(Taehyung's POV)

Song Companion: Teflon Sega - No Turning Back

—First life, year 2005—

My parents loved to take me on car rides ever since I was a little boy.

They had always said it was one of the easiest ways they had found that could calm me down from what they called as 'one of my moods'—whatever that meant.

In a way, car rides had always felt comforting. It was better to be stuck in a car instead of staying at home, where it felt stuffy and lonely, even if my parents would only drive around the neighbourhood instead of taking me anywhere far. It was still better because looking out the car window allowed me to see everything—the trees we passed by, the land around us and the mountains in the distance—and they were all still better to look at compared to the sight that I could see out my bedroom window. Nothing but the neighbours' rusty walls and the empty lot behind our house that neighbourhood kids would use to hang out at. Sometimes, my parents would even drive all the way to the next town. Or even further to the next, in which we would stay a bit longer at instead of heading back to where we had taken off from earlier that same morning.

It wasn't until when I was a bit older when I finally understood what it had truly meant to be driving so far and why my parents would pack up various boxes when we were off to travel somewhere. That sometimes when my father said, "Let's go for a drive," it would not always mean that he was talking about driving around the neighbourhood to go sightseeing.

Sometimes, I would pay enough attention to notice when we were not going to return to the same home once the drive ended. Just like how this car ride had felt different compared to the last times I sat there in the backseat of my Dad's car.

Looking out the window, I immediately knew that this was not one of those rides where my father would be driving me around the block or down to the rice fields and farmlands around where we lived at the time. I already knew which kind of drive this was when it had included my Mom packing most of our things into the car and when I could see the moving truck following us close behind when I looked over the rear window.

It had been a while since we had gotten on a long trip that I thought we would never be taking off again. We had left before the sunrise, and hours had passed but we were still going, passing the villages and small towns, then the long highway. We only stopped a few times to eat and to use the bathroom. Sometimes I would fall asleep and wake up at a new place, but it seemed like we would be on the road for a long time.

I kept my eyes out on the road with my head pressed against the car window, watching the trees flashing by, the old houses and the stores turning into hills before we were passing through more buildings. Then I must have dozed off a bit longer at some point because it was almost dark when we finally stopped.

Really stopped.

I jumped on my seat when the sound of the car doors opening and closing woke me up, then I looked around to see that my Dad had parked the car in front of a house.

"We're here!" I heard my Mom said, opening the backseat's door to get me. "Come on, Tae. Let's take a look at the new house."

I was still feeling sleepy when I finally stepped out of the car. My legs were heavy and my back was hurting, but I followed my Mom as she walked around the car, rubbing my eyes all the way down from the car. I stopped before we could step onto the porch, looking at the house that looked old, but a lot bigger than the one we used to live in. The walls were made of red bricks, and we had a front yard too with green grass on it, unlike the dry patches we had at the old house.

"Taehyung, come in. Let me show you your new room," I heard my Mom calling me from the front door. I took one last look at the house before I ran to her, excited and scared at the same time as I walked up the porch and followed her into the house.

Our new home.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going on a playdate."

We had been in this new town for a week. My Dad had been busy with his new job, but both me and my Mom had been staying home, unpacking all the boxes and cleaning up the new house. The only times I had seen my Mom not doing anything at the house was when a few neighbours came to visit or when she went out to do some groceries. This was the first time she finally took me out. Her hand was holding mine as we walked side by side on the sidewalk, heading somewhere at the end of the street.

"A what?"

"A playdate."

"What's that?"

My Mom reached out to brush my hair with her fingers while she kept the other hand still holding mine. Both of us knew that whatever she did on my hair wouldn't help much and I would probably get them all messy again in a minute, but maybe she needed to keep herself busy because she seemed more nervous than I was and maybe she figured she could try to keep my hair look tidy and decent before we got to where she wanted us to go to.

"It means you get to play with a new friend while I get to know our new neighbours," she said, looking almost distractedly when she spoke. I looked up and that was when I confirmed how nervous she was. Back at our old home, we rarely became friends with the neighbours living close by. Most of the people we knew were older people, and some of my Mom's friends lived a bit far from home, making it hard for her to see them regularly. "You're going to start school in a week, and yesterday, Mrs Jung from down the street told me that her children are going to the same school as you are. She invited us to visit so that you can get to know them and make friends with them so you can have someone to play with."

"I had friends," I said, scrunching my nose. It made my Mom stop, and she kneeled down next to me with a rueful smile.

"I know, honey," she said, sighing, once again reaching up to brush my hair back again after a breeze made a few strands fall over my face. "I know that it sucks to move away again, but I promise you, you can have many new friends and a lot of fun. Just like how we used to."

