It was raining that night.. And ever since then, rain was never the same again.

...

Another night.

...

Another night.

...

Another night.

...

Ano-

So why wasn't he still over it?

Why did it feel like she was still there?

Her hands, her lips, her hair, her smell, her eyes. Looking at him. Holding him.

He doesn't want that.

...

"Master Grayson. I have knocked more than one would normally do on this door. Do I leave your plate downstairs?" The voice came from outside the room.

Dick was aware of how it had changed over the years. Alfred sounded firmer back in the day. Now his voice was a little bit more raspier. And his accent was a bit more noticeable as well, whenever he had to make effort to make a word sound louder.

He missed the old days. He loved being the famous boy wonder and trudging along Batman. Bruce wasn't always the best, but he tried.

He was always proud of his old self. He sometimes wondered how little Dick would feel if he knew what he let Taran-

No. Nothing happened. Atleast nothing he'd need to be concerned with.

"Master Grayson, is everything alright in there?" Alfred's voice came for a second time. Although the door knob was starting to twist.

Dick wasn't stupid. He knew Alfred would break in if he thought something was wrong. So he got up and walked towards the door. Only to open it and find the man standing with his back straight as ever. If he hadn't seen the door knob rattling. He wouldn't have suspected a thing. "What's up Alfie?"

Alfred looked at the man up and down. He may not be trained exactly like the others in the house. But he wasn't an idiot for God's sake. He knew when one of his boys had something going on.

"Dinner is ready. Although I must ask again, are you alright?" As the words left his mouth he lifted his hand to place it on Dick's shoulder. He had known the man since he was 12. He was always a bit more physically involved than his mentor.

So imagine his surprise when Dick didn't exactly react how he usually would have. For the first time since Grayson arrived at the manor. He didn't welcome the touch. Mind you he was too well trained to let much of it show. So he didn't flinch or back away. He didn't even try to move aside with a big gesture to cause a distraction, he knew there was no way Alfred wouldn't have noticed that. Instead, he tensed. Not much. But his shoulders dragged themselves an inch higher. His legs slightly taking a balanced stance.

One would say he expected a hook to the face.

Despite that. He placed his hand on top of the butler's.

"Alfred, I promise I'm doing fine. Let it go. " With that he sidestepped Alfred and made his way into the hallway.

....

Standing in front of mirrors wasn't hard.

Wasn't.

Now however. It was like the reflection had a stain on it. A permanent one. Not on the glass. But on the one standing in front of it.

He used to love his reflection, not in an excessive narcissist way. But jumping from building to building in the middle of the night and fighting criminals for a living, left a good toned body behind. He never hid the fact that he was proud of it.

But that changed into a new thing. The reflection was now stained. And he needed to clean the stain out of it.

It became routine.

Scratching.

Scrubbing.

Scratch.

Scrub.

Scratch.

Scrub.

Scratch-

Bleed?

Soon enough the reflection would go back to normal. Imaginary hands wouldn't be on his chest. Imaginary lips wouldn't be on his neck. Her hips wouldn't be on-

No.

They weren't going to be there because they never where.

But then again.....Why did the next day come back to the same routine.

...

"Bruce? You called?" Dick's voice came into the cave. He also took his domino mask off while at it. God that thing gets sweaty.

"Yes. I did. That Blockbuster case there's-" Bruce always spoke the same way. His voice was monotone and only when he was asking a question did the tone change at last minute to let you know it was a question. Other than that, he always used the same voice.

But today...he said Blockbuster and Dick could swear his voice shifted to one of dissapointment, or judgement or disgust....Or all of them at the same time.

This was it. He knew. It was over.

"Blockbuster? What about it. I closed that case two weeks ago." He was so caught up on answering that he didn't notice the walls he let down.

Bruce did. He always did.

It wasn't like Dick to interrupt whenever he brought him down to talk about some cases. But that's not the only thing. His voice went up slightly when he said the name 'Blockbuster'. And he started his sentence out of breath. Like he'd been holding his breath underwater for half an hour. His eyes slightly widened and he avoided eye contact.

Alfred had mentioned that he was acting off about a week ago. He just didn't know why. And he was pretty sure he wouldn't be welcomed to ask. He and Dick didn't always end up on a good place whenever he decided to try to get him to open up.

Especially since he was aware he wasn't good at the whole communication thing.

"Nothing. Just wanted to make sure. You didn't mark it as a closed case. Did you forget something to add to the report?" As he said this he continued looking at the screen as if he had noticed nothing. If Dick wanted to talk about it he would.

