Umma once told Sadiq, 'You begin to die from the minute you're born,' and Sadiq only believed he started to die the second he was shoved away from the gruesome sight and angle of his beloved by the cops.

Rewind; Sadiq woke up with a headache, his body sore and fatigued. All he wished was to go back to sleep but hunger and the thought of Amani wouldn't let him. Not to talk of the call from Abi demanding he show up first thing in the morning. After confirming Amani was still asleep, he showered, chugging bottles of water that made him feel a tad better before ordering breakfast to be delivered for Amani in the next hour and stopping by the next fast food stop he could find.

Back at the lodge, Sadiq dishearteningly found the lodge devoid of Amani after running errands and saying his goodbyes to Umma, his head-splitting headache still intact. The food he ordered for her was untouched and a security guard confirmed her early departure.

Every text or call of his was ignored and unanswered, making it necessary for him to sweat out and imagine every ill possibility. But he was quick to push them; Amani had traveled to countries thrice the amount he had, sometimes alone, she was fine; she was just mad at him. No allusive reason as to why she acted out the night before, or why she was mad at him the following morning.

As he had laid on a clean slate, Sadiq was not blind. Amani harbored no imperfections in his perspective and wished they could switch roles for once; so she could see how righteous his intentions were. She was every good thing she believed not. How could he convince her?

Now, how could he convince himself that he was hallucinating? How could he coerce his roaring heart that Amani, Nadeen, Mommy, and Daddy were each not stretched into ambulances in the humongous lot of the Katagum manse?

Sadiq's eyes protested at the sight, his hands reaching towards his beloved who was handcuffed. So lifeless and close this second but disappearing with the doors closing the next second.

Sweat pores split to work, gluing to Sadiq's skin while his flats did the same to the scorching interlocks of the Katagum residence.

Distance away, women were held back, sobbing, wailing, and waterworks, and that only retrogressed matters for Sadiq. After being trapped in a life-siphoning trance, Sadiq fruitlessly begged for an answer from the crowd to the end game of nothing.

With struggles, he arrived at the hospital the family had been rushed to with three godawful scratches to particular regions of his car that he barely bothered for. The Accident and Emergency department proved to be the most bustling department of the clinic, the sirens wailing, cops scattered, paramedics and clinic officials interacting chaotically.

Sadiq waited, paced, and did everything in his power for vital information and got nothing. A stroke of luck hit him as he rose his face from his sweaty palms to a cop handing a file to who looked to be a co-worker. The familiarity had Sadiq rising, sending his feet towards the man whose deep frown fluttered at the sight of Sadiq before he gave a final order and turned.

"Ina wuni, Kawu." Sadiq greeted Umma's duplicate brother, Muhammad, slightly bowing and the man straightened, placing a tight palm on Sadiq's slackened shoulder.

"Lafia, Buba. What are you doing here? Jays ce?"

Sadiq shook his head.

"Waye toh?"

"I am here to see my girlfriend."

"Oh..." a smile spread across Muhammad's face as he nodded, "You have a girlfriend i see. Masha Allah."

Before Sadiq could ask a question, Muhammad patted his shoulder, walking ahead and answering his held question, "I am here as the head detective in charge of the Katagum murder case."

"Murder?" Sadiq exclaimed, ceasing in his tracks as his uncle twisted to him.

"Yes. Ambassador Saad was killed some hours back." Muhammad affirmed, almost nonchalantly, and ceased in his tracks, turning and grabbing his nephew's stiffened shoulder. "Who is this in-law of mine? Is she sick? I should see her when I have the time."

The question did not go past Sadiq but too stunned to digest the hideous news he received, his uncle had to shake him.

"Sadiq."

He jerked, glancing around the scanty hallway.

Someone attempted to murder Amani, her siblings, mother and was successful in murdering her father?

"I said who is the girlfriend? Is she sick?"

"Yeah..." he paused, shaking his head before he looked up at his tall uncle. "Amani. Amani Katagum."

Muhammad's hand on his nephew dropped, his eyes widening. "Amani?" He managed to not stutter, sending his arm to the side as if she was there.

Sadiq nodded and his uncle shook his head, dropping his hands on his waist and taking a step back. "That's not a girlfriend, Sadiq. She is a psycho."

Defensive, Sadiq's nose and lips curled up. "Anya ka santa kuwa?"

