Chapter 12

I ease slowly into my new pattern of dressing Princess Asteria each morning. I rise at the crack of dawn, oftentimes before the sun has risen, eat a quick breakfast, and head to the princess's quarters with haste. Some days, I gently have to nudge and wake her; others, she is awake and already waiting for me. The process of dressing her has grown easier with more practice, and now, I strangely look forward to each morning spent with the princess. Finally, I have some time each day to fully focus my attention on the mission uninterrupted.

I only wish though that the conversations were more productive.

Though I have tried with all my might to ask appropriate questions that will trigger a more elaborate response from the princess, I am met with only curt answers. I have learned bits and pieces about Magewell and the princess's relationship with her family, but nothing substantial enough to write in a letter to my mother. In fact, I am still waiting for a response from my mother after the letter I sent detailing my new role.

Every day, I check the mail pile with baited breath, until finally, a week after I have begun dressing the princess, a letter finally arrives for me. Maria has left the unopened envelope on my dresser after I return one afternoon. Though it can be nothing more than one or two pieces of parchment, I am already intimidated by it. I debate waiting until later to read it, but the bulk of my duties are done for the day, and I have nothing else to distract myself.

Sighing, I tear open the envelope carefully:

Dearest Fe,

Congratulations on your new role! I am pleased to hear that you are gaining notice from the princess. I hope you can continue to have fruitful conversations with Her Majesty. Perhaps if you do well enough, she will place you in charge of more roles as well.

You asked how Haukea is doing. I am pleased to share that she recently joined the royal guard. It is amazing how much she was able to accomplish in only a month's time. I have no doubt she will excel at her new role. I can only hope you will continue to thrive in yours as well.

Please write soon. I would love to hear more updates.

Sincerely,

Elsie Holland

I sigh and set the letter down. At least I no longer have to worry about the contents of it, but I wonder how I can continue to improve my relationship with Asteria. Dressing her gives me a solid half hour on a good day, but I risk jeopardizing the mission by prying too much. Many of the other maids already seem to dislike me. If I put in too much effort, I will no doubt anger someone else besides Josie. What's worse, Alba's warning still rings in my head about getting too comfortable with the princess. I may speak privately to the princess all I like, but it will no doubt offend someone in my vicinity. I hold my head in my hands, wondering what updates I will have for Mama in my next letter when Maria enters the room. I glance up, not having heard her footsteps.

"Long day?" Maria asks.

I slowly shove the letter away into the top of my dresser drawer. "Yes. Alba did not give me much of a break today."

"She must admire your tenacity then," Maria says with a smile. "Otherwise she wouldn't give you so much to do."

"Perhaps," I say.

"You receive many letters," Maria notes, eyeing the top drawer where I shoved my letter away.

I stiffen, worrying perhaps that she is suspicious, but judging by her gentle smile, I can tell that she is only curious.

"It is not from my supposed lover back home, if that's what you're thinking," I say. "I don't know why Zofia will not let that rumor die."

Maria giggles. "I am only surprised to see you receive so much mail."

"Do you not write your family?" I ask.

"I do, but I'm the fourth of six children. My parents do not always have time to write to me," Maria says sadly.

"Well, it is not as if I am receiving letters from my family either," I murmur.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean—"

"No, no! I know you meant no offense. I have mostly been in correspondence with Taika, the man who visits me from time to time, and the granddaughter of the family I once served."

"That is sweet you're still in touch with her," Maria says. "It's a silly thought, but I hope the princess will still think of me when I am no longer her maid."

I smile at her in response. "Have you eaten yet?" I ask. I glance out the window, where the sun is rapidly setting.

"Not yet."

"Let's eat together, then," I suggest.

Though the other maids scoff and gradually leave when Maria and I sit at the kitchen table, Maria and I share a pleasant dinner. I realize how genuinely thankful I am for our friendship as we exchange stories from our day. While of course it is important for me to get along with the other maids, at the end of the day, I wonder how much lonelier I would be without her presence. I grimace at the thought of having someone like Josie as a roommate.

That evening, after I have bathed and changed, I crawl warmly into bed. I have grown used to the firm mattress and the scratchy sheets at this rate, though sometimes I still dream of the bed I slept in my first night at the estate. Sometimes I gaze at Asteria's bed and wonder how soft and warm it must be as well. While my bed back home in Tetoa was no luxury, it was cozier than what we are provided with in Esterpool.

I shut my eyes and fall asleep soundly that night, dreaming of my bed back in Tetoa, which I long to sleep in again one day soon.

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

The next morning, I wake early to attend to my regular dressing duties. Maria is still snoring away in the bottom bunk as I dress myself for the day. I almost envy her, suddenly missing being able to sleep in comfortably, but I have been afforded an opportunity that very few maids in the princess's entourage have been able to receive. Though my eyelids are droopy and I yawn loudly on my way to the princess's quarters, I find my energy building with each step I take. Finally, I arrive at the door and gently knock. When no response greets me, I assume that she still sleeps.

