Can time freeze?

Maybe.

But I think it can. You feel nothing but your heart beat and you hear nothing except the blood rushing in your ears.

You try to move but you can't, you're shocked. You breath heavily and try to stay calm.

Adrenaline.

Adrenaline is the only think that doesn't make you freak out in a situation like this. It keeps you alive. I don't really wanna know what pain I would've felt if there wasn't adrenaline streaming through my veins.

I laid on my back, that's the only thing I knew. My head was turned to my left side and I felt the cold asphalt under my head. And there was red. I think under normal circumstances I wouldn't have liked it, or I even would've pucked, but now I didn't really care. Above me was the car. Or better, a piece of my car. The door was right in front of my eyes, and not with the car anymore.

This reminded me of the day Susan got this cut because of an car accident. The car was so broken, the door also laid a few meters away from the car. I thought this barely happens, but here I was. Laying on the cold ground looking at the cars door.

My whole body felt numb, but I think this is better than feeling something now. I just hoped someone will see me.

Then a man with a blue shirt came. He hair was gray, I think he was around 40. He looked at me with wide eyes and covered his mouth with his hand.

Do I look that horrible?

He moved his mouth, he probably asked me something, but I couldn't understand anything. Maybe he's a father? For me he looks like a typical football obsessed dad. I can already imagining him seeing his kid doing any sport activities and him being the proudest dad alive.

Is he alright? I hope his kids aren't here and have to watch this scenario.

The man said something again, but I didn't even hear it. He pulled his phone out and called a number, maybe an ambulance?

Then he tried to pull me out of the car. I wanted to help him but I could barely move. Everything around me was spinning.

Maybe I should just stay awake and try to concentrate on other things. The man came again gripping my arm. I took a look at it and I wasn't even shocked.

There was blood. Many blood. Nearly my whole arm was covered in it. My eyelids began to become heavier every second.

Stay awake, I told myself.

But I couldn't. Everything went back and my eyes closed.

*****

Then I woke up again and was immediately greeted by bright lights above me. Then I saw a doctor I think, next to me. The ground under me moved fastly. I think I was in a car. I still couldn't hear anything. The man said something to me, according to his moving lips.
I wish I could read lips.

But I could move my head a bit, but it hurt. Not the kind of pain after you fell out you cut yourself. No, it was a dulled pain, like you're on too many medications.

I pressed my eyes for a short moment together because of the pain.

My head bean to spin again, but not that heavy. I probably got a hit on my head. What exactly happened actually? I don't know, probably a car crash.
I hope the other person is alright, or did I drive against a tree or lantern?
I don't know.

The car came to a stop and a women and the men picked the  barrow up I laid on and brought me out of the car. They drove me into a light, white building, I knew exactly. It's the hospital Cristina works at. Maybe I'm going to see her.

I was brought to a room with many doctors in, one of them was Cristina fortunately. She looked at me with wide eyes and covered her mouth with he hand. The doctor next to her, who had long dark blonde hair told her something, followed by Cristina talking. If I only could hear what their saying. Then the eyes of the other woman widened. I tried to read her name card.

Dr. Grey.

Sounds nice, actually.

Cristina talked to me but I just furrowed my eyebrows. I have to signalise her that I can't hear anything! I tried to shake my head but I think she didn't understand it. Then another doctor with red hair came, wanting to pull her out of the room, but Cristina mounted something what probably meant something like:

"No! Fuck off!"

The ginger doctor talked with her and hold her tight to herself. Who is he? Is he her new boyfriend, or something like that? Cristina never let's people that close to her.

Dr. Gray told her something calmly making Cristina to finally go away. No, don't go, were my only thoughts.

Dr. Grey probably seemed to notice it because she looked me in the eyes and mouthed an "it's ok."

This calmed me down a bit before everything around me went black again.

******

Peep. Peep. Peep

I finally woke up by the sound of a monitor. I opened my eyes slowly seeing one of this hospital monitor next to me you always see in movies. I have no clue how they're called.

"Ryan! You're awake", Susan said next to me grabbing my hand. Under her eye were black lines, it looked like tear streams with mascara.

"Wh-what happened?", I asked mumbling. My throat felt sore and dry.

"You were in a car accident", she said, sobbing a bit, "you jerk, don't scare me like this again!"

"Sorry", I chuckled.

"Hey man, how are you feeling?", Asked Spencer behind Susan.

"It's ok", I said eventhough I felt tired.