However he could still see from the corner of his eyes how Dick tensed.

What is going on?

"No. I didn't forget anything. I was just tired after I got done with it. Must've forgotten about it." The lie left his lips as naturally as he breathed.

In fact. Had Bruce not seen his body language before. He might have fallen for it.

"Ok. That was all." Said Bruce.

And with that Dick picked up the mask again and went out to do his patrol.

He hadn't forgotten anything in his report.

He just couldn't mention that.

But still he left it as an open case....because for him? It would never be something solved.

....

Being a police officer was a tough job. But it got easier with time, especially if you were a crime fighting vigilante at night.

He was pretty sure the Joker was a little bit more scary than the guy robbing the grocery store.

Which is why he was pretty sure this case shouldn't have been as hard as it was. After all he was a cop in Bludhaven. Second city only to Gotham with the highest crime rate. So of course it was expected to have a sexual assault call. It was normal. He was pretty sure the department got at least five sexual assault calls a day. Sucked how many of those cases didn't end up well for the victim. Despite the evidence.

He had worked sexual assault cases before. He knew what to expect when he entered the scene, talk to the victim, make them feel okay by avoiding physical contact, stand in between the line of sight of them and their abuser, tell them it's all going to be okay, give them the medical check-ups, take the report. In short just another day at the job.

So why was this one so different.

Why did this time around looking at the victim felt so personal. Why did this time when he saw the victim, did he see himself?

It was impossible to see himself. The victim was five foot and two inches tall, with some long blonde hair, light colored skin and green eyes, female.

He wasn't. He was 5'11. He had black short hair, he had bolder shoulders, his skin was slightly darker given his heritage, he was male.
There was no way to confuse the two.

But that wasn't it.

It was how she was shaking. He once shook like that.

How she sat hunched over in a corner, knees to her chest and face buried in between them. He'd sat like that before.

How she avoided physical touch from everyone and her breathing got heavier whenever someone stood too close. Making her feel trapped. He'd felt like that. He'd avoided that .

How she looked at the man being taken away with a spark of fear and relief. He'd looked at someone like that before.

He was her. Not in a physical way...But he wasn't ready to accept it. No matter how much sense it could make.

Taran- She.- Didn't. Touch. Him.

....

Alfred was old. That was no secret from anybody. He knew he was old himself.

He was also a very experienced old man. And he could put some pieces together. It had been 2 months since Dick had come to the manor to write a new report on what he called the 'Blockbuster case'.

It had been 2 months since Alfred noticed something was wrong. Mind you, he had manners so he never brought it up. He knew something was wrong but something also told him that silence would be more welcomed in this case.

Bruce was away on business. Tim was spending the night with the Titans. Damian was away with Bruce. Jason? Wasn't coming home tonight. He almost never did.

Which meant Alfred had the manor to himself. And the cave as well. He knew the bat computer searches weren't saved.

Security protocol.

If you asked him, he'd say Bruce was just being paranoid.

So he sat there in front of the giant glowing monitor. Hoping that he was wrong.

Because it wasn't fair for something like that to happen to his boy. Yet all the little details had led to it. He was sure, despite how much he hated it. Still. He typed his question into the web.

What are signs of sexual assault on a person?

And with that he knew.

Alfred wasn't one for crying. He'd seen things that would have anyone sobbing while struggling to catch their breath that would last him for this lifetime and the next.

Still, if anyone else had been on that cave with him. They would've seen the old man slowly sink back into his chair. A hand over his mouth, eyes wide while looking at the screen.

A tear falling down his face.

Oh.

Oh. His poor boy.

...

Cassandra Cain.

She saw it all.

Which is why, she saw him. His tense stance, his avoiding for physical touch. How a certain type of woman would cause him to be alert. How some case debriefs he was nowhere to be found.

She saw it all.

Including the biggest secret he ever had.

...

Cass knocked on the apartment door. She was aware on how exactly she could break in without even alerting him to her presence. But she wanted him to know she was there.

The door knob rattled and in came Dick's face to view"Heyyy....Cass? Why are you knocking?"

Without saying a single word she slid inside the apartment. Leaving Dick to follow behind her after closing the door. She had always liked his place. It was simple. Made it easier to move around the place. Also made it harder for enemies to hide.

He was also a trapeze artist. He liked to move around.

Ignoring her thoughts. Cass stood straight in front of the couch while Dick came over infront of her. There's was a window to the side of the room which brought in enough light from the lamp-post down the street for them to see eachother clearly.

