Acumen:

The ability to understand and reason... keenness and depth of perception, discernment or discrimination, extrasensory perception in practical matters. The ability to understand things... things with deeper meaning. But mainly the ability to understand and reason accordingly in a particular domain, as I like to call it, scholarly studies.

What if it can also mean the ability to understand why people do what they do, how to accept it, and how to move forward for your own good.

After we left the rooftop, I spent hours in my room, replaying Adrien's words until it felt like I was being suffocated in the room.

I found my way back to here, the rooftop. In fact, I dared to place my seat closer to the ledge.

Looking at the view in front of me, I find myself thinking about the word Acumen, wondering if it could describe me.

I don't know how my chain of thoughts reached this specific point and word, but it somehow did.

I wonder if I actually am... engineering acumen? Or maybe I'm a science or logic acumen.

I wish there was an accurate enough test to confirm all these sorts of things.

I focus on the beautiful skyline, the blue of the sky mixing with the blue of the lake, leaving a blended horizon behind with the Jet d'Eau standing in the middle.

The sun is starting to set, it's only a matter of minutes until complete darkness envelops this side of the world... if it wasn't for light and electricity.

I still can't decide if I prefer sunset or sunrise. They're both beautiful in their own ways, choosing one would mean being unfair to the other.

The lights in different buildings are coming to life.

Life... death... Jaceon's death... my life.

I wish I had died that night.

I wish it was possible to swap lives. I'm pretty sure we were both at the same hospital that night, just in different wards.

Jaceon died because of me.

That is clear as a day, even in the midst of this pink and yellow sky with a setting sun.

No one would have noticed my death. Mom, dad, and Theo would've gotten used to it by a month, or maybe less.

Most importantly I didn't have to live this misery of a life.

I inhale sharply and press my beck to the chair, drawing my legs up. I hug my knees and try to focus on other things.

I put my chin on my knees, trying to push away those thoughts.

Adrien did the right thing... by telling me all of that. At least now I know I was at fault without realizing it.

I deserved being bullied and hated.

I still do.

I wish I was a different person.

A better person.

I wish things could change.

What if things were different? What if I had acted differently. Surely things would've been different. I don't dare to imagine how much though. I know I can't handle that.

But still... after everything, I wonder how Adrien manages not to hate me like before?

Can things like this be forgiven?

I don't know.

Maybe that's why I can't understand him.

It still doesn't make sense why he wants to spend almost a year of his life being near me, the girl who is equally at fault as the drunk truck driver for his brother's death.

I close my eyes, the soft breeze like a gentle touch, caressing my skin, its fingers running through my hair.

I am the reason for my best friend's death.

The thought rings like a sickening bell in my head, causing a deep pang of pain shoot through me. More like a knife being stabbed into my heart and then twisting the handle.

I sit there, hugging my knees to myself, as the thoughts slip away and I'm left staring blankly at the city that is alive with movements.

The vibration in my pocket breaks the prolonged moment. I shift as I fish my phone out of my pocket.

Surprised to see a group facetime, I look around and sigh. I hold my phone in an angle that wouldn't reveal the wall behind me, the last thing I want is for my family to find out I'm not okay.

I plaster the biggest smile on my face and receive the videocall.

My phone's screen divides into four parts for mom, dad, Theo, and I.

"Hi," I say as enthusiastically as I can.

The three of them greet me with the same energy. I notice mom and dad both are still in the hospital, in their own rooms. Theo is in his own apartment.

"How's the trip so far?" Theo asks.

I smile and reply, "It's been great,"

"Dad said you had work to do so you're staying mostly in your room," Theo says and I nod.

"Honey, when are you planning to come back?" Mom immediately asks.

I look at the part where her tired face is, she pushes her glasses up and looks at me intently.

"I told you mom, I'm going to travel for a whole year."

"But if you're staying in your room and doing work, what's the difference, New York or Geneva." Theo jumps in.

"I think we've talked about this already, there's no point in repeating these things," dad sharply says, making Theo frown.

"So, Eleanor, anything special or any news?" Dad asks.