Mom gave me another smile before she stood back up, already continuing the walk. I said nothing as I walked with her, not even to explain that it wasn't just about making new friends that I was worried about. "Why did we move here?"

"We told you. Your Dad got a new job here," she said to me while glancing sideways at me.

"What's wrong with the old one?"

This time, my Mom laughed a little. "Nothing wrong with that one," she sneered, sighing the same way she would when she was trying not to get angry. I remembered how she kept telling my Dad how much she hated his old job. Because he went away a lot and he was always tired and cranky whenever he came home from work. "Your Dad got himself a better job in this town and there was no way we could have stayed in that old town we lived in. He won't be away too much now like he did when he was working in that factory since he's going to be sitting behind the desk more. Our house is also bigger, isn't it? And the school is going to be better."

My Mom was getting more excited the more she spoke, and all I did was give her a nod. "Okay."

Soon, we were standing on the front porch of a house that looked a bit similar to our new house. Except that the front yard had more bushes and flowers and the grass was trimmed and looked fresh, unlike the ones we had in ours, and the walls were painted white. The door was opened only a few minutes after my Mom rang the bell and a woman appeared to welcome us. She looked about the same age as Mom, with a wide smile that looked friendly and it made me feel less nervous about being here. They chatted for a moment before the woman turned to me.

"And this must be Taehyung. Oh, it looks like you're about the same age as my kids. I heard that you're going to be at the same school with them, so I hope you kids can be good friends. My son is a bit older, but I think you can get along with him just fine. I know that boys can have a hard time getting along with girls, though I have no doubt that you can get along with my daughter. She's always good at adjusting to new friends, even if she's a bit younger. She skipped a year and got into school early because she got bored in kindergarten."

We walked in with my Mom still holding my hand. I was not completely sure if she was doing that to stop me from running or if she was still nervous about being here. Meanwhile, Mrs Jung continued to talk about her children as she led us all the way to the back of the house.

"Here we are," Mrs Jung said as we entered the dining room. There was a girl who looked a bit younger than me sitting at the dining table while drawing with crayons, and Mrs Jung immediately called for her attention. "Honey, come here. We have a new friend. Maybe you want to say hi and play with him for a while while I have a chat with Mrs Kim?"

The girl looked up to us and jumped out of her chair. She didn't even seem nervous when she was walking over to us. I couldn't remember having any girl as a friend in my old school. Most of them had always stayed away from the boys at school and I had no trouble doing the same. But when she came to me, she showed no sign of turning away or looking at me funny just like other girls did.

All she did was look at me with wide curious eyes, and it really felt like we had known each other already when she raised her hand to me. "Hi, my name is _________. What's yours?"

School started a few months ago. Overall, I thought it was okay.

Everything was different compared to my old school. Just like everything else in this town compared to the small town we moved out from, the school was much bigger than the one I went to. Most of the students in my class had already formed their groups—another thing that the old school certainly did not have, because, with smaller classes, nobody had any problem getting close to each other. I still made a few friends, though. Not a lot, but it wasn't like I really needed a lot of friends either.

It was lunchtime when I sat at the edge of the playground, eating the sandwich and handmade kimbab that my Mom made for me. I was glad not to be sitting alone, as I had my new friend sitting beside me. The playdate that my Mom took me to after we moved here had turned out to be a lot of fun. ________ was fun to play with and we would have continued playing on that first day we met if only my Mom didn't come to call me in for dinner.

After that day, we had gone into a couple more playdates before school started. I was also introduced to her brother, Hoseok, and the three of us would play and hang out together whenever my Mom would take me to visit their house on the weekends. At school, _____ and I shared the same class, and although we didn't sit together in class, we would always eat together at lunchtime.

"Why aren't you playing with them?" she asked me while we were watching the boys from our class playing dodge ball in the playground.

I only shrugged after looking over to the field, watching them throwing the ball at each other. "I don't play ball."

She snickered. "Yeah, you do. You played ball with Hoseok last week," she argued, her brows were pinched the same way she would when she grew curious or annoyed.

I scrunched my nose at her. "That's different. That was football," I told her, and she shrugged at me in return.

"Still a ball," she sassed while rolling her eyes at me.

"Whatever," I said. "Besides, I don't really get along with the boys from our class."

"So you're more okay sitting with a girl," she said, more like making a statement instead of questioning me.

"What's wrong with that?"

She looked away for a moment. "I don't know. The other boys seem to make it a big deal."

"That's silly," I scoffed at her. I didn't really care about what people think. It never mattered to me anyway because I didn't even care about what they did around me either. And I never liked forcing myself to get along with people that didn't like me. "Besides, I like you better."

She suddenly laughed when she heard me. It was the kind of laugh that made her head fall back, which was actually pretty adorable. "I thought you like my brother a lot more."

