Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Fifteen

—

"Pretty soon now you're gonna get older;
Time may change me, but I can't trace time"
Changes | David Bowie

—

Jason
[Saturday, October 10th, 2012]

"Jason! Joey! Can you two come down here for a minute? Penny and I wanna talk to you," Dad screams from downstairs. I kick aside boxes that I have had sitting on my floor for three years, still needing to be unpacked, and fling open my door. Joey did the same thing, and we give each other a brotherly 'what's going on' look, transcending the staircase of our house side by side.

"Don't tell me Penny's pregnant," I whisper to myself, thinking of the fact that there's already three young boys in this house.

"There's no way," Joey mumbles in response. I chuckle when we reach the bottom; Dad, Penny and Carl are already in the family room.

"Hey, you two," Penny smiles. I'll hand it to her: She's pretty cool for being a 37-year-old gold digger who is almost 20 years younger than my dad. Carl and I have fun, too. I suppose Dad could've done worse.

"Hi," Joey eyes them suspiciously, and him and I plop down on the couch across from them.

"We need to talk to you guys about something," our dad says. Him and Penny keep looking at each other, smiling, and grasping each other's hands. "Penny and I want to get married."

My breath halts. I can't hear Joey breathing, either. The only one who seems excited is Carl, who starts squealing and jumping.

"Boys," Penny says, looking at Joey and I. "What do you make of this?"

"Um, uh..." I drone off, looking at Joey, hoping he will say something. He just gives me a panicked stare back.

"We want to make sure you're okay with this before we do anything. We don't want to rush you guys into anything," Dad tries. Joey and I are still quiet.

Until I decide to end the silence.

"Go for it," I say weakly. Then, I check back with Joey.

Me speaking up before him will upset him more than he will ever admit to me.

"Yeah," he chokes out. "Go for it."

Penny looks at Dad for assurance, and he nods; so she gets up from her seat and bends over to wrap her arms around my brother and I. She smells like mangos, and I cant figure out if it's her shampoo or perfume.

"Thank you so much, you guys," she tells us. "I really appreciate how you've accepted and respected Carl and I, and I'm so excited for this family's future."

Joey and I smiled, nodded, and expressed our own excitement for the situation. We still had questionable feelings about Penny, but she made Dad happy. So I can suck it up.

"You're gonna be my big brother!" Carl exclaims, running up to me. "And you two!" He screams at Joey. I smile and laugh at Carl's animated reaction, but Joey seems less than amused.

"I'm gonna head back upstairs," he says to me.

"Oh..." I get out half of the word, but he's already gone. "... Kay."

"Oh, is Joey alright?" Penny questions. I look back to the staircase that Joey just sprinted up and furrow my brows.

"Yeah, uh, I think he's just overwhelmed. But I'm gonna go check on him."

I reach the top of the stairs and tiptoe to Joey's bedroom door, softly pressing my ear to it; listening for activity. What I hear is rapid sniffling and sighing.

Is he... Crying?

"JoeJoe?" I attempt, and the sniffing stops. "You good in there?"

"Yep. All good." His response is short and high-pitched. I let out a worried breath.

"You sure? I can—"

"I'm fine, Jason," he snaps at me. He's not fine, but there's nothing I can do.

"Okay," I say. "I think Penny is gonna start dinner soon. I'll come get you when it's ready."

I don't get an answer from him. Defeated, I trudge back down the stairs, and prepare my smile for celebrating.

—

[Sunday, November 21st, 2013]

"Hey boys, can y'all come down for a sec?" Loraine yells from down the stairs of our apartment. I get deja vu when Joey and I open our bedroom doors at the same time, and walk down to the kitchen.

"Don't tell me Loraine's pregnant," I joke around, nudging Joey with my elbow and smiling cheekily at him. He smiles back, a true smile, and it crashes over me that I haven't seen him genuinely smile in a awhile.

"There's no way," he replies, both of us remembering when Dad and Penny called us down for a serious conversation that resulted in them getting married last summer.

"Hey you two," Loraine still has a slight Southern drawl, and two drags out longer than it would without her accent.

"Hey Mama," Joey hums, kissing Loraine's cheek before hoisting himself up into a barstool. I jump in to the one right next to his.

"So, boys," Mom starts, getting suddenly more serious. "Mama and I want to ask you about something."

"Shoot," I encourage, nodding.

"We want to have more kids."

I hear Joey's heart shatter. He keeps a straight face, but I know how he feels about this.

"More... Kids?" I slowly respond, trying to process. "Like, adoption? Or—"

"We were thinking a sperm donor and then I would carry 'em," Loraine elaborates. I give her a few curt nods and then look at Joey.

He's looking down at his hands that are folded on the counter. They're shaking, but he tries to hide it by weaving his fingers together.

"Are we—" His voice cracks as he tries to talk. "Are we not enough for you?" Joey's bottom lip rapidly trembles. He's going to be a river of tears at any given moment. The look in Mom and Mama's eyes fades from joy to heartbreak.

"Oh my God, baby, no," Loraine says instantly. Mom follows.

"No, Joey, of course not. Why would you—"

"Then why do you need more?" His voice shakes with every word. I can barely breathe as I watch this unfold.

"It has nothing to do with you and Jason, Baby," Mom assures, looking at me to make sure I hear it too. I nod. "But you guys will go off to college soon, and we're going to miss having some kids around, and Loraine never got the chance to have babies to raise herself."

"She raised me!" Joey yells. Tears fall. He stands up. "I was five! She raised me! Why does she need to raise more?" The way he says more is inflated with disgust, like the thought of Loraine having more kids that weren't us is disgraceful. The kid doesn't wait for an answer, opting to run up to his room instead.

This is feeling more and more like last year, when Dad and Penny asked us if we would be cool with them getting married.

Mama runs up after Joey, telling Mom that she should handle it herself. Our mom rubs her hands over her face, and looks at me.

"Does this bother you, too? We won't do it if it bothers you. We'll wait. We just—"

"Why?" I cut her off. Because I want to know what Joey wanted to know. Why more?

Mom sighs.

"If your dad can move on and add to the family, then we can too. Loraine and I love you guys, we love kids. We didn't think another one or two would hurt. It's not supposed to replace you or your brother. It's to enhance the family we've built." Head back in her hands. "Is it that bad of an idea? Tell me, Honey."

"No Mom, it's not." I pause. "It was just sudden, that's all. But if you want to do it then do it."

Without vocally responding, she walks over to the barstool and snuggly wraps her arms around me. I hear her take deep breaths in and out.

"Thank you so much, JayJay."

I hug back, closing my eyes. Mom gives the best hugs.

"I love you," she says, not letting go of me.

"I love you too, Mom."