The following twenty-four hours pass in a blur, my memories of them fragmented. I remember briefly making eye contact with Kiana as we left the meeting room, handing Felicity my keys, hoisting Asteria's suitcase onto the train, and tossing and turning in the bed that Asteria and I shared in Okchester. I had assumed our journey home would be joyous, but Asteria remained quiet, and I have grown distant too, knowing that I have now resolved to murder her family members.

When we do finally arrive back to Esterpool the following evening, my limbs are heavy, and my eyes are tired from the sleep I failed to get the night before. The sun is beginning to set as I help bring Asteria's luggage into her chambers. She thanks me quietly. They are the most words she has spoken to me in the past day.

"Arabelle should be coming soon to dress you for bed soon," I tell Asteria.

"Okay," she says.

I want to reach out and touch her, kiss her between her brows and tell her how much I love her, but I think it is best I keep my distance from her for now. Which is why, I shakily inhale as I say my next words.

"I think I will sleep in my own bed tonight, if that is okay with you."

Asteria looks at me, but there is no betrayal in her eyes. She only accepts the words and nods.

"Yes. You must be tired, after all. I will see you in the morning, then?" she asks.

"Of course," I respond. "Be sure to rest up in that time."

"I will," she says.

Then, I cannot help myself. I lean forward to kiss her, just briefly. She returns my kiss, but not with her usual vivacity. It seems we are both tired from the events of the past week.

"Good night," I say.

"Good night, Fe," she responds.

It feels strange when I close the door behind me. For weeks now, Asteria's bed has been equally my own, but now, I wander towards my own bedroom that has been utterly foreign to me for as long as I have had it. I let out a sigh as I enter and trace my hand over the bedsheets. One of the maids must have come in and replaced them while I was gone. They are softer than I remember last leaving them.

Once I change out of my maid's uniform and into my nightgown, I stare at my bed. Though I am utterly exhausted, I am not too sure I want to sleep just yet. My gaze keeps lingering to the door, knowing that I can return to Asteria's bedroom at any time, but I cannot justify it, even if it hurts me so.

The assassination is one month away. Even if Asteria were spared, even if we were to maintain contact afterwards, why would she want anything to do with me? I exist now only to betray her, even if my love for her is just as real.

Rather than forcing myself to sleep, I grab a piece of parchment from my desk drawer and begin drafting a letter to my mother:

Dearest Elsie, I begin.

I have just returned from my trip to Magewell! Unfortunately, the princess was not feeling well, so the trip was cut two days short, but I enjoyed myself immensely in that time. Not only did I get to explore many regions of the castle, but I got to sit in on royal meetings each morning. It seems the Magnuvian army is growing stronger than ever, and they will be recruiting even more soldiers soon, many from Landiani. I also had the pleasure of meeting King Ruben and Prince Stephan for the first time. They are certainly commanding forces.

During my visit, I additionally was able to reunite with Haukea. She has a strong relationship with the royals and an excellent understanding of the castle. She took great pride in giving me tours during my visit. I am sure she will have much to share with you when she next writes. We are hoping to reunite in a month's time at the castle once more if the princess can give me time off.

I pause there. Truly there is not much I can tell my mother without the risk of the letter being intercepted. My pen hovers above the parchment, wanting to write to my mother and beg her to spare Asteria's life, but I cannot bring myself to write. Those are words that I think may best be saved for when she next visits me.

Instead, I end the letter with a short conclusion, expressing my hope at seeing her again soon, and I seal its contents. I am sure I will think of more to write to my mother when I get a good night's rest. I place the sealed letter on my desk so that I can deliver it tomorrow, and, finally, I crawl into bed.

As I turn out the lights, I lie there, wondering if Asteria is asleep yet. I curse myself for continuing to think about her and shift to lay on my side, away from the door. Though it is strange not to hear her breaths beside me or feel warm arms around me, I manage to fall asleep quickly as exhaustion from the past week overtakes me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In the morning, I wake early to dress Asteria. When I enter into her bedchambers, I find her still resting peacefully. I am glad she slept soundly, but I desperately want to crawl into bed with her and hold her, if only for a few moments. My hand extends forward to stroke the ends of her golden hair, but I move it away, settling on shaking her shoulder instead.

"Asteria," I murmur. "It's time to wake."

Her eyes open slowly. They first settle on the spot beside her, and my heart breaks, just slightly. She then realizes I am standing above her and lets out a slow yawn.

"Good morning, Fe. Did you sleep soundly last night?' she asks.

"Yes," I respond. "I hope you do not mind, but I will probably do the same tonight. I am still catching up on sleep from this past week."

"Whatever you need," Asteria responds.

"Did you sleep well, also?" I ask.

"Well enough," she says as she rises and stretches her arms. "Let's get me dressed, then."

The dressing ritual feels almost strangely like it did when I first became Asteria's maid. We are both quiet and awkward around each other. I can tell Asteria's mood is still not back to what it once was before the trip, and my distance surely does not help either. I merely carry out my maid duties as I have always done, neglecting to give the princess any kisses or show her any other affection. Even when we head downstairs to eat breakfast, our conversation is mainly quiet. Normally, I would take Asteria aside and ask how she is feeling, but I force myself to keep the silence. It will be easier for me to distance myself that way.

