"dude why don't you just ask him? he'd be so easy to fuck," brendon said as they walked out of english class.

"first off, i wouldn't fuck him. neither of us have any interest in having sex like that. and second, i don't think he's ready. and i don't have any issue with that," josh said.

"so you're not the 'fucking kind,' is what you're saying?"

"exactly. and neither is he."

"dude, you two are the only virgins left in school. you're ruining your reputation."

"oh, yeah, because my reputation is more important than my boyfriend," josh said, rolling his eyes.

"i'm just saying. you need to hurry up with it."

"we're probably gonna wait till we're married," josh shrugged. "or at least till we're engaged."

brendon laughed. "seriously? that's what's on your mind? getting married?"

josh stopped walking and gave a confused look. "yeah? so? we aren't planning on just having sex until we get tired of everybody like the rest of the school is."

"well maybe you aren't."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"did you ever think maybe you're the only one in the relationship that doesn't want that?"

josh quickly shook his head. "no, i know he's the same way. he told me."

brendon shrugged. "people lie, josh."

"but tyler doesn't."

though now, the doubt was in the back of josh's mind.

it had been three days since tyler and josh talked, and tyler was getting worried. every time tyler would call, it would go to voicemail. and tyler left several.

"hey, jishwa. i miss you! i hope you're doing ok. if you aren't feeling well, you've gotta tell me, ok? i'll be more than happy to come over and cuddle with you. i love you, handsome."

eight hours later

"it's me again, baby. i'm starting to get a little worried. we haven't talked for a couple days. i really miss you. i love you, joshua."

the next morning

"i hope i didn't say something, josh. if i did, i'm really really sorry. please just tell me what i did and i promise i'll fix it. i love you and i'm so so so sorry, josh."

and that was the last time he called.

or texted.

or even tried to communicate with him.

one week later

incoming call from: joshua<3

"i'm sorry, but tyler joseph is not available right now. after the beep, leave him a message." beep!

"ty, baby? i'm so sorry i didn't call back. brendon just said some stuff that made me really start thinking, but then i realized you'd never, ever lie. you're too sweet to do that. you didn't do anything, honey. i promise. and i know you start feeling guilty easily, and i should have never, ever done that. god, i'm such a bad boyfriend. please, just call me back, tyler. i love you. more than anything," josh said sadly, sniffling before hanging up the call.

two weeks later

"j-josh?"

"tyler! ty! oh my god! you're ok!"

"y-yeah, i guess," tyler said. he sounded weak and tired.

"i'm so sorry i did that, baby. it'll never happen again. i promise," josh said.

"ok."

"s-so how have you been, baby?"

tyler went quiet.

"baby? are you there?"

"yes."

"ok, good. how have you been?"

"ok."

josh sensed something was wrong. "tyler, can i come over?"

"m-my parents are k-kind of frustrated right now."

"oh, god. is it because of me? ty please let me come over and explain..."

"i-i'd rather you not," tyler said quietly.

what was wrong? tyler had never, ever said no to joshua coming over. surely it was more than just his parents.

"ok, honey. but i'm gonna bring you guys dinner, ok?"

"o-ok."

"alright, baby. i'll be over in about an hour. i love you," josh said.

"ok."

ouch.

no 'love you too.' but he deserved it, didn't he?

but he went and got the food for the family anyway, arriving at their home an hour later, the food in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other. he knocked on the door, kelly opening it.

"oh, joshua! what a pleasant surprise! please, come in!" she said warmly, josh nodding and following her inside.

"mrs. joseph i'm so, so sorry. just my friend said some things about relationships and i got really doubtful and worried. i know you're frustrated with me, and you have every right to be-"

"joshua, who said i'm frustrated with you?" she interrupted.

"t-tyler did..."

"well i'm not. at all! i didn't even know that happened. tyler has just seemed pretty down over the past few weeks, but he does that sometimes," she said.

"w-would it be ok if i go see him?" josh asked quietly.

"of course," she said. "he's in his room."

josh nodded and picked up the roses, walking upstairs and knocking on tyler's door.

