COCO

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling the squeezing pressure in my head. A familiar ache squeezed my chest. I was kind of expecting this but it still hurt. Alam kong mali ang ginawa nina Dad at ni Tito Axel and I went along with it. I disregarded her feelings and became selfish. Mahal ko siya at gusto kong mabigyan ang anak namin ng kumpletong pamilya pero hindi sapat na rason iyon para itali siya sa isang relasyon na hindi niya naman gusto.

 I felt a pat on my shoulder and I turned my head to see Dad looking at me with a worried expression. "Are you okay, champ?" 

"Yeah... No... I don't know." I let out a tired exhale. I tried to blink away the tears that was beginning to sting my eyes.

"It's fine. I'm your Dad. Hindi mo kailangan pigilan ang emosyon mo sa harap ko." He rubbed my shoulder to try to comfort me. 

I bowed my head and pressed my fingers on my eyes as tears gushed out. "I've always loved her, Dad. We've been together since we were children, we've done everything together. Nagkaanak na nga kami eh pero bakit hindi niya ako magawang mahalin?"

"I remember being in the same situation with your Mama." Dad sighed. "I thought I did everything but I was wrong. Hindi ko kasi na sabi sa kanya na mahal ko siya."

"Iba naman ang sitwasyon niyo ni Mama, Dad. She loves you." My voice croaked.

"Sa tingin mo walang nararamdaman si Anais na kahit ano para sa'yo? She allowed you to touch her. Ang mga babae, lalo na ang mga katulad ni Anais, hindi ibibigay ang sarili niya ng ganon ganon na lang."

"May boyfriend na siya." I reminded him.

"Don't you think that's a good sign? Anais already has a boyfriend and yet she allowed you to sleep with her. Hindi ko sinasabing tama iyon pero gusto ko lang maayos niyo ang relasyon niyo para sa anak niyo. Maybe she's just confused about her own feelings."

"Dad, I did everything I could. Ayaw ko na ipilit ang sarili ko sa kanya. Nagmumukha na akong gago." I raked my fingers through my hair. 

"If you can't force her then I will." We both turned our heads to Tito Axel's direction as he walked towards us. He stopped in front of us and shook his head. "I feel sorry for you, Phoenix. It must suck having a pussy for a son."

"Axel, will you stop being an asshole? Just this one time, stop being an asshole to my son. He's already been through alot from you." Dad's eyes narrowed at him. 

"My daughter's been through alot too. From carrying a baby at sixfuckingteen and having it come out of her to raising a kid. I have the right to be an asshole." He folded his arms over his chest. "Ano? Susuko ka na lang ng ganon? Eh puro sarap lang pala ang gusto mo."

"Tito, mahal ko si Anais pero hindi ko pwedeng ipilit sa kanya ang gusto niyong mangyari. She has already decided..." I tried to keep my voice steady.

"May anak kayo. You're fucking each other and yet you can't commit to one another. Hindi na kayo mga bata para maglaro ng bahay-bahayan.  What the hell is wrong with you two?" Asik ni Tito Axel.

"I can't decide for the two of us. There's nothing more I want in this world than to marry your daughter and give our son a complete family pero siya na ang nagdesisyon."

"If you can't do anything about it then I fucking will." He said through gritted teeth.

ANAIS

Marry him.

I could still hear Cookie's voice ringing in my head. Magiging selfish ako kung gagawin ko iyon. Kung sa akin lang, gusto ko din naman bigyan ng stable at kumpletong pamilya si Cookie. But there were a lot of things to consider. I didn't want to marry knowing that he was just forced to do so. I didn't want him to sacrifice his freedom and see him miserable with me. Mas masasaktan lang kami pareho kung pumayag akong magpakasal sa kanya.

Mom and Dad remained quiet about the fiasco I made that night. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't even want to think about it. Hindi pa rin namin napapag-usapan iyon ni Coco. In fact, Coco and I hadn't seen each other since then.

A ringing sound instantly pulled me from my thoughts. I was in a meeting with the art directors as we talked about the theme for the next issue. I was spaced out for the most part but I tried to appear I was listening and knew what they were talking about. I looked around and everyone's eyes were already on me. That was when I realized that the sound came from my phone. 