"Blockbuster." She said. Her eyes hard but with a hint of softness behind them.

Dick reacted almost immediately. He crossed his arms over his chest. And looked towards the window. It was raining. He hated that nowadays. "I closed that case almost 4 months ago Cass."

"No." She stood her ground.

How dare she? How dare she? Come into his apartment to tell him that the case wasn't closed?

"Listen Cass. I'm pretty sure it is closed. I was working on it. I turned in the report 4 months ago. End of story." He let out the words firmly but fast. Like it burned him to hold them in. And with a tone that was poison.

It was a warning for Cassandra to leave it alone.

To leave him alone.

But she wasn't just going to back down. "Case, closed. But it's not the case I talk about."

Something in her voice must've changed. Because Dick's eyes snapped from the window towards hers.

If the inferno was right and hell was cold. And the sky in it was blue. Dick's eyes would be the exact same shade. So the intensity which his eyes held when he looked at Cass. Even in the darkness. Wasn't easily missed.

This was Cass. He couldn't lie to Cass.

But she couldn't know. What would she think of him? Cass had been trained by assasins, maybe she wouldn't judge. She'd seen far worse, right? She would understand how he felt, how he remembered the moment everytime someone stepped too close, and how he hadn't gone out with anyone in this past 4 months for fear that they-

He hadn't meant to.

He didn't want to.

He was sorry.

He should've been more careful. He shouldn't have-

He didn't know what it was. Either the way Cass was silently standing there or the thought that someone else knew and that, that someone didn't blame him. He couldn't anymore.

He let himself slide down to the floor. And cry.

Cass didn't speak much as it was. She wasn't going to speak of this either. She'd take it to her grave if she had to. So she sat down on the floor. And held out her hand.

Let him choose. He should've always had the right to choose.

He never should've lost it in the first place.

He took her hand. And she pulled herself in closer to brush his hair. "Not your fault. I'm here."

"Cass, I'm scared. If she comes back...if she fucking comes back.." He didn't know what exactly he would do if she did.

"She's not touch you. I'll cut her hand." She said with a straight face that made Dick know that she was one hundred percent serious.

That made him cry harder. But it felt good to hear it.

...

9 months and still, he couldn't sleep well.

Nightwing.....don't you miss me?

No.

What happened on that roof can happen once more. Just sit there and look pretty.

No.

I don't care about that.

" I said no! " His own voice woke him up. It was getting normal for him nowadays. The heavy breathing was also normal, just like the shaking hand reaching for the cup of water on his night stand.

He wasn't in Bludhaven tonight though. He was at the manor. He had stayed to help Bruce with a case.

So the knock that came on the door wasn't normal. Even less so the fact that the door busted open and Alfred came in and locked it behind him. "Master Grayson, is everything alright here?"

No.

"Yes Alfred, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" He took a hand and dragged it across his face. Maybe if he hadn't he would've seen the old butler's eye soften with realization.

"No Master Grayson. I was up either way. Would you mind if I sat here?" He said while looking at the edge of the bed.

He'd missed this late night talks with Alfred. Maybe this one would help him sleep.

"You hadn't done this in a while." Dick said, while he placed the cup back on the night stand.

"You haven't been around much in order for me to do so." Alfred's eyes dropped a little towards the floor and they where taken over by a nostalgic glint.

He swore he could see a little version of the man sitting right next to him running across the manor.

"The secret service showed me a lot of things boy. Some so....that doesn't matter. The point is Richard.." Dick straightened up, Alfred so rarely called him something other than 'Master Grayson' or 'my boy'.

"..I blamed myself for some of them. Even when I wasn't the one to blame. And they where things I couldn't control." He finished saying.

Dick was pretty sure he knew what Alfred was referring to. Which is why he held the blanket tighter. "...It's different."

"You weren't given a choice. If there is someone to blame. Which let me assure you. There is. It's, not you. " Alfred's words hit like a train.

"I do not know what, or who it was. But I have a decent clue as to what happened, my boy. You are not alone. I won't push the subject. And I will tell no one." Alfred knew. He always knew.

And Dick couldn't have been more grateful.

"Thank you."

...

It had been a year and 2 months since the whole thing. That's what it was to Dick.

Atleast until he sat down with a group of friends from Highschool. He didn't know when the conversation took such a turn. But at some point during the night it had. One of them had mentioned a case in the news. Dick knew which one it was.

He had avoided it like the plague.