Grinning at her, I just shrugged and bit my sandwich. "So I like both you and Hoseok. Playing with you and your brother is more fun."

"Right. Of course, it is," she said, giggling while nudging at my side. "You're okay if people think you're weird for hanging out with me instead of the boys?"

"I don't care," I told her, shaking my head. "How about you?"

______ looked around before smiling at me and said, "Me neither."

We continued to eat for a moment before I thought of something. "What if you're my girlfriend?"

"What?"

I shrugged, but kept my eyes away from her. "Maybe if we become boyfriend and girlfriend it won't look weird for us to sit together like this."

She had her nose scrunched when I took a glance at her. "Kids don't become boyfriends and girlfriends."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, they do. You just don't know about it yet."

She pinched her brows again, thinking seriously about it. "Is it because you're older than everyone else in class?"

"What do you mean?"

"My Mom said that you were supposed to be one grade above me, not share the same class," she said. Despite what she just told me, she just didn't realise that she always sounded like an older girl when she spoke like that. "Is that why everyone looks at you weird sometimes?"

I didn't say a thing. She was not wrong, though. With my parents moving so much and having to change schools each time it happened, it was hard for me to catch up with classes. After constantly going to new places, making new friends, new adjustments, then the last school I went to insisted that I stayed a year behind to catch up on what I had missed. "I don't know. Maybe. I don't really care," I said. And I really didn't. After a while, I had stopped caring about all the moving and what it did. But some kids always made it a big deal when this older kid joined their class in the middle of the term. Not at the previous school I went to, though. They seemed to think I was cool because I knew a lot more than they did.

"Do you care if I'm older?" I asked her.

I had expected her to at least consider her answer for a moment, but all she said was, "No, I like having older friends." Then she scrunched her nose as if she had just realised something. "But not too old. Hoseok's friends are weird."

A bite of the sandwich almost got caught in my throat when I laughed. After swallowing it down with the cold juice I brought with me from home, I turned to her and grinned. "Fine, if you don't want to be my girlfriend, then—" I cleared my throat and offered her my pinky finger. That was one of the things I learned from her since we became friends, and I figured it would be the best option to gain her approval when I made the offer, "How about best friends?"

Her smile grew. She seemed confused at first, but she managed to realise that I was serious and gave me her pinky to link it to mine. "The bestest friends!"

I snickered. "That's not even a word!"

"It is now!"

—First life, year 2017—

There was something about being in the library that I enjoyed most.

The calm and serene air. The scent of books. Then there was some kind of warmth that I couldn't find anywhere else whenever I was there.

It was fall, and the library had been pretty much packed with students that were trying to catch up with readings and assignments as the midterm was coming closer. Sitting among the students, I had chosen a reading booth on the far corner of the library, and I had my best friend, _______, sitting with me. She wasn't too big on libraries. She never even truly cared about studying either. But after wasting her freshman year partying and enjoying life on campus, and then getting too focused on her relationship with the prick from one of the campus' frat house all through sophomore year, she needed to catch up a lot on her studying and I was the one responsible in making sure that she did.

But that day, our agenda was not only about getting her to finish reading her textbooks or finding the materials needed for our midterms.

That day, we were scouting.

"That's him," I pointed out across the room just as he passed by, and _____ perked up, her gaze following the direction where I was pointing at until she saw him. I only knew she did when her eyes grow wide with a hint of amusement and appreciation. He really did have that kind of effect on people, whether it was male or female. "His name is Kim Namjoon. A senior of mine on my social study class," I explained to her, mentioning the class I had taken last semester for my minor.

"Wow—you do have a taste there. He's hot," she said as she leaned closer, whispering to me while giving him another look. "—and a bit too handsome as someone who is going to be cutting through people's brains," she also added.

I snickered. "Yeah, right," I said, rolling my eyes. "I thought you like pretty boys better." I said that because compared to the guy she was dating, Namjoon was the complete opposite. Jungkook was good looking, hence the popularity he had gained all through college. With the kind of smile that girls found cute and a pair of doe eyes that would always make it hard for my best friend to say no to. But Namjoon was tall, with broad shoulders and nice-looking hair. His sharp gaze showed just how smart he was and there was this confidence that he had that could make people look up to him in awe.

The same way I did ever since the first day I met him.

He didn't seem to work out a lot, but his arms still looked like a tight fit beneath the sleeves of his sweater. And then there were those dimples, that would always show up each time he smiled, making people swoon for him without him trying too much.

"I still have eyes and I can still admit it when I see a handsome man," I heard her say, before she turned to me. Sure enough, she caught me just as I was looking at Namjoon, again, more appreciatively.

