ANAIS

I felt like the most beautiful woman today. I wore a beige wedding dress Mom wore on her wedding day. I just had it altered a little but it was still all in all in good condition. Mom and I cried a little when we were inside Lolo's house. Mentos, the white horse Lolo Jaime gave me was the one I rode to the venue. Mitsy, Mom's horse since she was a teenager was still alive but Mom wouldn't let anyone ride her because she was already old. She just takes her out for walks and plays with her but she doesn't allow anyone to ride her anymore. We used to ride her together when I was little. Horses surprisingly have very long lives, they can live up to thirty years. Mas matanda pa sa akin si Mitsy at alagang-alaga pa din siya ni Mommy. Growing up, nasanay akong parang pamilya ang trato sa favorite horse ni Mommy. She and Dad talks fondly of her like she was a sister who lives far away from us. 

Mentos stopped and I was guided down by a man dressed like a coachman. Pagkababa ko pa lang si Dad na agad ang sumalubong sa akin. He kept a straight face but I knew he was trying hard not to cry. His eyes were already red from holding his tears back in. 

"Daddy..." I threw my arms on him and I began to sob.

"My baby girl, my darling, you are so beautiful today." He whispered kissing the side of my head, his voice quivering with tears.

"Thanks, Daddy..." I swallowed back a sob, burrying my face into his chest. 

"Daddy will always be here for you. I want you to always, always, always remember that." He said as he hugged me. "Thank you, sweety, for molding me in to the person I am today. My morals, character, and anything decent about me, I owe to you and your siblings."

"Daddy..." I began to sob. 

"I love you, sweety." He said and pulled away. He wiped away the tears on my cheek with his thumbs. "We need to go. Your groom is waiting for you." 

Yumakap din sa akin si Mom. She hugged so tight I could hardly breathe. "My baby girl is going to be a wife now."

"Mom, we already cried in my room. Please, don't make me cry again." Bulong ko sa kanya. 

"Okay, okay..." She sniffled. "This feels like your first day of school when your Dad and I had to leave you on your own for the very first time." 

"It does feel like that." Dad agreed.

"Enough with the chit chat kanina pa naghihintay si Coco." Natatawang sabi ni Mom as tears filmed her eyes.

"One last hug as my unmarried baby girl." Dad opened held out his arms to me. I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his torso. Dad pulled Mom into his arm with me and we all hugged each other. 

Inayos na nang coordinator ang position namin. The music started to play and the bridesmaids and groomsmen started to walk first. Then Arthur and Toffie started walking down the aisle. Each one of them held a pillow in their hands that had our rings. Our handsome Cookie was right beside his Dada, wearing the exact same tuxedo he was wearing. They looked so beautiful together. 

Mom and Dad walked me down the aisle. Mom kept stopping to wipe away her tears and Dad would remind her that they still had Bryce and Christoff. I knew Dad was trying hard not to let his emotions show. He was a very proud man. He didn't want any of the guest to see the soft side of him. Sa amin lang pinakikita ni Dad yun. I couldn't help but stop in the middle of the aisle to give Lolo Jaime, Grandpa Auggie, and Grandma Lottie a hug.

My head turned to Coco as he stood at the end of the aisle, patiently waiting for me. The look on his face almost made my heart stop. It was a look of pure awe, love, and amazement. He bent his head down and took out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his tears away. I was overwhelmed with the genuine love and pride he had in his eyes when he was looking at me. It was as if his eyes were telling me that I was his forever. I still couldn't believe that this was real. It was a long journey but it was worth it. 

A few more steps and I was in front of him. I hugged Dad and Mom one last time before my head turned to look at Coco. 

"Ikaw na ang bahala sa anak ko at kay Cookie. I will raise hell if you make my baby girl cry." Dad warned as he handed me to him.

"I will never make her cry unless it's happy tears." Coco promised.

I kissed our little Cookie who stood next to Coco, looking all grown up in his tuxedo. Then I hooked my arms around Coco's arm and we walked to the center.

"I'm so happy for you." Audrey mouthed while she stood at the side. She flew back to the Philippines before our wedding to be our maid of honor. Kuya Miggy was our man of honor. 

"Thank you." I mouthed back.

The priest began to talk and everybody listened intently. Coco was holding my hand the whole time, occasionally squeezing it in his. I felt like my entire existance had been leading to this moment. Dear Lord, I was so in love with him I could feel it in every bones in my body. I belong to him and he belongs to me. Who knew our pretending weddings back when we were kids would be a reality? 

"I love you." He softly whispered in my ear.

I looked at him and was met with the gentlest of the stares. "I love you too."