I unlock the door and creak it open slowly. Asteria is normally seated on the couch, waiting for me to dress her, but no one greets me this morning. I enter and draw back the curtains, allowing natural sunlight to enter her bedchamber. I turn and head down the hallway to the left, finding that Asteria is indeed asleep in her bed, snoozing away, just as Maria was this morning when I left.

I approach the princess cautiously, always feeling slightly uncomfortable on the mornings I am required to wake her. Asteria's long, golden hair is splayed across the pillow as she breathes in slowly. Her face is content and relaxed, and she certainly looks comfortable. I cannot help but wonder how easy it would be to kill her when she is vulnerable like this. Though my mother promised me that Prince Stephan would be mine to murder, it certainly would be easy for someone like me to take care of the princess as well. I suppose when the day comes, whoever is tasked with killing her will find the task manageable given the princess's heavy slumber.

I touch my hand to the princess's shoulder and nudge her awake gently. Asteria lets out sounds of waking as she stirs. Slowly, she rolls over on her side, and her eyes open slowly.

"Good morning, Fe," the princess murmurs groggily.

"Good morning, Asteria. I'm sorry to wake you," I say.

"No. I should have woken up sooner," Asteria says. She lets out a loud yawn and sits up gradually. "Give me a few minutes to wake up."

"Okay. I'll put together your outfit for today," I say.

Though the princess set out her own outfits for the past few days, I have since graduated to choosing her outfits myself. A few days prior, Alba had Josie provide me instructions in the art of choosing the princess's outfit. Although Josie was scowling the entire time, she was very instructive, and ever since, I have been dressing Asteria on my own. I always fear the princess will scoff at my outfit choices, but she is always enthusiastic to see what I have picked.

I settle on a pink floral gown for the princess today.

"That is a nice choice," Asteria says from behind me.

I nearly jump, having not expected her to be out of bed already. From what Josie told me, sometimes the princess likes to doze, at times needing a second wake-up, but Asteria has always risen easily when I have gone to visit her. I wonder if she was purposely falling back asleep to avoid Josie's scowl.

"Do you think so?" I ask. "It reminded me of the flowers in the garden." It was hard not to notice those blooming pink roses on my walk over this morning.

"It's ones of my favorites," Asteria says with a grin.

We assume the usual position as I begin to help her get dressed for the day. I ask how she is enjoying the warm weather, hoping it will propel her into stories from her past, but she merely acknowledges she is enjoying the springtime air and keeps the conversation surface level. I only nod and agree, now having grown used to hiding my frustration at her inability to provide me deeper answers. As I brush out her hair for the day, I see Asteria make eye contact with me in the mirror.

"Your comment earlier about the flowers made me think of something," Asteria says.

"Did it?" I ask.

"The flowers are becoming quite beautiful. Why don't we go on a walk in the garden after breakfast?"

I fumble with the hairbrush and drop it from my hands. I mutter a quick apology and go to retrieve it from the floor.

"Sorry. Was that not a good suggestion?" Asteria asks.

"My hand slipped, that is all," I respond. "I would be happy to accompany you, but I am not sure Alba would be thrilled with me doing so."

"I'll tell her that I request your company at breakfast," Asteria says.

"Then, it's a plan," I agree.

Asteria gives me a smile as we depart a few minutes later. I sit near the entrance of the garden an hour later, waiting for Asteria to arrive. The last time we were here, we enjoyed good conversation together, and I even witnessed her use some magic. I wonder if I will be treated to the same experience today. For the sake of the empty piece of parchment sitting on my desk back at the maid's quarters, I hope there is something useful that I can write my mother. I cannot bear to keep hearing about how Kiana is thriving in Magewell while I can only manage to write little scraps of information to my mother.

At the sound of footsteps, I glance up, noticing the princess walking towards me. I quickly rise from the bench and curtsy, though Asteria waves out her hands in front of me.

"There is no need for that, Fe. I asked you here to keep me company, after all, not serve me," she says.

I nod, hoping that is a good sign our conversation will be more poignant today.

"Shall we, then?" Asteria asks. I nod, and we begin our stroll around the garden slowly. My eyes linger back and forth to the flowers that are in bloom. Their petals bring wonderful color to the garden; shades of yellow, red, white, and pink that all come together in perfect harmony.

"How was breakfast?" I ask the princess.

"Good, as always. The chefs have always managed to keep the meals interesting in the time I've lived here," Asteria says.

I peek over my shoulder at the guards following behind us. Though they give us our distance, I miss the privacy of the first time we spoke in the garden, where Asteria showed me her secret garden.

"I am afraid I cannot take you there today," Asteria murmurs, having noticed my glance. "The guards will catch on if I go there too often."

"Understandable," I reply.

I glance around at the rose bushes and smile. "These are quite beautiful," I say, my gaze fixated on a bush of ruby red roses.

"I agree," Asteria says. "There used to be a rose bush underneath my window in Magewell. On a breezy day, you could just fainly smell the fresh scent of flowers."

