(CHAPTER THIRTEEN :
REGRESSION TO THE MEAN)

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FROM DANCING ON TABLETOPS to drinking Damon Salvatore's expensive alcohol stash dry, life was good and that scared me. In Mystic Falls, there was always that anticipation of the next villain, the lingering question of who would die next . . . I thought of it like regression to the mean, there were two ways to go from reaching an average point — either things had to get really good or really bad. Perhaps it was the eternal pessimist in me, but I didn't enjoy the fact that hanging out with my friends made me forget that I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. For a flickering moment in time, I was laughing and smiling like this couldn't be all over in a blink. Over the years, I had gotten so comfortable with being immortal and having all the time in the world that I suddenly became too aware of how I spent my time. To my surprise, the party served as an unwanted distraction from the worry that gnawed in my gut, wondering how Kol's talk with the witch was going.

Elena offered me her hand, helping me step down from the coffee table after we decided to  head on up to the bathroom. I didn't object to the bizarre suggestion, a smirk tugging at my lips as I watched my drunken friends stumble upstairs. All of the girls were tipsy whereas I was a little buzzed, my experience with alcohol and as a vampire giving me an edge over the younger ones. As I watched them, I crossed my fingers and hoped the Original would find a way to save me.

"Check this out: vamp-speed video." Bonnie giggled like a school girl, turning her phone to show the three of us the video she took of our brunette friend earlier in the night.

Elena relaxed into the bathtub, laughter erupting from her throat. "I look like Superman, watch this." When she clicked pause on the video, the only thing visible was a blurry streak as a result of her inhuman speed. "This year's Christmas card." She snickered, pride seeping into her tone. From my point of view, it was nice to see her embracing the perks of a vampirism. "Being a vampire is so weird. Oh my God, I love this bathtub. Why don't we come and hang out here more often?" I half-listened to her words, she was going off on a tangent and I was occupying my boredom by raiding the cabinets. Hair products, toothpaste and — of which I'd rather have continued without knowing about — XL condoms.

"I'll tell you why — cooties." Caroline iterated, her tone serious. "Think of all the germ-ridden skanks that Damon has lured into his den of enequity." She baited, her voice rising a few octaves in a teasing manner.

I slammed the cabinet shut, throwing the XL condom packet at her. "Damon's a vampire, not an incubus." I snapped, taking a few breaths to calm down. "He's still my best friend, Caroline. Yes, he's a man whore most of the time, but only I'm allowed to to insult him like that." I defended, not liking how sincere her comment sounded. In fact, I'd already warned her once about trying to manipulate Elena's feelings towards the brothers. 

She picked up the small box she dodged, her eyes widening a fraction. "Vampires don't even need condoms, ew." Caroline recoiled in disgust, dropping the item. "And XL? Biggest lie ever." She tried to joke with a roll of her eyes, but simmered down when I shot her a burning gaze. "Okay, I'm sorry. I've been good all night, I am stopping now." Raising her hands in defeat, she scanned the room to see none of us were amused. Elena sobered up, Bonnie seemed uncomfortable and I dared her to say another word with a raised brow.

"No, don't stop on our account. Rip away. I mean, it's only Damon, right?" Elena Gilbert excused the Forbes, her sarcasm heavy as she motioned between the two of us.

Caroline shifted, realising that she might have overstepped a mark, but the liquor courage in her system made the blonde press on. "Well, say what you want about Ripper Stefan, but at least he wasn't a man slut." She sniped, once again expressing her favour towards Stefan Salvatore. I understood her reasons for not liking Damon, but that didn't justify her rude remarks or constant attempts to jeopardise his happiness. He'd changed so much since the two of us arrived in Mystic Falls, he deserved a second chance to prove he could be more than a fling.

To little avail, Bonnie attempted to stop the brewing argument. "Come on." She urged as the one person in the room that wasn't on an explicit 'side.'

