—First life. St. Vincent's Hospital, year 2027—

It was almost noon when the day-shift nurse came in with some papers to sign. A few of them were papers regarding some new medicines they were giving me, which I had to sign as a form of consent that I agreed to take them. The rest were consent letters for my upcoming test runs.

"Some of them will be pretty hard for you. They involve CT scans, MRI, blood tests, and you will be spending most of the day in the lab. We need to make sure that you know what you are going to be dealing with and that you'll be ready for them," the nurse patiently explained to us as she handed the papers to Hoseok and me, even if we could already tell what they were all about.

The doctors had decided to give one day for me to rest before the tests would be held. So I stayed in the room the whole day with Yoongi and Hoseok, with the television turned on so we could catch up with the news.

And that was when I finally heard the name that I had not heard for years.

"The police has apprehended Kim Namjoon, one of the leaders of StarCorp, during the demonstration held by the organisation yesterday morning which had immobilised 50% of public transportation in the peak of the busy hour. StarCorp has been recognised as an illegal environmental organisation that has allegedly scammed numerous people to aid their movements against the government, in the guise of—"

The female news anchor's voice faded as his face appeared on the screen, and I was taken back to many years ago, when I had first met him before he took Taehyung away from me. As his picture stared back at me, I was reminded of all the pain he had caused on Taehyung and his family and all the regrets I felt for not being able to do anything to help.

I felt Hoseok shifting on his seat next to me. A deep sigh came from him as he continued to listen to the news anchor as she talked about a few cases in the past where StarCorp and Namjoon had crossed path with the authorities. A few of them which had involved my childhood best friend, Taehyung.

The room fell silent after the news ended and a few commercials came onto the screen.

"He has agreed to take the witness stand against Namjoon," Hoseok suddenly spoke, breaking the silence just as I was starting to think about Taehyung.

As a matter of fact, he had been on my mind ever since the day I returned to our old home. The old memories of having him there with me growing up until the day our friendship fell apart had made me wondering where he was and if life had been giving him any chance to recover and redeem himself after what he had gone through. It took me a moment to let Hoseok's words sink in before I finally got it.

"Wait—" I turned to my brother with disbelief. "You mean, you found him?"

Hoseok gave me a somber look and nodded. "I contacted his lawyer to track him down. That's how I found out about their plans and the deal he took with the court," he said, leaning back in his seat while he spoke to me. "They have moved him to a different correctional facility upstate. He is close to his release day, but with the case still open and the court needing him to take their side, they are giving him some remission through the new prison time while keeping him close to where the court could reach him more easily."

My head was spinning with this information. I had no clue whatsoever when it comes to court law, unlike my brother, so I only took in what was needed.

"So he really is still in jail?"

Hoseok nodded again and reached for my hand. "He had served nearly half of his jail time and if he takes the deal, he'll get more of them reduced. It was only a matter of time until the court agrees to serve him with another remission anyway, but this deal will make a great difference for his future and to clear his name. I've spoken to his lawyer and advised him to pursue an early release with probation in exchange to Taehyung's testimony. It's a long shot, but still worth to try."

I looked down on my hands, unable to deal with the fact that my best friend had been leading a hard life. For many years, I have been blaming myself for it. For being the one who was responsible for leading him to make the terrible choices which had led to this point. All because I had let him, because I had pushed him away.

"Have you ever tried to contact him before?"

Shaking my head, I returned my brother's gaze with a regretful smile. "I tried to, when I first found out about it. He would always refuse my phone calls and he never answered my letters, until the old prison where he was kept in started returning those letters to me and I finally stopped trying," I told him, sighing deeply. "It doesn't matter anyway. It's not like I have any rights to try and reach out."

Because there was nothing left to fix.

"That's not true," Hoseok immediately said, gripping my hand in his to make his point clear. "It wasn't your fault that he got mixed up with a bad crowd."

"But it was!" I cut him off before he even tried to say otherwise. "I could've prevented it from happening. I pushed him away and he just—"

"People makes bad decisions. It's not really anyone's fault but ourselves whenever we make those mistakes," Yoongi suddenly spoke after silently watching us talked. "He made his decisions and made his own bed with it, and now he's paying the price. Maybe your falling out did lead him into getting in trouble but it's not like you were pointing a gun to his face and tell him to go with Namjoon and support his scam. It was also his choice to make when he refused Hoseok's help when he offered to be his lawyer, not yours. He could've gotten a bigger chance to redeem himself back then but he had decided not to, even without you meddling into his business when it all happened."

He gave me a sad smile when he noticed how I had become silent, somehow knowing that his words had gotten to me. And they did, even if I haven't truly believed any of it.

"I know that it's unfortunate that you can't visit him with your condition, or for me to get him to see you," Hoseok said to me, pulling my attention back to him once I was finally calming down. "But let's hope that things are going well so we can get you to see each other and talk once you get better or once he is out. Okay?"

"Okay," I reluctantly muttered to agree with him. Even if I felt like time would not be on my side to allow any of it to ever happen.

—First life. ______'s flat, year 2018—

"Is it true? You're going back together with Jungkook?"

It was the first thing Taehyung said to me right the moment he came bursting into my flat one day, not too long after I had reconciled with Jungkook. Even if his sudden appearance had caught me completely by surprise, I had my attention solely on what he was showing me through his expression which had my heart hurting and crumbling into pieces. It was the disbelief that was strong in his gaze, mixed with hurt and disappointment.