We talked for a while before Gerard and Mikey joined us. They both bought me flowers for my room. Really kind of them. Then the door opened and Dr. Grey came in.

She told me I had a few injuries in my head and that I broke my arm, but the most things she spoke off were understandable for me. Like I said, she's a nice woman.

"Oh, Ryan!", Cristina said walking to my bed, "what the fuck did you do?!"

"Cristina calm down", I told her, "I'm fine, the doctor said it by herself."

"He's alright, Meredith, right?", Cristina asked Dr. Grey, who just nodded.

"You scared the living shit out of me when I saw you. You couldn't hear me right? You bled in your brain, and that probably dashed your hearing for a short time", she explained to me.

Now it makes sense, I already thought I was going insane.

But then I thought of something, more of someone.

"Where's Brendon?", I immediately asked trying to sit up straighter but failed because it hurt to much. I shouldn't forget I was in a car accident a few hours ago.

"Calm down Ryan, we think it's better for you and him if he doesn't know it yet", Susan said.

"What? Why? I want him here!", I said.

"Ryan, you read the letter. Don't fall to hard for him", she said looking at me with worried eyes.

"No! Fuck this letter, I want him here, call him please!" I nearly begged.

She sighed and nod her head: "Ok, we're gonna call him, but calm down ok?"

I nod, smiling slightly.

Susan hung up and looked at me with a smile: "he'll be here in twenty minutes."

"Thanks", I said.

Dr. Grey went away, unfortunately Cristina also had to go away.

"Wait, Cristina!", I said, "who was that red haired doctor next to you?"

Her cheeks became slightly red but she tried to put her poker face on.

"Just a doctor. His name is Dr. Hunt"

"Sureeeeee", I said smirking, "he looked hot, go get him!"

She rolled her eyes at me and left the room. She totally likes him.

I looked nervously on the clock, over and over again. When is brendon here?
Every minute I stared at the clock, 20 minutes were already over.

Then, finally the door opened revealing a worried Brendon, who looked at me with shocked eyes.

"Damn, Ryan, what did you do?", he asked me stepping closer, "are you alright?"

"Yeah, I am alright", I said trying to smile.

"Ok, let them two be alone now", gerard said standing up tapping mikey on the shoulder, who just walked away with his brother.

Susan sighed and gave me a smile before walking away with spencer.

Brendon sat down on the chair next to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, making me blush a bit.

"So, what happened?", he asked me, so I told him, about the accident and everything, the grey haired man, and dr. Grey. I told him about everything except the reason why I decided in first place to drive. I couldn't tell him just yet about this whole situation. Right now he definitely wouldn't believe me.

"Please be more careful while driving. I don't know what I would've done if something serious would've happened to you", he said gripping my hand.

"Yeah, I promise you, I'll be more careful."

He smiled and we bit talked for a while.

*****

The next days the same doctor came and went away again. I had some injuries in my brain, or something like this, so the neurosurgeon Dr. Shepherd came. For my broken arm there was dr. O'malley, who was also the doctor who also is the doctor, brendon told me about. He was right, dr. O'malley was really nice to me.

I'm here now for over three weeks, I got hit really bad on the head.

I just hope I can get out of here in a short time, because it gets kinda boring just sitting here in a hospital bed. My friends are always here, also brendon, who who visits me everyday, without one exeption.

This day he wasn't alone.

"Ryan, sweetie, what happened?", brendons mum, Grace, asked coming in my room with brendon.

"I kinda got into a car accident", I said sitting up straighter. The pain was nearly gone by now.

"I hope you're feeling better, here I made pancakes, I hope you like them", she said, handing me a box with obviously pancakes in them.

"Thank you, Grace."

"You're welcome, I have to go to dr. Shepherd, you can stay here, right, Brendon?", she said turning her attention to the boy next to her.

He nod and whispered something to her making her smile.

Grace left the room and Brendon walked over to me.

"Are you feeling better today?", he asked, giving me again a quick peck on my cheek.

"The same as yesterday but better than the day it happened", I chuckled.

He smiled and looked down, scratching his neck.

"Brendon, is everything alright?", I asked him.

"My mum's here because of a doctor's appointment. That's what she wanted to talk to me about, you know, on the sleepover", he said pressing his lips together.

"Yeah, I know. Is she alright?", I asked. Dumb question, of course she isnt. She has cancer.

"Not really. It just got bigger and bigger, and the chemotherapy won't help. I'm scared Ryan", he said with watery eyes.

