ANAIS

Dad craddled Niccolo in his arm, feeding him with a warm bottle of milk. Breast milk. Mom, for some reason, was totally against giving my son formula milk. She said as long as I could produce breastmilk that's all he'd be having. The breast pump had been my bestfriend ever since. I'd been storing breastmilk for him so whenever he gets hungry, I could just grab a bottle for him and heat it up. And he was always hungry. Always. During his first week, he'd cry for milk like every two hours that I got worried he'd suck me dry. Nakisama naman ang katawan ko. Now I'd been producing milk for him like a cow. I easily shed those pregnancy weight just from feeding him. He was insatiable like his Daddy. Speaking of which, I turned my head to look at the clock hanging on the dining room wall.

"Dad, we need to go." I stood up from my seat after finishing my breakfast.

"Do you have to?" Dad clutched on to my son posessively like a little boy would when you threaten to take his favorite toy from him.

"It's Saturday, Dad. Alam mo naman pag weekend oras ni Coco iyon."

"Pero may appointment siya sa pediatrician ngayon. He's going to get his vaccines and I want to be there for the little guy." Said Dad.

"Coco will drive us to the doctor. We've already talked about this, Dad." I said.

"Axel, let Coco take them to the doctor. Weekends na nga lang ang hinihingi ng mga Cordova, ipinagdadamot mo pa." Mom sighed.

"Mas gusto ni baby Xavier kay Papa Axel, isn't that right, little man?" He said in a pathetic baby voice. Mom and I just exchanged looks and we both just shook our head. They'd been nothing but a doting grandparents to Niccolo. But Dad, oh man, he was obsessed with my son. He'd carry him in his arms every chance he gets. Mom said it was because Dad had always wanted a son but he got two daughters instead.

My two month old son laughed in response when he made faces. I couldn't blame Dad though, he was a real charmer. And I wasn't just saying that because he was my son. We'd get compliments left and right everytime we take him out. He was like a baby celebrity.

"Come on. We're going to see your Daddy. Say bye bye to Papa Axel." I carefully took him from Dad.

He groaned disapprovingly as he handed Niccolo to me. "I want you home by seven, you understand? Hindi pwedeng nasa kapitbahay ang bata buong araw."

"Dad naman. The Cordovas are his family too. Kahit anong gawin mo, anak pa din namin ito ni Coco." I reminded him. Kahit naman wala kaming relasyon ni Coco bukod sa pagiging magkaibigan gusto ko pa din na maramdaman ni Niccolo na buo ang pamilya niya. Ayaw kong maging malayo ang loob niya kay Coco at sa pamilya niya. I wanted him to grow up with love from my family and Coco's. Tita Cassie, Tito Phoenix and Coco's siblings adored him. Sa tuwing dadalhin ko si Niccolo sa bahay nila Coco, nagkakagulo na sila. They would all kill to hold him. He was the Lavigne and the Cordova's little prince.

"You go ahead. Kanina pa nag-aabang si Coco sa labas ng gate." Mom said and lowered her head to kiss Niccolo on his plump cheek. Poor Coco. Hanggang ngayon, nagmamatigas pa din si Dad. Mahigpit niyang pinagbilin na huwag magpapasok ng kahit sino sa mga Cordova dito. "See you later, baby Niccolo. Be a good boy. I love you."

"Maybe we should try for a son. Get off the pill." He silently whispered in Mom's ear as he held her by the waist.

"Atticus, ano ka ba? Lola na nga ako eh..." Mom chuckled.

"Then you're one hot grandma. What a GILF you are, hon." He nuzzled his nose against the crook of Mom's neck.

"GILF?" Mom cocked a brow.

"Grandma I'd like to f-"

"Dad, I can hear you! I'm still here." I rolled my eyes.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, embarassment written all over their faces. "Right... I'm sorry, darling."

"That's gross! If you're going to have another baby mas matanda pa ang anak ko kaysa sa kapatid ko." My face scrunched in disgust.