"What?" I looked at her with a frown when she seemed to be looking at me too closely. "Don't look at me like that," I whispered at her, but then I noticed the funny looking gleam in her eyes, as if she was seeing something intriguing while looking at me. And whatever she saw seemed to please her. "As a matter of fact, why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know, I just—" She shrugged. "I'm happy whenever you are happy, Taehyung."

Narrowing my eyes on her, I studied her face, trying to understand just where this was leading to. My suspicion was answered when I saw a hint of guilt in her eyes in place of the curiosity and mischief that she had earlier. "You're still thinking about my stupid confession, are you?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not stupid. It never was and it never is."

"It was childish."

"There is nothing childish with love."

I scoffed. "It would be when I was a 10-year-old thinking that I was falling in love with my best friend," I told her, lowering my voice and making a sneer as I said this.

Many years ago, when I was only a 10-year-old boy trying to adjust to a new life in the big town and getting into a new school, I had jokingly asked her to be my girlfriend and she had told me no. But then we got even closer after we decided to be best friends and spent more time together, and I started to feel things. All fuzzy feelings that I had seen in the movies or TV shows as something that was called a crush, or perhaps love, where I would feel all tingly inside whenever she was near. So I asked her to be my girlfriend. Again. And then again. Having my request rejected each time because she only wanted to be my friend and she hated to think that she could lose her best friend if she should ever say yes.

That, and also because we were both kids who knew nothing about crushes and love and heartbreaks.

"Taehyung—"

Sighing dramatically, I placed a hand over my chest and acted like I was hurting and I told her, "It wasn't your fault either that I got my heart broken so early in life. But I'll never break my promise about staying with you as a friend and take care of you."

My theatrics had her giggling, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I just hate that she would overthink things sometimes, even when she remembered that period in life. As if she was responsible for how I had turned out to be. It had taken her a little while to be able to cope with it. Not because she couldn't accept me for who I was, but only because she had been terribly concerned about me after I had told her the truth.

"I know you won't, and I promise to be in your life as your best friend for as long as you need me," she told me, giving me a small smile which I returned with my own when I knew how true her words were. How she had proven it many times before, especially during the period of time I had needed her support the most.

I could easily recall how she had been by my side when I came out about my—'preferences'.

It all happened not too long before we graduated high school, and I was outed by force by someone who I had once grown close to, who I had trusted enough to confide in and let them know about my secrets. But then things fell south when it was clear that my 'friend' couldn't stomach the idea that I was interested in both male and female, and that I had dated both all through high school. My best friend, ______, was the one who stood by me, to accept me for everything that I was and had fought together with me tooth and nail. She had opposed to the idea of me telling people about it openly, preferring that I would just stay silent until the rumours would fade so that the spotlight would not fall on me. But I could no longer hide who I was, and I had gained even more courage when Hoseok and his friends came to me with a promise to defend me if anyone would start messing with me the minute I came forward about it.

Both siblings had been my rocks, all solid and true, loyal to the core even when my own family had come close to disown me after I came to them with the truth.

Reaching over the table, she held my hands and gripped them tightly in hers. "And I'm glad you're still here. And that you are willing enough to be so honest with me about you being—well, you. And that you are falling in love with Kim Namjoon."

Pulling my hand from her, I rolled my eyes. "I'm not 'in love' with him, it's just—" I frowned, trying to figure out what I really felt. Aside from sharing a class, there was no secret that Namjoon had been terribly kind to me. He would come to talk to me after classes, and he had invited me for coffee a few times, though he had never made his intentions clear except that he wanted to get to know me better. I did feel something fuzzy in my belly when he talked to me, but I wasn't sure if there was anything deep in what I felt for him aside from my admiration for an upperclassman and the fact that I enjoyed the attention he was giving me.

"—a crush, maybe. That's all. And he's nice to me."

She raised her brows and gave me a knowing smile. "Oh, he's 'nice', hmm? Yeah, that's always how it starts."

I scoffed at her, knowing that it was also how her boyfriend managed to get under her skin. And, apparently, in a whole lot more as well, judging how crazy she was over him. But I was not about to talk about that prick. "Whatever, weirdo."

After catching the sight of Namjoon walking out of the library with a wink at my way, we both fell into a long talk about things. We had been out of the loop with the party scene on campus, being all caught up in studying and all, but it didn't stop us from hearing things through our classmates. Instead of comparing notes about our study session, we started comparing notes on the rumours that had been spreading around us. We were talking about her former flatmate who had begun dating a pre-med student, someone who was completely the opposite of the frat boys she had normally hung out and sometimes hooked up with, when I was reminded of something that I heard from one of her ex-flings.

"Oh, speaking about—" I lowered my voice and leaned closer, making sure that nobody would be able to listen in on us. "Have you heard the rumours that came from your boyfriend's circle of friends?"