"It's gonna be ok, believe me. You told me the same about Susan, right? And she's ok, so please believe me", I said trying to hug him, but my broken arm really didn't help, "can you move a bit forward so I can hug you?"

He laughed slightly and hugged me, not to tight. God, I missed his hugs.

He let go of me, but this time with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, maybe you're right", he mumbled.

*****

"You're free to go", Dr. Gray told me smiling.

"Finally!", I sighed in relieve. I was now in this hospital for one fucking month!

Cristina stood next to the doctor smiling at me.

I carefully put on my clothes, Susan brought me and took a deep breath when I came out of the room.

Susan stood next to, the rest had to go to school. Susan skipped it for me.

"Why is there Brendon?", she said pointing at a boy who had his face buried in his hands, sitting in a chair in the waiting room, "and why is he crying?"

"Oh, no", I whispered to myself walking, well more running to him. Please don't tell me, what I think of.

I sat down next to him and pulled him closer to me, hugging him tight.

He flinched to look who I am but when he recognised me, he leaned into my touch.

He calmed down after a few minutes still sobbing.

"You want to tell me what happened?", I asked carefully.

He nod and said: "They said, that - that they can't operate, because it's too big and they would damage the brain, I knew this a long time ago, she already had one surgery, but it came back. And they said they can't do anything anymore. She's literally dead. The time will decide when she is."

"Im so sorry", I said already feeling the tears filling my eyes.

"It's ok, I mean, deep inside of me I knew this, but you still have this last part of hope in you, you don't want to let go of, but now it's gone. The hope is gone", he sobbed.

"Ryan? Are you free to go?"

I turned around, seeing grace coming out of a room with Dr. Shepherd.

I nodded pressing my lips together.

"That's great! I'm happy you feel better", she said, smiling. It was a sad smile, according to what brendon said, it's understandable. At least she tried to cover it.

She looked at brendon, who leaned on my shoulder still sobbing. She pressed her lips together and sat down next to him and rubbed his back.

He looked up and when he saw his mother he hugged her. I know I shouldn't cry in this situation, but I already tried hard not to let any tears out.

I felt something warm on my shoulder so I looked up, seeing Susan who smiled sadly at me. It's like she knew what happened. She knows me too well.

"Come, we'll go. Give them a bit time for themselves", Susan suggested. She was right, they probably need time alone.

"Brendon, we're going now. Call me if you need anything, ok?", I said giving him a smile.

He nod and leaned forward but immediately stopped because of his mother next to him.

"Bye", I said before walking out of the hospital.

"Is something with his mother?", Susan asked me when we where outside the building.

"Yes, and she probably won't survive it", I said, tears filling my eyes again, "and brendon just has his mum and four siblings. When she dies, what will happen to him?"

Now I was completely crying, Susan had to hold me.

"Hey, calm down, everything's gonna be alright", she whispered.

"And the worst thing is, that I have to leave him. I have to. But I don't wanna! First his dad, then his mum and now me? He doesn't deserve this. Brendon doesn't deserve this", I sobbed.

"I know, eventhough  I don't like him, no one deserves this, but you just know him for four-five months. He will get over it and move on, believe me. And you will too."

"You think he'll forget me?", I asked shocked.

"No, I didn't mean this! I mean, maybe you two are now madly in love, but that's just a phase, you are around 17 years old and know each other just for a few months. Enjoy the time here, but there will be many brendons in your life. Don't just hang on him! Open your eyes, you know you can't be with him, in a serious relationship for example", she said seriously.

"No! There won't be someone like him again! And you know that exactly! So stop with that!", I yelled back.

"You were so blind, you got into a car accident because you wanted to drive to him. Your thoughts weren't here. What would've happened if you died here? What? Would it be like you never was born? And what about your parents when we're back? Would you also be dead? You can't risk that, we don't know what will happen, just because you have a little crush on a boy."

"You don't understand it, Susan! That's different!", I yelled, "I thought I could always count on you, no matter what will happen."

"I just wanna take care of you! Ryan, you were in a heavy accident. It nearly broke my heart seeing you unconscious, I'm your cousin. I love you and when something like this would happen to you again, I don't know if I would get through it", she yelled back.

"You don't have to take care of me! I'm 17 years old, and not a child!"

"I know, Ryan! But you're gonna get hurt, if you continue with this", she said.

"You don't know anything!", I yelled, turning around.

I felt anger building in myself up, not exactly because I was angry at susan, no I was more angry about the fact that I knew exactly that she was right.

*****