"How is that gross? Your Mom's just forty and she doesn't look a day older than twenty-five." Dad defended and he didn't say that just to be sweet or nice. Mom had been mistaken countless of times as my older sister. Noong sinamahan niya nga ako mag-enroll sa college, a college guy even tried to hit on her and she told him off.

Dad pinched my nose affectionately. "It's you who shouldn't have had a child this early." And then he kissed the top of Niccolo's head. "But it's fine, atleast now we have Xavier. Kailangan niya na lang ng kalaro." He turned his head to Mom and wiggled his brows.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes again.

"Tigilan mo nga ako, Axel." Mom couldn't hide the smile on her face and then she handed me the diaper bag to distract herself. "Naka prepare na ang lahat ng kakailanganin ni Niccolo diyan."

"Thanks, Mom. Dad, we need to go!" Paalam ko sa kanila. They both gave me a kiss goodbye and reminded me to take good care of Niccolo.

"Are you going to leave now?" Asked Bryce who just hopping her way into the dining room.

"I'm going to take him to his Daddy." I said.

"Bye baby Xavier!" She jumped to give him a kiss him on the cheek.

"Hi..." Coco was right there when the gate opened. Agad niyang kinuha mula sa akin si Niccolo at kinawit ang diaper bag sa balikat niya. "There's my big boy. I missed you so much."

"Para naman hindi kayo nagkita kagabi." I rolled my eyes at him, smiling.

"Iba pa rin yung nalalabas ko ang anak natin." He said,not taking his eyes off our baby. "I only get to spend all day with him on the weekends."

"I'm sorry, Coco, alam mo naman si Dad." I apologized.

"Yeah, I understand." With his free hand, he cupped the back of my head and gave me a kiss on the forehead. " Ang importante, nakakasama ko pa rin kayo."

I smiled. "Hayaan mo. Pagmalaki-laki na si Niccolo at hindi niya na ako masyadong kailangan, he can have sleepovers with you on the weekends."

We brought Niccolo to the Cordova's house. They all went crazy over him like they always do, wanting to get their turns in carrying him. The little one enjoyed all the attention he was getting. He'd smile and coo at them.

"I wanna hold Niccolo! It's my turn already!!!" Ronnie said.

"Drey, Ronnie, calm down." Coco said, unsmiling. "Nalalamog niyo na yung anak ko. Akin na nga."

"Anais, o! Ayaw ipahiram samin." Sumbong ni Drey at sumimangot kay Coco. "Ang damot mo talaga!"

"Girls, that's not a toy, okay? Baby yan. Halika nga, dito ka na lang kay Mama." Tita Cassie reminded and she smoothly snatched Niccolo off Drey's arms. "Poor baby, akala nila laruan ka, ano?"

Niccolo gave Tita Cassie a charming laugh. He laughs and smiles alot, he only cries when he's hungry or when his diaper is full. Kaya nga tuwang-tuwa ang mga tao sa kanya kapag nakikita siya. Bungisngis daw kasi. He'd charmingly smile at anyone who looks at him.

Kuya Miggy, Coco's older brother, walked up to him and tickled his chubby chin which sent him into a fit of laughter. Coco's older brother always looked serious, so immaculately groomed and very well-dressed. You won't see a single wrinkle in his shirt of trouser, not a single golden hair out of place. It was amusing seeing him go crazy over his nephew.  "Hey handsome little guy, what are you laughing about huh? You sure are one happy baby. Kasing pogi mo ang uncle Miggy."

"Huwag kang mang akin ng baby, Kuya. Akin yan. Why don't you make your own?" Coco chuckled.

"That's the last thing on my list. Maybe after a few years I'd find a good wife and have children. I want everything in order before I settle down." He said and eyed me. "When are you planning to marry Anais?"

Coco suddenly coughed like he'd choked on his own spit.

"We're not going to get married. Ever." Ako na lang ang sumagot. "We're just friends..."