"Toh your girlfriend was caught grinning at a dead body, what do you want me to think? Ubanta ne fa." Sadiq stared bedazzled at the man spitting bullshit. He never knew this side of his uncle -he hadn't crossed him in his line of work. "Everything is obvious, I just have to prove it."

All his uncle spilled were lies.

"He was abusive." Sadiq finally admitted, the need to defend and shoo any black paint against Amani's name stiffening his jaw and shoulders.

"He was a good man." Muhammad shot back.

That said, Sadiq had no proof that Ambassador Saad was abusive and any debate would be fruitless. In place of it, he begged. "Please, I need to see her."

The words had not finished leaving Sadiq's strained lips and Muhammad was shaking his head, crushing his eyes close. "No. I will not allow you around such company."

"Don Allah kawu."

The man paid no further heed to his nephew, walking ahead.

The dismissal was trashed, Sadiq dismissing the memo and straining behind until he caught sight of his uncle vigorously signing papers held by his team members an hour later.

"You are not changing my mind, Sadiq." Muhammad set a file out to a corp.

"Please, hear me out."

"Aren't you facing your final year first exams?" Muhammad took long strides which Sadiq's shorter legs could barely catch up with without jogging.

"Yes, but I need to see her."

The man in black slowed his strides to a cease, turning a raised brow at Sadiq before shaking his head. "These things happen, people die, some go to prison. Go and study for your exams."

Sadiq thrashed his arms in frustration, furthering his gathered tears to cloud his vision. "I will-can not concentrate."

Torn between giving into his hidden conscience or denying a request that could be easily wiped out in order not to ruin his career, he stared at his almost trembling nephew. He had never seen him like that, even during his hospital days.

Although being in this line of work meant being improvising and unethical, he was not letting his love for family cloud his judgment regarding a homicide case. He straightened one last time, "No."

Umma was right. You begin to die from the hour you're born. You just never acknowledge it.

Sadiq's stooped posture and heavy, pounding heart sent signals to organs of his body, compelling him to acknowledge and actualize his mother's words.

Amani could not have a hand in this. His Nanu could not.

But that was the thing about being optimistic on vague matters. In minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years, the big picture came, the tormenting truth and two rancorous options;

Stand up when your ankles are pinned to the ground in support or Stay down, disastrously watch and spend the rest of your days in self-condemnation.

***

Ringing. Loud, unceasing ringing.

Light. Piercing, fluttering light.

Slipping in and out of consciousness, Amani flew atop the stretcher, the piercing light hitting her squinted eyes. Her eyes, head, and body protested, hands from around pushing her back. Bloody, half-dried hands slowly flew to her non-existent heart, resting on her heaving chest as her head was lifted, a hissing object being placed over her mouth and nose; An oxygen mask.

A look of turbulence crossed over her features as her eyes withered open and close to the white ceilings, white light, and people in black or sapphire.

Voices slowly emerged, the ringing surging as they did.

"Can you see me? Stay calm."

"Stay down, don't move."

Two voices-male and female rasped, pushing the stretcher into the emergency department.

Tiny flashes of misleading memories hit Amani and she attempted to rise, hands pushing her down and voices rasping again.

"Stay down!"

"Patient, Amani Saad, no visible injuries but there is mass blood on her. Pulses resuscitated en-route. Respiratory rate is twenty-two, pulse fluctuating between a hundred and eighteen and a hundred and twenty-one, blood pressure ninety over..." A nurse continued to yell, urging the bay nurse to chart everything down as they reached the CAT machine.

The nurse excused, leaving Amani's eyes wandering around as she tried to rise, her muscles disagreeing, gluing her to the stretcher.

"Nadeen..." she whispered, the sound coming off as a grunt as she tried to lift her bloody fingers. "Mommy...Nadeen..." It fell on deaf ears, their only aim was to push her into the CAT scanning machine before they were on their heels again, transporting her into another room.

Where was her family? Amani wished with everything in her that she didn't hurt them in her dizzy and piqued state of mind. If she did, the medics might as well let her die.

They did not, they resuscitated her code again, bringing her pulses back and condemning her.

Hours later, Amani stood in a zombie stance. The flashes of the camera in the blinding white room added salt to her wounds, ravishing her raw, agonized eyes.

The blood on her hands, now dried were revived from the paper bag they had been covered in. A woman pickled the blood, placing it into analytic containers.

Envelopes crinkling, the lab technician took samples of the blood on Amani, her latent prints, and all she could do was blink down the tears and breathe heavily.

"Can I go see my mum? How's my sister? Wha-did i-is she hurt?"

