Harry fumbled with keys in his hand, his vision slightly hazy from the several flutes of champagne he had practically inhaled through the night. The crisp bubbling alcohol had been the only thing to keep him from imploding amid all over the familiar faces. He had done his best to keep in the corner and hide away, but distant relatives and even people who had no relation to him managed to invade his personal bubble. This is for Gemma, he would remind himself several times. She was truly the only reason he had stayed.

His phone had died right after he had messaged Carmen, saying he would be home by 11:30, and after that, he been unable to keep track of the time. He hoped she wouldn't be upset with him, as he opened the door finally and stepped inside the apartment. The lights were off, blackness enveloping him, so he flicked the switch on the wall to illuminate the front room. He kicked off his shoes, grumbling under his breath about how he would never drink champagne again, and shrugged off his coat.

"Babe?" he called out, his feet padding against the tile floor as he made his way down the hall. The quiet sound of sniffling echoed off the walls, like a sorrowful melody, and a frown etched onto Harry's lips. He pushed open the door to his room and stood in the frame. Though the lights were off, the streetlight seeping in from the open window was providing enough visibility for him to make out Carmen's body amid the sheets on the bed. She was curled into his pillow, her waves of hair fanned out around her, like dark petals on a flower. His shirt was hanging onto her body loosely, the fabric riding up so it bunched around her hips, her creamy thighs practically glowing in the darkness.

"Carmen?" His voice was soft as to not to disturb the peaceful silence that was enveloping her. Her body shifted against the sheets, and soon a pair of dark eyes, rimmed with red, found his.

"Hey," she spoke. Her voice sounded raw and soft, as though it pained her to speak. "Did you just get back?"

"Yeah. Mind if I turn on the lights? I need to change." A small nod of her head signaled him it was okay, so he flicked on the lights, the room flooding with a dim glow. Now, he could see her more clearly; the redness painted over her cheeks, the paleness of her lips, the pensive look in her dark eyes. His frown deepened.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked carefully, stepping towards his closet and not taking his eyes off of her even as he searched for a pair of sweats to put on.

"Yes, of course." She wiped her hand over her eyes. "I was just watching this terribly sad movie. I'm okay, though." She cracked a small smile, a smile that was more artificial than any of her other smiles. It was the kind of smile where your lips tremble as they curl up, as though it pains you to keep away your sadness buried within.

Harry hummed in response, slightly skeptical, for it wasn't usual for Carmen to cry over something as trivial as a movie. He stepped into the legs of his sweats, still keeping a careful gaze on her, and tugged them up until they fit snugly on his hips. His unbuttoned his shirt and carelessly let it fall to the floor at his feet.

"What was this movie about?" He crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arm loosely around her waist. Carmen did her best not to flinch away from his touch, which now felt cold and distant. His fingers slid under his shirt on her body, and caressed the skin over her rib cage. She looked away from him.

"It was just a cheesy romance film. Stupid, really. How was the wedding? You must have enjoyed yourself if you stayed out that late." She tried to divert the conversation, and it worked. She watched as the topic of her tears dissipated from his mind.

"It was better than I thought," he admitted, his fingertips still dancing over her soft skin. "I would have much rather spent the night with you, of course."

"Then why didn't you?" Her words had a sharp edge to them, and Harry felt their sting just as Carmen wanted him to.

"You said it would be good for me to go," he reminded her gently, his fingers probing further up her waist. He shifted his body closer to hers, his chest nearing her back, and he settled his face in the crook of her neck. His lips parted and he breathed hotly over skin, just enough to make her want more.

"I know," she bit her lip to suppress a moan. "I just missed you, is all. I was lonely here all by myself."

"You're not alone now, baby."

His mouth latched onto the skin of her neck. Fingers stroking the slight curve of her stomach, the warmth of his tongue awakening every nerve in her body; it was enough to make her sadness wash away, for the moment at least. Harry's lips caressed the supple skin and trailed up the length of her neck, where he let his tongue drag meticulously along the defined contour of her jaw. He could practically taste the subdued moans that were caught in her throat as he planted open-mouthed kisses along her trachea. He smirked against her skin, a slightly drunk smirk that urged him to further the intimate moment.

He displaced his body so that it hovered over hers, and used his elbows to hold up his weight. Their chests molded together, breasts against hard muscle, and his lips never retracted from her skin.

"Harry..." She didn't know if she was begging him to stop or to continue, but as her back arched into him, it was obvious which it was. Her eyes, which had been glossy only moments ago, now had dark lust mixing with the hues of brown.

Eagerly, Harry trailed his hand down the curve of her waist, and in between her thighs. He cupped her over the lace of her panties, his finger slowly and teasingly trailing along her center. His lips continued to nip at her silky skin, now following the edge of her collarbone, and leaving behind dark bruises in their wake. Carmen couldn't find it in herself to stop him, even as her mind nagged at her, reminding her of the lies and secrets that would forever keep them apart.