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa phone ko na nakapatong sa ibabaw ng table. It was Dad. 

"Excuse me." I grabbed my phone and stood up, walking out of the meeting room. Why would he call me while I was at work? 

"Dad?" I said, picking up the call. 

"Mymy..." I heard Cookie's low voice on the other line.

"O bakit?" I felt worry flooding my whole system. "Is something wrong?"

"Can you go home early? I don't feel good..." He said.

"Sige, Mymy, will be home in no time. Magpahinga ka na. Nasaan ang Dada?" I gently asked him.

"Papa Axel, where's Dada?" Narinig kong tanong niya. He was obviously talking to Dad.

"He's not here yet." Dad answered. "Hello, Anais?"

"Dad, okay lang ba si Cookie? How is he? Tinawagan niyo ba si Coco? Nakainom na ba siya ng gamot?" I worriedly asked. If anyone else thinks I was overreacting now, Coco could easily overshadow my exaggerated Mommy worries. Sa tuwing may nararamdam si Cookie, it was as if he feels it ten times worse. Ganon naman talaga siguro kapag magulang pero OA talaga si Coco magworry pagdating sa anak namin. He was so overprotective when it comes to him. I remember when Cookie was teething and he wouldn't stop crying, Coco wanted to rush him to the ER in the middle of the night. Binulabog pa nga niya ang pediatrician ni Cookie ng madaling araw despite everyone telling him that it was normal. 

I knew my son's in good hands with my parents pero iba pa rin yung nasa tabi niya ako ngayon. I wouldn't be this paranoid if I was with him now.

"Hey, relax. Pinasundo kita kay Ben. He's already in the parking lot waiting for you." Dad told me. Mang Ben was our family driver.

"Dad, ano bang nangyayari? Nasaan ba si Cookie?" Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba. It must be really urgent kung kailangan pa niya akong ipasundo. "I brought my car today. Just tell me where you are. Ako na ang pupunta diyan."

"Hayaan mo nang si Ben ang sumundo sa'yo. Baka mataranta ka at kung ano pang mangyari sa'yo." He quietly said.

"Dad, at least tell me what happened to my son." I asked, feeling the lump going up my throat as anxiety started to set in. 

"You'll know when you get here. Hurry now, kanina pa naghihintay si Ben." Sabi niya bago ibinaba ang phone. Hindi ko na inisip ang mga gamit na naiwan sa meeting room at ang bag ko sa desk ko. I didn't even bother to tell my colleagues and the directors that I needed to leave. Screw them! All that matters to me now was my son.

I cussed to myself, running to the elevator. I hammered the down button as if it would make the carriage arrive faster. The door made a ting sound when it got to my floor and I went straight it when it opened. Pinindot ko ang button papunta sa parking lot.  

"Anais." Manong Ben waved at me while I frantically walked out of the elevator.

"Mang Ben, kumusta si Cookie? Ano bang nangyayari?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

"Hindi ko din alam. Basta ang utos ni sir sunduin ka." He scratched the back of his head.

"Halika na, Mang Ben." I told him and hurried towards Dad's car. Binuksan ko ang backseat ng kotse at pumasok. Sumunod naman na pumasok sa kotse si Mang Ben. He started the car and drove off.

"Papatayin talaga ako sa nerbiyos ni Dad!" I said, my fingers slammed on the screen of my phone. Sinusubukan kong tawagan si Dad pero busy ang line niya. I tried calling Mom but she wouldn't pick up. Tumawag din ako sa bahay at sinagot naman ng isa sa mga kasambahay namin. Kinamusta ko si Cookie at sabi nila umalis daw ang mag-Lolo kaninang hapon. 

My mind started thinking of scenarios. Maybe Cookie was in the hospital. Siguro naaksidente sila habang nasa road. I hoped and prayed that the two of them were safe. 

"Mang Ben, saan ba talaga tayo pupunta? Malapit na ba tayo?" I asked, looking out the window. He'd been driving for almost an hour and my panic only elevated with each passing minute. By the time we get to wherever we were going, baka mamatay na ako sa atake sa puso.

"Malapit na tayo." He said, gazing at me through the rearview mirror.

