I don't feel like an adult.

At what point in life, does a person transform into an adult?

It seems I'm dragging and pulling the last days of my responsibility-free teenage life. And I'll be living in the forcefully extended period of it till the end of this trip.

Maybe that's causing all the problems.

Or perhaps I'm depressed and need help.

I look at the twinkling water; the sun is moving towards the horizon. In an hour, it'll be dark.

I gulp the fresh salty air and put aside my iPad. I stand and gaze at the wide range of the sea.

In the previous hours, my attempt at reading to divert my attention from my parents' phone call was useless. Futile by utter means. I had to reread each line over three times to understand it. My mind kept wandering off, resulting in going through four pages in five hours.

I couldn't stop their words from replaying in my head. Nor could I quit reliving every other discussion we've had in the past twenty years about me disappointing them. Eventually, my brain got tired and stopped, leaving my skull as vacant as the part of Mars that doesn't face the Sun.

I enjoy the minutes of peace, offered by everyone else deciding they're done swimming in this horrifying water, and are downstairs taking a shower before dinner.

How can anyone swim in oceans and seas! There are billions of weird, terrifying creatures lurking in these waters and none of them are human friendly. Not to mention you can't see them coming, and when you do, it's too late.

I scoot away from the edge, I might be obsessed with death but I'm not planning on dying painfully. I hate pain. Although it's funny coming from someone who's life is a literal pain.

Pushing myself to my feet and wrapping my arms around myself, I stare at the rippling sea and let my mind run wild for a while.

"Hey," Adrien's voice startles me, snapping me back to reality.

With an amused expression, he watches me as I glance at him.

A wet lock of dark golden hair fallen on his forehead, his blue-green eyes catch the sunlight making them spark. The pendant of his necklace resting on his chest is a silver anchor and a helm on top, with the words, 'Lost in the sea' engraved on it.

As if I need reminding that we're in the middle of nowhere and might as well be lost. I glare at it for a second too long and he notices it and smirks. I huff before continuing to staring at the water.

"What were you thinking?" he asks, a ghost of the smile on his face.

"Nothing," I mumble. From the corner of my eye, I catch him smiling.

"I'd still like to know." He pushes his hands into his pockets.

I sigh. He already knows I can't swim, and no one's around. While chewing my bottom lip, I decide to tell him.

"Seas and oceans are scary."

He chuckles, "That's because you don't know how to swim."

I roll my eyes. "Because we're not designed for it."

He draws his eyebrows together, looks at me as if I've said the Earth is flat. "We're not designed for it?" he repeats me quizzically.

I nod. "We are for dry places, hence our lungs are air-friendly. In there," I incline to the water, "we have no control. Stay a second too long under the surface and you die in one of the most painful ways. The creatures in there are also not compatible with us, not to mention they are the most dangerous ones with no form of escaping them. Unless you go by the rule and stay out of their way. That's why we should stick to what we're initially suitable for. Solid, dry ground." I finish and glance at him.

His eyes are bright with amusement, a lopsided smile playing on his mouth. "That's an interesting theory," he muses and a beat later continues, "but incorrect."

From there he starts into a long explanation backing his idea and in a matter of minutes, we're full-on debating and arguing. Him giving the rate of yearly deaths caused by being eaten by sharks and piranhas and I'm holding my end of the argument with the number of people drown per year.

Ironically, it's like we are back in the classroom and ripping each other's solutions to pieces to prove who has the best answer. With the only difference, this time is better. And no grades involved.

He beams, "I think you are being closed off because of your fear."

I point my index finger at him with raised eyebrows. "That is not true."

"All I'm saying is, you're not even considering noting the good parts because you're too busy being afraid. Now imagine if we were talking about traveling in space. The thrill of the unknown is so great that you'll willingly put aside rational thinking and take up the opportunity. Only to experience new things. But because activities like swimming or other fun stuff are right in front of you, they have lost their adrenaline rush, their special spark, so you'll look over them. And ruin them by overthinking and digging up different fears and reasons to stay away from them. In simple words, you're immensely engrossed with seeing the bigger picture that you're missing out on the pleasure of the little things. Such as swimming, floating in the middle of the waves."

I open my mouth to argue, but he has a point. Frankly, I feel attacked. I clamp my mouth shut and cross my arms in front of my chest. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right.

No, I was not supposed to lose this argument.

I try to come up with a practical answer while his gaze remains on me. From the side of my view, I catch his toothy smile.

I can't believe I'm saying this! "Fine, you might have a point." I turn to him and he arches an eyebrow, his eyes glinting. "But-"

He interrupts me with a sigh, and feigns disappointment, "Anything before but is bullshit, should've known better than to expect you'll agree with me."

I roll my eyes. "Thank your lucky stars I'm not pushing you off this thing and letting you actually experience getting lost in the sea."

He throws his head back and guffaws, his shoulders shaking while I glare at the horizon.

"I was saying," I start. He clears his throat, and straightens himself, focusing on me. With a deep breath, I continue, "You of all people don't get to criticize me. When you stole my very thrilling and space-related, innovative idea for our end project months ago in university."

He chuckles. "I did not steal it. And I wasn't criticizing, I was just pointing out a fact." I'm ready with my answer, but he quickly adds, "It inspired me. And we mostly worked together. You can't deny it was great."

"It wasn't. But since my work turned out to be much better, I have little to complain." I smile to myself, recalling our professor's compliment directed to me. Now that was amazing. "No matter what you say, having the chance of exploring the unknown parts of this world and astronomical objects, is way more fascinating than this." I incline to the expanse.