Her slurred questions were denied an answer and she looked around the lab, taking in machines she couldn't name, people she didn't know, and trying to keep her pounding head from falling.

Amani flinched at the hands on her shoulders, unbuttoning her clothes and she set her hands out in discontent.

"No." She croaked, struggling against the technician who ignored her protest and continued to unbutton her clothes. Amani resisted, swaying almost to the floor and being caught by rigid, leather-covered hands.

"Shh!" A gruff technician warned, taking her off guard and smothering her vest over her head.

The thought of men seeing her ugly, marked body worsened things along with the sudden urge to purge. She gasped, setting her fingers against the technician, her head falling forward and without warning, her intestines rose to her mouth; everything coming back through it. She purged all over, a shoulder patting her back until she fell back, curling her naked body into a ball.

Time, something Amani was obsessed with painfully passed by without her knowledge, reminding her of her nightmare-filled slumber and pushing her eyes open to a new setting. Every cell of hers protested against her act but she did not yield, widening her eyes, and moving her fingers until she could look down at her white-clothed body. The armless clinic dress reached her mid-thighs and she slumped into the bed, the back of her head roaring at the suddenness of her action. Heartbeat racing, she stared at the incandescent light of the penetrating white room.

Amani was thankful for the knock on the door, her eyes fleeing to it to avoid her ruinous thoughts. A man, an almost familiar man, fair and tall, head almost at the door appeared, clasping his palms behind him.

"Muhammad Yakasai, homicide detective. Your belongings have been set for forensic examinations along with your -"

"Amani." A kid called.

Muhammad's head whipped between the kid and the door to find Sadiq standing. "You can't be here." He protested towards the kid who threw his arms around Amani with a wail.

Amani hands instinctively wrapped around her brother. His scent, almost that of their mother provided her with the warmth her cold, shaken body had been seeking as she continued to grasp him like her last breath.

"He has been crying," Sadiq reasoned, his eyes dropping at his uncle's glare.

The detective held his yell, his teeth gritting against each other. "He has five minutes." Without regard to the patient and her crying brother, Muhammad dragged his nephew after announcing;

"We are holding you under custody until we have gathered proof or until you can get an appeal. You have a right to a counsel."

The words had Amani's facade fluctuating, Walid's cries not helping. She dropped her face into the kid's shoulder, sniffling back her mucus.

The urge to scream out in agony, but she could not. She needed to be strong, Walid had her now.

"Di-did they let you see Mommy or Nadeen?"

The kid's cries surged as he nodded and Amani pulled him into her skin. Hopefully into her promising heart. No one but her would suffer for this.

"They will be fine," Amani reassured hers and her brothers spilling hearts. "But, I need you to do something for me, okay?" The kid was smart enough. "Find a way to call Aunt Laura. Tell her I need a lawyer."

Walid continued to nod and sob. His cries doing wonders, ravaging her limb by limb and thrashing her remnants to hungry, wild dogs.

Minutes passed and as promised, the colleagues burst into the patient's room and peeled a crying and resisting Walid away before handing Amani oversized clothing. She slid into them, turning her eyes away from Walid, and pleading for them to get her out. She could not bear it, neither could she accept the offer to see her mother and Nadeen in their rooms.

Amani was hardly strong, nodding at Walid as they dragged her by the handcuffs. At every glance, she caught a physically distressed Sadiq, his arms hanging by the sides.

***

Amani was a shell Muhammad couldn't crack.

Sadiq knew that and begged to speak with her. Eyes in the room squinted, some clashing, most giving in and Muhammad shook his head. If his pushy questions and comments didn't unzip her mouth, how can someone else do it?

"She is a law student," Muhammad said, tilting his head. He would get to her, break her, make sure she collapsed, sending even her littlest secrets out for him to take, he just needed time.

A colleague reasoned with Muhammad, receiving an immediate glare while Sadiq was glad someone got his point, "You can record it. I promise to get her to talk and I am sure, she will not be guilty." The skin of his facial dragged in pleading.

Temptations and coercions flew in the form of suggestive comments from within the office. The desperation in Sadiq's pleading eyes settled on his uncle, clasping his palms and swaying them in plea. "Don Allah."

Muhammad sat back, gripping his chin and staring into space. Eyes and ears laid wide in the office in anticipation of his affirmation. When he finally nodded, sighs flew from everyone. He rose his index, affirming a single chance.

Sadiq was on his feet as he nodded and flattened his palms on the table in reassurance.

