(CHAPTER TWELVE :
FATE HAS A PLAN)

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REPEATEDLY AND VIOLENTLY, I pounded my head against the little blue locker that was the root of my frustrations. In fact, I even considering ripping the piece of scrap metal off its hinges when it didn't open on my third combination attempt. Rather than causing such a scene on my first day back after an extended vacation, I opted to hit the locker with a human force so I wouldn't be expelled for deliberate property damage. Although, expulsion didn't sound too unappealing. After my trip with Kol, I was kicked out due to my attendance and by second period, I was questioning what convinced me to compel my position as a student back. Scratch that, I knew the answer — it was Caroline Forbes, she was the annoying angel on my shoulder in this scenario.

"Lottie!" Bonnie shouted, surprise invading her expression. "Wow, I didn't expect you to come back to school so soon." She commented, pulling me into a side hug as she unlinked her arm from Caroline's.

"I wasn't going to, but Caroline convinced me otherwise." I replied, shooting the blonde a pointed gaze. "She thinks it will help me fit back in with the group if I resume life pre-breakdown. But, I don't know if it will last, I wanted to stay off the grid a little longer because of, you know . . ." I made elaborate gestures and jerked my head in the direction of the oblivious blonde girl, stopping myself from saying too much. Returning to Mystic Falls High was a risk, I didn't want Caroline — or any of the others — stressing over the Curse. Bonnie only knew because I had hoped she would know something.

Perhaps a little unsurely, the Bennett nodded as she tried to make sense of what my wild movements were trying to communicate. "I haven't stopped looking, it's just hard without my magic. I wish I could do more, I hate you're suffering because of K — —" Bonnie did not take the hint to keep my situation on the hush around our friends, but I managed to interrupt her before Caroline caught on.

"Look, there's Elena, let's go talk to her." I urged, watching the brunette round the corner.

Bonnie scowled at the interruption, but didn't protest when I dragged her towards our friend with Caroline following behind. "Elena, hey." With a soft smile, the witch greeted the girl. "Is everything okay?" She enquired, concern apparent in her tone.

Confusion passed over the vampire's features thick and fast. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Elena tread lightly, pulling her eyebrows together in confusion.

"Well, Caroline told me you had to move out to stay away from Jeremy." Grimacing, Bonnie gave her an apologetic shrug before glancing at Caroline then me for support if needed. All of us were in agreement that her moving out was the safest option.

"And Damon told me." I admitted sheepishly, remembering the long phone call we had over how he felt about Elena moving into the Boarding House. "But, know it's for the best. Jeremy needs time to figure out what he is, that wasn't him the other night. I know him, no matter what you believe our time together to have been about, and those eyes . . . They didn't belong to him." I denied, a shiver running up my spine as I recalled how cold and empty his eyes were when he lunged at me. "Until he's normal again, or at least what constitutes as it by Mystic Fall's standards, you should make the most of living at Casa De Salvatore." I encouraged, hoping the time there would help her sort out her romantic feelings towards my friend.

Elena was one of the few who had yet to give a verdict on my sudden leave, her brown irises pooling with sympathy. "Jeremy feels really guilty about what happened. You should speak to him." She appealed to me, but I knew I couldn't. Not only because of my deal with Kol but because I had wanted to keep my resolve absolute and not cave into forgiving him. Second hand apologies through his sister weren't enough. "Matt is at the house staying with him right now to make sure he keeps all of his hunter stuff in control. He's okay." She divulged to the three of us, assuring us of his well-being. He was like a brother to all of us.

"But are you?" Caroline boomeranged the question back at our friend. "I mean, clearly, they don't have a flat iron at Hotel Salvatore." She attempted to make a joke about her disgruntled appearance.

I laughed with the blonde, wanting to lighten the mood. "Oh, you poor, deprived girl. I know where Stefan hides his hair products if you need them, which it looks like you do." I tugged at a few of the kinks in her usually pin straight chocolate locks as evidence. "Unless there's another reason why your hair is a mess." I teased, familiar with her breathless state and frizzy hair.

"Oh — — I was in a rush. I mean — — look, do you girls have any plans tonight? I'm in desperate need of some girl talk." Elena stammered, tripping over her words whilst she tried to fluff some life into her untidy hair.

Nobody commented on how flustered she was, Bonnie being the one eager to answer her question. "I'm in." She confirmed. "Shane taught me some small spells I've been wanting to try." Her enthusiasm was infectious, a happiness washing over her that I hadn't seen since I've returned to town.

As a result of her statement, my eyes brightened, wondering if any of those small spells would be of use to me. Kol had left to meet with his lead earlier this morning, but I wanted to have some precautions in place if it was a dead end. Despite Bonnie's insistence it had to be a Claire, I believed Bennetts were matched equally in power. Never would I ask Bonnie to perform dark magic for me, but I had faith she could at least subdue the side effects until we found a cure.

In comparison, Caroline was displeased with Bonnie's eager response. "Oh, creepy professor guy is just Shane now." Disgusted, the young vampire wrinkled her nose.