A beat of silence passes and I push my glasses up my nose. "You can't even deny that is not better than seeing ugly fishes." I scrunch up my face and he laughs. "Also, adding pressure to the surface is always easier than reducing it." I quirk an eyebrow at him, waiting for his reply.

When he smiles and shakes his head, I grin.

"There you go, I win. Therefore, I rest my case." I beam with satisfaction as I stare at the stretch of the sea.

I feel Adrien's gaze on me and after a second I divert my attention to him. His eyes spark with an emotion I might reflect if I ever would have gotten the chance to see professor Hawking. Or traveled the time to meet Tesla or Einstein.

I narrow my eyes. "What?"

He grins. "You look cute talking about things you're confident about."

I gape at him before turning away immediately. Heat rushes to my cheeks. I clasp my hands but change my mind and lay my palm on my elbow, before clasping my fingers again. My arms and legs are out of place as I struggle to shove aside my intensified self-awareness.

I shouldn't have asked that.

The seconds stretch forever, but thankfully Adrien stops it from dragging on by adding, "But that doesn't mean because I don't have an answer I agree with you. You're overthinking this entire topic. I think you're sea phobic."

"I do not have Thalassophobia," I snap.

He laughs, "Oh shit, it has a name." A giggle bubbles out of me. He clears his throat, "But you do, just the way you fear heights," he beams.

I glare at him, opening my mouth to decline it, but he cocks his head, arching his eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "Don't," he warns playfully. I attempt to protest again, pointing my index finger at his grinning face. "Don't," he repeats. I give in with a huff.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms in front of my chest as I stare in the opposite direction, making him guffaw. To stop from joining him, I bite my bottom lip, cursing at laughter for being contagious. But it doesn't take long before a smile cracks on my lips.

And I can't avoid thinking, Adrien's back to his usual self, the one that when the gang's not present. I've never even seen him smile around anyone other than Arianna, me, and Dylan.

I push aside that thought and gaze at the cloudless blue sky as wind brushes over us.

We fall into a comfortable silence. Like we're the only ones in this wide world. Absurdly, The Fault in Our Stars' Hazel Grace pops into my mind. The part where she and Augustus are talking on the phone and the line from Gus' side goes quiet, but not dead. Where she feels like they are not each in their own rooms but were together. 'In some invisible and tenuous third space that could only be visited on the phone'.

Now I can understand what John Green meant by it. Because I am in that third space with Adrien. Just by standing together and watching the ripples, the sun rays reflecting off of water. Engulfed by the sound of the sea crashing to the yacht and the scent of salt and whatever that oceans smell of.

Another breeze caresses us, ruffling my hair.

"Eleanor," Adrien starts. I study his features, while he continues, "Are you alright?" he questions in a gentle voice.

I frown with confusion. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

His gaze never leaves my face. He lifts his shoulder in a shrug. "Did something happen after we spoke this morning?"

I shake my head. He leans to me, locking our eyes.

"Did someone say something? You can tell me, Eleanor," he insists and urges me in the most tender tone possible while searches my face.

"Nothing happened. No one said anything to me," I assure him, but the arch in his eyebrow suggests it didn't convince him. Before he gets the chance to inquire further, I repeat my question, "why do you ask?"

Disappointment puckers his brows and clouds his feature as he backs away. "Something was off when you came out. I-" he sighs and pushes a hand through his hair. "If you want to leave, it's okay. I'll inform the captain to take us back to the shore. And don't worry about the others."

"No need to do that, everything's alright," I reassure him.

"Something was wrong," he insists, "you weren't yourself, and-" he groans, "don't lie to me, please Eleanor."

I can't tell him it was because of my parents' phone call. So I restate, "Everything's fine."

He scoffs, "Staring at nowhere for over fifteen minutes is not fine," and exhales, "but if you need to leave or anything, you can talk to me. And if not with me then speak with Ri. But don't say everything's okay, 'cause I saw it wasn't."

How did he notice that?

For a moment I'm tempted to find out how he keeps an eye on multiple things, but I hold my tongue.

He looks ahead, fixing on the horizon. "What?"

"Nothing," I squeak.

He rolls his eyes, corners of his mouth tugging up, "Ask, Eleanor."

"I didn't want to ask anything," I cross my arms in front of my chest. In a side glance, I detect his features softening with amusement.

He turns to me, giving me a pointed gaze, a playful smile playing on his lips, "So you're saying there were no questions? But you got the look."

"What? I don't have a look," I state.

A toothy smile breaks on his face. "Yes, you do, when you have a sudden question. Your eyebrow twitches and you widen your eyes slightly."

"No, I don't!" I glare at him. He laughs again.

I turn away from him and he laughs harder, before draping his arm around my shoulder.

"How can you always be so stubborn?" he teases.

I snap my head to him, opening my mouth to object, but he's faster. He furrows his brows, barely holding back his grin, "No, I'm not," he exclaims in a pitched voice, in an attempt of imitating me.

I gasp, "Adrien," and push him away, glaring at him. He doubles up with laughter and too soon for my liking, I join him.

Suddenly the realization trickles into my brain. In minutes, Adrien uplifted my mood by drastic measures.

A grin stays back from my laughter as we both quiet down and fall into a comfortable silence. Having friends is so much better than I ever imagined. Especially when they are people like Adrien, Arianna, and Dylan.

I, the outcast Eleanor, have friends. Warmth blossoms in me. Gratitude, and reassurance. It feels fantastic.

+++

((Acumen's first 2021 update! ^^

So, initially this chapter wasn't going to be a happy one, but then I changed my mind, 'cause it's the first update of this new year, and let's start it with a positive vibe =))

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and tell me what you think about it ^.^

Thank you for reading, love you all, stay safe! <33 ))