We looked at each other and found it hard to break eye contact. It seemed we had forgotten how to blink for a few moments.

"I, Nicholas Cordova, choose you, Anais Rebecca Lavigne, not only as my bestfriend but also my wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life, and my favorite brat. I promise you my deepest love, my tenderest care, my fullest devotion. I promise to love you, to commit to you, and to support you. I promise to be faithful to you. To love you when times are good and bad, and when life gets easy or hard. There's nothing more I want in this world but to fall in love with you each day and grow old with you. I love you beyond love." He slipped a ring on my finger as he struggled to keep the tears at bay. He then gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. 

"Growing up, I've always dreamt of having a fairytale life. I've always wanted to be one of those Disney princess and I wanted my own prince who would give me true love and happiness. I just never knew it would be you. You were my bestfriend since childhood. You were the one who kisses my boo boos away, you where the one who kills roaches for me, the one who eats the olives whenever we order supreme pizza. I was never prepared to fall in love with my bestfriend. I was looking for happiness but with you I found bliss. I was prepared for the heat but not the warmth. I was anticipating the fall but not the growth. We've grown together through good and bad. I love you, Nicholas Cordova, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." With shaky hands, I slipped on the ring on his finger. 

He cupped my chin and tilted my head to give me a gentle kiss on the lips. His kiss tasted of tears, of love and all the things he couldn't say out loud. His lips were gentle and soft against mine. 

Cookie slid his toy car up the top of my protruding six-month-old belly as I laid in bed. I watched him play with his little sister. We found out just a month ago that we were having a baby girl. Cookie was mildly disappointed because he wanted a brother but his disappointment was short-lived. Ngayon excited na excited na siyang lumabas ang baby namin at maging Kuya.

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo sa tummy ni Mymy?" Tanong ni Coco nang dumungaw siya sa pinto ng kwarto namin. 

"I'm playing with little sister." Sabi niya.

"Playing what?" Pumasok si Coco sa kwarto at umupo sa gilid ng kama. 

"Hero." Cookie answered. "The car went up the hill and one of its wheels got stuck in a hole,well  in Mymy's belly button."

"And who are you gonna call?" Coco grinned.

"Ghostbusters!" Cookie giggled. His Dada introduced him to Ghostbusters just this weekend and our Cookie loved it. 

"Nah, you call Superman for that." Tumawa si Coco bago kinuha ang Superman action figure ni Cookie. Superman pushed the car and it came rolling down from the top of my belly. "Where are we heading?"

"To Mymy's heart." Cookie answered with the sweetest smile. 

"Aw..." I looked at him softly. "Ang sweet naman ng baby namin."

"Swoosh!" Coco pushed the toy car from my bellow to my chest. "We're already here. What are we going to do?"

"It's like the gasoline station. When we go to the gasoline station we fill the car with gas but my car needs Mymy's booby milk." Sabi ni Cookie. 

"Booby milk?" My brow arched. "Kanino mo naman natutunan yan?"

"Kay Dada! He said when the baby comes out it will drink booby milk from your boobies just like me when I was a baby. Babies need it for energy and my car needs energy right now. Can my car drink from your nickles?" 

"Coco, ikaw talaga. Kung anu-anong tinuturo mo sa anak mo." Kinurot ko siya sa tagiliran niya. 

"He asked what babies eat. I'm just educating my child." He defensively said. "What was I supposed to stay? That they eat pancakes for breakfast and steak for dinner?"

"Kayo talagang mag-ama kayo." I couldn't do anything but shake my head.

"Speaking of breakfast, nagluto ako ng omelette. Hindi ba gusto mo yun?" Malambing na tanong niya sa akin.

"Maraming tomato at cheese?" I asked.

"Marami po." He answered and bent his head down to give me a kiss on the lips. Since I started getting morning sickness siya na ang nag-aasikaso sa breakfast namin at kay Cookie sa umaga tuwing papasok silang mag-ama. 

We got married five months ago and only found out I was already a month pregnant after our honeymoon. May nabuo nga talaga sa island ng mga Cordova. Coco bought a nice six bedroom house and it was only a few blocks away from Mom and Dad's and the Cordova's. Araw-araw pa rin nagpupunta si Cookie sa kanila. 

Coco had been nothing short of a perfect father and husband. Simula nang lumaki ang tiyan ko he hardly lets me lift a finger. Kapag may gusto ko, no matter what time it is, he'd go looking for whatever I wanted. And I get nightly foot massages from him. I'd been having problems with leg cramps even back then when I was pregnant with Cookie. Siya na din ang nagpapaligo at nag-aayos kay Cookie kapag papasok na ang anak namin sa school. He also comes home from work just to take me to my prenatal yoga class. 

