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Dearest gentle reader,

We all know the race for a proposal is the competition every lady is sought after. The most desperate measures will be encountered for the rare jewel, but it has come to my attention that not only a lady desires such. Viscount Bridgerton enlisted the help of Miss Elizabeth Windsor to acquire the hand of our diamond. But our future Duchess is no exception. Being certain of not finding a husband on her own, she also accepted the viscount's helping hand in securing her betrothal to the Duke of Edinburgh. This author wonders if this recent scandal will sour the march down the aisle, or if perhaps, a cease to these illicit matters would finally bring sincerity to the light.

Lady Whistledown, 1814

Humiliation was a rare experience Elizabeth encountered. In Paris, she was known as a wallflower and it kept her away from the fiercest of weeds. Staying in the shadows was much preferred as she would much rather watch her sisters delight themselves in their liberating lives. If she could have remained in her hidden bubble in London, there were no uncertainties of not having taken the opportunity, but her responsibilities transformed her from a wilting wallflower into a blossoming lilac.

After having read the latest Lady Whistledown during her stroll at Hyde Park, she suffered through the worst possible mock. Everyone stared at her as if she had committed the most atrocious crime. It seemed accepting the help of a gentleman, especially from someone as respected as Viscount Bridgerton, was the most treacherous of actions deemed worthy of ridiculing.

It didn't matter if her name was besmirched. She was still marrying the Duke, so all she concerned herself about was the possible prospect of having wrecked her sisters' future debut. Adelaide was set to be introduced next season and the thought of having ruined everything for her made her terrified and become consumed with guilt.

Not that Adelaide would mind considering how much she's made it clear on her desire to remain a spinster, but of course, Elizabeth knew life in society would change her mind.

As she sat by her window, she gazed into the gardens and counted every flower as a way to distract herself. She refused to cry about her troubles after having wasted so many tears these past months. Drowning in her self-pity would be the end of her, so it was only a matter until nightfall came and she forced herself to attend the Kingston ball.

Maybe then, the ton could see this scandal didn't have an effect or maybe seeing her with William would finally put a cease to this.

"Lizzie," Victoria stormed into her room, the latest issue of Lady Whistledown in hand. "Have you seen this?"

"Of course I did," she bluntly said, not bothering to feign any calm over her disastrous problem. "I read it during my morning stroll, where everyone could see me and laugh at my absurdity."

Victoria ripped the paper into a million pieces and tossed it into the flames. She ran her hands through her hair and paced around the room frustratedly. "How did this columnist find out? Only the Bridgertons, Sharmas, and us were there. I highly doubt the Duke would do such a thing since he is very much smitten with you, so who could have done this?"

Elizabeth shrugged as she took a seat at the edge of her bed. She wished to know who Lady Whistledown was and demand why she made her a public spectacle. It seemed cruel to reveal her secret, especially to a society that judges every little thing.

"It does not matter. Everyone knows, so there is no use dwelling on something we will never know."

Victoria sat next to her daughter and placed her arm around her shoulders. "Are you alright, dearest?"

Of course she wasn't, but she wouldn't admit to it. She needed to be strong and the picture of valor, so instead of admitting to her fret, she settled that perhaps she should start getting ready to face society at tonight's ball.

"I am, mama. This is just a scandal that will soon be forgotten once this columnist finds other gossip to report about," she forced a smile, but her mother didn't believe her in the slightest.

"It is alright to admit that you are not fine," Victoria caressed her cheek, noticing the distress trapped in her eyes. "There is no one here but us, so do not be afraid of expressing your emotions."

Elizabeth refused to contend with such feelings. Sulking in her chambers would be a waste of time and if the Duke was still willing to marry her after this scandal, she needed to finish the rest of the wedding preparations and move forward.

"You want to know what I'm thinking? Well, I feel like such a fool for having agreed to this agreement. I should have steered clear of the viscount and perhaps, this would not have happened at all," she rushed through her words, making sure to avoid looking into her mother's concerned face. "I was being unreasonable in thinking this would never be revealed. I mean, of course the ton would find out. The walls are thin, so obviously any of the guests might have heard."

"You were not being unreasonable," Victoria argued. "You accepted because you thought it was the right thing. I know you did it for us and I hate that you have placed so much upon your shoulders. I just- I wish that I could have done things differently. If I had not been so shattered after your father's passing, perhaps you would be marrying for love instead."

"Well, it is too late now," Elizabeth refused to dwell on the past, especially when the future for her family is looking brighter than ever. William still wanted to marry her after everything and knowing how honorable he is, she was certain her family would finally be secured after spending years in torment.

And that was all that mattered.