"What rumour?"

"A frat boy was caught kissing another dude. Nobody ever got to find out who he was or who the other boy was, since the witness only saw shadows kissing at the back of the frat house without seeing their faces. It happened in the middle of a party which they held so it could be anyone, and nobody has come clean about it yet."

Judging by the way her lips were twitching downward, it was clear that she was not happy. And it was no doubt that she was pissed for the same reason that I was—that people were trying to prod into things that weren't really their business. "But does it really matter who they were? They can't exactly force someone to come out, right?"

I shrugged. "I guess not, but some people are curious, and you know about people on this campus, they all love to gossip." Once again, her face pinched. Despite living in the flats off campus, she knew all too well about those lousy gossips. "I'm just thinking that if you or Jungkook ever find out—you guys won't say a thing, right?"

She frowned at my request at first, but then her eyes softened. "Why would you be so worried about someone you barely know?" she asked me with the concerned tone that she always had when it came to me. "Besides, there's nothing for you to worry about. Haven't we both been keeping your secrets from everyone?"

"Well, yeah—that's actually the only reason why I had to get along with him, remember?"

This time, my sneer drew a smile from her. "If he can understand your situation, wouldn't he be more understanding when it comes to his friend?" she questioned me, though neither of us really had an answer to that question. Then, suddenly, as if she was seeing something on my face, she tilted her head and whispered, "You're actually worried about them."

Giving her a resigned sigh, I answered her with a nod. "I've been there, you know? Getting weird looks from people, girls having doubts about me actually being interested in them just because I'm also attracted to guys. I hate to imagine someone else going through something like I did. Especially if it's someone from one of those houses, since most of them are famous for being around girls." Looking down at my hands, I wasn't sure if I should tell her about the things that I had been hearing. But I just couldn't keep it to myself. "It's just—some rumours said it was Min Yoongi with some junior TA in Music. He denied it, of course, so nobody knows."

When I looked at her again, there was a concerned look in her eyes, something that was becoming more familiar in the years I had known her. "Do you know why I always get so worried about you?"

I had a feeling that I might know the answer to that. But I asked her anyway. "Why?"

"Because you have always had such a big heart. It might take a while for you to open up to other people, but the moment you let someone into your life, you always care for them a lot. Maybe too much. Hell, look at you worrying about some frat boy you barely know." There was a fond smile on her face that I had no choice but to return with mine. I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying a thing and let her continue, and she took my hands in hers again. "I'm worried that someone might one day be using that kindness of yours and get you hurt. I'd really hate to see that."

Little did she knew then, that I had been worried about the same thing for her. She had always been so fragile, so naive, and there was only one reason why I had never been able to get close to that boyfriend of hers. There was something about him that made it hard for me to trust him. Not with her heart. But I had kept it to myself, having no reason to actually point fingers. Yet. So I said nothing, and tried my best to reassure her that everything would be alright.

"I won't worry about it, especially when I know you'll have my back."

She grinned. "You know I will."

As we exchanged knowing gazes, I felt so sure that I would still have her by my side no matter what. Nothing could easily set us apart. Nothing could beat the years of friendship and trust that we had built.

At least, that was what I had truly believed.

But life had always been such a bitch. And nothing could stop it from derailing everything we had known and all that we had built together, leaving nothing behind but crumbles of dust.

—First life, year 2018—

My head was spinning. Worse yet, it felt like it was splitting in two.

Where was I? What the hell happened?"

I was pretty sure I blacked out. Or maybe I was in shock. It took a moment before everything began to clear up, though it didn't actually make it okay when the pounding in my head stopped only to allow me to hear all the noises around me.

"Hey, buddy. Are you okay?" I felt someone gripping at my shoulder while I was stumbling out of the crowded room. I felt people's eyes on me, but I ignored them all and turned to the person who was leading me out to a hallway right outside the room. That was when I turned and looked around, and everything sort of came back to me.

It was a frat party. I had heard that Sigma Phi was having this rave at their house and some people from my class had spotted Jungkook and his friends here. They had been sending me intel after I had spent the whole day searching for him after leaving ________'s flat.

After hearing how that bastard of a coward ran out of her place after finding out that she was pregnant.

And just like what my intel had informed me, he was hiding here with a fucking groupie who had been hanging out on Sigma to get lucky. Apparently, she lucked out to find that coward needing some distraction. But he wasn't as lucky, as I found him easily, completely unguarded, and I managed to get a few hits to ruin his pretty face before he retaliated and knocked me on the head.

I flinched the moment I recalled the hit he gave me. It wasn't hard, as he was pretty much drunk and my punches had probably left him disoriented, but he did put the blow at the right exact spot. And that spot was still pounding.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I grunted at my saviour. My fuzzy memory remembered his voice as the one who had stopped our fight and kicked Jungkook out of the house, and he had probably saved me from further humiliation by pulling me out of the dance floor.