We were already driving next to the bay. The sun was starting to set, half of it was already sinking on the horizon of the water. The reds and oranges the sunset created helped me forget my worries for a minute. 

Mang Ben drove inside an exclusive yacht club where Dad was a member. Mang Ben gave his pass to the security and we were let in.

"What are we doing here?" Tanong ko sa kanya. 

Hindi sumagot si Mang Ben. 

Maya-maya ay tumunog ang phone ko. It was Dad again.

"Dad, ano ba 'to? Nandito ako sa yacht club. Nasaan ba kayo?" I frustratedly asked. 

"Get out of the car. Sumama ka sa staff na inutusan kong sumundo sa'yo. We're in the yacht." Sabi ni Dad.

"Have you gone mad, Dad? I was having a meeting with the directors. Akala ko kung ano nang nangyari sa anak ko!" I shrieked.

"Cookie's fine. Just get on the yacht. I'll explain everything when you get here."

"Mymy!" I heard him call me on the other line's background. "There's a lot of fishies in the water." 

Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang mapabuntong-hininga at padabog na tinulak pabukas ang kotse. A guy with a full on white outfit greeted me. He told me he was the porter that Dad sent to get me. He guided me to the dock where expensive yacht boats lined up. Huminto kami sa harap ng pinakabagong yate na nandoon. It had a sleek and modern design, the yacht was white with a touch of light pink on the outline edge. It was Dad's gift for Mom when she got pregnant with Toffie. 

The porter guided me into the yacht. Wala sila sa deck kaya I went down the cabin to see if they were there. It was so quiet in here. I went around the bar and grab myself a bottle of water inside the fridge to calm my nerves. 

"Anais..." I stiffened when I saw Coco walking down the cabin stairs. 

"What are you doing here?" Halos magkasabay na tanong namin.

"Pinapunta ako ni Dad dito. Nandito daw sila ni Cookie." He answered.

"Si Dad din pinapunta ako dito." I shrugged and took out my phone. 

I was almost thrown out of balance when the ground moved while I was busy looking for Dad's number in my contact list. Coco quickly ran to me and grab me by the waist. We looked into each other's eyes and I could feel his body heat against mine. Napalunok ako. Great! Overused cliche scene in every chickflick movie come to life. 

"I'm pretty sure the boat's moving." He said.

"May kinalaman ka ba dito?" My eyes narrowed at him.

"I swear to God, I have nothing to do with this." Sabi niya. I knew when he was lying and when he wasn't. Marahan ko siyang tinulak at umakyat sa deck. He followed behind me.

Sure enough, the yacht was already a few feet away from the dock. Dad was standing on the dock with Tito Phoenix and Cookie. Tito Phoenix and him both had a glass of wine in their hands and Cookie started waving at us when he saw us.

"Bye Mymy! Bye Dada!" Masayang sabi niya. He jumped up and down while waving at us with both hands.

"Cookie, stop jumping! Baka mahulog ka sa tubig!" Sigaw ni Coco mula sa yacht. 

"Enjoy yourselves!" Tito Phoenix raised his glass to us. 

"Dad!" I screeched angrily.

"I'm doing this for Cookie's good." He said. 

The boat got farther and farther away from the dock. Paliit na din sila  ng paliit habang nakatingin kami sa kanila. After a few moments, they disappeared from sight and we were already sailing in the ocean. There was nothing but water, bathed in the dying light of the day, surrounding us. 

I shivered as the ocean's cold breeze hit me. Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagpatong ni Coco ng coat niya sa katawan ko. I turned my head to look at him. He looked like he just got out of work too because he was still in his business suit.

"What did they tell you?" I curiously asked.

"Sabi ni Dad pumunta daw ako dito kasi kasama nila si Cookie." Sagot niya. 

"Those two! Ginagamit pa ang anak natin!" Inis na sabi ko.

"Is it that bad to be around me?" He chuckled, trying to made it sound casual but I could tell how much it bothered him. 

"Hindi naman sa ganon." I bit my bottom lip.

He let out a deep sigh and smiled. "You know what, I'm just going to grab us something to drink. Wala na rin naman tayong magagawa kaya i-enjoy na lang natin ito. Ano'ng gusto mong inumin?"

"A glass of wine will do." 

