I laid on his bed, my head resting on his chest, feeling it lift up and down. I heard his heart beat against my cheek and smiled. He played with my hair, what probably was one of the best things in the world.

"Ryan?", he asked with a deep voice.

"Yeah."

"Do you know the day you played 'across the universe' by the Beatles for me?", he asked, continuing to stroke my hair slowly.

"I do, why?", I asked.

"I played it on the piano, wanna hear it?", he asked.

"What? Really? Yeah, sure! I would love to", I said sitting up looking at his face seeing a bright smile appearing on it.

"Ok, then come downstairs with me", he said standing up, followed by me. He laid his hands on my hips and pulled me into a kiss, that lasted longer than usual.

"If we continue like this we will never get to the piano", he chuckled.

"I don't have anything against continuing", I answered smiling against his lips.

He laughed and pulled away looking right into my eyes. His cheeks were red as tomatoes, probably like mine.

"No, I really want to play the song", he said letting go of me before walking out of the room.

I rolled my eyes smiling and went after him. The piano stood in the living room, next to a guitar. Brendon took a seat and played a little bit with his fingers, before sitting into the right position.

"Uhm, I don't know what you think of my voice, I actually never really sang in front of anybody except mum and katie, so I'm sorry if my voice is bad, but just listen alright?", he rambled, scratching his neck.

"I would love to hear you sing", I answered, "I've been waiting long for that."

He chuckled and looked at the piano tiles in front of him, sitting up straighter before laying his fingers on the white and black tiles.

Start the song NOW! It's a cover of across the universe (by the Beatles) sung by Ryan and Brendon (I fucking LOVE this cover, so enjoy:))

First I just heard the piano playing, his slim fingers flying over the piano so smoothly, you didn't even notice he was touching them. He knew what he did and it was beautiful.

And then I think I heard the most wonderful thing on this entire universe. He started singing and shocking me with his voice completely. It was deep and nasal, but he also sang pretty high. I was never good in describing things, but too be honest, his voice wasn't describable. It was so smooth and beautiful, you could listen to it all day long.

Then I picked the guitar from the floor and started to sing the refrain with him. He seemed to be surprised at first but then he smiled and sang with me.

Just now I realised how well or voices harmonize with each other. Or maybe it was just what I heard, but it sounded perfectly.

I stopped singing and Brendon continued with the verse. He was nervous, I saw that. The way his eyes flicker from tile to tile, how silent he sang, eventhough I knew exactly he could sing louder and more impulsive.

Sometimes you gotta sing more quiet to actually feel the song in your heart.

And that's what he did. He sang silently, but he meant every word.

The refrain came again and I joined Brendon like I did last time. He smiled while singing at first, but continued professional.

For a short moment I even forgot what happened before and I think Brendon did too. The only things existing right now were the piano, the guitar, Brendon and me.

The song came to an end and both of us stayed silent.
I was still shocked about brendons voice and piano skills.

"Wow, that was beautiful", I told him with wide eyes.

"Thanks, you also sang really good", he said a blush appearing on his cheeks, causing me to smile.

"No, I really mean it! You're voice... is just so unique and wonderful, why didn't you sing before?"

"Uhm, I never really thought it was that good... So I kinda sang for me", he chuckled scratching the back of his neck, his cheeks becoming redder and redder.

"Are you kidding me? You sound amazing!", I said, laying my hand and his chin to lift his face.

He pressed his lips together and smiled bright.

"We should do more together.... like singing and stuff", he mumbled nervously.

"Like in a band?", I asked him.

"Exactly! Our voices harmonize perfectly with each other! And you can play the guitar, that's perfect! Now we just need someone to play the drums and one for the bass!", he said standing up excited.

"Woah, Brendon! What about we just cover songs?", I asked him raising my eyebrow.

"Why? Don't you wanna be in a band?", he asked sounding dissapointed.