"It is not too late, Lizzie," Victoria's cryptic words brought a shiver down her spine. "If you were truly honest about your feelings, your future would be shining brighter than the sun. Think about it, dearest. You still have a few days, but now, you must get ready for the ball."

"I am not in the mood to attend."

"Neither am I, but if there is one thing I learned is that you should not hide in the familiar shadows. Might as well take advantage of the spotlight."

While Elizabeth wanted to avoid any social events, a sudden sense of bravery overcame her as she considered her mother's advice. Staying hidden in her imperfect bubble would make her appear like a coward and she refused to have anyone believe her as such.

Glancing to her bed, her burgundy dress was laid out neatly against the covers. Its glittering accents shone brighter than the moon, but the small tinge of color in them reminded her of Anthony's eyes. They were always burning with intensity and she hated how much her damned heart raced every time he looked at her. He made her feel so seen, so understood, and like he was the only person to know what she was thinking. He truly had a gift in silencing her to submission and while she despised it, she couldn't help but love it at the same time.

With a deep breath, Elizabeth got herself into her dress and adorned herself with the most bejeweling stones. If the ton was already speaking of her, she might as well give them more. If she was already placed into a scandal, perhaps dressing the part would be well suited.

Anything would be better than not basking under the spotlight.

__________________

Arriving at the Kingston Ball with her arm interlocked with William certainly brought more attention. Surprisingly, facing the ton wasn't as hard as she thought. If anything, it made her feel like such a fool for having considered staying home. Well, perhaps coming with her future husband helped, but in all honesty, she blamed it on the dress.

"I shall bring you a glass of lemonade," William squeezed her hand gently before heading to the refreshment's table, allowing the most judgmental blonde to make her way toward her.

"Well, well, Miss Windsor," Cressida Cowper stood in front of her with her usual conceited smile. "I did not expect you to attend, especially after your most recent scandal."

Frowning ever so slightly, Elizabeth was nearly tempted to just walk away and leave her deserted like everyone seemed to be doing already. "Hate to disappoint, Miss Cowper, but nothing will prevent me from enjoying a nice evening. Even more since I am here with my future husband. Surely, like you are as well." She paused for a second when noticing her expression fall. "Oh, that is right. You are not engaged yet. My apologies."

Cressida glared at her so heavily that her face was starting to turn a shade of red. "No need to apologize, Miss Windsor. I am still deciding on who I shall make my husband, so do not offer your pity for which I do not need."

"Is it really pity when it is simply an observation of the truth?" Elizabeth nonchalantly said, not bothering to spare her a glance. "I must advise you, if you wish to acquire a ring, perhaps you should spend less time antagonizing others and instead focus more on addressing your calamities."

Before any response could be offered, William arrived at the most opportune time. Holding two glasses of lemonade, he offered one to Elizabeth without noticing the tension between the two women. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"You have not," Elizabeth took the lemonade from his grasp and took a sip.

Cressida feigned a smile and shook her head, "None at all, Your Grace. I was simply congratulating Miss Windsor for your engagement."

"I appreciate your felicitations, Miss Cowper. If you could please excuse us," she locked her arm around his as both of them parted from the blonde's side. In all honesty, Elizabeth had been wanting to give her a handful after hearing all kinds of terrible stories from her sister. Even if they might not be on speaking terms, it doesn't mean she won't protect her anymore.

"Why do I feel like I interrupted a brawl?" he asked in a low voice, causing her to softly chuckle.

"She tried shaming me for my most recent scandal, so I mentioned her engagement."

He furrowed his brows in confusion, "But she is not engaged."

She nodded through a soft smirk, "My point, exactly."

William couldn't help being impressed considering many ladies always cowered upon Cressida's comments. It was refreshing having found someone willing to stand up for themselves and even more that they so happened to be the person he's marrying.

The hall suddenly turned quieter, causing the quartet to be the only sound remaining. Elizabeth instinctively searched for the instigator and nearly lost her breath when noticing Anthony arriving with his family. While she knew neither could say a word to each other without risking worsening this scandal, she was tempted to break all the rules for the sake of hearing his voice.

"Miss Windsor," a voice from behind her disrupted her attention.

She glanced past her shoulder and found Penelope holding a semi-full glass of lemonade. She was wearing her usual yellow dress and appeared to be guilt ridden about something, which caused her to avoid staring into her eyes, only making Elizabeth wonder what had occurred.

"Nonsense, Pen. Just call me Lizzie," she told her and Penelope finally glanced up at her. "Is everything alright? You seem rather worried."

"I just wanted to apologize," Penelope blurted out, taking her by surprise.

"Apologize for what?"

There was a pause and a mixture of contemplation and regret in her expression, almost like she longed to say something, but knew better than to do so. "I- I just read the latest issue."

Elizabeth frowned at the reminder, "Oh. Well, yes, it certainly left a bitter taste, but why are you apologizing? It's not like you wrote it."