"You need some ice on that. Come on, let me get you some," he said, pulling my attention back to him just as all the party crowd went back to what they were doing before the interruption. Back to partying like drunken monkeys.

I was going to say no to his offer and leave. But it was obvious that he was not taking any kind of refusal for an answer when he simply turned away from me, already leading me towards the kitchen area at the back.

"Hey, Yoongi. Good to see you back. How was your trip?" Some guy greeted him as we passed a group of people coming down from upstairs. The man turned to me once Yoongi greeted him back with a low grunt, obviously not a man of many words. Just like what the rumours had said about him. The man who greeted Yoongi turned to me and frowned. "Damn, what happened to you?"

I winced when I reached up to touch my face, no doubt already bruising badly if everyone could already see it. "It's nothing," I said, and I thought I could see a bit of pity mixing with concern on Yoongi's face when he turned to look at me.

"One of the bastards from Kappa Sigma hit him," Yoongi explained, answering him for me. There was no doubt that he had witnessed everything that happened as he was the one who pulled us apart right after that bastard had put his fist on me, but I was glad that he wasn't about to bring it up. Though knowing Jungkook's reputation, pretty sure the rumours would start spreading in the morning. And I was quite sure that Jungkook must have been on his way back to her already, probably spitting out lies to protect himself. I really hoped that he would be grovelling on the ground she was standing on before she would take him back in her arms. Just the thought of them reconciling made me feel like there was a cold fist closing in around my heart. I hated knowing why he was here, hated that I had seen him and caught him red-handed. I wished I had beaten him up even worse, enough to stop him from running back to her, just like how he deserved it.

Just like how cowards like him deserved it.

"Don't worry, man. I'm taking him back so I could put some ice on it," I heard Yoongi's voice talking to the other guy, snapping me back to present, and it was clear that I had missed out half of their conversation about my lousy fate. Only then did I realise that one of the girls from the group he was with was standing next to me, looking at the bruise curiously.

"Oh, you poor thing," she said, holding back from touching my bruise and started rubbing her hand up and down my arm instead.

I forced a smile and held back another wince when the small gesture was enough to hurt. "Nothing a piece of ice couldn't fix. Though I'm sure that my pride took a lot more bruises from that," I tried to joke, raising my hand that was clutching at my glasses, which had been broken no thanks to Jungkook's fist. "And my glasses, apparently."

I heard a few of the people from the group chuckling at my joke, while the girl began shaking her head while giving me a smile. I had heard things about the boys from Sigma Phi and nothing about them had ever been bad. Words spread around campus kept telling me that these boys were more decent than the boys from Jungkook's house. Damn, even their groupies were decent girls. Just like the girl who was by my side, as I recognised her easily as someone who had frequented the library to study just as often as I usually would.

Unlike all those players in Kappa Sigma house who would rotate the girls they hooked up with according to months, sometimes weeks. Not to mention their fan club, the girls who spent nearly all their college years doing nothing but partying and hooking up with the popular kids on campus.

Why couldn't she find someone from this house to fall for and date instead?

"Fuck, that's messed up. Alright then, I'll leave you to Yoongi's capable hands. Hey, if you need a ride to the hospital or something to have some fixing, give me a holler, alright?" the guy whose name I couldn't even remember offered me just when I was about to follow Yoongi, and all I could do was nod.

"Thanks, man," I muttered, not sure if he could hear me through the loud music, but the girl did give me another smile and a peck on my cheek before she followed him out the back.

"Here you go," Yoongi said to me as we sat around the kitchen counter, handing me a bag of ice that he pulled out of a beer cooler.

"Thanks," I said, taking the bag from him and pressed it on my templed, immediately wincing at the pain. "Ow, fuck."

He snorted at my reaction, though it didn't exactly erase the concerned look in his eyes. "Take it easy."

Sighing, I nodded my head stiffly and kept the ice pressed onto my face. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

He nodded and pursed his lips, looking thoughtful for a second before speaking, "You're her friend, aren't you? Jungkook's girl?"

My jaw twitched. "Yeah. We've been friends since we were kids."

He began shaking his head. "You know, even if I don't know her that well. I wouldn't have to be her childhood friend to lay one on Jungkook. I fucking hate cheaters," he said, looking disgusted.

"Doesn't seem like the others think the same way as you do."

Yoongi looked down, releasing a sigh. "I really don't understand these people. They'd rather cover up some fucker cheating behind their girls and do nothing to those who really need some real help."

