging, decaying, and dying.

We are being foolish enough to devastate ourselves. And pride is the one that instructs us astray, away from our God.

Amid his regular prayers, Adam couldn't get by heart that if he can't move on, then his God is the One he should run to. He is ever ready to help you, do you doubt?

According to himself, he has been doing alright but this man has failed to invite his God in his personal matters.

Not just this man but possibly most of us see God as the Maker of this universe only. But the revelation is, that He is our Father, too. We can invite Him into our personal lives, ask Him to counsel us and spread before Him the messed up map of our crises, and surrender to Him. And then, we can see Him working in our lives. Ultimately, we would see His hand in everything and that moment is extraordinary when you are so pleased that tears leave your eyes and you know it was Him.

"Don't be," she murmurs, instantly wiping a tear that leaves her eye.

She turns to walk away when he holds her wrist, stopping her right there.

He turns her around, asking her to sit with him, in front of him.

She does so and this is the moment Adam looks into her eyes, collapsing into the deep cistern of melancholy that leaves him culpable. The water of pain in her eyes charges him because he is the one who has caused her such pain. He never intended for it to happen but can such reasons change anything that has happened already?

He knows of the reason that has hurt her and he is weary of evading it. The love so pure in her eyes would stand and judge him if he avoided it again. He will die of guilt.

"Please, don't," he whispers, as if in pain, "Don't torture yourself. Let go of these expectations."

"I can't," her small answer comes followed by a shrug. "To me, letting go seems harder. Let me hold onto them."

"It'll keep hurting you."

"You can change this, Adam." She shuts him up. "You can take away this pain, this suffering, and allow me to have what I long for; your love, Adam. Will you?" She asks, feeling her heart going wild inside her chest as she awaits an answer.

Would it be according to her liking?

But he doesn't answer because he is clueless about the future. He can't promise her something if he himself is uncertain regarding it.

So he looks away, murmuring, "I can't promise."

"Are you even willing?"

A scornful smile rests upon her lips when his gaze finds her back. He is silent once again.

"I don't know what my heart wants."

"Then know!" She gets up after scolding him lightly.

Outrage has gushed through her already. It has seized her nerves at Adam's indication. That idea seems like positioning a blade on one's own throat. He is being heartless to her and he doesn't even know. Why can't he see and know?

"Find what your heart wants and never give me such cruel suggestions to stop wanting you because..." She takes a deep breath, calming down her frantically beating heart, "because I can never stop wanting you. My love for you will never die. You're all too well tangled in my soul, Adam. And if you doubt, ask your Lord Almighty!"

With that said, she leaves his presence, all shattered and upset while Adam tiredly pushes his palm down his face, stealing a glance at Nora's picture.

❥⁠˙⁠๑

A/n:-  I thought the update was short but it's not. Again 3k+ words!

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter.

Also, I've been noticing lately that people don't like me talking about God in my book so openly and I see many leaving.

One thing I need to clarify here; I won't stop praising God in my writing. I believe He has given me this talent and I'm very grateful to Him. If I'd remain shut, then stones would rise to worship my God. And who would let a stone take her or his place before God? I'll die of shame if this happens. So let me do it. I'm a depression-free writer bc I've God with me, within me. If I'll shut Him, I'll die of stillness in my life.

Those who don't like it, I don't force you to keep reading, dear. I just want my readers to see that God was, is, and will always care for you and maybe you can see that in my writing, too.

If you skip when I speak about God, it's okay. But let me tell you the truth, those parts you skip are the most beautiful and useful things you'd ever read in your life. Don't bear loss. Rest is upon you.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Vote, comment, and share.

Stay happy, stay beautiful. Jesus loves you <3

Instagram:- @wattpad.ahava