"Fuck life, I really need this shit," Kaitlyn greeted Angela when she opened the door of her car. Kaitlyn threw her handbag on the backseats and made room for Angela. "Hi, it's been a while."

"Hi," Angela smiled and sat inside the car, holding on to her phone tightly once she closed the car door. "Did Kara block you or something?"

Kara was usually Kaitlyn's go-to friend for parties, or even just for a normal hanging out. Angela hung out with them sometimes, but with both of their bubbly personalities it was hard to keep up. So more often than not she found an excuse to either leave early or not go at all.

"Are you jealous or something?" Kaitlyn laughed and drove off the parking spot and on the road. The destination before the concert was unclear, just like always. Whenever Kaitlyn picked her up, it was a surprise, often for both of them. They usually drove until they reached an interesting place, whether it is a bar or just a spot in the woods, then got out and explored.

"No, just asking..." Angela shifted slightly in her seat then looked out of the window. The city she lived in wasn't too big. One part of it was covered in tall buildings and fancy houses, while the other part was a bit calmer, filled with family neighbourhoods and parks. It was a nice balance, plus there were a lot of trees and flowers around the city. It felt cozy.

"What's up with you?" Kaitlyn asked and glanced over to Angela. Her hair was long and brown, not as thick as Angela's of which she was a bit jealous of. Her style was always punk rock, although she sometimes wore something completely stupid and pink to top it off. She was a bit more of a free spirit which Angela loved. The black and silver rings on her fingers matched her black nails . The black skirt she wore showed her slim and long legs of which Angela was again jealous of. She was jealous of Kaitlyn, her looks, her body. She was perfect in her eyes. Even her breasts were the perfect size, a bit towards the smaller size which Angela wanted. She hated it when she put on the seatbelt and the belt split her breasts in half and only make them poke out more. She hated that sight for some reason. Also, she didn't like big bras, they were uncomfortable.

"Just a bad day, I guess... And you? How are you doing?" Angela simply replied, not wanting to go into details at all. Kaitlyn was aware of her problems, Angela talked about it to her sometimes, but she never knew to what extend, not really.

"Oh, I'm good. School's going well. I have two more exams and then I finish my year," Kaitlyn grinned and put the car into a higher gear as they reached a straight non-busy road, leading out of the city. "I have to write a whole god damn paper on how I would promote the rock festival, though."

"M-fest?" Angela asked and glanced at Kaitlyn. M-fest was a rock festival that happened each year in July for four days right outside of the city. It was big enough to host a few bands each day and have around two thousand visitors. "Are you doing a collaboration with them?"

"I wish. It's just a paper. Our professor won't organise such a thing. It would be cool though, give some ideas to the festival and if they like it, they let you actually work with them. Plus, it would be nice to get free tickets for it," Kaitlyn laughed. She was already in her first year of masters in tourism.

"Did you already start writing it?"

"I have a few ideas, but... Not yet. I have two weeks to write it though, so that's more than enough time."

Angela and Kaitlyn have already reached the starting point of the woods. The road that led through it was well kept and lit, so it wasn't at all scary walking there during the night. Angela took Kaitlyn's phone which was already unlocked, paused on a youtube video. She scrolled through the recommended videos before she stopped at one song. I'm a Believer by Smash Mouth. Ah yes, the good old days of Shrek are back. Grinning, she tapped on it and soon enough the speakers in the car started playing the song loud enough for it to be heard outside of the car. Both of them to looked at each other and laughed.

"I thought love was only true in fairytales," Kaitlyn begun, her hands gripping on the steering wheel, her eyes on the road.

"Meant for someone else but not for me," Angela sang, the smile on her face staying wide. This was their song, this was their jam.

"Love was out to get me, that's the way it seemed, disappointment haunted all my dreams..." Kaitlyn moved her head left and right to the beat of the song, smiling wide and singing. Then once it came to the main theme of the song, she looked towards Angela, her smile only widening if it was possible, lifting her hand up leading towards the chorus.