I wanted to say something about it, but I couldn't. I wasn't even his friend, anyway. So we only sat there in silence with the music from the party still banging in the background. He turned to grab a bottle of beer from the cooler, offering one to me, then we continued to sit there while drinking our beers in silence. The rumours that I had heard about him over the past year came back to me just as I looked at his resigned face, and the words were hanging right at the tip of my tongue. Though I wasn't completely sure what I was going to say if I wanted to bring it up in our conversation.

Would it be proper for me to ask if those rumours were true? Only minutes after he helped me?

Just when I opened my mouth to try and speak, to talk about anything, just to break this awkwardness between us, he looked up over my shoulders and out the windows overlooking the front yard as something coming in front of the house caught his attention.

"Hey, you need a ride back or something? I'm heading out, so—"

I began considering it, not exactly sure if I was ready to part ways yet. But again, we were not friends. Just because he had saved me from being humiliated in the middle of a party and by giving me some ice, didn't mean we became instant best friends either. "Uh, no. But thanks. I'll find my own ride somehow."

He nodded. "Right. Take care then."

"You too."

I watched him leave the room. My eyes couldn't look away from his retreating back as he ran out of the house and off to the sidewalk, riding a black SUV that didn't exactly fit the scene on campus. There was something inside me that kept nagging me about letting him go without saying a thing or asking for his number, but I was too tired, too sore, and completely pissed at how this night had turned out to care about making friends.

Tossing the bag of ice into the sink, I walked out of the house through the side porch where he had exited the house from earlier and pulled out my phone. My heart was beating like crazy when I dialled his number, but that immediately passed when I heard his voice from the other side of the phone call.

"Hello?"

I bit my lips. Something inside my gut was telling me that I might be doing something stupid. But right now, I really had nobody else to turn to. "Namjoon, hi. It's me, Taehyung. I'm sorry for bothering you so late, but I think I'm going to need a ride home."

"There's nothing for you to apologise for. You know that I'm always here for you. I'll be there in ten. Wait for me."

—First life, year 2020—

How did it come to this?

Standing at the back of the seated guests while wearing a tight monkey suit, I looked around with a mixed feeling in my chest. I had thought that I wouldn't feel much about being here, but there was a feeling of disdain as I stood there, taking in all these guests. For a wedding ceremony, there were not a lot of people who came in. Just close relatives and friends, perhaps. But even as I looked over to see her parents sitting close to my mine, reminding me how our lives had been connected for as long as we knew each other, I still felt like a complete stranger.

I had no idea how she managed to find me. After I left college early to join Namjoon's charity mission, I never had any contact with her. The only people I had kept in touch with had been my parents, sometimes Hoseok, but I had convinced them not to tell her where I was as I moved around with Namjoon and his crew.

So when I came home to the lodge where Namjoon and I had been staying in during our trip to find him handing me the invitation, needless to say, I was completely floored. There was no reason for me to be here. I guess the only reason why I had flown across the world was only to make sure that this was really happening and not her playing a sick joke on me.

Everything around me had shown me that this was real. That she was actually getting married. And right there, standing at the end of the aisle was the man himself.

Jeon fucking Jungkook.

He was talking with his brother when I looked over at him. As if he could feel my gaze on him, he suddenly turned to see me. His eyes hardened when he recognised me, but he only nodded at me instead of looking at me with hostility before returning to his chat.

I looked away just as my Dad left his seat and walked towards me. Giving me a pat on my shoulder, he whispered to me, "Glad to see you make it here, Son."

We chatted for a bit with him telling me that he was finally able to convince _______'s Dad to walk her down the aisle, and he left just as both her parents and mine moved towards the bride side of the seats in the front. While they were moving, stealing everyone's attention, I slipped away towards the rooms hidden on the other side of the Wedding Hall to find the bride's room.

It didn't take much convincing on the bridesmaids standing guard at her door to let me in so I could see her, though it was clear to me that she had not been expecting to see me dropping by right before she was about to exchange vows.

"You came," she said, completely stunned to see me standing there. Neither of us made a move to come closer or hug each other the way we used to, as I stood closer to the door with my hands tucked inside my pockets and her trembling hands clutching on her flower bouquet. I noticed her favourite flowers, white roses and daisies, looking just as bright and glorious as her white wedding dress looked.

When I looked at her again, there was sadness in her gaze, and a bit of hope. But I knew I crushed the latter when I said, "I only came because I had too many questions. And I suppose I needed to be here just to see that this is actually going down."

She gave me a grim smile. "As you can see, this is happening. I'm getting married," she said, and her voice cracked for a second before she cleared her throat to hide it. "So—what questions do you have?"

She looked up at me expectantly and all the questions that had been circling inside my head since the moment I held the invitation she sent me in my hands became all jumbled together. The only thing that came right out of my mouth was—

"Why?"