Penelope shook her head, a nervous smile rising from her lips. "No, of course not. I just- I feel terrible for the scandal it brought. It should not have been written and I am terribly sorry that this happened."

"Lady Whistledown should be the one apologizing, but it's not like her publication cost me anything," Elizabeth looked over at her future husband, who was conversing with Lady Danbury. "I am still to be wed, so her attempts at destroying me were rendered useless."

"Good," Penelope said, a slight change in her tone becoming noticeable. "I am glad. I would hate for this to have wrecked anything."

"It did not, so no need to worry," she sighed heavily, a sudden weight falling upon her shoulders when realizing the days to the wedding were getting closer. With everything that's happened, she lost track of time and forgot the dreaded nuptials were occurring in such a short span.

Elizabeth reached for a glass of champagne and downed the contents in a giant gulp, hoping the bitter drink would make this night tolerable. She tried to prevent looking in Anthony's direction, but it was getting harder wanting to avoid doing so when she always found him looking back at her.

"You and the viscount seem to be fond of each other," Penelope suddenly said and she nearly choked on her drink.

"What do you mean by that?" Elizabeth's voice got a few octaves higher, which definitely revealed the weight this question had brought.

"Well, only those who are fond of each other help the other in finding a match," Penelope pointed out, but her lingering gaze was starting to set on Colin Bridgerton. "Only friends are able to offer that kindness."

"Of course. Friends," Elizabeth dwelled on that last word, her heart aching with longing as she admired the moonlight's reflection falling on Anthony's perfect features.

From the opposite side, Anthony was magnified by her attention. It was challenging not being able to speak to her or stare into those beautiful and captivating brown eyes. She looked ravishing, like the most exquisite woman to have ever roamed this earth, and he couldn't prevent feeling unworthy of such perfection.

God, how could someone be so beautiful?

As expected, Violet couldn't be prevented from noticing. She glanced in between him and Elizabeth, not knowing what more could be done to bring the truth to unfold. In all honesty, she wondered if Victoria was also experiencing such a challenge in getting her daughter to admit to her feelings, but that was something that could be discussed later this evening.

"I cannot believe Lizzie is marrying soon," Eloise complained, frowning at having lost a friend to marriage. "And that she has to leave for Edinburgh, which means no proper conversation would ever occur again."

Colin rolled his eyes, "You do realize letters exist. Just because she is moving elsewhere, it does not signify the end."

"Letters are not enough," Eloise folded her arms across her chest, but when noticing a gentleman approaching her, she wasted no time in shielding herself behind her brother. "Perhaps I should ask her if I could accompany her. Maybe then, I would be spared from such an unthinkable fate."

An unthinkable fate.

Anthony scoffed at the three words as he remembered having described a forced marriage between him and Elizabeth as such. Now, he was truly loathing the universe for having sent Daphne into the library and not another member from the ton. Perhaps Portia Featherington. Maybe then, he would be marrying her instead of the diamond, but of course, that meant allowing his heart to soar the skies.

Something he was unwilling to do.

"Perhaps you should travel with her," Colin suggested and Anthony gaped at him like he had said the most absurd thing.

"Perhaps she should not," he blurted out, causing his siblings and mother to gape at him curiously.

"And why not?" Eloise argued, narrowing her eyes in disbelief. "What could you possibly need me here for? And do not say to find me a husband, because I will lose it."

If Eloise were to ask to accompany Elizabeth to Edinburgh, it was obvious she would accept. It's not in Elizabeth's nature to abandon those she cares about, but that would mean continuing to have her in his life. Regardless if he's married to Edwina by then, that thorn would remain insisting on destroying his perfect garden.

"Mother needs you here," Anthony simply said as he averted his gaze to avoid their dreadful looks. "You cannot go off traveling just because you please."

Eloise scoffed, "Oh, but Colin can?"

"Why am I being brought into this?" Colin was nearly offended as he refused to be a part of this soon-to-be argument between them.

"It is not fair that he can travel while I can't. I am certain Lizzie would appreciate the company," Eloise insisted. "Perhaps I should ask her now. I know she would love to have me."

"The answer is no," Anthony firmly declared, but lost all sense of perception when noticing Elizabeth was no longer in the room. She wasn't dancing or standing by the refreshment's table. She was gone, like she vanished from the face of the earth.

Without thinking, he left his family's side and went to the first place he could think of, which was the garden. She loved being alone and since the garden nearly resembled a maze, he knew it would be the place he could find her in. It sure helped that it was private, which would allow him to get a word in and ask about her well being after everything.