"No, no! I want to! It's just, I've never been in a band and I don't think I'm that good", I said. Actually I didn't want to be in the band, because I didn't want to also let him down with the band in over 9-8 months.

"Ryan, you're perfect! You can sing, you can play the guitar and you write amazing lyrics! You're a genius! And I love it! So please, don't think of yourself like that, because you're a golden god!", he said coming closer.

"You think so?", I asked slowly.

"Of course I do. Who doesn't?", he chuckled.

"Many people, bren."

"Screw them", he said smiling.

His face was so close, I grabbed his shirt and pressed my lips on his, I couldn't resist that smile. He immediately kissed back, his hand moving to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him.

"Lets go to my room and think of a good band name!", Brendon suggested, pulling away.

"If you want to", I sighed, but still smiling.

"Great! I'm so excited!", he giggled running up go his room like a little kid.

How on earth can someone be so adorable?

****

"So, we're going to cover some songs first?", Brendon asked slowly, "or own songs?"

"I would say cover songs at first, we can think of the rest later", I said falling down on his bed.

"And what are we going to call us? It has to be a catchy name! A name the world will remember!", he said falling down next to me, "were going to be that one band in a million the world will remember!"

"Don't set your hopes to high", I chuckled.

"If you don't have high hopes, then how are you going to reach your dreams?", he asked me quietly.

"I just don't wanna get you dissapointed, when it won't go the way you want it to."

"You'll never know if you could've won when you never fought", he answered looking at the ceiling.

"Anyway", he said, "Lets think of a good name."

"Uhm.... I don't know honestly."

"Me too. Let's think about that later, maybe something will come naturally", Brendon said sitting up straight, "So what are you waiting for? Grab your guitar and let's cover some songs!"

And that's what we did, we listened to our favourite songs, which were fortunately the same, and tried to cover them. We kissed and sang, kissed and sang.

And both of us were the happiest boys on this earth.

****

I checked my phone when Brendon went downstairs to bring some food to his room. My eyes widened and I nervously began to bite my lip.

20 missed calls by Susan

15 missed calls by Spencer

My phone was silent to whole day, because I didn't want something to interrupt us. But why did they call that often? What time is it...?

I looked at my watch and stopped breathing for a moment.

10 pm.

I didn't even notice how dark it already was outside, Brendon also didn't seem to care about the weather. My friends were probably sick of worry.

"Do you like chee - Hey, why are you so nervous?", brendons asked coming into the room.

"It's about Susan and Spencer, they don't know I'll stay the night and I think they think I'm dead by now."

"Why would they think you're dead?"

"Nah, it's complicated. I'll call them quickly and then we can watch a movie or something like this", I said giving him a peck on the cheek before walking out of the room already dialing Susan's number.

"George Ryan Ross the third! Where the fuck are you again?", Susan asked angrily.

"Also good evening to you, susan", I said, but I could see her rolling her eyes in front of me.

"Ryan, that's not funny, we were worried! And that's the second time this week!"

"I'm sorry, I'm with Brendon, I think I'll stay the night here if that's alright", I told her.

"Ok, that's good. Just be careful, not that you loose your virginity", she chuckled.

"Oh, uhm."

"Wait. Don't tell me you already did", she said.

"I mean kinda...", I said.

"How can you kinda loose your virginity?!"

"Calm down Susan!"

"Was it Brendon?"

"Of course it was him, who else?", I asked.

She sighed on the other line and said: "next time you're immediately telling me things like this. I wanna know everything. That's something important! I also told you about my first time!"

"Sorry, but I was kinda nervous", I said, "is everything alright again between us?"

"Yeah, I think so...", she mumbled.

I smiled to myself and said: "great. I have to hang up now, but we'll talk tomorrow."

"Ok, wait, do you go to school tomorrow?", she asked.

"Probably not, he needs me now", I said.

"I understand. It's nice how much you care about him, I really feel sorry for him", she said softly.

"Are becoming sentimental?", I asked smirking.

