I skipped most of my classes the next day. I managed to wake up for one later in the afternoon. I threw on an old sweatshirt that I usually only wore on days when I was staying at home and walked into the math class late.

Everything sucked.

I bought the biggest coffee I could get, a 24 oz. americano with vanilla syrup. For some reason, I assumed it would make me feel better. It didn't. Instead, as I walked out of class, I felt my whole body alight with jitters.

The sun was setting earlier and earlier, so I tried to go on a walk before it got too dark in the hopes that it would fix all of my problems. The sidewalks were nearly empty as I stepped out of the apartment, a tote bag fixed to my shoulder. I had a book, a few pens, and a very small notepad that I had promised myself I would use frequently when I'd bought it.

I didn't use it all that much unfortunately.

In my head, I remembered a small clearing with a wooden bench on one of the nature walkways by my apartment. It would be a great place to hide.

Without a second thought, I headed in that direction.

Slowly, but surely, the leaves were falling from the trees. They crunched beneath my boots as I walked off the paved path and onto the hardened dirt. The grass cowered away from the well-worn walk. As I passed under a large tree brunch, a few leaves fell to the ground around me. Red, and burnt orange.

It was a shame I didn't come here more often. My mom had been the one to recommend it to me. It was part of the reason I'd chosen the apartment complex that I now lived in. The Piper Myers Nature Reserve was right nearby, an entrance only five minutes from the front door. Mom hadn't visited it, but had seen enough photos. But I hadn't been in a while. Not this semester, at least.

After five more minutes of traversing the leaf-strewn forest, I came across the little bench that was so familiar to me. Nobody was there, per usual. I wandered toward it slowly, eyeing the rambling stream not too far below and looking for any sign of life. Mostly, it was just squirrels, chipmunks, and other harmless creatures. Sometimes, there were foxes. Somebody had posted on Instagram that they had even seen a bear. I didn't know if I believed it, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

I sat on the bench, feeling the uneven boards dig into the back of my thighs. The notepad had a handful of pages ripped out but nothing else. For a minute, I flipped through the blank pages, simply lost in my thoughts.

This was  so stupid.

The quick Google search I'd made to try to make myself feel better was not working. I was supposed to journal. What the heck was I supposed to journal about? How dumb I was?

Maybe my best choice at this point was just to leave all of this in my past.

I pulled my phone out and scrolled to Phoebe's number. I saw my last text to her, before I knew what had happened. What she had known. I quickly hit the settings button, and scrolled to the bottom of the page, where it asked if I wanted to delete her number.

My finger hovered over the bright red text. I could do it. I could do it so easily.

Screw this.

I hit the button.

The screen went white and then I was jerked away from her  contact information. Instead of the little photo I'd picked for her above her name, it was an unknown number. Unfamiliar. I wouldn't recognize it.

But the conversation between us was still there. My last messages stared at me through the screen, taunting me.

I considered swiping the conversation away, deleting that, too. But what if I didn't want to?

Phoebe hated me. She probably already blocked me and deleted our conversation from her end. Why was I sitting around, obsessing over whether or not to delete her off my phone?

In my indecision, I shut the phone off and slid it back in my pocket. The stream beneath me twinkled in the afternoon light.

I heard footsteps on the trail behind me. The soft crunching of leaves as someone neared. I peeked over my shoulder, shoving my notebook closed and hiding it between my legs.

I recognized her. She had brown hair streaked with lighter highlights, olive skin, and dark brown eyes. She was in my economics class. Usually, she sat right behind me. We'd spoken a few times, mainly about the homeworks.

I waved at her and offered a small smile. She waved back.

"Funny seeing you here. I didn't know anyone else used this trail," she said as she stepped over a few sticks and neared me. Her sneakers were covered in dark brown dirt and she had a small fanny pack attached at her hip.

I desperately tried to recall her name. "I live in the apartments just outside the entrance."

"Oh, yeah, I know people who live there. I don't." She put a hand on her hip. "You ready for the econ exam?"

I'd almost entirely forgotten that that was coming up. Was econ today? Had I skipped it?

"I hope so," I replied. "I haven't really studied." I wasn't even lying. I hadn't bothered  thinking about it with all of the other chaos going on in my life.

Maybe I didn't even need David and his friends to ruin my life. Maybe I would screw myself over just on my own before they ever could.

"Cool. If you want to study together later, I'm happy to. Unless you're busy."

I took a minute to think about it. I usually studied alone. I had my own methods and such, but...

"Sure. We can." I stood up from the bench and stretched. I would need to head back soon, anyway. "I'm ready in a few hours, if that's okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course. I just need to shower and eat. But sure. Do I have your number?"

We quickly exchanged numbers and she headed out along her way. Even if I wasn't journaling, at least I would have something to distract myself tonight.

And anything was better than sitting alone with my thoughts right now.

________________________

I met up with the girl from the forest, who I remembered was named Lacey, a few hours later. I'd managed to eat a quick dinner and prepare my notebooks after finally getting back to the apartment.

This was going to be so helpful. I knew it. I could both actually try to study for this exam and get to stop thinking about Phoebe? Perfect. Just what I needed. Much better than journaling out my thoughts alone in the woods.

Lacey lived in a house about a ten minute walk from my apartment. Rather than being on campus, it was on the border between the actual local shops and the last school buildings. It was often less expensive than the buildings by campus, but longer travel each day to class. Some might argue, though, that the vicinity to the nearby food stores and the main grocery store was worth it.

Her front porch had a few thriving plants. One in particular was a large pink flower that I was so tempted to touch. I restrained myself and knocked on her door.

She opened it after a couple seconds. "Hey! Come in, come in," she said, happily, holding the door open for me. We headed up a flight of stairs and through a wooden door to her apartment. It was relatively small: it had a small living room area attached to a kitchen and two bedrooms. Another girl who I did not recognize stood in the kitchen area cooking something up on the stove.

We started studying and everything was going pretty easy. I worked on flashcards while she put together some example questions from various online resources. Unfortunately, the professor for the coures never really gave us review tests or anything. We just had to find things on our own.

After about thirty minutes, she checked her phone. Then, she checked it again, squinting at something that had been sent to her. I noticed her pause and looked up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

She nodded and texted something back to the person in her phone. Then, she let out a sigh. "Okay, I have a question, is it okay if I invite someone else?"

I frowned. I didn't exactly understand why it wouldn't be okay. I knew some of the other people in the class, but not super well.

I shuffled the cards in front of me, double checking that the most recent  one I'd been writing on did not bleed onto the rest. "Yeah, I don't mind at all."

She gave me a tight smile. "Okay, great. He's also probably gonna bring pizza. I know you already ate but...I don't know. Do you have a toppings preference?"

I shook my head. "Cheese. Anything. Maybe mushrooms?" I was pretty flexible.

"Okay, great, I'll tell him." She took a second and typed something into her phone. Then, she eyed me again. "Wait, okay, I don't want to be weird. But it is my boyfriend. Are you okay with that? I don't want you to feel like a third wheel."

I shrugged. "I really don't mind at all."

She smiled at me and put her phone down. "Great! Well, you might also recognize him. He's in our class. His name is Paul."