Sure enough, Elizabeth was standing right in front of the greenery. The wind was blowing gently, allowing him to get a whiff of that mesmerizing aroma of hers that's become imprinted into his mind, body, and soul. She looked remarkably exquisite in her burgundy gown and its glittering accents almost appeared as if the stars were trapped in them. Just standing in close proximity was tempting him to lose all sense of his honor, especially since there was no one around.

"Elizabeth," he called out.

For a second, she wondered if she was growing mad. It certainly can't be him, because why would he risk another scandal just to see her?

Her breath hitched as she willed herself to turn around. As if her dreams and nightmares had come to life, there he was standing before her like a gift sent from both heaven and hell. "What are you doing here? I thought we would not be speaking to each other again."

Anthony was quiet for a quarter of a second, "I needed to make sure you were alright. What Lady Whistledown printed, it never should have happened and I would hate if I ruined anything for you-"

"You did not ruin anything," she interrupted as she tried forcing herself to look away, but he was the gravity that kept her trapped. "Have you not heard? The Duke and I are still to be wed. Our agreement left no mark on our engagement, so you can stop worrying since there is no need for you to do so."

"I cannot," he softly said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It seems we are still going to be involved in each other's lives. I- I know it could be a mistake, but perhaps we should try to be... friends."

"Friends?" Elizabeth scoffed in disbelief, a wry laugh escaping her lips. "I have no desire to be friends with you. After everything that transpired between us, friendship would be the greatest and most fatal mistake. Not to mention inappropriate."

Anthony knew she was right, but his rationality was failing him to notice the severity of his suggestion. Maybe it was his approaching wedding or the fact that hers was days after his, but for the first time, he was tempted to burn the world down if it meant being by her side.

"Do not fret, Anthony. I shall be very happy, indeed," she continued. "I will be marrying a kind and charming gentleman. He is certain of what he wants, so I know he will make an exceptional father one day."

Anthony felt a shatter in his heart as he imagined her having children with someone else. He knew how much of a hypocrite he was, but these feelings lingered as if a tortured spirit had found its way into him, refusing to liberate him from this perdition.

"Are you certain he will make you happy?" he asked, afraid of what her response would be.

She swallowed hard, but chose to turn the question back to him, "Are you certain she will make you happy?"

"Answer the question first," Anthony walked forward and she was nearly tempted to take a step back. "Is the Duke the right man for you?"

Elizabeth became infuriated by him questioning her choice. She was perfectly content with her imminent marriage, but admitting it out loud felt like the worst possible crime. Still, it didn't mean she would admit to the truth. "Of course he is. It is the reason I accepted his proposal."

He clenched his jaw at her words, but deep inside knew they were anything but the truth. Her eyes told a different story and while he knew this was forbidden, he couldn't help but want to dwell on the possibility of what they could have been.

"Your turn," she breathed out. "Answer the question."

Of course he wasn't certain of his happiness he could have with Edwina. Every hour, every day, every month, and every year, he will always call out Elizabeth's name. She will inhabit his dreams, quiet his everlasting demons, and paint the sunset with her colors. His thoughts of her will never end and it frightened him to have become a bearer of such feelings.

"She is the right woman for me. It is the reason I asked her to marry me," he forced himself to say as he threw her own words back to her.

Elizabeth wilted at his response like a parched lilac would under the burning sun. It destroyed her hearing this, but it was also something she needed to hear. Both of them were marrying the right people, so dwelling on the improbable would only offer more pain than ease.

With a heavy heart, she took a step back closer to the garden. "Very well. Then we should agree that this will be the last time we ever have an encounter as such. We will be married soon, so it is time we act like it."

Anthony knew it was the right thing, but the mere thought of never seeing her again was unfathomable to imagine. He contemplated his decision, but when seeing the settlement in her eyes, he had no other choice than to agree. "Fine. We shall move past this and perhaps with time, we will finally be liberated from this feeling between us."

Elizabeth didn't want to see him any longer. It was painful standing so close to him yet also being so far apart. She started walking past him, but suddenly felt his hand brushing against hers. Shivers ran down her spine and emitted goosebumps to trail down her skin, causing her to remain still as if a spell had been casted.

She longed to remain trapped in this imperfect moment of theirs. It brought her a sense of safety, solace, joy, and passion. For the first time, she felt like she belonged and it vexed her that it only happened when she was by his side.

"Goodbye, Anthony," she whispered, allowing herself to hold his hand one last time before parting and heading back into the hall.

Anthony remained still, his gaze following her silhouette in defeat. He reached for her touch in hopes of getting one last graze of the sun, but he was received by the cold winter. An emptiness that consumed him from the inside out and grew with every minute of her absence.

His voice was tremulous and low when he said, "Goodbye, Elizabeth."

Author's Note

Hey, everyone! Hope you're doing good!
Late update, but just had get a new chapter out!

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