And that brought up his friend John to say "I've been through my own experience with sexual assault. Wouldn't wish for it to happen to anyone."

Dick froze.

Sexual assault.

Sexual assault.

Hearing it out loud was hard.

After excusing himself to the bathroom he locked the door and looked at himself in the mirror. It had gotten easier over the time.

Sexual assault.

He thought about it. He thought about her.

He'd said no.

He didn't want it.

She continued.

Oh God. He hated it. He didn't want to admit it.

"I was raped." He didn't speak to anyone in particular but his reflection. He swore that the shoulders lost a bit of tension upon hearing the words. A year and two months ago, he'd gotten raped by Taran- by her. But he couldn't believe it himself. After all it wasn't easy to accept such a thing.

He'd been raped. A year and 2 months ago on that rooftop.

...

2 years after her .

He started dating Barbara again. They always bounced back.

"Stop." He was hyperventilating.

Fuck.

He could hear a voice in the background... He just wasn't sure if he could follow what it said.

"Di..."

Not again.

"Dick liste.."

He was over it.

"Dick listen to me. I need you to try and hold your breath and count to ten."

She wasn't here.

Yes she is.

"Dick. Can you tell me where you are?"

In the living room on the couch.

On the roof.

He took in a shaky breath.

...

It took a while but he managed to level his breathing. That was a panic attack. And a bad one.

He'd almost forgotten where he was until he saw Barbara infront of him. She had moved off from his lap and sat at the corner of the couch. She threw on an oversized shirt at some point, her pants where still missing. He had a blanket covering him up.

"Dick..can you tell me where you are?" She asked again. This time he could see her intense stare.

"I'm in your apartment. Sitting on the couch I helped you pick 3 years ago." He remembered that day, it was a year before he-

"What are 5 things you can see?" Her staring didn't go down inintensity.

He wasn't stupid.

"Stop doing that. I already told you I'm fine." He straightened up and got up towards the kitchen.

"You're clearly not fine Grayson. You just had a panic attack while we were about to have sex. And now you want to tell me you're fine and to ignore it?" If she could smack him. She would.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm telling you to do." He opened the fridge. He just wished she would stop pushing.

"Dick. We need to talk about this. You can't avoid it."

He took in a shaky breath. He knew that if he was going to continue dating Barb, he couldn't keep this to himself.

Barbara was right. She was always right. So after he grabbed the glass of water and washed it he walked over to the couch and patted the space next to him so Barbara could sit next to him. And so she did and he twisted around to the side so he could face her.

"Babs....two years ago..." He couldn't speak. The lump against his throat wouldn't let him.

"Is this about about case you never let any of us help you with?" She said. Barbara always was a smart woman.

"Yes. It is. Babs..I left something out of the report. That woman that killed Blockbuster....she...umm..." How is she going to take this?

"She raped me." Holy shit.

Babs eyes widened and Dick got nervous.
Would she hate him now? Is she disgusted in him? Is she dissapointed? Or-

"....Dick...Why didn't you tell me?" Her eyes had watered.

He didn't expect that. He expected anger, disgust, disgracefulness. But never sympathy.
"You're actually the first who I actually tell."

He didn't know what it was. Or how he even got so lucky. But Barbara asked. She asked what had triggered his panic attack. Turns out she had said something similar to what she had said back on that roof. Babs asked for a list of things that may trigger him to avoid them. And Barbara.....Barbara didn't want to continue that night. Instead she put on a movie and fell asleep on him on the couch.

She was always the best of the two.

...

Despite having told Babs he still felt tainted. She hadn't said anything to make him feel like that however. He just felt guilty.

The amount of times he'd ruined their sexual relationship by backing out. Coward.

But tonight wasn't the night for that. He was out tonight patrolling, that was until the Red Hood had come around to tell him he needed assistance in his territory.

The night had gone by fine. They'd manage to get the Riddler goons into custody and difuse the bomb by solving the riddle.

"You know little bird, I'll race you back to the gargoyle." Dick's voice came in through Jason's comm.

Even after his whole zombified tantrum ordeal, (That's what Roy called it when he wanted to make a joke.) he'd managed to miss this with Dick. They weren't exactly best of friends or even much of brothers back in the day. But they had their moments. "Ok, don't get all whiny when I beat you to it."

Except that after a while of rooftop swinging. Dick was nowhere to be seen at the gargoyle. Usually he wouldn't be too far behind.

Maybe he'd gotten injured on the fight and fell.

"Nightwing? Come in." He said into his comm.
He let the silence be heard for a minute. Why wasn't he answering.