"Oh come on! I also have feelings, I'm not that heart less!", she said.

I chuckled and said :"Bye, Susan."

"Bye, Ry."

With that I hung up, still a smile on my face.
I opened the door the brendons room and saw him laying on his bed with crossed legs.

"Is she mad at you?", he asked when he heard me coming in.

"Nope, not at all", I said laying down next to him.

He nod silently and began to stroke my hair slowly. I knew he was thinking about something, his eyes were focused on a poster above his bed.

"What are you thinking about?", I asked him.

"Mum", he simply said.

"Oh."

"No, it's ok. She always said it's ok to be sad for a time, as long as I'll get over it."

"That sounds wise", I said.

"Yeah, she was wise sometimes, her talks about life were always getting on my nerves, but now I begin to understand. Kinda late, huh?"

"It's never to late, bren."

"True though."

It went silent again and I started to think. I wanted to ask Brendon something, but I didn't know if it was right to ask now, but I had to.

"Who's Micheal?", I asked already regretting it.

He turned his face to me looking me straight into the eyes, full of sadness.

"I'm sorry for asking, you don't have to answer", I quickly added.

"No, I understand why you ask. It's just a sensitive topic for me.... he was my brother. You know we were always six kids and Jess, James and Simon were the trio, the 'elder siblings'. Micheal was one year older than me and with Katie we were the 'younger trio'. We were inseparable and did everything together. When Jess, James and Simon moved away it were just us three then and mum of course. One week after Jess, the last one who left us, finally moved into her house, I was ill and Micheal wanted to surprise me with a cupcake, because he knows how much I love them.
I can still remember how he stood in front of my bed telling me he wanted to surprise me with something. I know it wasn't exactly a surprise, because when he said he wanted to surprise me, he always bought me a cupcake. So he stood in front of me giving me one last smile before stepping out of the building. I was excited for the cupcake, because mum never bought me one, because i already was too hyper.
Micheal was shot in the middle of the street on the way home to bring me the cupcake. He immediately died there, meaning he didn't have to suffer."

A tear was running down his face, but he didn't wipe it away, "I knew something was up. He never needed that much time to come back, so I began to feel nervous. When we got the message of what happened, I think a part of me died. That's why my mum cared so much about Katie and me. I couldn't see a fucking cupcake for over a year, I know that sounds weird, but I always thought that it was my fault somehow. He wouldn't have went out, if I wasn't Ill."

"It's not your fault, his time came", I said, I didn't even realise I was sobbing.

"Why are you sobbing?", Brendon asked me with puffy eyes.

"I don't know", I mumbled, "c'mere."

I wrapped my arms around his strong body and laid my chin on his head. He rested his head on my chest. We stayed like this for a long time. Brendon didn't cry to my surprise, he just sobbed sometimes.

When we pulled away he gave me a weak smile before cuddling up by my side.

"I'm tired", he said yawning.

"Then let's sleep. It was a long day", I said.

After we brushed our teeth and put on some more comfortable clothes, we laid down next to each other on the bed cuddling.

"You smell good", Brendon mumbled against my chest.

"I didn't use perfume today", I said.

"No, I mean it smells like you", he whispered more to himself than to me. Yeah, he was exhausted and really needed to sleep.

"Good night bren", I said leaving a kiss on the top of his head.

"Goodnight Ry."

Shortly after that I already heard Brendon sobbing. Let's just hope He sleeps and dreams well. For me it wasn't that easy to fall asleep. Many things were running through my head. Brendon went through so much, No one should be in his position, but he's still one of the most optimistic and nicest human beings on this planet.

He was braver than everyone I knew.

And I know.... It's pretty early, but I got this feeling.... That I can't describe. But I'm scared to say it out loud.

But I mean, it would be right, because I do love him.

I just know that! My heart tells me this and I never ever felt this before, so it was maybe real? I always thought it was just a dream or a story for little kids, but no, love does exists.

But I'll wait to say:

I love you, Brendon.

******