"Oh, darling, I think we all have some choice words about people in this room." I found my voice held a dangerous edge, not even registering at how my vocabulary had extended to include 'darling,' which I exclusively used to mock Kol. "But, this night was meant to be fun. Let's not do this right now, or at least wait until after our fifth bottle." I advised, wanting to defuse my own budding anger. Tonight was meant to be free of drama, I wanted that to ring true.

"So, what exactly was it about him that made you jump right into bed with him as soon as you met him?" Elena hissed, ignoring how I tried to dissipate the tension by insisting we drink our body weight in wine.

"I didn't know what a sociopathic narcissist he was." She lured, causing my fists to clench when she retaliated a little too viciously.

Hesitating, I chewed down on my bottom lip until it drew blood. I didn't want to ruin the friendship, but she was being stubborn and I wouldn't sit there whilst she talked bad about the man that took me under his wing. "Show some gratitude, that sociopathic narcissist saved your neurotic airhead life." I remarked, reminding her that it was Damon's blood that turned her into a vampire.

Offended, she gasped. "I didn't ask him to save me, his guilt complex must have been working that day because let's not forget how he made me play compelled pin up doll." She fumed, which stirred sympathy inside of me. When I found out what Damon was doing, I tried to talk sense into him, but he was hellbent on revenge. "When life got tough, I couldn't simply hop into the sack with an Original vampire to escape an arranged marriage and the hard-knock life." Insults were being fired fast, one after the other. "I can't decide if it's sadder that it was an actual sack back then or that you did it in far worse places when you flipped your switch." The teenager spewed lies about what happened between Kol and I on our trip, ruthless and judgemental as ever about my relationship with the Mikaelson.

"How convenient that you missed out the part where I was abused my Father, the part where I was compelled to kill myself when I was seventeen and the part where I had to claw myself out of my own grave without knowing what happened to me." I corrected abruptly, closing in on the Founding Family Member. "I didn't have a daylight ring for years, or somebody to teach me how to handle the hunger until Damon. Next time you want to talk about my past, check your facts instead of running your mouth as a privileged, naïve vampire." I finalised, snatching her wrist and squeezing it until I heard the bone crack. She would heal.

"You broke my wrist." She whimpered, cradling the injury with her spare arm.

"And you broke my patience." I replied evenly. "This isn't about my relationship with Kol or Damon, it's about your infuriating need to always be in control of other people." With a hand on my hip, the cruel words rolled off my tongue.

Elena and Bonnie shared a look. "Lottie, you didn't need to — — " The Gilbert cut herself off with a sigh, deciding not to go down that road. "He's always been there for me when I needed him." She settled on, her attention on Caroline as she appealed to her sense of reason. Clearly, she didn't want to be responsible for a round two of the fight between Caroline and I.

"Yeah, because he's hoping you'll sleep with him." Caroline accused.

Innocently, the doppelgänger shrugged. "Well, maybe I did." She stated nonchalantly, smoothing her chocolate tresses with her hands to maintain her class.

Caroline was the picture of disbelief. "You did what?"

Bonnie's expression mirrored the pinched confusion of her pre-school friend, horror scrawled across her face. "You didn't." She murmured in refusal to believe that our friend would reach that base with Damon Salvatore.

"Yeah, I did. Look, I know you two have issues with him, but I'm happy and I wanted to spend tonight with my best friends so that I could tell them about it." Elena exhaled deeply, hurt that her two oldest friends couldn't accept her new relationship. "At least one of you understands." She added bitterly before storming away.

I shook my head at the two. "All you had to do was grin and bear it for one night." I told the pair, directing it at the blonde vampire more so than the witch. "And, trust me, she could do worse than Damon." I pointed out.

Caroline Forbes was incandescent. "By worse, do you mean Kol?" She sassed, her big blue irises blazing with a fire-eyed fury.

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On that note, I marched down the stairs, prepared to head home for the night when I noticed my friend was cleaning the mess we had made. With a groan, I decided to help her collect some of the empty bottles that had been abandoned and splayed across the room. As much as I wanted to head home before my 'regression to the mean' theory proved further true, I didn't want to leave the house in such a catastrophic state. I didn't want Caroline and the Salvatores to be cross with the girl.