"How lovely," I respond. "We do not have roses in Landiani, but I do miss all the tropical flowers there. Many stay in bloom year round."

"I wish that were the same here," Asteria says wistfully. "What do the flowers look like in Landiani?"

I explain to her some of my favorites, from the bright red hibiscus to the delicate plumeria flower. She listens intently, clearly intrigued. "What was it like growing up in Landiani?" Asteria asks.

"Oh," I say in surprise.

"If you do not mind me asking, that is," she adds.

I hesitate, not because I don't want to share, but also because I have not refreshed on the backstory Taika and my mother delicately crafted for me. Still, if I do not find the courage to speak about myself, I am sure Asteria will not feel comfortable sharing anything about herself either. I do my best to remember the pivotal details.

"I don't mind," I say. "It's a beautiful country. Although growing up in Otakoro was difficult. My parents died when I was young from a sailing accident. The seas can grow quite choppy without warning."

"I am sorry to hear that," Asteria says. "Who took care of you?"

"My grandmother. She's since passed, too. That's what prompted me to move to Magewell and work as a maid. I did not have anything else left in Otakoro," I explain.

"No siblings?" Asteria wonders.

I stiffen. Technically, I am an orphan and an only child by what Taika and Mama laid out in my backstory, but the urge to speak about Kiana grabs hold of me, especially since she crossed my mind while I waited for Asteria in the garden. I decide I will be as truthful as I can while leaving out any details that might jeopardize the mission.

"I did have a younger sister," I say.

"Did she pass, too?" Asteria asks sadly.

"No. We lived together for a while, but it grew too much for my grandmother to care for the both of us, so she went to live with my aunt in Satavau. We lost contact over the years. I do not know where she is now," I state.

Asteria frowns. "Were you close?"

"Yes," I say. "Although, we had our fair share of fights, too. She was clever and stubborn. I always looked up to her, even though I was the eldest. But now I do not see her anymore." It is easy to convey my sadness to Asteria. I do miss Kiana, more than anyone else. I wish I could correspond with her as often as I do my mother and Taika. I sigh and bring a smile to my face.

"Enough about me. What about you? Do you and the prince get along?"

Asteria laughs slightly at this.

"My apologies. I should not have asked—"

"No, no," Asteria says. "Stephan and I used to be close, just like you and your sister, but we grew apart as we aged."

I hesitate before asking, "How come?"

"There are too many reasons to count, I suppose, but I think he never understood the loss of our mother like I did. My mother died shortly after his birth. For most of our childhood I mourned her, but he never understood what he was missing and never was plagued by grief like I was. For that reason, my father favored him. We fought more often as we aged, and by the time we were teenagers, we barely spoke. When I was seventeen, I came here, and that is the end of that," Asteria says. She sighs. "I'm sorry. You probably do not want to hear all of this. You and your sister were separated for reasons different from what I'm describing. It is a different pain you must feel."

I want to tell Asteria that I understand how exactly how she feels. I too know what it's like to have a sibling overtake you, whether that be in the role of a mission or that of royal duty. I curse myself for finding similarities between myself and the princess, but in the moment, it feels comforting to know someone else feels a similar pain.

"I don't mind. It is hard to lose touch with one's sibling, even if for different reasons. Do you and the prince speak often?"

"He does not write. I receive some correspondence from my father alerting me to what Stephan is up to every now and then. Usually I am called upon to visit Magewell every year, and that is when Stephan and I speak to each other the most," Asteria says.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I murmur.

Asteria shakes her head. "I think I would be miserable if I had remained with my father and brother in Magewell. I hope that one day you can be reunited with your sister, Fe."

"I hope so, too," I say, although I know that the day we do, Asteria will no longer be living. I shake the thought away for now. Asteria has given me more than enough material to write my mother for now. There is no use to poke any farther today.

I shift the conversation back to the present, asking the princess what else she likes to do in Esterpool. Besides strolls in the garden, she tells me she likes to read, paint, and even occasionally sew, although her mother was much more proficient at sewing than she was. There is nothing from this part of the conversation that I can share with Mama, but it is refreshing hearing the princess talking about herself. It is a reminder that she is a person, not simply the name of someone in a textbook I once read at school. When we have walked for quite some time, I realize that it must be getting close for me to return to my duties. Asteria seems to sense this as well and naturally brings the conversation to a close when we finish our circle of the garden.

"I won't keep you from your duties any longer. Thank you for your company, Fe. It was refreshing being able to talk to someone out here," Asteria says. "And thank you for listening to me. No one does that here all that much."

I think of what Alba warned me earlier, that I should not try to be befriend Asteria. However, I see nothing wrong with walks like these if it is the princess herself initiating.

"It was my pleasure," I say. "I hope you have a wonderful rest of your afternoon."

We depart with smiles, and I finish the rest of my day's chores in high spirits. When I do return to my bedroom in the evening, I quickly draft a letter to my mother while the information Asteria shared is still fresh in my mind. That night, I sleep soundly, lavishing in the fact that my plan to gain the trust of the princess finally seems to be underway.

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