I leave Asteria after breakfast to deliver the letter I wrote to my mother, hoping that its contents will bring her some joy. After placing the letter in the mailbox, I pass by the maids' quarters, where a familiar voice calls out to me.

"Fe! You're back!" Maria exclaims.

I turn, finding her coming at me from the estate. She must have been tasked with helping clean up breakfast and is now returning to the maid's residence. I pick up my pace to greet her, excited to finally talk to someone with Asteria remaining quiet and me keeping my distance.

Maria warmly embraces me and holds onto my forearms as she smiles at me.

"How was the trip?!" she asks excitedly.

"It was...interesting," I say, unsure how else to describe it. "I have never seen Magewell Castle before. It is certainly a behemoth."

"Is it? I have never been either," Maria says.

"Oh, yes. I had to keep asking for directions. It was a nuisance trying to find the maids' quarters," I explain.

Maria laughs beside me. "Are you busy right now? I would love to hear all about the trip."

I think of Asteria, who I left in her room, reading, but I assume she does not want to see me right now. I think of the chores I have for the day, but Alba will not be chastising me about completing them now that I am above her in status. I turn to Maria and nod.

"Great! It's too warm to chat out here. Let's chat inside," Maria says.

I have not stepped foot into the maids' quarters that often since the night I was attacked. Even now, as I pass through the doorframe, my heartrate picks up. If something were to happen, would Asteria save me this time? Or would I be safe defending myself? I will only be here one more month anyway. I suppose I do not have to be as careful these days.

Thankfully, the seating area is empty when Maria and I enter. I find a comfortable spot on the sofa next to her. Maria's eyes are vibrant, and she looks at me eagerly, waiting for me to speak. I cannot tell Maria all the details, of course, but I open my mouth, beginning to share what I can from the trip – how visiting Okchester was lovely, how I sat in on the royal war meetings each morning, how the maid's quarters were far larger than anything here, and how King Ruben and Prince Stephan were far more intimidating than I thought they would be.

"Wow! So much seems to have happened during your stay," Maria comments.

You have no idea, I want to tell her.

"It was quite a busy visit," I respond. "I have been exhausted, trying to catch up on sleep since."

"The princess must be tired too. Arabelle said she had little to say last night when she was readying her for bed," Maria says.

"Yes...I suppose she is tired, too," I say. Though I like Maria and trust her, even I do not feel comfortable telling her what transpired between Asteria and her father. "The princess is not as fond of Magewell. I think it will take her a few days to warm back up to Esterpool."

"Ah, I see," Maria says. "I will be on my best behavior around her, then, even though I long to ask her about the trip."

"That would be wise," I respond. "What were you up to in our absence?"

From Maria's stories, it does not seem to be much. She spends a longer than average time telling me about the chores Alba put her and the other maids to. It seems the entire estate was cleaned from top to bottom, which explains the fresh sheets in my bedroom. I nervously pick at my fingernails, hoping that no one discovered the stored letters in my room while they dusted and cleaned. While the contents are not so treasonous I would be thrown out, they would certainly be gather some suspicion if they were looked at closely.

"It sounds like a frightful time," I say, laughing some.

"Alba is quite the monster when it comes to cleaning," Maria says dead-panned. "But we completed all our chores before the princess arrived back home!"

"I am happy to hear it." As those words leave my mouth, the door opens, and I stiffen, watching as Arabelle and Zofia walk in. I maintain eye contact with them, expecting them to be glaring at me, but they merely seem surprised to see me sitting on the couch.

"Good morning," I say.

"Good morning," Arabelle replies quietly. Zofia says the same beside her. Tension fills the air as they begin rummaging through the kitchen for something to eat. Whatever conversation Maria and I had has come to an abrupt pause.

"How was your trip to Magewell?" Zofia asks from the kitchen.

"It was long and tiring. I am certainly happy to be back," I say.

I expect the conversation to be left at that, but Zofia continues to ask more questions. "Did you meet the king and prince? What were the maids' quarters like there?"

I did not expect such casual questions from the maids who battered and bruised me not too long ago, but I indulge them, beginning to tell nearly all that I told Maria, until they are both seated on the couch beside me, listening intently. I never imagined I would share a casual conversation with the other maids, but it keeps me from thinking about Asteria, so we chat openly, until, finally, I glance at the clock, realizing I cannot put off the remainder of my chores any longer.

"We should all return to our duties," I say at last.

"You're right," Maria says.

"Have a good rest of your day," I tell the three.

Once I am back in the estate doing chores, my thoughts wander again. As I sweep the corridor by the princess's chambers, my gaze keeps lingering to the princess's door. I keep lowering my head, trying to focus on the task at hand, but I can bear it no longer. I unlock the princess's door and step inside.

"Asteria?" I call.

Silence greets me in response. I do a quick survey of her bedchambers, finding it empty. I sigh and glance out at the window which overlooks the garden. There, in the distance, I spot Asteria seated on a bench outside. I watch her from afar, wishing I could convince myself to go down and spend time with her, but I know the distance will be best for the both of us in the long run.

I leave Asteria's chambers a moment later and return to my chores, knowing at the very least, I will accompany her to dinner, if nothing else. Still, even if I know I am doing the right thing by giving her space, I cannot help but admit how lonely and isolating I feel. I am sure that feeling will only grow with time.