She blinked, clearly not expecting that. So I simply continued, "Why, after everything that he had put you through, would you still marry him?"

Her eyes softened, though there was a hint of doubt in them when she spoke. "He's been with me the entire time. He has helped me heal and helped me with the grief of losing our—" She stopped before she could even try to say the word 'baby,' obvious that she had yet to get over the grief of losing her pregnancy. The fact that she had not only forgiven him for causing the event but also for getting back together with him had been the reason why I left a couple of years ago.

I had no idea that she was still having trouble with it and that she was still grieving, all because I was not here for her. And apparently, he had been the one to fill that empty spot that I left behind on my departure.

"Why so soon? You still have yet to finish college, have you?" From the little communication I had kept with Hoseok since the day I left, I had known that she had been having trouble catching up with classes. The accident and the treatments that she had to go through made her fall back almost a year, and catching up must have been hard when most of her friends had excelled and when she was still haunted with everything that had happened, all the things she had lost, and the fact that she had to face all the people who knew about it.

Shaking her head, she began to admit the troubles she had been facing on campus, before letting me know that Jungkook had been going through the opposite. In his effort to show her that he was able to change, Jungkook had spent the past few years throwing himself into his study, making it possible for him to finish college early and for him to take a position in a company that belonged to one of his father's business partner before he would take his place in his own family business like his brother did.

"He promised to take care of me," she said after while smiling softly.

"And you still believe in him?"

She looked straight into my eyes and said, "I do. And he hasn't failed me since to give me a reason not to believe in him." I still had my doubts despite the way she seemed so sure about it, yet I said nothing, knowing that she would never listen to me anyway. Even if she would, it would only be much too late. Releasing a deep sigh, she repeated the same words she had given me then, "It's not like it was an easy decision to make either, but—everyone deserves a second chance, Taehyung."

'Not everyone,' I wanted so badly to tell her, but I kept them to myself. Only because there was nothing good that could come out of it if I had said something to stop her. And judging by the looks of it, nothing could stop this from going on.

"And your parents? What did they have to say about this?"

"Obviously, neither my Dad nor Hoseok was happy about it," she said dryly, and I remembered seeing her Dad fuming in his seat as he waited for the ceremony to begin, before my Dad seemed to be able to somehow change his mind. "But Mom had given me a chance to make the choice. Though I doubt that we'll be invited home for the holidays as long as my Dad still refuses to give us his blessings. She could barely convince them to come. I think they only came today initially because she hasn't been feeling well lately and both my Dad and my brother had been worried about letting her go out of the house on her own."

I looked down and resisted the urge to shake my head. Now I understood why her parents had been sitting close to the exit, no doubt all because her Dad was so ready to walk out of the ceremony instead of staying to support her. And honestly, being away from her had yet to change what I had thought about Jungkook.

"He doesn't deserve you."

The words that I gave her the last time we met came back to me. I still had no regrets ever voicing my thoughts and opinions about Jungkook, but I regretted that she was too stubborn to even consider taking her time before she would give him another chance and open her arms to welcome him back. And now, she was marrying him, completely tying the knot to make it last even longer. Perhaps forever.

"Taehyung?"

As I looked at her again, there was an expectation in her gaze that pulled at my heart. It was then when I realised that sending me the invitation was her act of lending me an olive branch. To give us another chance in friendship and have me back in her life again.

The same way she gave a chance to Jungkook.

But it was too late. Looking at things now, it was obvious that we were no longer walking on the same path. We had parted ways on a crossroad years ago, choosing different directions which had led us to who we were today.

Before she could say anything, I took a few steps closer to her and kissed her on the forehead. The move must have surprised her because she stiffened at my touch for a moment before relaxing against me, though I gave her no chance to dwell on it when I whispered,

"Be happy."

Without looking back at her, I quickly left the room, leaving her behind with her own thoughts. Less than fifteen minutes later, I was right back where I was standing earlier, right at the far back in the Wedding Hall, witnessing her moody father walking her down the aisle to where Jungkook was waiting for her. Both of them shared big smiles on their faces as they were joined together at the altar, though her eyes showed sadness when she glanced back at the guests to find me, knowing that it would be the last time she would ever see me.

I stood there in silence as the ceremony continued. As they held hands, staring into each other's eyes as they exchanged vows to be together until death would do them part. It was like adding salt to my wounds, but it was enough to make me see the reality of our relationship, that I had been replaced.

"He promised to take care of me."

And there was really no need for me to stay, whether to prove myself wrong and watch him actually make her happy or to witness her regretting her decisions when he would hurt her again one day the way he had the last time she gave him her trust.

The moment I heard her say, "I do," I didn't stay long enough to wait for the ceremony to end and turned away, making my way out of the Wedding Hall and out of her life, where I was no longer needed.