Kyle

It's been two days since Keith moved in our area and, I swear for only two days I am running out of excuses to bail from hanging out with him. He has been asking me again if we can hang out but, I told him that I can't. He looks kinda sad though, I feel bad about it but, my dad doesn't want me to hang out with boys because he thinks that I will get touchy with them. My dad really hates me being gay so the last thing I need is to face his wrath. Sometimes I wish I had a more accepting dad, and a mother also. I tried erasing that thought in my head cause it only makes me feel bitter about my shitty life.

"Oh come on Kylie, how about this weekend." I winced on the nickname Keith gave me, he's still pushing the idea of us hanging out it's so frustrating to keep saying no. "Keithan, I have work during the weekends." I told him. "I really like it when you call me that but, come on where do you work?" He asked. "Maybe I can bother you during your work, or even just in your break time?" He, pleaded. Now he just looks cute with his puppy eyes, how can I say no to this boy. "Okay fine, I am working on a local diner in the middle of the city, eat there so my manager won't have a problem with you staying there." I finally gave in and he gave me his biggest smile ever, my heart feels like it's gonna explode.

Our day went on okay but, one of our evil teacher decided to group us to make a report on a subject matter. I'm okay being grouped with Keithan because he bugged the teacher to be grouped with me and hell it was hilarious. The only thing that's bothering me is being grouped with Dylan Pierce. I mean he calls me names but, he doesn't do physical bullying. I'm just really worried that when I talk to him he would just snap at me just because he doesn't like me much. Also, I really hate this teacher because, she literally have the task given today and our group is the first to present in two days! I swear this teacher just doesn't want to teach so she pass all the work to us! This is so irritating but, what can I do right?

After, our class we needed to go to the library to do extensive research about the topic that we are about to present in a matter of two days. Of course I called my dad that I will stay here at school with two boys to do work and, he said he will pick me up just to make sure I'm not being a bad boy. Yes, I insisted to do the work here cause, I don't want my dad rampaging about me beeing in another boy's house. I'm glad that our school offers night classes too so it closes up quite later than the others. After the call I returned to our group to discuss everything up. "Okay guys, let's divide the sub-topics for the report." I told them. "Pick the topic that you are most comfortable working with." I continued. So we worked for about an hour and we came up with our hand written individual reports. "Okay guys let's explain our reports to each other." I told them and both of them asked me why. "Well this teacher likes to see students suffer, I heard that sometimes she switches the topics and the reporters so, we need to be prepared about that." Keithan mouthed an 'O' and Dylan just nodded.

So we discuss each and every topic and to my surprise these two guys right here are very smart. Well, not that I damn them but, Keithan always looks confused with the world and Dylan is a jock so, I categorized him as dumb as his friends. There's one thing that I really can't understand in Dylan's topic, it's so frustrating. "What are you staring at?" Dylan asked me and, I panicked cause he might think that I am eying him or something. "Is there something that's difficult to understand?" I can breathe again, wow, maybe Dylan is not an airhaid after all. I nodded and pointed out what's being difficult for me and he further elaborated his explanation about it.

So we've been working for three hours now and, it's about like polishing the report and we will be done with it. We are just slacking a little before we go home as Keithan volunteered to make the slides for the presentation. I guess Dylan and Keithan are getting comfortable with each other cause they are now talking about random stuff. Keithan tries to get me involved but, Dylan doesn't want to do anything with me. "Why do you hang around him?" Dylan asked Keith while he look at me. "He's my friend." Keithan replied. "Like, why be friends with him? He's the school's fag you know." I can feel that Keithan is getting annoyed but, he chose not to answer. "Are you gay too?" Dylan continued and I felt my throat starts to become dry. "I dunno, you guess. Do you have a problem with gay people? Because from where I came from we can be friends with who we want to." Keithan said in an irritated tone. I just look down, why do people always have to validate something. I feel anger build within me. "If you have a problem with me Dylan then tell me!" I blurted out and to my surprise Dylan smiled at me leaving both Keithan and I confused. "That's more like it, while we discussed the report you were so confident and sure of yourself but, when we started a simple conversation you started to hold back again. You need to fight for yourself sometimes you know. If there's one lesson that my gay brother had taught me, it is being gay doesn't mean being weak." He finished. "Wait what, you have a gay brother?" I asked him and he just said yup at me. "Then why call me names?" I asked further. "Cause, I'm annoyed that just because you are gay you let people step on you." And to my shock I just nodded and he smiled more. "You know Kyle you're not weak, just try to let go a little you've been holding back for too long." He continued but, we were distracted by a sniff from Keith, damn he looks like he's about to cry and hell Dylan and I can't help laughing our asses off. "My friends are really going along well." He said while he sniffs and Dylan and I laughed even harder.

I was just glad that we finished our report because, we got kicked out from the library. I told them that they can go home and I will just wait for my dad but, they insisted that they will wait with me. Yes, even Dylan stayed. We talk some more and laugh some more and before I know it my dad arrived with his car. "Guys, my dad's here so, see you tomorrow?" I said and they both nodded. I saw Dylan ran to his fancy BMW, yeah the super car type, wow he is rich, I wish I have a better life too. Keithan slowly walked to his car and unlocked it. It's a Ferrari, it's a goddamn Ferrari. I hopped into my dad's car still in shock of how rich Keithan is. "You know kid, I don't mind if the guy in the Ferrari will become your boyfriend." My dad blurted out. "Man I can ask him for money just by allowing you to date him." I was disgusted by every word that he said but, I chose not to talk back because I don't want to end up with a broken bone.

When we got home, I just grab some bread from the counter and a carton of milk from the fridge and I go straight to my room and lock the door. Dad has been drinking again and when that happens nothing good comes out of it, especially for me. This has been my routine after school everyday, the only changes are when my dad is enraged, he will caught me before I lock myself and I will end up with more cuts and bruises that my little weak body can handle. We don't want that here so over the years I learned to move fast. I'm mad about what my dad is doing to me but, I can't leave him, I still love him. I don't want to leave him just like what mom did to us years ago. Yes, we were normal, we were happy but now, we are broken. And I hate mom for every single piece of misery she brought to our family, I will never be able to forgive her.

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Photo of Kyle on top.