"Friends?" Kuya Miggy cocked a brow. Well, he'd been away for quite sometime and he didn't know what was really going on. Perfectly understandable.

"Friends who accidentally, you know, made a baby." I awkwardly explained.

"Good thing hindi nagmana ang baby sa Daddy. Coco was always the grumpy baby and Audrey was the charming one." Tito Phoenix broke the awkwardness in the air. 

"Lavigne. Niccolo Xavier Lavigne." Sinabi ko ang pangalan niya sa assistant ng pediatrician. She checked his name in the logbook in front of her. Coco stood beside me, making funny faces at Niccolo. He, Bryce and I all had the same pediatrician. Si Dad kasi ang pumili ng doctor niya and he decided to stick with our old one.

We were told that the doctor was ready to see us now.

"Sorry, Coco." I sighed.

"For what?" He asked.

"Hindi ko ipinangalan sa inyo ang last name niya." I said as we walked to the doctor's office. "You know how Dad is."

"I understand. You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault." He gave me a soft gaze. 

"Pag naiintindihan na ni Niccolo ang lahat, pwedeng siya na ang magdesisyon on what surname to use." I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Like I said, ang mahalaga lang sa akin kasama ko kayo." 

We entered the doctor's office and was greeted by a familiar face I'd been seeing since I was a little baby. She was a short and gentle looking old lady. "Hello, Anais."

"Dr. Ramona." 

"Look at you your all grown up now. Si Bryce na lang ang laging bumibisita sa akin dito. I haven't seen you since you were fourteen." She eyed me from head to toe. "Ang gandang bata. Hindi mo yata kasama ang Daddy at Mommy mo ngayon."

"I'm with my son." I turned my head to Niccolo and Coco who were standing behind me.

"You have a son?" Dr. Ramona looked at me as if I told her I'd murdered someone. "Ang bata mo pa. How old are you? Sixteen?"

"I'll be seventeen next month." 

"Still young." She shook her head dissapprovingly. "How did Axel take it?"

"Not well at first. But now he's crazy over Niccolo." I chuckled a little.

"Let me check him." Lumapit siya kina Coco at tinignan si Niccolo. She checked his heartbeat with her stethoscope. "Are you her husband?"

"Oh no, we're not married." Sabi ni Coco.

"Boyfriend?" She cocked a curious brow. 

"We're friends." My voice squeaked a little.

"I don't understand kids these days." Napailing na lang ulit siya. 

She took Niccolo from Coco and laid him down the baby weight scale. She said Niccolo was a big baby and I couldn't agree more. He'd been sucking the life out of me since day one. Then she got the vaccines ready.

"Is it going to hurt, Doc?" Coco looked worried as he held Niccolo in his arms.

"Sandali lang naman ito. Parang kagat lang ng langgam." Dr. Ramona held a syringe in her hand. 

"How many shots are you going to give him?" Coco's asked in a pained expression.

"Three." 

"That's alot!" His eyes widened. "Hindi ba pwedeng ilagay mo na lang sa isang syringe ang lahat ng shot niya."

Dr. Ramona shook her head. "Hindi pwede. It'll be quick. Iiyak lang ng konti si baby tapos tapos na."

"It's still going to hurt him." Coco frowned.

"Coco, he needs to get his shots. Pag hindi niya nakuha yung shots niya, mas kawawa si Niccolo kapag nagkasakit." I gently explained.

He took in a deep breath and kissed our baby's head. "Okay, little guy. This is going to hurt. I know I promised I'd protect you from any pain but this is for your own good. You understand?"

Niccolo cooed, his mouth forming into an O as if he was trying to talk to his Dad. 

"Okay, here it goes." He presented his chubby legs to Dr. Ramona.

She rubbed alcohol on his baby thigh at inilapit niya na ang syringe but then Coco pulled away. 

"Coco!" I scolded. 

