Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Twenty

—

"Don't you think that it's boring how people talk;
Making smart with their words again,
Well I'm bored"
Tennis Court | Lorde

—

Jason
[Monday, May 20th, 2018 - Lunch]

Walking into the cafeteria and not avoiding everyone's eyes is a newer feeling for me. People stare, I don't stare back, but I do keep my head up and walk around with confidence. According to Lilla, it makes me seem like less of a loner. I haven't found any proof to support or trash this theory.

After going through the lunch line, I start meandering through crowds of people to the table, wondering why I can't see Lilla.

"Jason!" I hear behind me. Piper's small frame jogs to catch up with me, and she smiles up at me. There's a solid foot of height difference between us, so she cranes her next to look up at me and I have to significantly stare down at her.

"Hey, Piper." I look around, expecting to see Lilla rush in behind Piper; see her smile at me and bring us to the lunch table. My search comes up empty.

"She's with Maxwell," Piper answers for me. I give her a questioning look. "He texted her in first, and I told her to go. She needed to talk to him anyway." She begins to walk past me and continue on to the table, so I turn and walk next to her. "So, that means it's just us today. Well, obviously the rest of the guys and this girl named Raquel who is a new friend, but you know what I meant."

No Lilla? Why would she need to talk to Maxwell?

Is it about me?

Is it about their relationship?

Why didn't she tell me?

A stream of half valid, half idiotic thoughts circle my mind after Piper tells me where Lilla is. I mentally slap myself for being such a needy little puppy, and tell myself that I need to take this lunch to establish myself in the group.

Lilla would be proud.

Stop going back to Lilla, dumbass.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I hope everything is good with Lilla and Maxwell," I offer, trying to be cool.

Literally oh my god you just brought her up have a normal conversation!!!??

"So, what class did you just have?" She looks up at me and smiles at my effort. Well, at least she finds it endearing, if nothing else.

"I was in Business and Marketing," she groans. Looking down, I raise an eyebrow; from the way that Lilla talks about her, she's more of the spunky artist-type. "My parents made me take it." I nod.

"Understandable." Piper shrugs, looking down.

"Where were you?" She suddenly asks.

"Physics," I sigh, thinking about my slowly decreasing grade. I've been studying my ass off, credits to Carl and his eagerness to help me, and we have a test tomorrow that could make or break me.

"That's tough," she agrees with me, after hearing my tone. "If you ever need help with the class, I would gladly help you out."

I wonder to myself if she's offering this because of my relationship with Lilla, or if she's being genuine.

"Thank you, but I have a freaky genius younger brother who has been insistent on helping me study." I don't add on that if Carl continues to act like a Physics Dictator while we study, I may have to take her up on her offer.

"That's sweet. But my offer stands if you ever need it." Nodding, I'm about to thank her again, but we reach the table and she launches into a conversation with another girl, Raquel. I take a seat next to Peyton. He instantly gives me a positive look and starts up a conversation, luckily for me.

"Hey man! What's up?" He practically screams in my ear.

Jesus, is he high?

"Nothing really. Just trying socialize a little more, which you're helping me do, which rocks for me. What about you?"

His piercing turquoise eyes (seriously, they look like contacts) scan the table and he gestures to everyone.

"Enjoying lunch with my friends. Nothing gets better than this... Well, besides the beach. Fucking love the beach," Peyton shakes his head, smiling. I ponder for a minute how the guys deal with this on a day to day basis. "Do you like the beach?" He asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Do I..."

"Do you like the beach," he states, more direct.

"Yeah, I love it. I haven't been in awhile, but it's great." His face lights up, and he takes a fat bite of his sub sandwich, nodding.

"I knew you would like the beach," he gives me a knowing look. "You seem cool." 

"Thanks, man," I reply, sounding awkward as hell. While Peyton goes on about how much he likes to swim, I glance over at Piper, who is paying attention to Raquel as she tells an animated story. I try to catch her eye, and finally do; to which she responds how I was hoping she would.

"Pey, quit drowning Jason in your Olympic dreams. How's your first solo lunch going, Jay?"

"I'm keeping my head above water," I chuckle. She gives me a tight-lipped smile.

"So, Jason," Raquel chimes in, surprising both Piper and I. "Are you new to this friend group too?"

Cannon and Vince lift their heads when they hear her question. She looks at them, curiously, not knowing the history I've got with them. Shaking it off, she faces me again.

"Um, sorta, I guess." I say, taking a bite of a flimsy fresh fry. "I've been sitting here for a little less than a month. Lilla coerced me into sitting here, but I'm glad she did." Giving Raquel a kind smile, I continue to eat, but she continues to talk.

"Are you close with Lilla?" Piper and Gavin look at me expectantly, as well as Raquel—probably tempted to hear how I feel about my newfound relationship with their best friend. I give her a confident couple of nods.

"We're definitely close, I'd say. Getting closer," I avoid their stares, kind of embarrassed. When I attempt to glance back up, Gavin is giving Piper a very obvious and intense look, almost as if he's attempting telepathic communication. Piper is understandably whatever he's trying to explain nonverbally, because she gives him a similar yet slightly altered look back.

Is this what friendship looks like?

"Like, dating-close?" Raquel digs, seemingly very interested in my relationship with Lil.

Feeling like I'm being interviewed by Anderson Cooper, I just respond with a shrug. She looks frustrated.

"You don't know?" She presses. My hands clench into fists, and aggravation builds inside of me.

"We're friends, for Christ's sake!" I respond, voice getting louder and aggressive. She puts her hands up in surrender, leaning back. "Sorry, I just don't understand why you're so insistent."

"I'm trying to get to know you better. And Lilla seems like a safe zone for you, so I thought I'd start with that. Didn't mean to go into uncharted territory or anything," Raquel grumbles. A part of me feels guilty, if she meant well. The other part of me suspects foul play, and thinks that she needed to be put in her place.

I stay quiet for the rest of lunch and no one bothers me, which I bask in for as long as possible. The bell to alert us that lunch time is over blares through the cafeteria, and the swarm of students stand in unison and flood out of any exit.

I start my walk to history, but get stopped by a voice yelling after me.

"Hey, Oakland!" As I turn, my eyes identify Patrick jogging towards me.

"Hey, Patrick. What's up?" He takes a moment to take some deep breaths, regaining his composure before answering.

"I just wanted to apologize for Raquel at lunch. She's my cousin, and she just gets like that sometimes—"

"Don't worry about it man, but thank you."

I don't realize that I had cut him off until he keeps talking.

"—I think she's into you, dude." I reel back in surprise.

"What? She's— Into me, into me?" He nods vigorously, brown eyes piercing mine.

"Yeah. Seriously. And I'm just telling you as a friend, I'm not here to pressure you to ask her out or tell you to stay away from her. I just want to warn you so you can tread carefully and do what you wanna in the future."

This... Feels like an out-of-body experience, almost. I don't know this guy very well, but he's being so cool about this, and like, what's the word? Supportive? Anyway, he makes me hesitate for a moment, from shock.

"Wow. Uh, thanks, White. I'll keep that in the back of my mind."

"Course, man. Just thought I would tell you I'm sorry and try to have your back a little." A genuine smile forms on my face.

"A lot, actually. Thank you again, but I think I should run to class."

"Totally. See ya later," he finishes, and then takes off to the building adjacent to the one we were standing in front of. I laugh to myself, and turn around, tugging the entry open and strolling through the now empty halls by myself.

And while the thought of Raquel (dare I say) having a crush on me is crazy, the thought occupying my mind the most is that Patrick called me his friend. This is insane progress for me.

I've got to tell Lilla.