crossposting on AO3!

A/N: So... this story might sound sad, or depressive, or triggering... it might be, I don't really know how to measure that 'cos I don't get triggered, like ever? But I put all those tags because they are themes in the story. Still, I think it's cute and I love it, it doesn't make me sad at all while writing it.

Anyhow, at first I was just going to write this for myself 'cos I had been fantasising with death a lot (those are happy thoughts for me, okay? Don't judge me) so I came with this character that was for me... then realise Jinyoung would play it perfectly and all my JJP feels exploded so I just had to. As I took this more seriously than other fics I decided I would post it once I had reached at least 15 chapters in advance, which I did...

All in all, it's a love story, I guess, and I tried to portray better the setting by using my time living in Korea, trying to make it as accurate as possible.

Finally, if you do give this story a chance, thank you. If not, that's okay, I enjoy this enormously and I just hope someone else will do the same.

∞

 Traditional Korean music plays softly in the room, the vibrato of the vocalist's voice carries deep sorrow and longing for a lost love, making Jaebeom's hair stand at the high notes mixed with the voice and the lyrics. It's not music he'd listen on his daily life, definitely not a song that he'd stream and listen to for his own pleasure, although he does reckons it is a great song, just not his cup of tea. The song, just as the previous one and the one before that, are all solely for his mother in a desperate attempt to reach her and make her come back to them.

It's been one week since a fatal and gruesome accident in which Jaebeom's mother was nothing but that person in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was driving back from visiting her own parents' grave, late at night as the tomb was in Jinhae, her hometown and Jaebeom's too. It was a long drive, almost four hours, and she had insisted to go alone and drive all the way there and back in one day.

She had made it back to Seoul, around midnight, almost home; she was just waiting for the light to turn green at an intersection. Perpendicular to her road, a boy in a bike came out of nowhere when an oncoming truck seemed to be in a rush before the lights changed.

Jaebeom clenches his fists and closes his eyes as he remembers the accident, having seen it already so many times on different screens as it was all captured by the CCTV. In the footage, Jaebeom sees the truck driver desperately trying to avoid the young boy in his way, without fully succeeding. The risky move made the driver lose control and head directly to Jaebeom's mother, impacting her car, sending it flying over with his mother inside.

The truck driver survived, watching in horror how Jaebeom's mother's car lied upside-down, smoke coming out of it already as if calling for an explosion; just a bit behind, in the intersection, lied the young boy with his limbs twisted with the bike, blood already pooling under his body.

It was the driver who called for the police and ambulance, turning himself in. Jaebeom's mother ended up with multiple fractures, intern bleeding, brain damage and ultimately in a coma. Jaebeom has no idea what happened to the young boy, too worried with his own tragedy.

When the truck driver came to apologise, Jaebeom lost his temper and almost attacked the man, even if the police declared it had been an accident out of his control, Jaebeom still blamed him for his mother's state. He will always blame the driver.

One week later, Jaebeom's mother lies unconscious without any sign of getting better no matter how much he calls for her, how much he begs her to wake up and not leave him alone. He still has his father but he's so dedicated to his work that it's as if Jaebeom only had his mother.

And now he might lose her.

"Eomma," calls Jaebeom, clutching his mother's hand so tightly but there's no reaction. "I know you're healing, so don't give up. If you need more time it's okay, just make sure to wake up, okay?"

The doctors encourage him to talk to his mother a lot; whether it is for his own mental wellbeing or for his mother's, Jaebeom has no idea but he's doing it.

It's been a week of hell, with the accident, almost losing his mother in surgery and then to be told she was in coma and even if she woke up she'd never be the same and would have severe sequels to deal with. Jaebeom has spent every day at the hospital with his mother, skipping his last classes in university this semester because honestly, he has no space in his mind to care about anything else buy his mother.

Jaebeom never hated hospitals before, but now he does. The sterile colours, the anaesthetic scent everywhere, the depressive weight on the shoulders of all patients, the pitiful smiles on the nurses's faces, the exhausted and almost dead look in the eyes of the doctors, and the suffering. But Jaebeom hates that his mother is in the hospital when she should be well and happy and at home.

It's draining him, being in that room, talking constantly to someone that doesn't reply when he isn't a very talkative person to begin with. Every time he goes out of the room he only feels more depressed, seeing that everyone around is suffering more or just as much as him.

As the young man clings to his mother's hand, he wishes his father would come and take some of the weight off of his shoulders, or would even comfort him. He only showed the first day, putting on Jaebeom's all the responsibility to look after his mother. Even his friends have come more to see Jaebeom and his mother.

He's so tired.

Allowing himself to be selfish or just not able to control himself anymore, Jaebeom kisses his mother's forehead as he whispers, "I'll be back soon, I just need a break."

That's the first time he actually leaves the hospital since the accident.

Jaebeom isn't going home because if he does and doesn't find his father there, when it's way past midnight, then he's going to burn the place. And if he finds his father there, then he will just fight with him and Jaebeom doesn't have the energy or the heart to do it.

So he walks.

Walks and walks and walks. Aimlessly, alone with his thoughts, fears and worries. He walks and walks and walks. Seoul's night is a light buzz in his ears, still bright and moving but evidently a lot quieter than during the day, glowing with all the lights and high buildings desperate to touch a starless sky. If Jaebeom focuses he might spot one or two very weak starts that might not even be stars but something else.

Needing an open space, Jaebeom subconsciously is lead to the Hangan, walking one of the bridges, he doesn't know which one, he is just walking. Some cars still pass by so fast, fearless of speed limit or tickets, thinking the silence of the night will protect them. Such fools, don't they know the night does not only watch but also gives all their secrets away to the day when it comes?