"Gutom na ba ang baby namin?" He put his face near my tummy and stroked it. "Hi, baby. Si Dada 'to. Kumusta ka diyan? Are you awake?"

"Hello, baby. I'm your Kuya Cookie!" Sabi naman ng panganay namin. Inilapit niya ang bibig niya sa tiyan ko so it was vibrating against my tummy. "Baaaabyyy! Wake up, sleepyhead!"

"Oh!" Nagulat ako ng maramdaman ko ang pagtadyak niya sa tiyan ko. Kitang-kita ang hugis ang korte ng paa niya sa tiyan ko. "Yan! Ginising mo ang baby sister mo."

"Mukhang nagalit. She won't stop kicking." Tuwang-tuwang sabi ni Coco. His hand over my tummy, feeling the baby's agile movement. "Naistorbo ni Kuya Cookie ang tulog mo, ano?"

"Sorry, baby." Cookie playfully chuckled before placing a kiss on my tummy. "You can go back to sleep now if you want. But if you don't, that's okay too, I could sing you a song."

"Sige nga, sing a song for your baby sister." Coco said.

"Nang mainlove ako sa'yo kala ko'y pag-ibig mo ay tunay-"

"No, not that kind of song, Cookie." Nahilamos ni Coco ang mga palad niya sa mukha niya.

"What's wrong with that song? I like it. Remember I sang it with Ninong Oca and Ninong Atoy while we were in the car on our way to Ninay's birthday party?" He asked. Ninay was his Ninong Oca's daughter.  

"You can't sing that again. Hindi pangbata yung kantang yun, okay?" Coco explained. 

"Okay..." He silently said. 

"Yung kanta na lang sa Toy Story. Hindi ba kabiasado mo na yun?" I suggested, running my fingers through his dirty blonde hair. 

"Yeah!" His face lit up. Idinikit niya ulit ang mukha niya sa tiyan ko at kumanta. "You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. When the road looks rough ahead and your miles and miles away from your nice, warm bed..."

I watched and listened as the two bugs the little girl in my tummy. I could almost feel her wanting to come out of me to join her Dad and her Kuya Cookie. Hinayaan ko silang kausapin at makipaglaro kay baby bago ako bumangon sa kama. Kumain kami ng breakfast at pagkatapos ay sabay naligo ang mag-ama sa tub. Hinanda ko na nag susuotin ng mag-ama ko habang nasa loob sila ng bathroom. Today was Toffie's birthday. May party mamaya sa bahay ni Dad kaya kailangan namin pumunta. 

Inilapag ko na ang susuotin ng mag-ama ko sa kama at pinuntahan sila sa banyo. Coco was playing action figures with our son in the tub. 

"Kanina pa kayo diyan. Your hands and feet are going to get pruny." I walked towards them with arms folded over my chest. 

"Babe, huwag kang tatapak diyan. The floor's wet, baka madulas ka at may mangyari pa kay baby." He warned.

I stopped and looked at them. 

"Umahon na kayo diyan. Get dressed so I can take a shower and we can finally go to Mom and Dad's." Sabi ko sa kanila.

"Let's get out of the tub so Mymy and your sister can take a shower." Tumayo si Coco sa tub.

"Dada, why's your penie big and mine's not? And why does it look different from mine?" He quizically asked, staring at his father's manhood. 

I pressed my lips together, swallowing my laughter. Cookie was a pretty observant kid.

Coco covered his private with his hands. "It's rude to look at other's penie."

"Why?" His brows furrowed.

"Because, it just is." Coco shrugged. "Halika na. We need to get out of the tub."

Tumayo na ang mag-ama mula sa tub. Coco mopped the floor and made sure it was completely dry before getting the shower ready for me. I took a shower, dried myself, and wore a pink floral dress. Nang makabihis na kaming lahat ay naglakad kami papunta sa bahay nina Mommy at Daddy. It was just a few blocks away and I needed some exercise so we decided to walk. Sabi kasi ni Mommy maganda talagang exercise ang paglalakad sa mga buntis para hindi daw ako mahirapan sa panganganak. Kahit noong buntis ako kay Cookie, Mom would always force me up in the morning so we could walk together.

"Anais, honey." Dad greeted me with a hug and then his attention quickly turned to Cookie. He playfully messed with his hair. "How's my little monster? Gutom ka na ba? May cupcake sa backyard."

"I want cupcakes!" Excited na sabi niya.

"Ano bang sabi ko? Kumain muna ng food bago ang dessert."

"Cupcake is food." Dahilan niya.