"Hey dickhea-" That's when he heard it. Down a couple alleys there was a scream. A man. He'd grown to recognize his family's voice. Which is why he knew it wasn't Grayson, but he was still a crime fighter, and something told him there was something going on.

You know, guiding by the scream.

He swung down into the alley. And he didn't exactly know what he was expecting but it wasn't this.

Turns out Nightwing was already there. And by the looks of it, he was the one causing the screams. There was one man down in the corner and at the end of the alley against the wall was a man, knees pulled to his chest, covering his ears and crying.

But the crying man wasn't Jason's concern.

It was Dick. Who was standing right above another man, fist pulled back for a hit. And although the domino mask didn't exactly let his eyes be seen, the rage on his face was visible. Jason had heard of Dick's anger. Hell even he had heard Dick arguing in the cave with Bruce back in his Robin days.

But that was Bruce. Bruce could handle a punch. Or ten. This guy however was clearly past his limit. And had clearly gone through more than just one punch.

He walked over and held Dick's arm. "NIGHTWING THAT'S ENOUGH."

It was like talking to himself. So he leaned in close to him while twisting his arm behind his back. Dick was always flexible so it was hard holding him in place. "Richard, look at him. You turned one of his knees inside out. His eye is bruised. And I'm pretty sure you gave him a concussion and some cracked ribs. Stop."

Upon hearing his name something clicked in him. Dick stopped moving altogether.

To Jason's surprise he didn't seem to care about the damage inflicted on the guy. His eyes dragged over to the guy in the back of the alley.

After making sure Grayson wasn't going to go feral all over again. He let go.

Dick made his way to the back and squated down in front of the man. His whole body language had changed. And he was keeping some distance. "Hey, look up."

The man did as asked. He wasn't so crazy as to not listen to a Gotham vigilante. He took in the scene in front of him, the Red Hood was there and the man who had....he was all beat up, along with his friend . "Thank you. You have no idea how thankful..."

Actually he had a pretty fair idea. "No need for that. You don't need to worry about him for a while."

With that they called the cops to come take the 2 men to the hospital and escort the last one back. During all of this Jason was quiet. He had an idea of what might've caused such a response. But he wouldn't make any assumptions. Mainly because he promised Bruce to stop killing and if he was right, that promise wasn't going to last long.

"Don't tell Bruce." Dick's voice came next to him.

Motherfucker was always sneaky.

"Wasn't planning on it."

...

It wasn't until a couple months after that they went out that Dick saw a woman with brown skin and long black hair with an orange shirt and honest to God flinched when she bumped into his shoulder, that Jason had his answer.

...

Dick and Bruce where arguing again. It was stupid really. Bruce had just missed an activity at the animal shelter and left Damian hanging on their father and son day.

Ok so maybe it wasn't stupid. But Dick always managed to kick it up a notch.

One emotionally constipated adult and the other with anger issues. How bad could it be?

"Bruce you promised Damian you would be there! So where the fuck where you?" He was raging.

He had sworn he'd gotten better at keeping his anger in check. But Bruce was just standing there. Saying nothing. Just waiting for him to stop his 'scene'.

"Bruce I know that you haven't always been the number one dad of the year. But you could atleast try. The boy was raised by assasins and sometimes you make me think they probably would've treated him better than you are right now. He's a fucking child. Least you could do is be there for him!" Dick was known for his temper.

So it wasn't much of a surprise when he started. But Bruce was tired and he had already apologized to Damian and scheduled a whole new donation get together at the shelter.

After all taking on Amazo and Joker on the same night was a challenge.

So he wasn't exactly in an arguing mood. So while Dick was screaming and almost shaking with rage. He stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Dick flinched.

Wait...

"Did you think I was going to hit you?" Bruce's voice came out ice cold, but his eyes told a different story.

Did Dick really think that he would lay a hand on him? Over something like this? Or ever?

Meanwhile Dick had gotten so carried away by his anger that he had forgotten to keep his walls up. He didn't know if he was ready to tell Bruce about Tarantu- He wasn't ready. Not yet.

"No, I just got a bad hit to the shoulder the other day and I'm a little tense." He took in a deep breath after his sentence.

Bruce still didn't seem convinced. And Dick's temper came down. Bruce was a shit father. But he wouldn't hit his kids. So Dick had to make sure he knew.

"Bruce, I know you would never lay a hand on me. On any of us." He looked at Bruce to see if he had followed what he said.