"And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer!" Angela and Kaitlyn both screamed at the top of their lungs once the chorus hit. "And not a trace of doubt in my mind! I'm in love, oh! I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried," Angela waved her hands as she sang at the top of her voice, Kaitlyn following her lead, though maintaining enough focus on the road.

"Fuck yeah!" Kaitlyn laughed and let out an excited scream. Angela looked at her and gave her a genuine smile. This is what friends are, this is the reason Angela still held on.

Thank you, Kaitlyn, for exiting.

-----

"So, have you thought about it?" Kaitlyn leaned back on her arms, her hands resting and supporting the weight of her torso. Her legs were stretched out and crossed, her hair falling behind her back. It was nice and warm that day. Although the sun was hiding behind the clouds, it was still warm enough to sit outside and enjoy the slight breeze every that came once in a while.

"It could be fun," Angela picked up a small rock she found next to her and threw it on the grass. "Teaching rockers classical piano," Angela chuckled and threw another small rock in front of her.

"Exactly. It's a whole new world, right?" Kaitlyn leaned back, her elbows now supporting her weight in the grass.

Angela looked towards her then back up at the sky. "I guess."

"Do you want me to contact the guy?"

"Wait, no, this is only an idea, right? It's not happening, not yet at least, right?" Angela panicked. To create a 'class' for studying instruments at the festival was a big commitment. Angela had to find other 'teachers' for other instruments first, and instruments to borrow of course. Without the teachers and eqipment, it was useless to plan.

"Just an idea for now," Kaitlyn nodded and smiled towards Angela before looking away and up at the sky.

They've been sitting there in the grass for about an hour now. They drove around for about twenty minutes before Kaitlyn stopped the car and got out. She had two beers with her which Angela gladly opened and took a few sips of. It was calm there, not much traffic on the road, the grass was tall enough to already have a few white flowers around and it was a warm day. It was nice.

"Do your bad days happen often?" Kaitlyn brought her beer up to her lips and took a sip before placing it back down on the ground. She looked at Angela and offered her a small smile. "If you don't mind me asking."

Angela pressed her lips together and sighed. For some reason, as simple as these kind of questions were, it was hard to answer them. Harder than questions they give you at a university exam. At least for her.

"I wouldn't really call it a bad day at this point anymore..." Angela leaned forward and picked up a small pebble. "I have good moments, happy moments. Like, like before in the car," Angela smiled immediately, thinking of them singing to their song. That was a good moment, that was a moment to remember. "The rest is just... It's become normal to me."

Kaitlyn turned her head towards Angela, her breathing calm and her body relaxed, though a slight worrisome expression appeared on her face. "How do you handle it?"

"I don't know. I barely do."

Kaitlyn looked back at the sky then lied down in the grass. She knew Angela's situation with school, with her family and the fact that she is in therapy. But they didn't talk about it much, not wanting to pry too much into Angela and how she feels. "Aurora's been feeling down lately, and I don't know how to help her."

"Be there for her, that's what you can do for now..." Angela replied, pushing her hair back from her face and then looked at Kaitlyn. "Maybe she will reach out to you at some point. Just be there when she does and make sure she knows it."

Angela reached out to Aurora as well, but she didn't really get a positive reply back. Kaitlyn was worried, she knew her to the very detail even if Aurora was more of a closed off person, Kaitlyn managed to get through to her sister from time to time. But now, she was not budging, she was not communicating, she was not leaving the house.

"She doesn't answer my calls," Kaitlyn complained and then glanced at Angela. "Just like you don't... But with her, I haven't had much luck lately."

Angela offered a small apologetic smile then finally threw the pebble she picked up and was holding it in her hands until now. "I dread your phone calls, I hate your messages. I get scared when my phone vibrates... But when I do answer you, I feel better."

"Thanks for your honesty," Kaitlyn chuckled and sighed again. Aurora had her ups and downs, it happened before that she completely isolated herself, almost disappeared completely then came back like nothing happened. It was just one of those times where she needed to step away. Though knowing that didn't make Kaitlyn worry any less.

"How's your therapy going?"

