—St. Vincent's Hospital, year 2026—

I always hated hospitals.

They always gave me this eerie feeling once I stepped foot inside them. A feeling I could not explain but enough to make me uncomfortable whenever I was in one. It could be from the air flowing within it, how they would always be filled with scents of disinfectants, antibiotics, and sometimes soap. Or perhaps the sound of whisperings; either from those who were sitting in the waiting lobbies, or those who were sitting on wheelchairs waiting for their treatments, or even the doctors and nurses who were having meetings in groups on hallways. It might also be the white marble floors, and the echoing sound made by rushed footsteps. Everything about hospitals which I despised, which then became the reason why I always stayed far away from them.

Yet there I was one eventful day, sitting in the waiting lobby, surrounded by patients of all likes—some dozing to sleep, some coughing their lungs out, some looking around anxiously just like I was—each and everyone was there waiting for our turn to meet our doctors and to finally hear the news of our fate.

All the back pains, all the headaches, and the lack of energy I had been feeling in my body for the last few weeks had become too unbearable. I even began to suffocate on cold nights, constantly feeling a burning pain in my lungs and shooting aches on my joints or bones whenever I tried to sleep. After weeks of trying my best to find my own cure, I finally surrendered and went out to get a medical check to find out if there was something wrong with my body.

It was only five days ago when I last came into this hospital for my medical checkups and tests, after going through them for three days in a row. And I returned today only to get my test results. I came in without knowing what I hoped to hear, only waiting to know what the tests would say and how they would help me cure myself.

There was not a hint of negative thoughts in my mind when they called my name from the waiting list. I was sure enough that it would be impossible for things to get even worse than what I had overcome before. I was wrong.

What came next was far than what I had prepared for.

A mass. A presumed mass, as they called it, was found through the tests which I had taken.

My eyes were plastered straight at the X-ray photographs that were shown on the computer placed on the desk in front of me. No words came out of me as I did my best to keep listening to the doctor as he explained everything to me, pointing at some parts on the photos and the listed information he had in his data.

"As you can see, these spots are spread around your spinal column. You did tell me before that you once had an accident, Mrs. Jeon?"

"Uh—yes, I did," I told him. "I was injured on my back, but it was a long time ago, Doctor."

"Even so, perhaps these spots are the remaining injuries that were left behind from them. But they could also be bruisings on the muscles around your spinal column, or masses building up around it that are just starting to feel painful after not being treated properly," he explained to me, being prudent and careful not to shock me or terrified me with his news. "It'll help to identify them better by taking 3D X-ray photo of this part of your body, to confirm it. Will that be okay?"

"When should I take it?"

"The sooner the better," he said. "If we can identify them as soon as possible, and they turn out to be indeed a growing mass instead of bruisings, then we can start treating it early before it spreads."

I bit my lips, taking a deep breath as I tried to let his words sink in. "Is it safe for me to get an X-ray so soon?"

"It should be. The radiation is still under the safety limit, and it is an urgent matter, so it would be best to—"

"How urgent?"

He looked at me straight through my eyes. A pursed smile appeared on his face before he answered, "Mrs. Jeon, I don't want to make you worry, since this is still too early to classify them without going through some more tests. After the object is identified as a mass through the X-ray photos, we need to do a biopsy before we can distinguish them properly and classify them either as harmless masses, or malignancy."

"Malignancy? Do you mean—Cancer?" My voice came out as whispers, as if the air in my lungs was abruptly taken.

He lightly nodded his head after contemplating his answers. He took a moment to wait until I respond. When I gave him nothing, he merely took a deep breath and he calmly stated, "I'm afraid that is the worst possible scenario that we might have to prepare ourselves to face."

I turned my eyes to look at the black and white photos still being shown on the screen, the suspicious objects that were shown in forms of little spots scattered at the center of the photo became more apparent to my eyes. I looked at them more closely without saying anything, still unable to decide whether to look at them as my death sentence, or a way out.

"Forgive me, Mrs. Jeon. It is apparent that evidence of malignancy was found after the biopsy."

There it was, the verdict was finally out.

Anyone probably would have thought that the moment they were given the news of their possible demise, they would start to feel tons of emotions. Let it be fear or shock, or perhaps anger. In my case, there weren't any. I felt too numb to react, too distracted to express my thoughts, so I just sat there and kept staring at the doctor's eyes while he continued his explanations.

His eyes were full of remorse, having to inform me such a terrible news. And his speech was careful, as if afraid that he might seem heartless as he spoke, or perhaps he was also afraid that I might have gotten into shock after being silent. Meanwhile, my mind was too busy wandering around and thinking of random things instead.

How long has he been doing this?

How many times has he been forced to tell people that there is a possibility that the person is dying?

What could possibly go on in his mind when he does these things?

Does he feel anything?

What would he do if I suddenly cry in front of him?

The sound of a click coming from a pen brought my attention back. "You will be assigned to another doctor, since you will have to be treated professionally and I, for certain, am not a medical oncologist," he said while writing down on his notes, glancing up my way a few times to make sure I was still paying attention to him. "I am assigning you to my dear friend Doctor Kim, who is an expert on oncology in this hospital. I will stay by your side as well to keep up with your condition and any progress you will be having once the treatments start. Will that be alright?"