Jaebeom looks away from the racing cars and their drivers before he wishes them ill. He holds such a deep resentment for all the reckless drivers that are a tragedy in four wheels waiting to happen. Instead, Jaebeom focuses on the river bellow, the calm and dark waters that seem like they could swallow all of Seoul like a hungry monster that can never be satisfied. It's vast and it seems endless, from right to left, west to east it just goes and goes, steady and quiet, whispering all the things it's seen on its way to the even vaster sea.

Exhausted as he is, Jaebeom leans on the rail and just closes his eyes, letting the wind always stronger on the bridge, pull his hair in all direction and provide the caresses to his face he misses so much from his mother. The wind is strong and cold, but it makes Jaebeom feel alive and reanimated. He's felt numb since the doctors told him his mother's current state, now he feels cold but actually aware of every part of him.

When Jaebeom opens his eyes again, he pays attention down the bridge to the almost nonexistent people by the riverside, walking back home or maybe running away, like him, trying to find solace and calm within a bigger entity that wraps you in humility and wonder. Then he just focuses on the water, pitch black and barely moving, so stable and soothing. Taking a deep breath, Jaebeom feels a lot better and marvels at how healing the river is.

Jaebeom pulls back, his hands still on the rail as he leans his body back, rocking from side to side just a bit. From the corner of his eye he spots something... someone else, so he turns his head to watch better.

Indeed there's another person on the bridge, but contrary to Jaebeom, this persons isn't holding the rail, the person is sitting on the rail, head tilted upwards, eyes closed, arms spread wide and welcoming, legs kicking softly at the other side of the rail.

His hands clench the rail tighter, his heart rate picking up as he holds his breath and his eyes widen, just watching the person, that young man so casually sitting at the edge of death. The young man can't be older than Jaebeom, slim, dressed completely in black, like his hair, a strike contrast with his extremely pale skin like someone who has never seen the sun.

The young man takes a deep breathe, his whole body tilting forward and Jaebeom gapes. His own body is moving before he realises what he's doing, bolting forward and towards the young man, running desperately. His arms stretch out, reaching out for the young man, grabbing the back of his cardigan and pulling him back with all his strength. The young man tips backwards and now that Jaebeom is actually behind, he wraps his other arm around the slim frame and ends pulling him off the rail and back to safe ground, falling with him on the hard asphalt, his body buffering the fall for the other man.

For a heartbeat, Jaebeom only breathes deeply, his arms still wrapped around the other man, eyes closed trying not to think of what would've happened had he not stopped the other man.

The silence that wraps them like a protective bubble bursts out when the other man realises what just happened and snaps, wriggling out of Jaebeom's hold and pushing hard.

"YAH!" He screams, his voice deep and threatening, making Jaebeom immediately look at him with the command that that single word carries. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"What is wrong with you?!" Jaebeom snaps, sitting upright to glare back at the young man.

Up close he can see his face, the romantic features that make him so handsome, with dark eyes that look impossibly black in the middle of the night, two pools that pull him almost irresistibly, like a dark spell. His lips are thick but are pressed in an angry line. His cheeks high and elegant, almost regal. His jaw is sharp and it shows a muscle pulsing there. His ear are prominent but without looking too big for his face, they are just right.

"You were about to jump! I saved you. Is this how you thank someone for saving your life? Some people are desperately clinging to life and here you are, throwing away yours! How dare you?"

"What?" The young boy blurts out, his voice dripping incredulity. "I was not trying to jump or kill myself! Do you think everyone who leans on the rail is suicidal?" He continues his rant, his expression showing more and more rage. "And trying to kill myself by jumping in the river? Are you stupid? Who actually does that? I know how to swim and the fall, superficial tension considered and all, wouldn't knock me out. The worst I'd get from jumping is some bruises, maybe a broken rib and a cold because like hell I'd let myself die of hypothermia. Hell no, there are faster and warmer ways of dying, thank you very much."

Jaebeom is confused, oh so confused that he isn't shocked, or scared, or startled anymore, he's just confused with the man in front of him.

"For your information, some people actually enjoy heights and are not suicidal. I was just appreciating the view, enjoying the wind. I was actually enjoying life until you ruined the moment," the spits, carrying so much resentment that Jaebeom actually feels sorry.

"I... I'm sorry. You just... looked like you wanted to jump."

"You should've thought better before ruining my perfect moment and throwing me to the ground, which by the way, hurts like hell. Ass."

Jaebeom blinks, staring incredulous at the young man in front of him, who now checks himself in search of any injury. After finding none, he stands up, dusting his clothes and looking down at Jaebeom. Surprisingly, he offers him a hand and Jaebeom takes it.

"I'm sorry," he states again. "Normally you don't stop to think if a person is going to jump or not, you just go and try to save them. A lot of people try to kill themselves here, you know?"

"Not all people," the young man points out, turning once again to the river but this time leaning on the rail. "Why would someone want to kill oneself when they are presented with this view? It's so big and majestic and just so... breathtaking."

Jaebeom turns to look at the same landscape and he has to agree. In the middle of the night or at sunset or sunrise, the view is always too awe inspiring to even think of anything else. The people that actually jump probably don't see past the rail or the water bellow, they don't see the perfect picture in front of them.

"It's truly wonderful," Jaebeom comments, getting lost watching the river run in the middle of the night, powerful, large and endless.

When he turns to look at the young man, he's gone, vanished like a dream. His eyes scan his surroundings, confused and mildly freaked out, but the young man is nowhere to be seen. Scared, Jaebeom turns to look down, but there's no sign of anyone diving in.

With a hand on the rail, Jaebeom looks around one more time, wondering where the young man left and how long did he get lost watching the river for the other man to disappear. It must've been a long while.

What an odd encounter.