He looked at me once before he put his head back to his Macbook as he said,

"Yeah, but she rejected me because her asshole of best friend has been ignoring her for almost half a year."  I noted his sarcasm tone before i realize what's he talking about. "And I'm so surprised that Reynald Baghaswara, The lead vocal of Across The Stars found my personal number and calling me because he heard about this so called crucial thing while he's been busy with his new world."

"You got rejected? H-How could? I gave you the chance to replacing my spot on her heart..." He cut me off.

"God damned, You're her best friend! And there's no way she will replaced you with anything in this world, especially me. Let's play it straight. You love her, right?" Now he looked at me and closed his Macbook. He walked into the nearest sofa in front of me.

"You know the answer, Dean. More than everybody could. I never planned to tell her, because i know i will always be a 'Best friend' nothing more, and i never want to ruined it. And actually i did this for her, to be close to her. I never like being famous, i sing and play guitar because i could make her smile when i sing. When she move to New York with my sister's boss i know i will never meet her again. I'm poor, i can't even afford a bus fare without wearing a uniform that time. I saved all my money every week, even i never bought anything from canteen because i want to make her smile because i treated her Puyo or Chatime at the mall near our school. I'm not like Kimberly, the daughter of your Head Officer in Indonesia; or Irvin, the son of Matsumoto's family lawyer who has a biggest firm law on my country. I don't have parent and only had my sister and my grandma who just passed away right on my High school graduation. Then when Kimberly's Brother, my room mates and my sister's Boyfriend asked me to make a band and posted it on Youtube, i accepted it because i have a hope that we will be famous as 5 Second of Freaking Summer, so i could meet her anytime i want." I paused as i looked at Dean who looked at me shockingly.

"I know it's stupid when i thought that there will be a hope for me someday when she would forget about a guy named Bradden. But then she meet you a year ago. Yes, God fulfilled my wish when i hope she will forget about him. But Fate never be on my side. She started to talked about you everyday. even when i mad at her and ignoring her forever. My voicemail has been full of her voice talking and sobbing about you. And I know that this time, I never really had a chance. And my words about 'i know that i don't have a happy ending story like the book we've always read at Wattpad' finally becoming true. And when Kimberly's brother gave me a choice to choose between love or life. I choose to continue my life, She already had you now and i believe she will has you forever. I'm just her supporting lead cast in her life, who will be by her side until she found her own main Character. And now when i know he's already with May, What should i do? Wait until she finally dumped me? I'm not that dumb, Dean. I choose to leave before people left. Because i know that in order to get my dream, i should lose one of my dream."

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i'm crying while writing this thats so stupid.

5th of July 2016