"Pilosopo ka talaga." I rolled my eyes. "You can't have any sweets hangga't hindi ka nakakain ng lunch." 

"Why don't you ask Mama Val to give you lunch. May fried chicken doon saka lasagna. Hindi ba favorite mo yun?" Dad gently said.

He nodded his head.

"Ibigay mo na din yung  gift mo para kay Toffie. Hindi ba ikaw ang pumili niyan para sa kanya?" Coco said, handing the wrapped box to our son. We went to the mall yesterday to buy a gift for Toffie and Cookie picked a train set for him. 

"Okay!" He said, taking the box from his Dada and skipping in.

"How's my granddaughter?" Bumaba ang kamay niya para hawakan ang tiyan ko.

"She's getting more active now. Ang likot na." Coco proudly answered. 

"I can't wait to meet her." Dad said, smiling.  "Parang kailan lang baby pa ang anak ko ngayon nakadalawang apo na ako. Time flies so fast."

"Ayaw mo nun? Madadagdagan na naman ang family natin." I told him. 

"Susunod naman si Bryce na ang ikakasal." He let out a worried exhale.

"Matagal pa yun, Dad. She's only a teenager." I assured him.

"I just hope when that little brat gets married she'll be able to wear a white wedding dress. Pag nangyari ulit kay Bryce ang nangyari sa'yo, dalawa lang ang kababagsakan ko. It's either I get locked up in jail or in a mental hospital." He chuckled a little. 

Dad invited in and we went to the backyard where the party was held. Coco protectively had his arm wrapped around the back of my waist as we walked to the party. We saw Cookie sitting on one table with Mama Cass, Mama's friend Tito Rome, Mommy, Tita Marian, Tita Tanya, and Tita Andi. He was probably charming those women again.

"Well sometimes Mymy and Dada lets me me eat a whole bowl of ice cream and watch whatever movie I want so I don't disturb them when they practice wrestling in their room." Kwento ni Cookie habang nginunguya ang cupcake. 

My eyes widened when I heard what he said. Agad bumilis ang lakad ko papunta kay Cookie at tinakpan ang bibig nito. "Stop it, Cookie. You don't say things like that to other people."

Tinanggal niya ang kamay ko sa bibig niya. "I'm just telling them! Wala naman bad doon! I didn't say any bad words."

The women laughed.

I let out a stressed sigh. "Why don't you just play with Toffie and Arthur?"

"Okay!" He said, hopping out of his seat. 

"Kumusta na ang baby namin?" Tita Cassie stroked my tummy. 

"Kanina gumalaw siya noong kinakausap siya ng Dada niya at ng Kuya." Kwento ko. 

"I found this cute red dress while your Dad and I were in France last weekend. Binili ko na sa kanya. Binilhan ko na din siya ng bottles, disposable diapers, at pacifiers. Yung Dad mo, aliw na aliw din sa pagpili ng mga gamit para sa apo niya noong nasa baby botique kami." Sabi ni Mommy. 

"Nick and I are looking for a stroller for her." Sabi naman ni Mama Cassie. 

"May girl na naman sa pamilya. May magiging maynika na naman ako." Tito Rome squealed. 

"Kailan ba ang baby shower?" Tita Tanya asked.

"Next month pa, Tita." I answered. "Kasama niyo po si Therese?"

"Oh, she's covering a story. Susunod na lang daw siya." Tita Tanya answered.

I sat down and chatted with Mom and her friends for a little while. They gave me some helpful pregnancy tips. Cookie was playing tag with the kids. Coco was drinking beer with Yvo, Tate, and the others. Maya-maya ay lumapit siya sa akin at tinanong kung okay lang ako. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said as I stood up from my seat. Ikinawit niya ang bisig niya sa likod ko. 

"Gutom ka na ba?" He asked. 

"I'm fine. I just need to walk a little. Nangangawit na ang legs ko." Sabi ko habang naglalakad kami. 

"Want a massage?" He asked.

"No, I'm okay. Kailangan ko lang i-stretch ito. Ang tagal ko kasing nakaupo." Sabi ko.

His eyes lowered to my belly and it quickly softened. Hinaplos niya ang tiyan ko. "Everyone's excited for you, baby. Gusto ka na nilang makita."

"Ano ka ba? Baka magmadali yan lumabas." I giggled.

"But we're not in a hurry. Diyan ka lang muna hanggang ready ka na lumabas." Sabi niya. "Basta huwag mo lang pahihirapan ang Mymy. Si Dada na lang, paglabas mo."

I smiled at what he said. Umangat ang mga mata niya sa akin. He cupped my face in his hand and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, Anais."

"I love you too, Coco." I sincerely said.