"Coming right up!" He said before going down the deck. 

That gave me some time to breathe and think. I was stuck in the middle of the ocean with Coco. It was suddenly awkward being around him now after the scene I created around my family and his. Ano kayang nararamdaman niya? Masaya ba siya na hindi ako pumayag na maikasal sa kanya? Or had I bruised his ego?

Umakyat siya dala ang dalawang baso ng wine. He handed one to me and I said a silent thank you. 

"Cheers." He raised his glass.

"What's to cheer about. We're in the middle of the freaking ocean." I rolled my eyes at him and gulped down my wine.

He took a sip from his and looked at me, swirling his glass in his hand. "Are you grumpy cause you'd rather be with Froilan than me?"

"I'd rather be with my son than any of you!" 

"Ano bang problema mo? Bakit palagi mo na lang akong sinusungitan?"

"Bakit hindi mo tanong sa babae mo?" 

"Babae ko? Huwag mo nga akong baliktarin." His frowned, giving me a look of contempt. "As far as I know, sa atin dalawa ikaw ang may lalaki."

"Ang kapal ng mukha mong magdeny. You think I wouldn't know?" I put my free hand on my hip.

"Wouldn't know what?"

"About Saskia Joyce Flores!" I looked him straight in the eye as I said the woman's full name.

His eyes widened. "Paano mo nalaman ang tungkol kay Saskia?"

"It doesn't matter. Ang kapal ng mukha mo! May anak ka na nga sa akin, nakabuntis ka pa ng ibang babae." I tried hard not to let my lips curl downward.

"Hindi ko babae si Saskia at lalong hindi ko siya binuntis." He raked his fingers through his hair.

"Sinungaling ka!" I threw a glare at him. "Huwag mo akong gagawin tanga!"

"She's Kuya Miggy's woman." 

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Sa tingin mo maniniwala ako?"

"Wala ka bang tiwala sa akin, Anais?" Seryosong tanong niya.

"You've been hiding things from here! How am I supposed to trust you now?" 

"Look, I don't know how to prove it to you, where in the middle of God knows where." He massaged his temples. "Pero sinasabi ko sa'yo, hindi ko babae si Saskia."

"I don't even care if she's your woman! Ang kinagagalit ko, bakit mo tinago sa akin?" I pushed him on the chest. 

"Because she's not my woman!" He exclaimed.

"Ma'am, sir... malapit na po tayo sa isla. Dito na po namin kayo ibababa." Biglang may lumitaw na cabin crew sa harap namin.

I looked out and saw that we were indeed nearing an island. The glass house by the beach lit up the whole place. I knew this island. We'd been here before. Inimbitahan kami nina Tito Phoenix na pumunta dito noong eighteenth birthday ni Coco at Audrey. The Cordovas own this island. 

"You mean, iiwan niyo kami dito?" I asked the guy.

"Iyon po ang bilin ni sir Axel." He politely answered.

I shook my head. "Hindi ako magpapaiwan dito kasama ang..." I gave Coco a sideway scowl. "Ang sinungaling na yan!"

"Hindi nga sabi ako nagsisinungaling. Why is it so hard for you to believe me?" I could sense the desperate frustration in his voice.

The boat finally came into a halt. Napatili ako ng bigla akong buhatin ni Coco. He slung me to his shoulder like I was a sack of potato.

"Put me down!" Galit na sabi ko.

"No, we're going to stay here." He refused as he walked down the yacht. 

"No! Mag-isa ka!" I spat.

He hopped out of it and into the water that reach up to his knee. Sumulong siya doon papunta sa beach habang nagtitili ako. 

"Bitiwan mo ako! Bitiwan mo sabi ako!" Galit na pinaghahampas ko siya sa likod.

He finally let go of me when the yacht started moving away. 

"Balikan niyo ako!" I waved at it. "Please, please come back!" 

The yacht didn't come back from me. Maluha-luhang pumihit ang ulo ko sa kanya at tinitigan siya ng masama. "Asshole!" 

"Mag-usap tayo."

"I don't want to talk to you!" I marched towards the glass house.

"Please, stop being immature, Anais. Can't we talk like two adults?" Parang pagod na bumuntong-hininga siya.