"Y-yes, of course, Doctor," I told him, only realizing then that my fingers had been gripping tightly on the purse I had on my lap. "When do I get to see him?"

Once he finished writing, he ripped off the piece of paper from his notes and placed them inside an envelope before handing it to me. "The sooner the better. I will arrange for an appointment so we can see him together. Will tomorrow noon be alright? You can hold on to this letter to hand him, just in case I won't make it to your first meeting with him."

I took the letter, studied the words that were scribbled on the front side of the envelope before placing them in my purse. "Of course, tomorrow will be perfect."

I shifted in my seat. My hands could not stop tugging on the edge of my purse, while my eyes kept scanning around the room. I had been waiting for a while, but I was more anxious about actually meeting and talking to the doctor rather than having to wait in a strange room all by myself.

Rushed footsteps broke the silence, and a young looking doctor sat down on the chair across the desk.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, Mrs. Jeon," he said with a smile on his face, while fixing his coat as he sat down. "I just came back from collecting your test results from the lab."

"That's alright, Doctor," I told him, trying my best to keep myself together by controlling my breath.

He placed one folder on the table, opening them to look at the files which he carried with him. He took a few minutes studying each and one of them while I kept my eyes on him, studying his features and his gestures as he had all of his attention on his files to distract myself.

"So, do you have the reference letter Doctor Lee gave you?" He asked me, suddenly lifting his face, startling me as I was still silently staring at him.

"O-of course." I opened my purse and handed him the letter, nervously looking around to avoid his gaze. "Is he not coming today?"

"Thank you," he smiled, taking the letter and opening them carefully. "Unfortunately, his schedule is pretty packed for the day. He has a long list of patients to handle so he can't join us. But I will report everything to him so he can keep up with everything, don't you worry."

I gave him a pursed smile as an answer. I have been seeing the previous doctor for quite a while so I was more comfortable talking to him. The thought of having to let a total stranger examining me had given me anxiety, yet it was lifted the moment I knew Doctor Lee would still be around to help me.

"Won't Mr. Jeon be joining us today?" He asked me once he finished reading the letter, smiling at me while folding the letter back into its envelope. He only looked away as he placed them inside his folder.

I slowly shook my head when he looked up, anticipating my response. "No, he's not."

He doesn't even know I'm here.

"That's alright. All we're going to do today is delve into the basics first, and discuss the options of treatments you're going to have. We can invite your husband anytime he is available, and I will give you notes and booklets so you can share all the information with him once you meet him at home."

He continued explaining to me everything he had found from my data for the next hour, listing all of the things that were found through the numerous health checks I went through and all the treatments available. I took them all in half-heartedly, distracting me once more by looking at his features rather than paying attention to the words he was saying or to the photos he was showing me.

I watched how his hair fell off in front of his face, how his lips moved as he spoke. His long fingers pointing at the notes he was showing me, and how his eyes watched me attentively to make sure I was taking all the news well.

"...would be a long journey, but with the proper treatment, we can stop them from developing into an advanced stage. Any questions?" I was slowly drifting back into listening to him once again, just in time for him to finish talking, having lost in my thoughts for too long.

"Do I have to stay in the hospital during it all?" I finally asked him, covering the fact on how distracted I have been.

He smiled. "No, Mrs. Jeon. At this stage, we can arrange for you to only come into the hospital during the treatments. It is pretty safe to say that you won't be needing intensive treatments yet since you are at the stage where this malignancy is far from damaging your body. But we still need to know how fast it'll progress, and to study its growth. So, even if you won't be staying here that long, you might have to come here regularly to be tested while taking the treatments."

I nodded my head to agree.

"I will prescribe you with some medications and vitamins to prepare your body for the upcoming procedures. It might also help to reduce the growth and the spreading of the mass, which will give us enough time to subdue it before things get any serious," he said, pulling out a prescription book where he then wrote down some of the things I should get from the pharmacy before heading back home. "I will also provide you with some booklets which contain information you need about all of the stages and steps you will have to go through so you can learn more about them at home. Perhaps you can also show them to your family to help them understand everything so they can support you well. Your husband and children's support will—"

"No children," I cut him off. "There are no children present. Um—not yet, that is."

He looked at me with a foreign look on his eyes, immediately replacing them with a smile right before I turned to look away. "I'm sorry. Your husband, then. His support will help you a lot during the whole thing."

I'm sure it will. "Thank you, Doctor."

One hour later, I found myself sitting inside my own car in silence, staring at the booklets that the doctor had given me earlier. Each one of them held all the information on my medication, my treatment, my illness. And then I looked at the pack filled with different kind of pills I needed to take for the next week until my next appointment.

They were needed to prepare my body and give me the strength to endure the tough treatments, the doctor had told me. I recalled everything he told me, how with all the support I could get and with my own will to fight, I would be able to defeat this cancer. This illness that was slowly growing inside me before it took over.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to look deep inside my heart and find any determination inside me that would push me through into fighting and surviving.

I opened my eyes when I found none of them existed.