Apparently something in his voice shifted because Bruce's shoulders un-tensed. Still he didn't try to go towards Dick again. He might've believed the fact that Dick didn't expect to get hit. But he knew that the injury was a lie.

"You can always talk to me." Bruce said.

He was wrong. Dick couldn't even bring himself up to say her name yet.

He wanted to tell Bruce. He didn't like lying to him, but he couldn't.

Not yet.

...

It had been 6 years and 3 months since that weird Blockbuster case and 3 since that one argument with Dick and Bruce had said nothing. So imagine his surprise when he's suddenly called down to the Batcave by his oldest son and finding Jason, Tim, Damian, Alfred, Stephanie, Cass, Duke, and Barbara in the same place.

In the middle of the room stood Richard. His oldest. Bruce examined him. Like he had done every day since that conversation in the cave. 6 years ago. Something had changed in Dick. Or more like something was lost. Now, he couldn't tell what it was. And it definitely wasn't back. But it was starting to re- appear.

"Grayson?" Came in Damian's voice.

Dick was standing there looking like he might throw up. But he'd always been strong. So he wasn't backing down. "I have something to share."

"It better be some time Dickiebird because you're wasting mine here." Jay broke in. He always did. Bruce might've argued if he didn't know this was some sort of love language for him.

"No. It's not time. I wanted to say that.." Here goes everything.

"I got raped." And just like that. The room went quiet.

Bruce looked at Dick. And it all made sense. The avoiding physical touch back then, the alert and avoidance towards certain cases, the nightmares, the panic attacks, the Scratch marks, the sleepless nights- For 6 years.

"When?" Bruce couldn't help it. He had to know. Although he was pretty sure he had a clue. Since when had his son had been doing this alone.

"6 years and 3 months ago on the Blockbuster case. My case report mentioned Taran- Tarantula, killing Blockbuster. And how I let her. But it didn't mention how she raped me on that rooftop after."

It was Duke's turn to speak "And you've been holding on to all of this alone?"

"No. He hasn't." And to everyone's surprise. It was Jason who spoke up. Everyone including Dick.

"How did you know?" Dick asked.

"Dickie, we're vigilantes. We've all seen the victims. I recognized the signs. Who do you think made sure no SA case stopped by your way?" His jaw was clenched. His fist tightened at his sides. Everyone knew Tarantula was lucky she didn't live in Gotham. The Red Hood would've killed her by now.

" Besides...you're not alone in it." Stephanie barely talked about her own experience. So the fact that she was trying was more than enough.

"We're family Dick. We're always here." Tim's voice came a little strained, but it offered the comfort. After all, he'd also had his own interaction during his solo time as Red Robin.

"He was never alone." Cass said. She stepped forwards and took Barbara's hand and let her eyes glance at Alfred. "He was never going to."

"Grayson, you're still our best brother, no matter how she made you feel afterwards." Damian was never much of an emotions boy. But the fact he tried.

That made Dick smile.

But nothing prepared any of them for what happened next.

Bruce walked across the room. And Dick stood straighter. Was he dissapointed? Would he get rid of him? Was this the end of the once original dynamic du-

But no.

Bruce....hugged him.

" You're my son. And I'm sorry that I couldn't see what you were going through. And although you didn't go through it alone I'm sorry that I wasn't the father you needed. I should've said something when I noticed something was off. It wasn't your fault. And you are so strong for telling us. I'm proud of you." His words where whispered into Dick's ears. And over the years he'd hear the 'It's not your fault' line a couple of times.

But boy. Was he glad that he'd said it.

Dick still got nightmares at times he still got triggered, her name couldn't be spoken near him and he sometimes still saw stains in the reflection. He hadn't accepted it. He never was.

He owed it to no one to accept and forgive. No one but himself. And that would take time. And with him? That's was totally fine.

After all. Acceptance was hard.

...

A/N

Hello. Today's chapter was a bit tough. And I want to say that the whole story will not be gentle about what's abuse. Either verbal/physical/mental/sexual. And I will also be going into PTSD and anxiety and depression and of course how a life of crime fighting can affect these characters.

Please do be careful in reading this story. If you thought this chapter was too much. I suggest backing out for the rest of it.

...

Call someone who can help
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RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted please communicate with the organization.

You don't need to speak up about it now. Dick was quiet about it for 6 years according to my fic. I understand what it's like to want to keep quiet or deny what happened. You have people around you to help, even if it doesn't look like it. And you have people who may have gone through something similar. Don't hesitate to reach out if you feel like it's it's much.