"You didn't deserve that, Lena." I said softly. "Caroline shouldn't have been talking like you were another notch in his belt. I've known Damon for a century, he's never liked a girl as much as you. He was crazy for Katherine, but cares for you." I squashed any qualms she might have had, wanting to assure her that the blonde upstairs didn't know what she was talking about. Not like I did, at least.

"Thank you." Elena's grin faltered. "I, um, also think she was wrong to bring up Kol. B—Bonnie and I know you're over him, what happened a century ago shouldn't be held against you." She commiserated, slightly nervous to mention the man's name around me. However, I appreciated the gesture of understanding.

I was caught off guard, dropping one of the glass bottles to the floor. "Yeah, I'm completely over him." I asserted, emphasising the 'completely' in an effort to sound convincing. "Actually, I need to tell you something. I think Kol is abominable but — —" On second thought, I opted to confide in Elena. Rather than lying, I figured she could help me figure out how I feel and even protect Kol from the judgement of our friends. She fell for the bad guy too. Unfortunately, fate was against me.

Bonnie Bennett ran into the room, interrupting what I intended to be a heartfelt confession. "Elena, come on." She begged her best friend for a second chance.

I stared at the shattered beer bottle still on the floor. "But, I should get a brush." I finished dismissively. As I stalked off in search of a brush to clean up, I listened in on the conversation with relative interest. It felt like the group were running in circles — Elena likes Damon, Caroline projected her unclear feelings for Stefan onto Elena and Bonnie was silently judging her friends' decisions. I heard it all before, or so I thought, until:

"Ugh, you're not falling in love with him, Elena." I heard Caroline shoot the absurd idea down with a huff. "You're sired to him." She blurted, her lack of filter especially prominent at this moment in time.

Immediately, I abandoned my hunt for a brush in the storage closet and flashed back into the living room. Indeed, my knowledge on siring was almost nonexistent, merely hushed whispers that I had picked up on. "Siring is rare." I breathed out, having suspected it was close to impossible. "Did you ever think that, oh, I don't know, Elena maybe just loves him? No strings or special sire bonds attached?" I prevented myself from coming across too rough or denunciatory because of the strain between Caroline I since it was a huge claim she was making.

"I — — Look, I'm sorry that it came out like that, but it's true." Caroline apologised, walking towards Elena. "Damon's blood turned you. You couldn't feed from animals or blood bags because he told you so. Then he suggested that you try again with blood bags and suddenly . .  ." She evidenced her theory with facts, making my pupils double in size.

"No. There's no way, I . . . " She denied before stopping to consider it.

Caroline folded her arms, not exactly as satisfied as one would have expected. "Yeah. Ask Stefan about it. He can explain it better than I can." She summarised quickly.

Like in one of those old cartoons, I expected smoke to explode out of Elena's head. She was furious, rightfully so, that her friend went to her ex-boyfriend about the predicament with her current one. I would be too, so I shuffled my feet towards the door and pushed it open, not wanting to involve myself in further arguments. "You have a lot to talk about and I wish tonight didn't get out of hand, but it did, so I think it's better if I leave." I explained to the three. With every ounce of me, I trusted the group, but sometimes felt I didn't belong. I was outspoken and held grudges, I didn't fit into their cookie-cutter perfect group.

I walked out of the door, ignoring the loud shouting match that erupted behind me. Through the Winter's night, I started to stroll back to my apartment as the indignant air molecules nibbled at my exposed skin. Something was wrong. Vibrating through the air, there was this dark omen that I couldn't shake much longer. Twisting my neck, I searched for anything out the ordinary amidst the gloom. Then, I heard her.

"Caroline." I realised, recognising a high-pitched scream in the distance.

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A.N: Yikes, so she's low key on the outs with Caroline I guess. I realised how much her friends change, she's close with Elena in the first book and Caroline in parts then Bonnie more so here. I think it's important to see how sometimes those friendships are pretty shallow for her and she's lonely now Damon is so busy. Also, little tease for next chapter, we get an update on Kol's witchy lead.

What was the saddest TVD/TO death for you?