And every single one of it was aimed at me.

Chill came creeping up my spine and fear took over me as I witnessed my best friend — the one who I had looked up to as my rock — became someone completely different. Someone who I could no longer recognise. I had no idea what came over me then, but there was something inside me that felt like he was slipping away and I had to do all I could to stop it.

"Taehyung, I can explain—"

"Explain what?" he snapped before I could even try to say anything. "Are you seriously doing this to yourself? How could you? Need I remind you what he had done?"

Stuttering on my words, I tried to explain. I told him how Jungkook had never truly given up on me, how he had been there through my recovery and that he had been my strength when I was trying to put myself together.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," I recalled my mother's words in the back of my mind as I talked about how I was willing to give Jungkook a second chance as I would do the same if it had been him in Jungkook's shoes. That I had believed that in order for me to completely heal and move on was to give ourselves a new start, a new beginning. Yet the more I voiced them out loud, the more I saw Taehyung's expression—his eye-rolling, his scoff, and the way he was shaking his head—I began to question myself whether it was really him I was trying to convince or if I was convincing myself, when I was starting to lose my faith on my own conviction.

Just like I had expected, Taehyung couldn't accept any word I said.

"I can't do this again. I can't stay with you," he said, shaking his head while he kept his eyes on me. His eyes, that were staring at me with a pained look which had my heart shattering inside. "I can't just sit here and watch you fall apart when he hurts you again."

I opened and closed my mouth as I couldn't find any words to respond to him with. Then the only thing I said after came out as a whisper, once again sounded more like I was convincing myself instead of him when I said, "He promised that he would try."

Taehyung scoffed at me. "Oh, did he?" he asked me with a bitter tone in his voice which had me wince as if he had just slapped me right in the face. Yet he did not stop there. "And how many times has he made those kinds of promises? How long will you wait and believe him until he grows tired of trying and run away like a little child when he messes things up again?"

Tears came building up in my eyes as he slapped me with the reality which I had refused to see. Yet, even if somewhere deep down I knew there was some truth in his words, I was too stubborn to see it and to accept it. And it was far too late for me to go back on my words already.

"I only came here to tell you that I'm leaving," he suddenly said to me before I could respond to what he just said to me, sending me back a step with a shock.

What is he talking about?

"I actually wanted to hear your opinion first, since you keep telling me that you can't trust Namjoon or whatever. But now that I know you've never truly needed my opinion on your life so why should I?" he said, with hatred and bitterness covering his tone of voice, further breaking me apart inside. That was when I knew he was too far gone and that I was already losing him. And I could see how much I have hurt him the moment I met his eyes. "I just saw him walk out of your flat, _____. It's clear that you don't need me around telling you what to do when you never listen to me anyway. Meanwhile, Namjoon needs me and I'd rather be with someone who appreciates me than stay for someone who only wants me around to have me pick up their pieces after someone else broke them apart."

No, I wanted so badly to say it loud and clear. To stop him from leaving.

I told myself because I didn't want him to get hurt. Because I couldn't trust the man he was giving his trust and his full devotion to. But I couldn't say anything. Not when I felt like I didn't deserve to have a say in his life. Not anymore.

But I still tried to. "But what about college?" I asked him. "You only have a year left to finish. Are you really going to give that away?"

Taehyung shook his head. "There was no point in any of this anymore," he said, waving his hands around. "I've skipped classes and ditched my study to be there for you. What's the point of catching up if those sacrifices are made for nothing?"

"Taehyung—"

"Namjoon is giving me a purpose, and he has been there for me when you were too busy listening to Jungkook's bullshit so I know which one between you is worth the effort. I'm leaving, ______. I'm done trying to convince you to not go back to that bastard. So I suggest you don't try to convince me and stop me from doing what I want," he said. His words were final, and so did the look on his face which he gave me before he walked out of my flat and disappeared from my life.

It was not the last time I saw him, however.

He came back a couple of years later, when my wedding invitation had somehow reached him and he appeared to witness me reading my wedding vows to Jungkook.

I nearly stumbled on my steps when I saw him standing between the guests on my walk towards the altar. His eyes were cold as he stared at me with no emotions on his face, before his gaze moved to find Jungkook at the end of the path, waiting for me, and I was once again presented with the look of betrayal and anger in his eyes when he looked back at me.

I could still feel the heat of his gaze when I walked away, and it was still there as I was exchanging those wedding vows, yet he made no move to stop the ceremony from happening.

"He doesn't deserve you," he said to me at the end of the day, when he finally had the chance to come to me.

"He has changed, Taehyung. You should've seen him. He has been doing everything he had promised me he would," I told him, before I began to beg for him to stay, as I convinced him that I would need my best friend back by my side as I began this new chapter in life of mine.

Yet he blatantly refused without a blink.

"Just because I'm far away and I'm not by your side, it doesn't mean I don't see or hear things," he quickly said to me, completely ignoring my pleas for him to come back.

"Taehyung, I—"

He cut me off with a sad and broken smile. "Be happy," he said, nearly sounding like a whisper when he spoke, before he bitterly gave me his final words, "At least that way I won't feel so guilty for giving up on you."

It was the last thing he said to me before he turned away and walked out of my life only to never return to me again. Before time and distance came between us, sending him far, far away from me. Before he became too far out of reach for me to pick up his pieces when his life fell apart.