"tyler?" he asked, opening the door to see his boyfriend sitting in the dark, shivering, a black hoodie in with the hood pulled over his head. "baby? a-are you ok?" he asked, approaching the boy.

tyler didn't say anything. or do anything, for that matter.

"i brought you roses," josh said, holding out the flowers.

"thank you," tyler said quietly, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie.

josh sat down at the edge of his bed, setting the roses down on tyler's bedside table. "talk to me, baby..."

"why would you do that to me, josh? you know how i get when the what... four, maybe five people i love stop talking to me."

"ty, baby, i'm so sorry. what i did is inexcusable. it will never happen again. just brendon said some stuff about us having sex and i got really nervous and scared that you were only wanting to date so you wouldn't be a virgin anymore. b-but i realized that isn't at all what you're in it for," josh said, holding his boyfriends hand and rubbing circles into the back of it with his thumb.

tyler just sniffled, pulling his knees to his chest and crying softly.

"i'm so sorry, tyler. you deserve so much better," josh sniffled, running his boyfriend's back.

then something terrifying crossed his mind.

"tyler, baby. c-can you roll your sleeves up?"

"no."

"ty..."

"no!" tyler shouted, crying harder and burying his face in his knees again.

"tyler, baby, please. you don't deserve hurting yourself or having anyone hurt you..."

tyler just cried, and josh gently picked him up, carrying him to the bathroom and setting him on the counter and grabbing some rubbing alcohol and a rag. he gently rolled up  tyler's sleeves, breaking down himself as he saw he was the reason his boyfriend had deep, red cuts down his wrists.

"how could i do this to someone so beautiful?" josh sniffled as he cleaned the cuts.

tyler flinched in pain but didn't pull away, knowing that he would only hurt josh more if he did so.

even though joshua hurt him.

once the cuts were clean, josh hugged his boyfriend tightly, beyond relieved when tyler hugged him back.

"it'll never happen again, tyler."

tyler sniffled and nodded, his head buried in his boyfriend's shoulder.

josh pulled back and gently held tyler's face, looking into his eyes. "i need you to be honest with me, tyler. do you want to keep being my boyfriend?"

tyler sniffled and nodded.

"do you trust that i'll never do anything like that again?"

tyler hesitated for a second but then nodded, josh sniffling and smiling the tiniest bit. "i-i'm gonna head home, ok? t-there's dinner downstairs."

tyler sniffled, grabbing josh's hand as he started to walk out. "w-will you kiss me?"

josh smiled and nodded, walking back and pressing a long kiss against tyler's lips, running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

"you have no idea how much i missed that, tyler joseph."

tyler laughed lightly and nodded in agreement, squeezing his boyfriend's hand before he went home.

josh<3: will you do me the honor of letting me take you out on a date tomorrow?

tyler<3: yes please

josh<3: wonderful, baby. we can just do it at my place. my parents aren't home for the whole week.

tyler<3: ok. i can't wait, josh.

josh<3: i can't either, ty. what sounds good to eat?

tyler<3: anything, really.

josh<3: you've always liked chinese. how does that sound?

tyler<3: good.

josh<3: ok, baby. i'll see you then.

tyler<3: ok. thank you for the dinner and flowers, as well.

josh<3: anything for you, baby.

josh<3: oh, and ty?

tyler<3: yes?

josh<3: would it be ok if i made it kind of like

josh<3: romantic?

tyler<3: i've always loved romantic stuff, joshua.

josh<3: i know, i know. just i wasn't sure if you wanted to take things slow.

tyler<3: let's just forget about what happened, ok?

josh<3: ok, baby. just please know it will never happen again. ever. i'll always be by your side, tyler. until the end of time. and i'll always kiss and hug and cuddle you and do everything that you love. and i love. and i love it because it's with you, baby.

tyler<3: i know, joshua. i trust you.

josh<3: thank you for that, tyler. i promise you can.

tyler<3: ok, baby. i'm pretty tired. i'm gonna go to bed. i love you.

josh<3: ok, baby. i'm pretty tired as well. i'm gonna go to bed. i love you more.

though josh had no intention of going to bed. he spent the entire night getting the house ready.

and nothing was getting in his way of making the night perfect for his perfect boyfriend.

the most perfect boyfriend in the world, if you asked him.