I smile at him gratefully. I open my mouth to say 'nothing' but then it crosses my mind. I have to tell them about Adrien, Arianna, and Dylan.

For a moment I consider not telling them, but if either of them happens to find it out somehow, it won't end well.

"I met one of my..." my voice trails down as I try to choose the right word, "friends," I settle on saying.

Theo instantly narrows his eyes, but mom and dad smile, encouraging me to continue. I take a deep breath and continue.

"And... you guys know him. We've decided to travel together with his friends who I know from back in high school,"

"Him?" Mom interjects.

"Yes,"

"Who?" Dad curiously asks.

"Adrien,"

"Well that's not very specific," Theo says with irritation.

I roll my eyes, "Clark,"

He furrows his brows, narrowing his green eyes, and then suddenly nods, "Jaceon Clark's brother?"

"Yeah, exactly,"

"I don't know Eleanor," mom says with a frown.

"Wasn't Jace your friend?" Theo asks.

"Yes, but it's not like I don't know him," I sharply say back.

"Actually you don't, how can you know how much he's changed in the past four years?" Theo retorts.

"We were at Stanford together, Theodor. We were in the same major."

"What about those two friends?" Dad asks before Theo gets the chance to say something.

"Arianna is his cousin, we were in the same high school, and so was Dylan, they were mostly around Jace," I reply.

Dad nods, "If you trust them, I don't think it's a bad idea to not travel alone." He says with a smile.

Mom sighs and rests her chin on her tangled finger, "I know Adrien and Arianna's mothers, they were both in med school before changing their majors," mom says with a smile, "I think it would be a nice change for you to hang out with a girl," mom adds making me huff.

I had forgotten how much it annoys her that most of my friends -to be more specific, the people who I interacted more with- were always guys. She still believes I'm not girl enough, whatever that means.

"Since mom and dad clearly can't see how awful this idea of traveling with two guys for a whole year could turn out, I'm coming there to meet them in person," Theo announces.

"What?" I half shout at Theo and he just shrugs.

"I think it's a good idea, it will be a reassurance for us too," mom says and dad shakes his head.

"No mom! And you will not come here to meet them, Theodor."

"I can't see the harm in it," mom says.

I don't know if it's because we're not seeing each other in person, or the air in here gives me a considerable amount of confidence making me firmly say, "I'm an adult mom. Let me be an adult."

"You're an inexperienced adult," mom emphasizes the word inexperienced as she says so.

I want to roll my eyes and point out how ridiculous that sounds, but I hold my tongue.

"Theodor, I'm serious, don't come," I say.

"I don't see a reason why you want to go Theo... Eleanor's right." Dad finally says.

Theo sighs and shakes his head.

"We'll talk about this later," mom says but I doubt she meant it for me.

I hope Theo doesn't show up.

That would be beyond embarrassing and humiliating. I wish he would just understand, instead of being so stubborn.

Soon we say our byes and end the call.

I put my phone away and lean into the chair. I try not to let thoughts like such a huge loser I am and of this sort haunt my head.

I stare blankly at the bustling streets.

I don't know how long goes by before the creaking of the door startles me.

Fear grips me, making me unable to move even an inch. I try to push my fear aside and force myself to turn around, slowly.

My eyes land on a lean body, its back facing towards me. With a few times blinking and narrowing my eyes, I realize it's Adrien.

Relief washes through me as I lean back into my chair again. The alternatives to this scenario could've been a lot worse, and maybe Adrien is the best case but at the same time, I don't want to face him.

Actually, I don't know how to face him.

He curses under his breath; I'm guessing he just spotted me.

I turn around again, and notice he's looking between me and the newly lit cigarette in his hand.

He walks forward, again curses under his breath before pinching the top of the cigarette and twirling it between his thumb and index finger.

He sits on the short wall on the end of the ledge, facing me as he slides the cigarette back into its box.

My eyes widen and I look away to hide my expression. I slowly start pinching my bottom lip as a distraction from fear and anxiety.