As Harry's hand massaged the sensitive skin between her hip and pubic bone, her mind flooded with a feeling of sensuality that had been unrivaled until the point. It was more than just pleasure, it was a foreign feeling that she had been trying to keep herself away from for years.

Intimacy with Harry could never be just physical anymore, she realized. It had transgressed the limits of a solely lustful act, now that both of them were aware of their swelling affection for one another. It was an act where their bodies could solidify into one; where their unspoken words could be heard through the connection of their lips; where they could heal each other's wounds and repair their shattered minds with just the feel of their breath on their skin.

It was an act of love now, and that's why Carmen couldn't do it. She couldn't do it knowing that he didn't belong to her the way she had thought he did.

"Get off of me," she protested finally, her voice louder and more firm than her body wanted it to be. Her hands, though desperate to tangle in his hair, shoved at his broad shoulders.

"What's wrong?" he panted, lips swollen and parted to let out thick pants. His body didn't budge as she pushed with all her strength, his hips still snug against her and their chests still pressed together.

"I'm tired and I want you to get off of me," Carmen hissed. Harry tilted his head in confusion.

"Babe, come on. It's not that late," he quieted her by sealing his red lips over hers, consuming her protests. Harry moaned into her mouth as he ground his hips against hers, their most sensitive areas igniting from the friction, and the heat flaring in Carmen's stomach.

She wanted him so bad.

But she couldn't.

Her arms wound around his body, fingers digging into the back of his shoulders. She let her teeth sink into his bottom lip, drawing blood, and her long nails clawed down the length of his back. Harry's eyes shot and he pulled away, crimson blood oozing out of the wound she had left behind in his lip.

"What was that for?" he hissed in pain, sitting up on his knees. He swore under his breath, the welts her nails had carved into his back stinging, and flakes of blood seeping out of them. Carmen took the moment to roll out of the bed, maneuvering herself out from beneath Harry's body.

"Where are you going?" he questioned, eyes wide and clueless. A single drop of blood trailed out of his lip and down his chin, but he didn't notice.

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," she mumbled, hands grabbing the hem of her shirt and tugging it down to cover her bare thighs. Her body was still on fire, so she forced her eyes away from the shirtless man sitting on the bed, in order to refrain from carrying out what they both wanted.

"Why?" he breathed, his thick brows knitting together. He didn't receive an answer, for Carmen was already out of the room, the door shutting loudly behind her. Harry groaned to himself, wondering what he did wrong, and flopped down against the mattress.

"Women," he huffed.

****

The next day Carmen had left before Harry had woken up, which was at about noon. His head throbbed slightly as he got out of bed and went to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee, but he did his best to ignore it. More than anything, his thoughts were preoccupied on the confusion and rejection that was still lingering in his mind from the night before. It was like a never ending cycle; she was the morning tide that pushed and pulled, but never stayed put, and Harry could barely keep his head above the water.

He didn't want to let it back track their progress, though. For once in his life, it felt like everything was starting to feel clear to him. Harry had closure with his family now, even if they still didn't care about him, it was nice to know how they were doing. Harry had Carmen now, and hopes of a future with her seemed more and more bright with each passing day. He was never going to give up on her, no matter how much she rejected him and his herself from him; his love for her would transcend the walls Carmen had built around herself.

As Harry sat down at the table and sipped away at his coffee, his phone rang in his pocket. His heart stopped for a moment at the thought of it being Carmen, but when he saw that it was actually Crook, he sighed and answered it with irritation clear in his voice.

"What?"

"That's not a very polite way to greet your best friend," Crook teased on the other end.

Harry rolled his eyes and took another gulp of the black liquid. "Whatever. What's up?"

"Caranza didn't pay for last week, or the week before," he paused as he could practically see the scowl on Harry's face forming. "He owes us more than three grand now."

"People are going to think they can start taking advantage of me now," Harry groaned. "Fuck, I've been so distracted lately, with that wedding and all." He rubbed his hand to his forehead, the throb in it swelling with each passing second.

"It's because of that girl," Crook chimed, but instantly covered it up before Styles could dwell on it. If there was anything that Crook knew about his girl, was that it was not a topic that Harry enjoyed sharing. Crook cleared his throat. "I think we should pay him a visit."

The tone of his voice was suggestive, and Harry picked up on it naturally.

"Yeah, it's about time we do," he agreed, tucking his lips into his mouth and thinking to himself for a moment. "Let's do it now," he suggested finally. Carmen probably needed some time to herself, anyway, with the way she had been acting. It would be a good time for the two of them to have some space to clear their minds, and there was no better way to clear Harry's mind then with blood.

"Now it is, then."

****

sorry if this is bad i tried :)

hey btw things in my life right now are pretty shitty so if you could please send good vibes my way, it would be greatly appreciated. i really need it

ily