Breathing the same air with Amani was something Sadiq always looked forward to. Now, he was unsure. He shifted at her head-hung low figure, glancing at the mirror- where his uncle and colleagues stood, listening in.

Ironic how confident he was but now that he was before his girlfriend, his confidence withered. He gulped, sensing his inevitable time up and moving his eyes to Amani. Her bare face bubbled her brown freckles and dark eye bags on the surface. It was almost impossible, but she had lost weight. Perched there-nonchalant and unremorseful, this was not the Amani he knew.

"How are you feeling?" Sadiq asked a non-responsive Amani again.

This time, she let out a loud breath before dropping her intertwined fingers on the table, lifting her eyes from the handcuffs and fixing them on him, "Please Amani, you need to talk so we can get you out of here."

"I'm not talking until my lawyer is here." Voice brittle from all the crying.

Sadiq sighed, thankful she had called off her talking strike. Yet her words were more pressing than her silence. "You don't need a lawyer, you're innocent."

The confidence in Sadiq diminished at Amani's nonwavering grit. Replaced by his confidence was skepticism and squinted eyes, heart threatening to leap out of his chest. "Did..." he paused, a heavy feeling dropping at the pits of his stomach and he quickly shook his head while glancing at the mirror-at his uncle.

Sadiq's dilemma increased following his gape at Amani who maintained no body language, confounding him further and pushing spontaneous words out of him. "Did you do it?" He dared to ask, clasping his sweaty palms.

Amani straightened, raking Sadiq's distressed anatomy before clicking her tongue and looking away. "What if I did?"

Her monotone voice sent tingles over his skin. Reading Amani was something he was a beast at. Now, he doubted if all the signs he read off her were forged.

"What are you going to do about it?" She pushed, tilting her head to the side.

"Amani..."

"He deserved it, Sadiq," Amani said, stabbing a firm finger into the table and tugging the cuffs into her flesh- the pain a diminutive drop compared to her inner melancholy, "And I hope he is in the darkest pits of hell."

Sadiq's eyes went agape, his muscles stiffening and Amani's words echoing.

"Go home, Sadiq. And don't come back."

"Is that a breakup?" Sadiq's brows creased. The urge to scratch his dried throat was not half as rooted as the urge to hear answers. His voice lowered with each word. "Look at me." He begged, lifting and leaning into the table. His heart blocked his senses, drawing a blank space over the fact that they had listeners. "Nanu, please. Tell me you are not breaking up with me."

Amani was too anguished. Sadiq needed to go. She need not drag him into the series of tribulations inching and engulfing her life-he did not deserve it. Her voice failed to straighten. "You were always meant to leave me tormented, it's all men-"

"You and your obsession!" Sadiq could not help but bang the table, tears, and emotions clouding his view and judgment.

Amani barely flinched, she had seen it, finally; all men's true color; violence, aggression. Although her built-in rage had sailed, she kept a calm poise, her voice wobbly and low. "Yeah, me and my truth."

Sadiq must've realized he howled either by the knock on the observation glass or by dropping his head and massaging the bridge of his nose. Either way, he lowered into the seat, dropping his face into his palms and muttering supplications.

Who was this? Who was he looking at?

This could not be the end. The beginning had not even begun.

"You promised me-"

"Get over it!" Amani exclaimed, "People do that. That man promised to love my mother and died making sure he did the opposite. You sh-" she paused, glancing at the sound of footsteps. "My mind tells me my lawyer is here. About damn time."

The door was pushed open by a dark man in black, aging in his forties with a suitcase clenched between his left fingers. His specs roamed the room before he stepped in with a smile, gesturing a hand to a cop to follow.

"Detective," he addressed Sadiq, "Has my client been treated well?" The man awaited no answer and stepped into the room before gesturing for the colleague to uncuff Amani, "My client has been released on preventive custody. House confinement, until you have evidence proving her a suspect..That'll be all, detec-"

"He is not the detective." Amani clarified, rubbing the bruised spot on her wrist.

"Who is this?" The counselor asked.

Amani retained her heart, scolding it for aching for her father and the man across her. They were the same, Sadiq was not different! And she needed to remember that and emphasized by fixing her eyes into Sadiq's, "No one."

"Good," the counselor stretched an arm to Amani for a handshake. "Your attorney, Michael Daniel. Call me Mike. Laura, appointed me to you."

How do we like the book so far? I'd kill to hear your thoughts so don't hesitate to share them.

Let the ride begin🙃