"Wait, wait, wait... Hold on..." He said looking more nervous than Niccolo who was oblivious of what would happen to him. "You promise it would be a quick pain?"

"Why don't you tell your Daddy not to worry?" Kinausap ni Dr. Ramona si Niccolo. "You're braver than him."

He made cute little sounds.

"Coco, akin na nga si Niccolo. Para matapos na." I tried to snatch him off his arm but he wouldn't let him.

"No, I'll hold him. Do what you have to do, Doc. And make it as quick as possible." Pakiusap niya.

Niccolo let out a wailing cry after the first shot was given to him. Coco gave him a kiss, burying his face into his chubby cheek. His eyes glistened with... tears? It would take alot to make Coco cry. He was one tough shell to break. He hated it when people see him cry. Kahit nga sa akin ayaw niyang pinakikitang umiiyak siya.

"It's going to be okay. Daddy's here..." His voice cracked as he soothed our son.

"Are you crying?" I asked him.

"I'm not! I think I just got something in my eyes." He said, wiping the tears in the corners of his eyes before they could make its way down his cheek.

It broke my heart a little hearing my baby cry but I knew this was for him. I gave Niccolo a kiss on the forehead just to reassure him that Mommy was here for him while I brushed my fingers through Coco's hair, trying to soothe him.

Great now I had to deal with two crying babies!

COCO

There were four bandages on his poor chubby legs. Okay, I did cry. But only a parent without a heart wouldn't cry when your baby looks at you while he gets a needle stuck into his fragile skin. He was looking at me as if he was asking why I was allowing this to happen to him. 

But he quickly got over it two minutes after the third shot. Niccolo was now on the passenger's seat next to me, sitting on his Mommy's lap.

"You were so brave." Sabi ni Anais sa anak namin. She got a cookie from his diaper bag and handed one to him. "You deserve this."

"He might choke on that." I frowned.

"He's just going to suck on the cookie, don't worry." Sabi ni Anais. "Yan kasi yung favorite niya noong nasa tiyan ko pa lang siya. Remember the weird cookie sandwich you used to make for me?"

She lived off of that thing on the first and second trimester of her pregnancy. She never got tired of eating those.

 "My little cookie monster." I tickled his chin. He was busy sucking on his cookie.

As I was driving, he let go of the cookie and began to cry again. Instinctively, Anais knew what to do. She unbuttoned her blouse and pulled down her maternal bra. Niccolo quickly latched onto her.

"I swear, your son could suck my nipple off my breast." She huffed tiredly.

"Lucky baby." I muttered under my breath.

I knew nothing should be sexual about breastfeeding. But damn! I hadn't gotten laid for a long time that I was starting to get jealous of my own son. I wished I was sucking one of those beautiful breasts. We stopped having full blown sex on her seventh month. I just masturbated her for the rest of her pregnancy to appease her raging pregnancy hormones. It was always about her pleasure. When Niccolo came, it stopped completely. Our world revolved around this tiny bundle of joy. Whenever I sneak into her room, all I wanted to do was cuddle with her and our son.

"What did you say?" She turned her head to me.

I cleared my throat. "I was asking where you want to go."

"Well, there's  this movie I want to see." She smiled.

I took her hand and brought and brought it to my lips. "Movie it is."

I only get to take them out on the weekends so I make the most out of it. Lumalabas kami ni Anais. We do things like we used to before, we go out to eat or watch movies. Only now we have a baby with us who cries every three hours for his Mommy's milk. Instead of carrying Anais's bag, I now had to carry diaper bags. And random strangers start coming up to us, looking at my son and wanting to carry and play with him which I do not approve of.

I felt like we were still playing those pretend games when we were kids. She'd pretend to be the Mommy and I was the Daddy and of course what is a family without children, she used to pretend her stuffed animals were our kids. I used to pretend to get home from work and she'd make dinner for me and the kids.

I sighed deeply. She had no idea how I wanted that pretend game to be real.