"Fine," Angela simply replied. She didn't really have an answer to that question. She never knew what to say. She didn't see much progress, they only spent hours talking about useless things. No progress, no feeling better, no tools that worked with calming down. It was like she was doing nothing for her health. "I like my therapist, she's nice."

"How does therapy even look like?" Good for Kaitlyn that she never tried it, that she never had to talk to some professional about her feelings and how to cope with them. Good for her that her head is in check.

"She asks me what happened up until the appointment, I tell her about my breakdowns and then we try to figure out why and how, I guess." Angela shrugged and picked up another pebble. It was dark and smooth, almost looked like a guitar pick. "Sometimes I lie, sometimes I tell the truth."

"What do you lie about?" Kaitlyn propped herself back up on her elbows, her attention now completely on Angela.

"Well, I don't really lie. I just... fail to mention it." Angela chuckled at her own reply then lifted up the pebble awfully similar to a pick, to show it to Kaitlyn. "Look, it's for rock music."

Kaitlyn looked at the pebble then rolled her eyes at her, only giving her a smile. "I saw this joke on Tumblr already."

"Yeah, fuck you too." Angela chuckled then threw the pebble in the grass, away from her. She liked sitting there in peace, nothing waiting for her, no pressure and no tasks. For that moment, she was free there with Kaitlyn, she was relaxed.

"What do you fail to mention?" Kaitlyn wasn't the one to just forget a conversation, even if Angela tried many times to derail it. She made sure to come back to where they left off, at one point or another.

Angela didn't want to reply to that question. It was a subject she rarely spoke about. She got used to speaking about her days, how she feels and what she would want to do if she could in that moment. But these things were still secret to here, these things she didn't want to openly share.

"Before you called, I wasn't exactly doing well." Angela pulled on the grass and took it between her fingers, looking at the bright colour. "I had some... dark thoughts."

"You wanted to die." Kaitlyn understood what Angela meant but did not want to say. Kaitlyn wasn't new to this conversation, but she tried her best to be gentle about it. "What-" Kaitlyn stopped before continuing again. "What stopped you?"

Pressing her hand together, trapping the grass between her palms, Angela clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. If only Kaitlyn knew how many times Angela tried to do something, but failed each time. Either not even trying it, ending up crying on the floor or just simply didn't do it enough, didn't cut enough and didn't swallow enough.

"I don't know."

Kaitlyn hummed at the reply then slowly laid back down in the grass. If the sun wasn't hiding behind the clouds, the day would have been perfect. But there was always something missing for some reason.

It's been a while since Angela sat outside with someone, not necessarily talking about her problems, but just having normal conversation. She missed it. Lately her conversations mostly consisted of her worries, empty promises and anger. Each time Angela promises herself that she would try to go out more often with Kaitlyn, and each time she falls back into her same old routine - dodging calls and texts.

"Well, if it means anything, I'm glad you didn't," Kaitlyn's voice was soft and quiet, but it sounded genuine. For a change, Angela appreciated hearing those words.

Angela and Kaitlyn sat and lied there for a while, letting the conversation die down between them and allowing to be both in each own's head. Angela loved how they could sit in silence comfortably. Oh, and the beer was a nice touch, too. Which reminded Angela, she should finish it if they had to go soon.

Taking another sip of her beer, Angela sighed and looked up at the clouds. "When's the concert again?"

"Eight."

Angela picked up her phone and unlocked it, checking the time and opening Instagram out of habbit. She checked a few Instagram stories before locking it and putting it in her pocket.

"I forgot what the time was," Angela groaned after thinking about the clock which made Kaitlyn laugh.

"It's seven or something, I checked before."

"Should we go then?" Angela questioned, picking up another pebble. This one looked like nothing in particular, but it had a nice brown color to it.

"If you want," Kaitlyn sat up and cleaned her palms and elbows.

"Sure," Angela threw the pebble a few meters in front of her and smiled slightly in Kaitlyn's direction. "Thanks, you know, for today."

Kaitlyn got up and offered Angela her hand which she gladly took. She helped her up and started walking slowly towards the car. "It's not finished yet."

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