Sitting on a wall in this height, it's nothing less than a death wish. And, I don't want to be an eyewitness in the case of a man freefalling from the rooftop of my uncle's hotel.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here." He states.

I force myself to look normal as I move my gaze from my shoes to his face.

I take a few seconds to decide between the appropriate answer to this statement and finally settle with saying, "I-I can leave if you don't-," I start but he interrupts me.

"That's not what I meant." He crosses his arms in front of his chest and not moving his eyes away from me.

I slowly nod and shift in my seat. I avoid his gaze and stare at my hands in my lap, trying my best not to show any indications of how uncomfortable and stressful this position is for me.

"I'm just surprised you're here," he says after a long pause.

I look up, only to see he's smiling at me.

"Considering the fact that you're afraid of heights," he adds, a tint of amusement sparkling his eyes.

"I'm not afraid of heights," I pointedly say and he chuckles.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say." His smile grows, crinkling the corners of his eyes.

"I'm not," I firmly say and cross my arms in front of my chest and look away.

"Okay," he drawls, mockingly.

Long moments pass in complete silence.

I slope into my chair, biting my bottom lip, my heart rate steadily rising. I untangle my hands and push them between my lower thighs so he won't see me fiddling.

He stands up, I glance at his face for less than a second and notice all the amusement and his smile has been replaced with a solemn expression.

He stops next to my chair. I lean away, turning, and craning my neck to look up to him. I grip the edge of my chair, drawing my thumbnail up and down.

A soft breeze flows. I wish I was small enough that it could carry me away.

He slightly bends down, locking his eyes with mine. I instantly avert my eyes but a beat later I feel his warm hand press under my chin, gently making me look up into his eyes.

My heart starts racing and my palms get clammy, with fingers trembling. The fact that no one has ever been so close to me it's not helping either. Out of habit, I hold my breath and try my best to not cower away.

"I need you to know and understand that I don't blame you for his death." He says in a low voice, his Adam's apple bobs.

Another breeze flows and ruffles my hair. I nervously and quickly push my tangled hair behind my ear, leaving a few strands just to make the process end faster.

He leans down further towards me.

If this keeps on going, I might end up fainting out of a panic attack.

He slowly raises his free hand towards my face, after a moment of hesitation, he gently and deliberately pushes the unruly strand of hair behind my ear.

"I don't want you to blame yourself for that... ever." He gently says.

I don't know if I'm being paranoid or not, but he sounds a bit hoarse, and I can't help but wonder if it's so hard to talk about Jace, why does he push himself to do so?

A moment later, he blinks and that sincere look on his face disappears. He hastily takes a few steps back, putting a healthy distance between us.

He clears his throat, "Care to go for a walk?" He asks.

I look at him, unable to hide my surprise.

"It's a place... I doubt you've gone there," he adds.

I'm about to decline him when he starts saying, "It's not that far away... and it's great at night... and it has good food and nice view..." he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. "It's really cool and I think we should go... and it's not like we have anything better to do... I mean you might, but I'm sure you can fit this into your checklists and I'm guessing you haven't eaten anything yet so..." his voice trails down and he clears his throat, then straightens himself, looking straight into my face, "We should go there, would you like to come?" And then he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

I have a feeling he won't take a no for an answer.

I sigh, deciding it would be better to skip the whole convincing part and nod my head and stand up. Plus, it would be nice to eat somewhere else, I guess.

His eyes widen as he looks at me like I've grown a second or maybe a third head, "Really?"

I narrow my eyes and try to say something but before I get to utter a word he continues.

"I-I mean not in a bad way, of course... I just wasn't expecting you'd agree to it... w-without convincing."

I smile at him, "I thought it would be nice to spare us both from the whole convincing talk," and shrug, avoiding to look at him.

"Yeah, sure." He says and starts to walk towards the door and me, a step behind him.

He drops his head down and that's when I notice he's trying to hide his smile.

He truly is a confusing person.

+++

((So, what are your thoughts on this chapter? Would Theo show up? And what are your thoughts on Eleanor and Adrien?

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to vote and comment!))