"He's not creepy." Bonnie defended weakly. On that matter, I had to agree with Caroline — my brief meeting with Professor Shane had me branding him Professor Strange. He was the embodiment of creepy.

"We're not judging." Elena said calmly.

"I am." Caroline corrected without hesitation, causing Elena to glare at her and me to motion for her to zip it. Bonnie trusted him, we should too — creepy or not.

Elena shook her head at the girl. "Don't listen to her." She insisted, wanting the night to involve the four of us. "So, girls' night? We can raid the Salvatore wine cellar." The Gilbert girl suggested with a contagious grin. Bonnie was on board but Caroline and I were still doubtful. As much as I loved a party, I sensed a lot of tension between the three and didn't want to be caught in the middle of such petty drama. Plus, I was anxiously waiting for updates from Kol.

I hummed uncertainly. "I'll come but only because I know there's a bottle of wine that Damon's been hoarding for decades that I want to steal." I cracked under the pressure of a duo gaze, the bell for next lesson ringing promptly after. "God, I'll need a drink after Physics. Next time, somebody remind to not do high school, college is much more fun." I moaned, reflecting on time I attended college in the sixties. It was the peace movement and a time of protests, which I particularly enjoyed. One time I was even shot down on campus, but compelled myself a snack out of the brutish guard.

Usually, Caroline perked up at the mention of college, but shifted uncomfortably this time instead. "Um, are you sure that Stefan and Damon are cool with us crashing at their place?" She hadn't been persuaded like I had, which had me suspicious. There was something wrong if the Caroline Forbes didn't go off on a tangent about her future plans at the mention of college and refused the chance to plan a social event.

"I can't go home because my brother is trying to kill me. So their place is mine now, too." Elena cemented, if not a little distracted by someone behind us. "I'll see you in a bit." She waved before stalking off, our heads spinning in unison to see who had caught her attention. Damon, of course.

"Hello to you too, best friend!" I called after the pair mockingly. Turning back around, I frowned at the blonde's narrowed gaze. "Be careful, that vein might pop out of your forehead if you carry on, Caroline." I repressed a chuckle at her virulent behaviour towards the couple.

"I can't help it, I'm judging." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I won't sugar coat it because he's your friend, he's bad for her and I'll be telling both of you 'I told you so' one day." Her heels clicked behind her as she stormed off to next period.

Exhaling, I released a breathy laugh and relied on Bonnie — the only one had stayed — for an explanation. "I'm as clueless as you, I don't know what's wrong with those two lately." Bonnie clarified, noting my raised eyebrow questioning their weirdness today.

"I don't either." I sighed. "I suppose the same could be for all of us, we're all hot messes lately." I remarked, walking with the witch to class.

"I don't know." Bonnie repeated truthfully. "Elena is AWOL with Damon most of the time, Caroline is pettier than normal and is always with Stefan, I lost my magic and you're going to . . ." At once, her eyes softened, quieting her voice towards the end of the sentence. "Looks like you drew the short straw, huh?" She choked out.

My lips turned down at the thought of death, it hadn't crossed my mind in a long time. "You can say it . . . I'm going to die, I think saying it makes it more real." I claimed pensively. "But, I don't intend on dying yet, Bonnie. I'll fight, I promise. Kol's looking for a Claire witch as we speak, you're practicing magic again and his blood should prevent me from falling into insanity too soon. There's hope, there's got to be because I refuse to just die." Ambition drenched my words, knowing that the supernatural world was too complicated for it to be as straight forward as a sudden death. "If I'm dying, it won't be peaceful. I want to go down fighting or it won't be worth it." I decided, not wanting my death to be an inconvenient or pointless one but rather an essential one. One that helped my friends, helped the bigger picture. "I don't want to die, but I'm ready if the times comes. As long as I know that Elena will be happy with the brother she chooses, Caroline will get her June wedding one day and you'll travel out of this one pony town to see the world, I'll die happy." I reflected on what I wanted to do before I died, nothing came to mind because I had experienced what I wanted already. Honestly, I had nothing to live for whilst those girls had everything.

"Don't talk like that, don't talk like your future's already been written." Bonnie begged, resting her head on my shoulder. At this, a smile formed on my face, thinking about how the vendetta I'd been holding against witches for over two decades disappeared around her.

"I'm not giving up." I assured her. "All I meant was, fate has a plan. If there isn't a spell to save me, don't risk anything for me. Once I'm dead, I'm dead — no resurrections or seances. It's my fault I'm cursed and I have to live out the consequences." I summarised, saying goodbye as I entered Room Two-Oh-Four for Physics.

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A.N: I hated how much of a filler this chapter was but we got to hear how Lottie feels about dying, which is important. But, I have planned out the rest of the book and I think this is actually the last filler — aka every chapter from this point forward is either dramatic or contains important information/plot points.

I need Christmas list inspiration hehe. What's on your Christmas list this year if you celebrate?