tyler walked into his and josh's room casually, at towel wrapped dangerously low on his waist.

joshua sat on the bed working, glancing up and immediately blushing at the sight of his husband.

"i see you staring," tyler giggled.

"who? me?" josh asked, shaking his head to get himself out of his trance.

"you better be the only one staring," tyler smiled, shuffling over to the side of the bed and kissing his husband's lips.

"mmm, i missed you, baby," josh mumbled against tylers lips, his arms around his waist.

"missed you too," tyler smiled back. the twenty minutes tyler was gone showering was rough for the two boys.

then, tyler did something unexpected.

he got on top of josh.

tyler hadn't sat in josh's lap in almost two years.

and now, he was doing it.

with no clothes on.

"get up for a sec, honey. i'm gonna take my clothes off too," josh giggled.

tyler shook his head, not wanting to get off his husband or make him feel like he needed to take his clothes as well.

"c'monnnn, babyyy. it's not fair that you're the only naked one," josh pouted.

tyler blushed and giggled shyly, nodding his head and rolling off joshua. josh giggled and hopped up, quickly stripping off all his clothes and jumping back into bed.

it was the first time they were naked together outside of the bathtub, and it was a really big deal. especially for tyler. he and josh both never thought he would trust josh enough to see him naked ever again, but he did.

and it meant the world to josh.

though, he knew there wasn't going to be any sex tonight. and honestly, it didn't bother him a bit. things were going to go as slowly as tyler needed them to go.

tyler just lied down on top of josh, his chin resting on josh's chest. "hi," he said with an adorable smile.

josh smiled down at him, kissing his nose. "hi." he wasn't completely sure if tyler was comfortable touching or not yet, so he didn't.

that is, until tyler put rested his arms on josh's chest, his chin on top of his hands. so, josh wrapped his arms around his husband's waist.

"you know you're like... the best thing that's ever happened to me, right?" josh said, looking down into the much smaller boy's eyes.

tyler blushed and smiled shyly, josh's heart melting at the crooked grin he adored for so many years.

"it's true, baby. it really is true. you've made me such a better person and you're just so encouraging and kind and forgiving an-"

"i'm not the one that's made you a better person," tyler said. "that's all your doing, honey. you're the one that went and got help, not me."

josh blushed and nodded, closing his eyes ever so slightly.

"i can't believe i did that to you," he whispered quietly. he still didn't understand why tyler came back after what happened.

after all, he did almost kill him.

tyler sighed shakily, opening his mouth to say something but he instead just hugged his husband, pressing a light kiss against his cheek. "i'm not saying what you did is ok, but i think it's the reason we're happier now. because the way you were treating me before wasn't the best, necessarily, but now you treat me way better than i deserve."

"don't say that, baby. you deserve absolutely everything in the entire room. but why didn't you just tell me when you didn't like what i was doing to you, honey?"

"i tried to, b-but you said i was too needy so i stopped."

josh sighed, a single tear rolling down his cheek. how could he say that to his extremely sensitive husband? how could he have treated him so terribly?

"do you love me?" tyler asked, looking up at josh.

josh quickly nodded his head. "m-more than anything in the entire world. i'll do anything for you. anything at all."

tyler nodded, kissing josh's forehead. "if you love me as much as you say you do, then let me forgive but not forget. my voice is always going to be this scratchy, josh. i'm never going to be able to sing again. i'm always going to have the bruise on my collarbone. those things won't let either of us forget, and that's ok, but my mind is what allows forgiveness to circulate. and now that my mind is healed, i can say i forgive you. i really, really do. and i love you. that's why i let you come back. and i didn't think i was ever going to be comfortable doing... well, this. i never dreamt that you and i would be together, in the bed we share, naked, kissing! i didn't think i would be comfortable enough to even hug you without a shirt on. but for whatever reason, i am. i'm comfortable around you, josh. you've always just somehow pulled me in, and even after nearly taking my life, you still did that. i'll be honest. i don't know if i'm morally supposed to be with you or not. everyone thinks i'm crazy. everyone thinks i'm insane for getting back with the guy that almost killed me. but i don't care what they say or where they go as long as i'm with you, joshua william."

josh sniffled and hugged his husband as tightly as he could. "i love you so much, tyler. i'm never going to hurt you again. physically or mentally. i'm going to do everything i can to make you feel loved and special and adored and everything that you are, even though you don't believe it. i love getting to do things with you and for you and i-i don't know if you're even comfortable with this or not, but i-i wanna get married again, tyler. i wanna say my vows and actually hold myself to them this time. we can wait as long as you need, honey. i promise you, i'm not going anywhere. unless it's with you."

tyler smiled slightly at the thought of getting married again and he nodded. "one day, joshua. one day."

josh smiled widely and nodded, sniffling and hugging his husband tightly.

"one day we'll get married again. and maybe we'll even go farther than just cuddling without clothes on. and maybe we'll even have another kid," tyler said, kissing josh's chin.

one day.